IN WHICH I TAKE PART IN SOME LAWLESS EXPEDITIONS.
In his letter which offered us a home, uncle Bryan had stated, truly
enough, that he was a poor man. Although he purchased his stock in
very small quantities, he often had as much as he could do to pay his
monthly bills. I remember well a certain occasion when he was
seriously perplexed in this way. My mother, who had been attentively
observant of him during the day, said in the evening:
'You are troubled, Bryan.'
'I am short of money, Emma,' he replied; and he went on to say that he
had to pay Messrs. So-and-so and So-and-so to-morrow; and that his
last week's takings were two pounds less than he had reckoned upon.
How much short are you, Bryan?'
He adjusted his horn spectacles, and brought forward his account-book,
and his file of bills, and every farthing the till contained. In a few
minutes he had his trouble staring him in the face in black and white,
in the shape of a deficit of two pounds eighteen shillings--a serious
sum. My mother, with a grateful look in her eyes, produced the stone
money-box, in which he had said she might put by anything she was able
to save out of the money he gave her to keep house with. She shook it;
what was in it rattled merrily. It was a hard job to get the money
out, the slit in the box was so narrow; but it was managed at last by
means of the blade of a knife, and a little pile of copper and silver
lay on the table. I think the three of us seated round the table would
not make a bad picture; but then you could not put in my mother's
delicious laugh. She had saved more than three pounds. I could
scarcely tell whether uncle Bryan was sorry or pleased. He bit his
lips very hard, but said never a word; and, taking the exact sum he
required, put the balance back into the box.
The chief difficulty uncle Bryan had to contend with in keeping his
stock properly assorted was brown sugar. Indeed, brown sugar may be
said to have been the bane of his life; to me, it was a most hateful
commodity, and I often wished there was not such an article in the
world. Uncle Bryan had to pay ready money for sugar, and he could not
purchase at the warehouse less than a bag at the time--about two
hundredpounds weight, I believe. Sometimes he had not the money to go
to the sugar market with, and the stock on the shelves had dwindled
down almost to the last quarter of a pound. Then commenced a series of
dreadful expeditions which I remember with comical terror. One of the
first instructions given by uncle Bryan to my mother had been, never,
under any pretext, to serve even the smallest quantity of sugar to a
strange customer unless he or she purchased something else at the same
time. The reason for this was that there was no profit on sugar; it
was what was called a leading article in the trade, and by some
mysterious trade machinations, arising probably out of the fever of
competition, had come to be sold by the large grocers at exactly cost
price. The small grocers, of course, were compelled to follow in the
wake of the large ones; if they had not, their customers would have
deserted them. Not only, indeed, did the small grocers make no profit
on the sugar they sold, but, taking into consideration the draft
necessary to turn the scale ever so little when weighing out quarter
and half pounds, there was an absolute loss; even the paper in the
scale would not make up for it, for it cost as much per pound as the
sugar. Hence the necessity for not serving strangers with sugar by
itself, and hence it was that I not unnaturally came to look upon it
as a desperate crime for any stranger to attempt to purchase sugar
over uncle Bryan's counter without asking at the same time for a
proper quantity of tea or coffee, or some other article upon which
there was a profit. My feelings, then, can be imagined when uncle
Bryan (being short of sugar, and not having sufficient funds to
purchase a bag at the warehouse), bidding me carry a fair-sized market
basket, took me with him one dark night--and often afterwards on many
other dark nights--to purchase brown sugar, and nothing else, in
pounds, half pounds, and quarters. The plan of operation was as
follows: uncle Bryan, selecting a likely-looking grocer's shop (an
innocent-looking fly, he being the spider), would station me at some
distance from it, bidding me wait until he returned. Then he would
enter the shop boldly, and come out, with the air of one who resided
in the neighbourhood, holding in his hand a quarter or half pound of
feloniously-acquired moist. This he would deposit in the basket (which
had a cover to it, to hide our villainy), and we would wander to
another street, in which he pounced upon another grocer's shop, where
the operation would be repeated. Thus we would wander, often for two
or three miles, until the basket was filled with packages of sugar,
with which we would return stealthily, like burglars after the
successful accomplishment of daring and unlawful deeds. When the
basket was too heavy for me to carry, uncle Bryan carried it, and
would place me in a convenient spot--always at the corner of two
streets, so that in case of pursuit we could make a rapid
disappearance--with the basket on the ground. While thus stationed, I
have trembled at the very shadow of a policeman, and have often
wondered that we were not marched off to prison. Uncle Bryan was not
always successful. On occasions he would pause suddenly in the middle
of a street, and wheel sharply round. 'Can't go into that shop,' he
would say; 'was turned out of it the week before last;' or, 'They know
me there; swore at me when they served me the last time; mustn't show
my face there for another month;' or, with a laugh, 'Come away, Chris,
quick! That woman wanted to know what I meant by imposing on a poor
widow who was trying to get an honest living.' These remarks, of
themselves, would have been sufficient to convince me that we were
committing an offence against law and morality. At first I was a
passive accomplice in these unlawful operations, but in time I became
an active agent.
'Chris, my boy,' said uncle Bryan to me one night, in an insinuating
tone; he was out of spirits, having met with a number of continuous
failures; 'do you think you could buy a quarter of a pound in that
shop?'
'I'll try to, uncle,' I said, with a sinking heart, for I had long
anticipated the dreaded moment.
'Go into the shop in an offhand way, as if you were a regular
customer. I'll wait at the corner for you.'
Go into the shop in an offhand way! Why, if I had been the greatest
criminal in the world, I could not have been more impressed with a
sense of guilt. I showed it in my face when I stepped tremblingly to
the counter, and I was instantly detected by the shopkeeper.
'Do you want anything else besides sugar?' he demanded sternly.
'N-no, sir,' I managed to answer.
'Do you know, you young ruffian, that there's a loss on sugar!' I knew
it well enough--too well to convict myself by answering. 'What do you
say to two ounces of our best mixed at two-and-eight,' he then
inquired, with satirical inquisitiveness, 'or half a pound of our
genuine mocha at one-and-four?'
As I did not know what to say except, 'Guilty, if you please, sir!'
and as I suspected him of an intention to leap over the counter and
seize me by the throat, I fled precipitately, with my heart in my
mouth, and the next minute was running away, with uncle Bryan at my
heels, as fast as my legs would carry me. When we were well out of
danger's reach, uncle Bryan indulged in the only genuine laugh I had
heard from him; but he soon became serious, and we resumed our
unlawful journey. This first attempt was not the last; I tried again
and again; but practice, which makes most things perfect, never made
me an adept in the art. Dark nights were always chosen for our
expeditions, and sometimes so many streets and thoroughfares were
closed to uncle Bryan, that he was at his wits' end which way to turn
to fill the basket.
Things went on with us in the same way until I was fourteen years of
age. Long before this, I had learned all my schoolmaster had to teach
me, and I was beginning to be distressed by the thought that I was
doing a wrong thing by remaining idle. It was time that I set to work,
and tried to help those who had been so good to me. I spoke about it,
and uncle Bryan approved in a few curt words.
'I'm afraid he's not strong enough,' said my mother.
'Nonsense!' exclaimed uncle Bryan; and I supported him.
'I want to work,' I said; 'I should like to.'
'A good trade would be the best thing,' said my mother.
Weeks passed, and I was still idle. My mother had been busy enough in
the mean while, but her efforts were unsuccessful. She learnt that a
good trade for me meant a good premium from my friends; and that of
course was out of the question. It would have been a hard matter to
scrape together even so small a sum as five pounds, and the lowest
premium asked was far above that amount. I thought it behoved me to
look for myself; and I began to stroll about the streets, and search
in the shop windows for some such announcement as, 'Wanted an
apprentice to a good trade: no premium required; liberal wages;'
followed by a description which fitted me exactly as the sort of lad
which would be preferred. But no such announcement greeted my wistful
gaze. I saw bills, 'Wanted this,' Wanted that,' and now and then I
mustered sufficient courage to go in and offer myself; but at the end
of a month's experience I could come to no other conclusion than that
I was fit for neither this nor that. My manner was against me; I was
shy and timid, and sometimes could scarcely find words suitable for my
application; but I had that kind of courage which lies in
perseverance, and my aspirations were not of an exalted nature; I was
willing to accept anything in the shape of work. I know now that I
applied for many situations for which I was totally unfitted, but I
was not conscious of it at the time; and I know also that for a few
days I was absurdly and supremely reckless in my estimate of my
fitness for the employers who made their wants public. It was during
this time that I found myself standing before one of those exceedingly
small offices which squeeze themselves by the force of impudence and
ingenuity into the very midst of really pretentious buildings which
frown them down, but cannot take the impudence out of them. In the
front of this office was a large black board, on which were wafered,
in the neatest of round-hand, the most amazing temptations to persons
in search of situations. The first temptation which assailed me was,
'Wanted a Gardener for a Gentleman's Family. Must have an
Unexceptionable Moral Character. Apply within.' The doubt I had with
reference to this announcement was not whether I would do for a
gardener (this was during my reckless days, remember), but whether my
moral character was unexceptionable. I had never before been called to
answer a declaration of this description, and now that it was put to
me in bold round-hand, I was stung by the share I took in the lawless
sugar expeditions. Not being able to resolve the doubt as to my moral
character (although sorely tempted by the exigences of my position to
give myself the benefit of it), I laid aside the gardener for future
consideration. The next temptation was, 'Wanted a Cook. High Church.'
I discarded the cook. Reckless as I was, it exceeded the limits of my
boldness to declare myself a High-Church Cook. I was not even aware
that I had ever tasted food cooked in that way; the very flavour was a
mystery to me. The next was, 'Wanted a Groom, Smart and Active. Seven
Stone. Apply within.' I debated for some time over seven stone before
I decided that it must apply to the weight of the groom. A stone was
fourteen pounds. Seven fourteens was ninety-eight (I did the sum on a
dead wall with a bit of brick I picked up in the road.) That I was
perfectly ignorant of the duties of a groom did not affect me in the
slightest degree; my only trouble was, did I weigh ninety-eight
pounds? I immediately resolved to ascertain. I strolled into a
by-street, and discovering a mysterious-looking recess wherein was
exhibited a small pile of coals and a large pair of scales to weigh
them in, I considered it a likely place to solve the problem. I had
two halfpennies in my pocket, and I thought I might bargain to be
weighed for one of them. So I walked into the recess, and tapping upon
the scales with a halfpenny, as a proof that I meant business, waited
for the result. The result came in the shape of a waddling woman with
a coaly face and an immense bonnet, who said, 'Now then?' Timidly I
replied, 'I want to be weighed, ma'am; I'll give you a halfpenny.' I
was not prepared for the suddenness of what immediately followed.
Without the slightest warning the woman lifted me in her arms with
great ease, and laid me across the scales, which were shaped like a
scuttle, with great difficulty, although I tried honestly to suit
myself to the peculiarity of the case. Presently she threw me off as
if I were a sack of coals, and tossing the weights aside, one after
another, as if they were feathers, said, 'There you are!' Her words
did not enlighten me. '_Am_ I seven stone, ma'am?' I asked, as I
handed her the coin. 'About,' was her reply. I retired, dubious, in a
very grimy and gritty condition, and walking to the little office
where the black board was, I boldly entered, and asked the young man
behind the counter (there was only room for him and me) if he wanted a
groom. _His_ reply was, 'Half a crown.' This was perplexing, and I
asked again, and received a similar answer. I soon understood that I
should have to pay the sum down before I could be accommodated with
particulars, and as a halfpenny was the whole of my wealth, I was
compelled to retire, much disheartened.
However, I was successful at length. I obtained a situation as
errand-boy, sweeper, and whatnot, at a wood-engraver's, the wages
being three shillings a week to commence with. How delighted I was
when I told my mother, and with what pride I brought home my first
week's wages, and placed them in her hand! In the duties of my new
position, and in endeavouring, not unsuccessfully, to pick up a
knowledge of the business, time passed rapidly. My steady attention to
everything that was set me to do gradually attracted the notice of my
employer, and he encouraged me in my efforts to raise myself. I was
fond of cleanliness for its own sake, and my mother's chief pleasure
was to keep my clothes neat and properly mended. I can see now the
value of the difference between my appearance and that of other boys
of my own age in the same position of life as myself, and I can more
fully appreciate the beauty of a mother's love when it is deep and
abiding--as my mother's love was for me.
And here I must say a word, lest I should be misunderstood. Some
kindly-hearted readers may suppose that my life and its surrounding
circumstances call for pity and commiseration. I declare that they are
mistaken, and that I was perfectly happy, contented in the present,
hopeful in the future. What more could I desire? Poor as our home was,
it was decent and comfortable; the anxieties which invaded it were
not, I apprehend, of a more bitter nature than the anxieties which
reign in the houses of really well-to-do and wealthy people. Well, I
had a home which contented and satisfied me; and dearer, holier,
purer, than anything else in life there was shed upon me a love which
brightened my days and sweetened my labour. Life was opening out to me
its most delightful pages. Already had I learned to love books for the
good that was in them; I was also learning to draw, and every hour's
leisure was an hour of profitable enjoyment. I began to see things,
not with the eyes of a soured and discontented mind, but with the eyes
of a mind which had been, almost unconsciously, trained to learn that
sorrow and adversity may bring forth much for which we should be truly
and sincerely grateful, and which, but for these trials, might be
hidden from us. And all this was due to the influence of Home, and of
the love which life's hard trials had strengthened. Sweet indeed are
the uses of adversity. But for it, the milk of human kindness would
taste like brackish water.