ERA. I think, Sir, that you are the doctor to whom somebody went to
speak in my name.
APO. No, Sir. I am not the doctor; such an honour does not belong to
me. I am only an unworthy apothecary; at your service.
ERA. Is the doctor at home, then.
APO. Yes; he is in there, trying to get rid quickly of some patients.
I will tell him that you are here.
ERA. No; you need not disturb him; I will wait till he has done. I
have to entrust to his care a certain relation of mine he was told
about today. He is attacked with a sort of madness that we should
like to see cured before we marry him to anyone.
APO. I know; I know all about it. I was there when he was told of this
affair. Upon my word, Sir; upon my word, you could not apply to a more
skilful doctor. He is a man who understands medicine thoroughly, as
well as I do my A B C;[8] and who, were you to die for it, would not
abate one iota of the rules of the ancients. Yes, he always follows
the high-road--the high-road, Sir, and doesn't spend his time finding
out mares' nests. For all the gold in the world he would not cure
anybody with other medicines than those prescribed by the faculty.
ERA. He is quite right. A patient should not wish to be cured unless
the faculty consents to it.
APO. It is not because we are great friends that I speak so of him;
but it is a pleasure to be his patient, and I had rather die by his
medicines than be cured with those of another. For, whatever may
happen, we know for certain that things are always in due order; and
should we die under his care, our heirs have nothing to reproach us
with.
ERA. A great comfort to a dead man.
APO. Certainly; it is pleasant to have died according to rules.
Moreover, he is not one of those doctors who let a disease off. He is
an expeditious man--expeditious, Sir, who likes to clear off his
patients; and when they are to die, the thing is done in no time.
ERA. There is, to be sure, nothing like going through the business
quickly.
APO. Indeed, what is the use of haggling over the matter, and beating
so long about the bush? One should know offhand the long and short of
an illness.
ERA. You are quite right.
APO. Why, he did me the honour of taking care of three of my children;
they died in less than four days, whereas with another they would have
lingered for more than three months.
ERA. It is a blessing to have friends like these.
APO. Decidedly. I have still two children left, of whom he takes care
as if they were his own; he attends them, and physics them as he
pleases, without my interfering in the least; and very frequently on
my return from the city, I am quite surprised to find that they have
been bled or purged by his direction.
ERA. This is kind care indeed!
APO. Here he is, here he is; here he is coming.