The author of this book has met in the world so many people possessed by
a fanatic passion for a knowledge of the mean time, for watches with a
second hand, and for exactness in the details of their existence, that
he has considered this Meditation too necessary for the tranquillity of
a great number of husbands, to be omitted. It would have been cruel to
leave men, who are possessed with the passion for learning the hour of
the day, without a compass whereby to estimate the last variations in
the matrimonial zodiac, and to calculate the precise moment when the
sign of the Minotaur appears on the horizon. The knowledge of conjugal
time would require a whole book for its exposition, so fine and delicate
are the observations required by the task. The master admits that his
extreme youth has not permitted him as yet to note and verify more than
a few symptoms; but he feels a just pride, on his arrival at the end of
his difficult enterprise, from the consciousness that he is leaving to
his successors a new field of research; and that in a matter apparently
so trite, not only was there much to be said, but also very many points
are found remaining which may yet be brought into the clear light of
observation. He therefore presents here without order or connection the
rough outlines which he has so far been able to execute, in the hope
that later he may have leisure to co-ordinate them and to arrange
them in a complete system. If he has been so far kept back in the
accomplishment of a task of supreme national importance, he believes,
he may say, without incurring the charge of vanity, that he has here
indicated the natural division of those symptoms. They are necessarily
of two kinds: the unicorns and the bicorns. The unicorn Minotaur is the
least mischievous. The two culprits confine themselves to a platonic
love, in which their passion, at least, leaves no visible traces among
posterity; while the bicorn Minotaur is unhappiness with all its fruits.
We have marked with an asterisk the symptoms which seem to concern the
latter kind.