"LIVING IN."
Desire Ledwith went over to Leicester Place with Bel Bree, when she
returned there for the first needful sorting and packing and
removing. Bel could not go alone, to risk any meeting; to put
herself, voluntarily and unprotected in the way again. Miss Ledwith
took a carriage and called for her. In that manner they could bring
away nearly all. What remained could be sent for.
Miss Smalley possessed some movables of her own, though the
furnishings in her room had been mostly Mrs. Pimminy's. There were
some things of her aunt's that Bel would like, and which she had
asked leave to bring to Mrs. Scherman's.
The light, round table, with its old fashioned slender legs and claw
feet, its red cloth, and the books and little ornaments, Bel wanted
in her sleeping-room. "Because they were Aunt Blin's," she said,
"and nothing else would seem so pleasant. She should like to take
them with her wherever she went."
The two trunks--hers and Katy's--(Bel had Aunt Blin's great
flat-topped one now, with its cushion and flounce of Turkey red; and
Kate had speedily stitched up a cover for hers to match, of cloth
that Mrs. Scherman gave her) stood one each side the chimney,--in
the recesses. A red and white patchwork quilt, done in stars, Bel's
own work before she ever came to Boston, lay folded across the foot
of the bed, in patriotic contrast with the blue,--reversing the
colors in stars and stripes. Bel had found in the attic a discarded
stairway drugget, scarlet and black, of which, the centre was worn
to threads, but the bright border still remained; and this she had
asked for and sewed around the square of neutral tinted carpet, upon
whose middle the round table stood, covering its dullness with red
again, the color of the cloth. There was plenty of bordering left,
of which she pieced a foot-mat for the floor before the
dressing-glass, and in the open grate now lay a little unlighted
pile of kindlings and coals, as carefully placed behind well
blackened bars and a facing of paper, as that in the parlor below.
"It looks nice," Bel said to Mrs. Scherman, "and we don't expect to
light it, unless one of us is sick, or something."
"Light it whenever you wish for it," Mrs. Scherman had replied. "I
am perfectly willing to trust your reasonableness for that."
So on Sunday afternoons, or of a bitter cold morning, they had their
own little blaze to sit or dress by; and it made the difference of a
continual feeling of cheeriness and comfort to them, always possible
when not immediately actual; and of a bushel or two of coal,
perhaps, in the winter's supply of fuel.
"Where were the babies of a Sunday afternoon,--and how about the
offered tending?"
This was one more place for them also; a treat and a change to
Sinsie and Marmaduke, or a perfectly safe and sweet and comfortable
resource in tending Baby Karen, who would lie content on the soft
quilts by the half hour, feeling in the blind, ignorant way that
little babies certainly do, the novelty and rest.
The household, you see, was melting into one; the spirit of home
was above and below. It was home as much as wages, that these girls
had come for; and they expected to help make it. Not that they
parted with their own individual lives and interests, either; every
one must have things that are separate; it is the way human souls
and lives are made. It would have been so with daughters, or
sisters. But in a true living, it is the individual interests that
at once aggregate and specialize, it is a putting into the common
stock that which must be distinct and real that it may be put in at
all. It was not money and goods alone, that the early Christians had
in common.
Instead of a part of their house being foreign and
distasteful,--tolerated through necessity only, that the rest might
be ministered to,--there was a region in it, now, of new, extended
family pleasure. "It was as good as building out a conservatory, or
a billiard-room," Asenath said. "It was just so much more to enjoy."
There was a little old rocking-chair, railed round till it was
almost like a basket, with just a break in the front palings to sit
into. It had a soft down cushion, covered with a damask patterned
patch of wild and divaricating device; and its rockers were short,
giving a jerk and thud if you leaned to and fro in it, like the trot
an old nurse gives a child in an ordinary, four-legged,
impracticable seat. All the better for that; the rockers were not in
the way; and all Aunt Blin had wanted of it as a sewing chair, was
to tip conveniently, as she might wish to bend and reach, to pick up
scissors or spool, or draw to herself any of those surroundings of
part, pattern, or material, which are sure, at the moment one wants
them to be on the opposite side of the table.
Bel brought this away from Leicester Place, and had it in the
kitchen. Mrs. Scherman, then seeing that there remained for Kate
only the choice of the four wooden chairs, and pleased with the cosy
expression they were causing to pervade their precincts, suggested
their making space for a short, broad lounge that she would spare to
them from an upper room which was hardly ever used. It was an old
one that she had had sent from home among some other things that
were reminiscences, when her father and mother, the second year
after her marriage, had broken up their household in New York, and
resolved on a holiday, late in life, in Europe. It was a
comfortable, shabby old thing, that she had used to curl up on to
learn her German, with the black kitten in her lap, and the tip of
its tail for a pointer. She had always meant to cover it new, but
had never had time. There was a large gray travelling shawl folded
over it now, making extra padding for back and seat, and the thick
fringe fell below, a garnishing along the front.
"Let it be," said Asenath. "I don't think you'll set the soup-kettle
or the roasting-pan down on it; and you can always shake it out
fresh and make it comfortable. It was only getting full of dust
up-stairs. There's a square pillow in the trunk-room that you can
have too, and cover with something. A five minutes' level rest is
nice, between times, I know. I wonder I never thought of it before."
How would Bel or Kate have ever got a "five minutes' level rest,"
over their machine-driving at Fillmer & Bylles? Bel had said well,
that girls and women need to work under cover; in a _home_, where
they can "rest by snatches." A mere roof is not a cover; there may
be driving afield in a great warehouse, as well as out upon a
plantation.
The last touch and achievement was more of the dun-gray carpet,
like that in their bedroom, and more of the scarlet and black
stair-border, made into a rug, which was spread down when work was
over, and rolled up under the table when dinner was to dish, or a
wash was going on. They had been with Mrs. Scherman a month before
they ventured upon that asking.
When it was finished, Sin brought her husband down after tea one
night, to look at it.
"It is the most fascinating room in the house," she said.
There was a side gas-light over the white-topped table, burning
brightly. Upon the table were work-baskets, and a volume from the
Public Library. The lounge was just turned out from the wall a
little, towards it, and opposite stood the round rocking-chair.
Cheeps, in his cage at the farther window, was asleep in a yellow
ball, his head under his wing. Bel was hanging the last dish-towel
upon a little folding-horse in the chimney corner, and they could
hear Kate singing up-stairs to a gentle clatter of the dishes that
she was putting away from the dining-room use.
"It looks as a kitchen ought to," said Mr. Scherman. "As my
grandmother's used to look; as if all the house-comfort came from
it."
"It isn't a place to forbid children out of, is it?" asked Asenath.
"I should think the only condition would be their own best
behavior," returned her husband.
"They're almost always good down here," said Bel. "Children like to
be where things are doing. They always feel put away, out of the
good times, I think, in a nursery."
"My housekeeping is all turning round on a new pivot," said Sin to
Frank, after they were seated again up-stairs. "Don't take up the
'Skelligs' yet; I want to tell you. If I thought the pivot would
really _stay_, there are two or three more things I should do. And
one of them is,--I'd have the nursery--a day-nursery--down-stairs;
that is, if I could coax you into it."
"It seems the new pivot is two very large 'ifs,'" said Frank,
laughing. "And not much space to turn in, either. Would you take the
cellar, or build out? And if so, where?"
"I'd take the dining-room, Frank; and eat in the back parlor."
"I wish you would. I don't like dining-rooms. I was brought up to a
back parlor."
"You do? You don't? You were? Why, Frank, I thought you'd hate it,"
cried Asenath, pouring forth her exclamations all in a heap, and
coming round to lean upon his shoulder. "I wish I'd told you before!
Just think of those south dining-room windows that they'll have the
good of all the forenoon, and that all we do with is to shade them
down at dinner-time! And the horse-chestnut tree, and the
grape-vines, making it green and pleasant, by and by! And the saving
of going over the stairs, and the times one of the girls might help
me when I _couldn't_ ring her away up to my room; and the tending of
table, with baby only to be looked after in here. Why, I should sit
here, myself, mornings, always; and everything would be all together
and the up-stairs work,--it would be better than two nurse-girls to
have it so!"
"Then why not have it so right off? The more you turn on your pivot,
the smoother it gets, you know. And the more nicely you balance and
concentrate, the longer your machine will last."
Asenath lay awake late, and woke early, that night and the next
morning, "planning."
When Frank saw a certain wide, intent, shining, "don't-speak-to-me"
look in her eyes, he always knew that she was "planning." And he had
found that out of her plans almost always resulted some charming
novelty, at least, that gave one the feeling of beginning life over
again; if it were only the putting of his bureau on the other side
of the room, so that he started the wrong way for a few days,
whenever he wanted to get a clean collar; or the setting the
bedstead with side instead of head to the wall; issuing in
delightful bewilderments of mind, when wakened suddenly and asked to
find a match or turn up the dressing-room gas in the night, to meet
some emergency of the baby's.
This time the development was a very busy Friday forenoon; in which
the silver rubbing was omitted, and the dinner preparations put
off,--the man who came for "chores" detained for heavy lifting,--the
large dining-table turned up on edge and rolled into the back
parlor, the sideboard brought in and put in the place of a sofa,
which was wheeled to an obtuse angle with the fire-place,--nine
square yards of gray drugget, with a black Etruscan border, sent up
by Mr. Scherman from Lovejoy's, and tacked carefully down by seam
and stripe, under Asenath's personal direction; cradle,
rocking-horse, baby-house, tin carts and picture-books removed from
the nursery and arranged in the new quarters,--the children
themselves following back and forth untiringly with their
one-foot-foremost hop over the stairs, and their hands clasping the
rods of the balusters,--some little shabby treasure always hugged
in the spare arm, chairs and crickets, and the low table suited to
their baby-chairs, at which they played and ate, transferred also;
until Asenath stood with a sudden sadness in the deserted chamber,
reduced to the regular bedroom furnishings, and looking dead and
bleak with the little life gone out of it.
But the warm south sun was beaming full into the pretty room below,
where the small possessors of a whole new, beautiful world were
chattering and dancing with delight; and up here, by and by, the
western shine would come to meet them at their bedtime, and the new
moon and the star-twinkle would peep in upon their sleep.
With her own hands, Asenath made the room as fresh and nice as could
be; put little frilled covers over the pillows of the low bed, and
on the half-high bureau top; brought in and set upon the middle of
this last a slender vase from her own table, with a tea-rose in it,
and said to herself when all was done,--
"How sweet and still it will be for them to come up to, after all!
It _isn't_ nice for children to be put to sleep in the midst of the
whole day's muss!"
The final thing was done the next morning. The carpenter came and
put a little gate across the head of the short stairway which would
now only be used as required between play-room and kitchen; the back
stairway of the main house giving equal access on the other side to
the parlor dining-room. China closet and dumb waiter were luckily in
that angle, also.
A second little railed gate barred baby trespass into the halls. The
sparrows were caged again.
"What would you have done if they hadn't been?" asked Hazel
Ripwinkley, speaking of the china closet and dumb waiter happening
to be just as they were. She had come over one morning with Miss
Craydocke, for a nursery visit and to see the new arrangements.
"What should we have done if anything hadn't been?" asked Asenath,
in return. "Everything always has been, somehow, in my life. I don't
believe we have anything to do with the 'ifs' way back, do you, Miss
Hapsie? We couldn't stop short of the 'if' out of which we came into
the world,--or the world came out of darkness! I think that's the
very beauty of living."
"The very everlasting livingness," said Miss Hapsie. "We don't want
to see the strings by which the earths and moons are hung up; nor,
any more, the threads that hold our little daily possibilities."
Asenath had other visitors, sometimes, with whom it was not so easy
to strike the key-note of things.
Glossy Megilp and her mother had come home from Europe. They and the
Ledwiths were in apartments in one of the great "Babulous" hotels,
as Sin called them, with a mingling of idea and etymology.
"Good places enough," she said, "for the prologue and the epilogue
of life; but not for the blessed meanwhile; for the acting of all
the dear heart and home parts."
The two families had managed very well by taking two small "suites"
and making a common parlor; thus bestowing themselves in one room
less than they could possibly have done apart. They were very
comfortable and content, made economical breakfasts and teas
together, dined at the café, and had long forenoons in which to run
about and look in upon their friends.
Glossy had always "cultivated" Asenath Scherman for though that
young dame lived at present a very retired and domestic life, Miss
Megilp was quite aware that she _might_ come out, and in precisely
the right place, at any minute she chose; and meanwhile it was
exceedingly suitable to know her well in this same intimate
privilege of domesticity.
Glossy Megilp was very polite; but she did not believe in the new
order of things; and her eyelids and the corners of her mouth showed
it. Mrs. Megilp admired; thought it lovely for Asenath _just now_;
but of course not a thing to count upon, or to expect generally. In
short, they treated it all as a whim; a coincidence of whims.
Asenath, although she would not trouble herself about the "ifs away
back," had a spirit of looking forward which impelled her to argue
against and clear away prospective ones.
"Bad things have lasted long enough," she said; "I don't see why the
good ones should not, when once they have begun."
"They won't begin; one swallow never makes a summer. This has
happened to you, but it is absolutely exceptional; it will never be
pandemic," said Mrs. Megilp, who was fond of picking up little
knowing terms of speech, and delivering herself of them at her
earliest subsequent convenience.
"'Never' is the only really imposing word in the language," said
Asenath, innocently. "I don't believe either you or I quite
understand it. But I fancy everything begins with exceptions, and
happens in spots,--from the settling of a continent to the doing up
of back-hair in new fashions. I shouldn't wonder if it were an
excellent way to take life, to make it as exceptional as you can, in
all unexceptionable directions. To help to thicken up the good
spots till the world gets confluent with them. I suppose that is
what is meant by making one's mark in it, don't you?"
Mrs. Megilp headed about, as if in the turn the talk had taken she
suddenly found no thoroughfare; and asked Asenath if she had been to
hear Rubinstein.
Of course it was not in talk only, that--up-stairs or
down-stairs--the exceptional household found its difficulties. It
was not all pleasant arranging and contriving for an undeviating
"living happy ever after."
There were days now and then when the baby fretted, or lost her nap,
and somebody had to hold her nearly all the time; when the door-bell
rang as if with a continuous and concerted intent of malice. Stormy
Mondays happened when clothes would not dry, entailing Tuesdays and
Wednesdays and Thursdays of interrupted and irregular service
elsewhere.
If Asenath Scherman's real life had been anywhere but in her home
and with her children,--if it had consisted in being dressed in
train-skirt and panier, lace sleeves and bracelets, with hair in a
result of hour-long elaboration, at twelve o'clock; or of being out
making calls in high street toilet from that time until two; or if
her strength had had to be reserved for and repaired after evening
parties; if family care had been merely the constantly increasing
friction which the whole study of the art of living must be to
reduce and evade, that the real purpose and desire might sweep on
unimpeded,--she would soon have given up her experiment in despair.
Or if, on the other part, there had been a household below,
struggling continually to escape the necessity it was paid to
meet, that it might get to its own separate interests and
"privileges,"--if it had been utterly foreign and unsympathetic in
idea and perception, only watchful that no "hand's turn" should be
required of it beyond those set down in the bond,--resenting every
occurrence, however unavoidable, which changed or modified the day's
ordering,--there would speedily have come the old story of worry,
discontent, unreliance, disruption.
But Asenath's heart was with her little ones; she went back into her
own childhood with and for them, bringing out of it and living over
again all its bright, blessed little ways.
"She would be grown up again," she said, "by and by, when they
were."
She was keeping herself winsomely gay and fresh against the
time,--laying up treasure in the kingdom of all sweet harmonies
and divine intents, that need not be banished beyond the
grave,--although of that she never thought. It would come by
and by, for her reward.
She played with Sinsie in her baby-house; she did over again, with
her, in little, the things she was doing on not so very much larger
scale, for actual every day. She invented plays for Marmaduke which
kept the little man in him busy and satisfied. She collected,
eagerly, all treasures of small song and story and picture, to help
build the world of imagination into which all child-life must open
out.
As for Baby Karen, she was, for the most part, only manifest as one
of those little embodiments that are but given and grown out of such
loyal and happy motherhood. She was a real baby,--not a little
interloping animal. She was never nursed or tended in a hurry.
Babies blossom, as plants do, under the tender touch.
Kate Sencerbox, or Bel Bree, was glad to come into this nest-warm
pleasantness, when the mother must leave it for a while. It was not
an irksomeness flung by, like a tangled skein, for somebody else to
tug at and unravel; it was a joy in running order.
When the hard Monday came, or the baby had her little tribulations,
or it took a good tithe of the time to run and tell callers that
Mrs. Scherman was "very much engaged"--(why can't it be the fashion
to put those messages out upon the door-knob, or to tie it up
with--a silk duster, or a knot of tape?)--Kate or Bel would look one
at another and say, as they began with saying,--"Now, shut up!" It
was an understood thing that they were not to "fly out with
discouragements."
And nobody knows how many things would straighten themselves if that
could only be made the law of the land.
On Wednesday evenings, Mrs. Scherman always managed it that they
should both go to Desire Ledwith's, for the Read-and-Talk.
You may say Jerusalem is not taken yet, after all; there are plenty
of "hard places," where girls like Kate Sencerbox and Bel Bree would
not stay a week; there are hundreds of women, heads of houses, who
would not be bothered with so much superfluous intelligence,--with
refinements so nearly on a level with their own.
Granted: but it is the first steps that cost. Do you not think--do
you not _know_--that a real good, planted in the world,--in social
living,--_must_ spread, from point to point where the circumstance
is ready, where it is the "next thing?" If you do not believe this,
you do not practically believe in the kingdom ever coming at all.
There is a rotation of crops in living and in communities, as well
as in the order of vegetation of secret seeds that lie in the
earth's bosom.
We shall not always be rank with noisome weeds and thistles; here
and there, the better thought is swelling toward the germination;
the cotyledons of a fairer hope are rising through the mould.