1. From my grandfather Verus[159] [I learned] good morals and the
government of my temper.
2. From the reputation and remembrance of my father,[160] modesty and
a manly character.
3. From my mother,[161] piety and beneficence, and abstinence, not
only from evil deeds, but even from evil thoughts; and, further,
simplicity in my way of living, far removed from the habits of the
rich.
4. From my great-grandfather,[162] not to have frequented public
schools, and to have had good teachers at home, and to know that on
such things a man should spend liberally.
5. From my governor, to be neither of the green nor of the blue party
at the games in the circus, nor a partizan either of the Parmularius
or the Scutarius at the gladiators' fights; from him too I learned
endurance of labor and to want little, and to work with my own hands,
and not to meddle with other people's affairs, and not to be ready to
listen to slander.
6. From Diognetus,[163] not to busy myself about trifling things, and
not to give credit to what was said by miracle-workers and jugglers
about incantations and the driving away of demons and such things; and
not to breed quails [for fighting], not to give myself up passionately
to such things; and to endure freedom of speech; and to have become
intimate with philosophy; and to have been a hearer, first of
Bacchius, then of Tandasis and Marcianus; and to have written dialogs
in my youth; and to have desired a plank bed and skin, and whatever
else of the kind belongs to the Grecian discipline.
7. From Rusticus[164] I received the impression that my character
required improvement and discipline; and from him I learned not to be
led astray to sophistic emulation, nor to writing on speculative
matters, nor to delivering little hortatory orations, nor to showing
myself off as a man who practises much discipline, or does benevolent
acts in order to make a display; and to abstain from rhetoric, and
poetry, and fine writing; and not to walk about in the house in my
outdoor dress, nor to do other things of the kind; and to write my
letters with simplicity, like the letter which Rusticus wrote from
Sinuessa to my mother; and with respect to those who have offended me
by words, or done me wrong, to be easily disposed to be pacified and
reconciled, as soon as they have shown a readiness to be reconciled;
and to read carefully, and not to be satisfied with a superficial
understanding of a book; not hastily to give my assent to those who
talk overmuch; and I am indebted to him for being acquainted with the
discourses of Epictetus.
8. From Apollonius[165] I learned freedom of will and undeviating
steadiness of purpose; and to look to nothing else, not even for a
moment, except to reason; and to be always the same, in sharp pains,
on the occasion of the loss of a child, and in long illness; and to
see clearly in a living example that the same man can be both most
resolute and yielding, and not peevish in giving his instruction; and
to have had before my eyes a man who clearly considered his experience
and his skill in expounding philosophical principles as the smallest
of his merits; and from him I learned how to receive from friends what
are esteemed favors, without being either humbled by them or letting
them pass unnoticed.
9. From Sextus,[166] a benevolent disposition, and the example of a
family governed in a fatherly manner, and the idea of living
conformably to nature; and gravity without affectation, and to look
carefully after the interests of friends, and to tolerate ignorant
persons and those who form opinions without consideration: he had the
power of readily accommodating himself to all, so that intercourse
with him was more agreeable than any flattery; and at the same time he
was most highly venerated by those who associated with him; and he had
the faculty both of discovering and ordering, in an intelligent
methodical way, the principles necessary for life; and he never showed
anger or any other passion, but was entirely free from passion, and
also most affectionate; and he could express approbation without noisy
display, and he possessed much knowledge without ostentation.
10. From Alexander[167] the grammarian, to refrain from fault-finding,
and not in a reproachful way to chide those who uttered any barbarous
or solecistic or strange-sounding expression; but dexterously to
introduce the very expression which ought to have been used, and in
the way of answer or giving confirmation, or joining in an inquiry
about the thing itself, not about the word, or by some other fit
suggestion.
11. From Fronto[168] I learned to observe what envy, and duplicity,
and hypocrisy are in a tyrant, and that generally those among us who
are called Patricians are rather deficient in paternal affection.
12. From Alexander the Platonic, not frequently nor without necessity
to say to any one, or to write in a letter, that I have no leisure;
nor continually to excuse the neglect of duties required by our
relation to those with whom we live, by alleging urgent occupations.
13. From Catulus,[169] not to be indifferent when a friend finds
fault, even if he should find fault without reason, but to try to
restore him to his usual disposition; and to be ready to speak well of
teachers, as it is reported of Domitius and Athenodotus; and to love
my children truly.
14. From my brother Severus, to love my kin, and to love truth, and to
love justice; and through him I learned to know Thrasea, Helvidius,
Cato, Dion, Brutus; and from him I received the idea of a polity in
which there is the same law for all, a polity administered with regard
to equal rights and equal freedom of speech, and the idea of a kingly
government which respects most of all the freedom of the governed; I
learned from him also consistency and undeviating steadiness in my
regard for philosophy; and a disposition to do good, and to give to
others readily, and to cherish good hopes, and to believe that I am
loved by my friends; and in him I observed no concealment of his
opinions with respect to those whom he condemned, and that his friends
had no need to conjecture what he wished or did not wish, but it was
quite plain.
15. From Maximus[170] I learned self-government, and not to be led
aside by anything; and cheerfulness in all circumstances as well as in
illness; and a just admixture in the moral character of sweetness and
dignity, and to do what was set before me without complaining. I
observed that everybody believed that he thought as he spoke, and that
in all that he did he never had any bad intention; and he never showed
amazement and surprize, and was never in a hurry, and never put off
doing a thing, nor was perplexed nor dejected, nor did he ever laugh
to disguise his vexation, nor, on the other hand, was he ever
passionate or suspicious. He was accustomed to do acts of beneficence,
and was ready to forgive, and was free from all falsehood; and he
presented the appearance of a man who could not be diverted from right
rather than of a man who had been improved. I observed, too that no
man could ever think that he was despised by Maximus, or ever venture
to think himself a better man. He had also the art of being humorous
in an agreeable way.
16. In my father[171] I observed mildness of temper, and unchangeable
resolution in the things which he had determined after due
deliberation; and no vainglory in those things which men call honors;
and a love of labor and perseverance; and a readiness to listen to
those who had anything to propose for the common weal; and undeviating
firmness in giving to every man according to his deserts; and a
knowledge derived from experience of the occasions for vigorous action
and for remission. And I observed that he had overcome all passion
for boys; and he considered himself no more than any other citizen;
and he released his friends from all obligation to sup with him or to
attend him of necessity when he went abroad, and those who had failed
to accompany him, by reason of any urgent circumstances, always found
him the same. I observed too his habit of careful inquiry in all
matters of deliberation, and his persistency, and that he never stopt
his investigation through being satisfied with appearances which first
present themselves; and that his disposition was to keep his friends,
and not to be soon tired of them, nor yet to be extravagant in his
affection; and to be satisfied on all occasions, and cheerful; and to
foresee things a long way off, and to provide for the smallest without
display; and to check immediately popular applause and all flattery;
and to be ever watchful over the things which were necessary for the
administration of the empire, and to be a good manager of the
expenditure, and patiently to endure the blame which he got for such
conduct; and he was neither superstitious with respect to the gods,
nor did he court men by gifts or by trying to please them, or by
flattering the populace; but he showed sobriety in all things and
firmness, and never any mean thoughts or action, nor love of
novelty....
17. To the gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good
parents, a good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen
and friends, nearly everything good. Further, I owe it to the gods
that I was not hurried into any offense against any of them, tho I had
a disposition which, if opportunity had offered, might have led me to
do something of this kind; but, through their favor, there never was
such a concurrence of circumstances as put me to the trial. Further, I
am thankful to the gods that I was not longer brought up with my
grandfather's concubine, and that I preserved the flower of my youth,
and that I did not make proof of my virility before the proper season,
but even deferred the time; that I was subjected to a ruler and a
father who was able to take away all pride from me, and to bring me to
the knowledge that it is possible for a man to live in a palace
without wanting either guards or embroidered dresses, or torches and
statues, and such-like show; but that it is in such a man's power to
bring himself very near to the fashion of a private person, without
being for this reason either meaner in thought, or more remiss in
action, with respect to the things which must be done for the public
interest in a manner that befits a ruler. I thank the gods for giving
me such a brother,[172] who was able by his moral character to rouse
me to vigilance over myself, and who, at the same time, pleased me by
his respect and affection; that my children have not been stupid nor
deformed in body; that I did not make more proficiency in rhetoric,
poetry, and the other studies, in which I should perhaps have been
completely engaged, if I had seen that I was making progress in them;
that I made haste to place those who brought me up in the station of
honor, which they seemed to desire, without putting them off with
hope of my doing it some time after, because they were then still
young; that I knew Apollonius, Rusticus, Maximus; that I received
clear and frequent impressions about living according to nature, and
what kind of a life that is, so that, so far as depended on the gods,
and their gifts, and help, and inspirations, nothing hindered me from
forthwith living according to nature, tho I still fall short of it
through my own fault, and through not observing the admonitions of the
gods, and I may almost say, their direct instructions; that my body
has held out so long in such a kind of life; that I never touched
either Benedicta or Theodotus; and that, after having fallen into
amatory passions, I was cured; and, tho I was often out of humor with
Rusticus, I never did anything of which I had occasion to repent;
that, tho it was my mother's fate to die young, she spent the last
years of her life with me; that, whenever I wished to help any man in
his need, or on any other occasion, I was never told that I had not
the means of doing it; and that to myself the same necessity never
happened, to receive anything from another; that I have such a wife,
so obedient, and so affectionate, and so simple; that I had abundance
of good masters for my children; and that remedies have been shown to
me by dreams, both others, and against blood-spitting and giddiness;
and that, when I had an inclination to philosophy, I did not fall into
the hands of any sophist.