(68 A.D.)
He was terrified with manifest warnings, both old and new, arising
from dreams, auspices, and omens. He had never been used to dream
before the murder of his mother. After that event, he fancied in his
sleep that he was steering a ship, and that the rudder was forced from
him: that he was dragged by his wife Octavia into a prodigiously dark
place; and was at one time covered over with a vast swarm of winged
ants, and at another, surrounded by the national images which were set
up near Pompey's theater, and hindered from advancing farther; that a
Spanish jennet he was fond of, had his hinder parts so changed as to
resemble those of an ape; and that having his head only left
unaltered, he neighed very harmoniously. The doors of the mausoleum of
Augustus flying open of themselves, there issued from it a voice,
calling on him by name. The Lares being adorned with fresh garlands on
the calends (the first) of January, fell down during the preparations
for sacrificing to them. While he was taking the omens, Sporus
presented him with a ring, the stone of which had carved upon it the
Rape of Proserpine. When a great multitude of several orders was
assembled, to attend at the solemnity of making vows to the gods, it
was a long time before the keys of the Capitol could be found. And
when, in a speech of his to the senate against Vindex, these words
were read, "that the miscreants should be punished and soon make the
end they merited," they all cried out, "You will do it, Augustus." It
was likewise remarked, that the last tragic piece which he sung, was
OEdipus in Exile, and that he fell as he was repeating this verse:
"Wife, mother, father, force me to my end."
Meanwhile, on the arrival of the news that the rest of the armies had
declared against him, he tore to piece the letters which were
delivered to him at dinner, overthrew the table, and dashed with
violence against the ground two favorite cups, which he called
Homer's, because some of that poet's verses were cut upon them. Then
taking from Locusta a dose of poison, which he put up in a golden box,
he went into the Servilian gardens, and thence dispatching a trusty
freedman to Ostia, with orders to make ready a fleet, he endeavored to
prevail with some tribunes and centurions of the praetorian guards to
attend him in his flight; but part of them showing no great
inclination to comply, others absolutely refusing, and one of them
crying out aloud,
"Say, is it then so sad a thing to die?"
he was in great perplexity whether he should submit himself to
Galba,[156] or apply to the Parthians for protection, or else appear
before the people drest in mourning, and, upon the rostra, in the most
piteous manner, beg pardon for his past misdemeanors, and, if he could
not prevail, request of them to grant him at least the government of
Egypt. A speech to this purpose was afterward found in his
writing-case. But it is conjectured that he durst not venture upon
this project, for fear of being torn to pieces, before he could get to
the forum.
Deferring, therefore, his resolution until the next day, he awoke
about midnight, and finding the guards withdrawn, he leapt out of bed,
and sent round for his friends. But none of them vouchsafing any
message in reply, he went with a few attendants to their houses. The
doors being everywhere shut, and no one giving him any answer, he
returned to his bed-chamber; whence those who had the charge of it had
all now eloped; some having gone one way, and some another, carrying
off with them his bedding and box of poison. He then endeavored to
find Spicillus, the gladiator, or some one to kill him; but not being
able to procure any one, "What!" said he, "have I then neither friend
nor foe?" and immediately ran out, as if he would throw himself into
the Tiber.
But this furious impulse subsiding, he wished for some place of
privacy, where he might collect his thoughts; and his freedman Phaon
offering him his country-house, between the Salarian and Nomentan
roads, about four miles from the city, he mounted a horse, barefoot as
he was, and in his tunic, only slipping over it an old soiled cloak;
with his head muffled up, and a handkerchief before his face, and four
persons only to attend him, of whom Sporus was one. He was suddenly
struck with horror by an earthquake, and by a flash of lightning which
darted full in his face, and heard from the neighboring camp the
shouts of the soldiers, wishing his destruction, and prosperity to
Galba. He also heard a traveler they met on the road, say, "They are
in pursuit of Nero": and another ask, "Is there any news in the city
about Nero?" Uncovering his face when his horse was started by the
scent of a carcass which lay in the road, he was recognized and
saluted by an old soldier who had been discharged from the guards.
When they came to the lane which turned up to the house, they quitted
their horses, and with much difficulty he wound among bushes and
briars, and along a track through a bed of rushes, over which they
spread their cloaks for him to walk on. Having reached a wall at the
back of the villa, Phaon advised him to hide himself a while in a
sand-pit; when he replied, "I will not go underground alive." Staying
there some little time, while preparations were made for bringing him
privately into the villa, he took up some water out of a neighboring
tank in his hand, to drink, saying, "This is Nero's distilled water."
Then his cloak having been torn by the brambles, he pulled out the
thorns which stuck in it. At last, being admitted, creeping upon his
hands and knees, through a hole made for him in the wall, he lay down
in the first closet he came to, upon a miserable pallet, with an old
coverlet thrown over it; and being both hungry and thirsty, tho he
refused some coarse bread that was brought him, he drank a little warm
water.
All who surrounded him now pressing him to save himself from the
indignities which were ready to befall him, he ordered a pit to be
sunk before his eyes, of the size of his body, and the bottom to be
covered with pieces of marble put together, if any could be found
about the house; and water and wood to be got ready for immediate use
about his corpse; weeping at everything that was done, and frequently
saying, "What an artist is now about to perish!" Meanwhile, letters
being brought in by a servant belonging to Phaon, he snatched them out
of his hand, and there read, "That he had been declared an enemy by
the senate, and that search was making for him, that he might be
punished according to the ancient custom of the Romans." He then
inquired what kind of punishment that was; and being told, that the
practise was to strip the criminal naked, and scourge him to death
while his neck was fastened within a forked stake, he was so
terrified that he took up two daggers which he had brought with him,
and after feeling the points of both, put them up again, saying, "The
fatal hour is not yet come." One while, he begged of Sporus to begin
to wail and lament; another while, he entreated that one of them would
set him an example by killing himself; and then again, he condemned
his own want of resolution in these words: "I yet live to my shame and
disgrace: this is not becoming for Nero: it is not becoming. Thou
oughtest in such circumstances to have a good heart: Come then:
courage, man!" The horsemen who had received orders to bring him away
alive, were now approaching the house. As soon as he heard them
coming, he uttered with a trembling voice the following verse,
"The noise of swift-heel'd steeds assails my ears";
he drove a dagger into his throat, being assisted in the act by
Epaphroditus,[157] his secretary. A centurion bursting in just as he
was half-dead, and applying his cloak to the wound, pretending that he
was come to his assistance, he made no other reply but this, "'Tis too
late"; and "Is this your loyalty?" Immediately after pronouncing these
words, he expired, with his eyes fixt and starting out of his head, to
the terror of all who beheld him....
In stature he was a little below the common height; his skin was foul
and spotted; his hair inclined to yellow; his features were agreeable,
rather than handsome; his eyes gray and dull, his neck was thick, his
belly prominent, his legs very slender, his constitution sound. For,
tho excessively luxurious in his mode of living, he had, in the course
of fourteen years, only three fits of sickness; which were so slight,
that he neither forbore the use of wine, nor made any alteration in
his usual diet. In his dress, and the care of his person, he was so
careless, that he had his hair cut in rings, one above another; and
when in Achaia, he let it grow long behind; and he generally appeared
in public in the loose dress which he used at table, with a
handkerchief about his neck and without either a girdle or shoes.