CHAPTER XIII.

THE room is duly obscured and the white sheet attached to the wall;

the children are seated, hushed, and awe-stricken. And Kenelm is

placed next to Lily.

The tritest things in our mortal experience are among the most

mysterious. There is more mystery in the growth of a blade of grass

than there is in the wizard's mirror or the feats of a spirit medium.

Most of us have known the attraction that draws one human being to

another, and makes it so exquisite a happiness to sit quiet and mute

by another's side; which stills for the moment the busiest thoughts in

our brain, the most turbulent desires in our heart, and renders us but

conscious of a present ineffable bliss. Most of us have known that.

But who has ever been satisfied with any metaphysical account of its

why or wherefore? We can but say it is love, and love at that earlier

section of its history which has not yet escaped from romance; but by

what process that other person has become singled out of the whole

universe to attain such special power over one is a problem that,

though many have attempted to solve it, has never attained to

solution. In the dim light of the room Kenelm could only distinguish

the outlines of Lily's delicate face, but at each new surprise in the

show, the face intuitively turned to his, and once, when the terrible

image of a sheeted ghost, pursuing a guilty man, passed along the

wall, she drew closer to him in her childish fright, and by an

involuntary innocent movement laid her hand on his. He detained it

tenderly, but, alas! it was withdrawn the next moment; the ghost was

succeeded by a couple of dancing dogs. And Lily's ready laugh--partly

at the dogs, partly at her own previous alarm--vexed Kenelm's ear. He

wished there had been a succession of ghosts, each more appalling than

the last.

The entertainment was over, and after a slight refreshment of cakes

and wine-and-water the party broke up; the children visitors went away

attended by servant-maids who had come for them. Mrs. Cameron and

Lily were to walk home on foot.

"It is a lovely night, Mrs. Cameron," said Mr. Emlyn, "and I will

attend you to your gate."

"Permit me also," said Kenelm.

"Ay," said the vicar, "it is your own way to Cromwell Lodge."

The path led them through the churchyard as the nearest approach to

the brook-side. The moonbeams shimmered through the yew-trees and

rested on the old tomb; playing, as it were, round the flowers which

Lily's hand had that day dropped upon its stone. She was walking

beside Kenelm, the elder two a few paces in front.

"How silly I was," said she, "to be so frightened at the false ghost!

I don't think a real one would frighten me, at least if seen here, in

this loving moonlight, and on God's ground!"

"Ghosts, were they permitted to appear except in a magic lantern,

could not harm the innocent. And I wonder why the idea of their

apparition should always have been associated with such phantasies of

horror, especially by sinless children, who have the least reason to

dread them."

"Oh, that is true," cried Lily; "but even when we are grown up there

must be times in which we should so long to see a ghost, and feel what

a comfort, what a joy it would be."

"I understand you. If some one very dear to us had vanished from our

life; if we felt the anguish of the separation so intensely as to

efface the thought that life, as you said so well, 'never dies;' well,

yes, then I can conceive that the mourner would yearn to have a

glimpse of the vanished one, were it but to ask the sole and only

question he could desire to put, 'Art thou happy? May I hope that we

shall meet again, never to part,--never?'"

Kenelm's voice trembled as he spoke, tears stood in his eyes. A

melancholy--vague, unaccountable, overpowering--passed across his

heart, as the shadow of some dark-winged bird passes over a quiet

stream.

"You have never yet felt this?" asked Lily doubtingly, in a soft

voice, full of tender pity, stopping short and looking into his face.

"I? No. I have never yet lost one whom I so loved and so yearned to

see again. I was but thinking that such losses may befall us all ere

we too vanish out of sight."

"Lily!" called forth Mrs. Cameron, halting at the gate of the

burial-ground.

"Yes, auntie?"

"Mr. Emlyn wants to know how far you have got in 'Numa Pompilius.'

Come and answer for yourself."

"Oh, those tiresome grown-up people!" whispered Lily, petulantly, to

Kenelm. "I do like Mr. Emlyn; he is one of the very best of men. But

still he is grown up, and his 'Numa Pompilius' is so stupid."

"My first French lesson-book. No, it is not stupid. Read on. It has

hints of the prettiest fairy tale I know, and of the fairy in especial

who bewitched my fancies as a boy."

By this time they had gained the gate of the burial-ground.

"What fairy tale? what fairy?" asked Lily, speaking quickly.

"She was a fairy, though in heathen language she is called a

nymph,--Egeria. She was the link between men and gods to him she

loved; she belongs to the race of gods. True, she, too, may vanish,

but she can never die."

"Well, Miss Lily," said the vicar, "and how far in the book I lent

you,--'Numa Pompilius.'"

"Ask me this day next week."

"I will; but mind you are to translate as you go on. I must see the

translation."

"Very well. I will do my best," answered Lily meekly. Lily now

walked by the vicar's side, and Kenelm by Mrs. Cameron's, till they

reached Grasmere.

"I will go on with you to the bridge, Mr. Chillingly," said the vicar,

when the ladies had disappeared within their garden. "We had little

time to look over my books, and, by the by, I hope you at least took

the Juvenal."

"No, Mr. Emlyn; who can quit your house with an inclination for

satire? I must come some morning and select a volume from those works

which give pleasant views of life and bequeath favourable impressions

of mankind. Your wife, with whom I have had an interesting

conversation, upon the principles of aesthetical philosophy--"

"My wife! Charlotte! She knows nothing about aesthetical

philosophy."

"She calls it by another name, but she understands it well enough to

illustrate the principles by example. She tells me that labour and

duty are so taken up by you--

'In den heitern Regionen

Wo die reinen Formen wohnen,'

that they become joy and beauty,--is it so?"

"I am sure that Charlotte never said anything half so poetical. But,

in plain words, the days pass with me very happily. I should be

ungrateful if I were not happy. Heaven has bestowed on me so many

sources of love,--wife, children, books, and the calling which, when

one quits one's own threshold, carries love along with it into the

world beyond; a small world in itself,--only a parish,--but then my

calling links it with infinity."

"I see; it is from the sources of love that you draw the supplies for

happiness."

"Surely; without love one may be good, but one could scarcely be

happy. No one can dream of a heaven except as the abode of love.

What writer is it who says, 'How well the human heart was understood

by him who first called God by the name of Father'?"

"I do not remember, but it is beautifully said. You evidently do not

subscribe to the arguments in Decimus Roach's 'Approach to the

Angels.'"

"Ah, Mr. Chillingly! your words teach me how lacerated a man's

happiness may be if he does not keep the claws of vanity closely

pared. I actually feel a keen pang when you speak to me of that

eloquent panegyric on celibacy, ignorant that the only thing I ever

published which I fancied was not without esteem by intellectual

readers is a Reply to 'The Approach to the Angels,'--a youthful book,

written in the first year of my marriage. But it obtained success: I

have just revised the tenth edition of it."

"That is the book I will select from your library. You will be

pleased to hear that Mr. Roach, whom I saw at Oxford a few days ago,

recants his opinions, and, at the age of fifty, is about to be

married; he begs me to add, 'not for his own personal satisfaction.'"

"Going to be married!--Decimus Roach! I thought my Reply would

convince him at last."

"I shall look to your Reply to remove some lingering doubts in my own

mind."

"Doubts in favour of celibacy?"

"Well, if not for laymen, perhaps for a priesthood."

"The most forcible part of my Reply is on that head: read it

attentively. I think that, of all sections of mankind, the clergy are

those to whom, not only for their own sakes, but for the sake of the

community, marriage should be most commended. Why, sir," continued

the vicar, warming up into oratorical enthusiasm, "are you not aware

that there are no homes in England from which men who have served and

adorned their country have issued forth in such prodigal numbers as

those of the clergy of our Church? What other class can produce a

list so crowded with eminent names as we can boast in the sons we have

reared and sent forth into the world? How many statesmen, soldiers,

sailors, lawyers, physicians, authors, men of science, have been the

sons of us village pastors? Naturally: for with us they receive

careful education; they acquire of necessity the simple tastes and

disciplined habits which lead to industry and perseverance; and, for

the most part, they carry with them throughout life a purer moral

code, a more systematic reverence for things and thoughts religious,

associated with their earliest images of affection and respect, than

can be expected from the sons of laymen whose parents are wholly

temporal and worldly. Sir, I maintain that this is a cogent argument,

to be considered well by the nation, not only in favour of a married

clergy,--for, on that score, a million of Roaches could not convert

public opinion in this country,--but in favour of the Church, the

Established Church, which has been so fertile a nursery of illustrious

laymen; and I have often thought that one main and undetected cause of

the lower tone of morality, public and private, of the greater

corruption of manners, of the more prevalent scorn of religion which

we see, for instance, in a country so civilized as France, is, that

its clergy can train no sons to carry into the contests of earth the

steadfast belief in accountability to Heaven."

"I thank you with a full heart," said Kenelm. "I shall ponder well

over all that you have so earnestly said. I am already disposed to

give up all lingering crotchets as to a bachelor clergy; but, as a

layman, I fear that I shall never attain to the purified philanthropy

of Mr. Decimus Roach, and, if ever I do marry, it will be very much

for my personal satisfaction."

Mr. Emlyn laughed good-humouredly, and, as they had now reached the

bridge, shook hands with Kenelm, and walked homewards, along the

brook-side and through the burial-ground, with the alert step and the

uplifted head of a man who has joy in life and admits of no fear in

death.

Kenelm Chillingly — Volume 06 · 第 13 / 17 章