WOMAN IN THE CENSUS.

A fresh blow has been struck at Woman's Rights! Gallant ladies, eager to

cope with figures, have been compelled to yield to numbers--inferior

numbers at that! Man, the minority, remains the popular tyrant of

population. Women, the majority, don't count, can't count for any

thing--even for women--at least in the sense of being Census-takers; for

General WALKER has decided that Assistant Marshals LAVINIA PURLEAR and

SARAH BURGOYNE (hear it, shades of NEY and BLUCHER!) are ineligible to

such a warlike title. General WALKER is not firm in his mind that

Marshals PURLEAR and BURGOYNE [would it be as well to say Marshal WALKER

and Generals PURLEAR and BURGOYNE?] are feminine. "These appear to be

the names of women," he says. Why might they not be the names of men? Is

there no right or reason in these days of domestic revolution for men to

name themselves LAVINIA and SARAH if they like it, and their wives like

it? And suppose LAVINIA and SARAH that ought to be, or might have been,

choose to call themselves MAHALALEEL and METHUSALEM--who's to prevent?

Why should not the Rev. Mr.---- style himself Miss NANCY if he pleases?

Why should not the Hon. Mr.---- rechristen himself BETTY if he has a

mind to? H'm! A pretty pass we are coming to if these women folks who

ask men's rights and take men's names won't lend us theirs! And alas,

alas, ye lasses! What if some-day ye do indeed abstract our census, and

marshal us into helpless minority. What if we have to disguise

ourselves, and shave our beards, and change our names even to get on the

police! Or will ye--ye bullying Syrens!--grow whiskers and wear

pantaloons, and put us in station-houses, and clear us out of the Census

altogether?

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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870 · 第 28 / 39 题