OSWALD. [Smiles sadly.] Yes; what do you think of that? Of course I
assured him that such a thing was out of the question. But do you think
he gave in? No, he stuck to it; and it was only when I produced your
letters and translated the passages relating to father--
MRS. ALVING. But then--?
OSWALD. Then of course he had to admit that he was on the wrong track;
and so I learned the truth--the incomprehensible truth! I ought not to
have taken part with my comrades in that lighthearted, glorious life of
theirs. It had been too much for my strength. So I had brought it upon
myself!
MRS. ALVING. Oswald! No, no; do not believe it!
OSWALD. No other explanation was possible, he said. That's the awful
part of it. Incurably ruined for life--by my own heedlessness! All that
I meant to have done in the world--I never dare think of it again--I'm
not able to think of it. Oh! if I could only live over again, and undo
all I have done! [He buries his face in the sofa.]
MRS. ALVING. [Wrings her hands and walks, in silent struggle, backwards
and forwards.]
OSWALD. [After a while, looks up and remains resting upon his elbow.] If
it had only been something inherited--something one wasn't responsible
for! But this! To have thrown away so shamefully, thoughtlessly,
recklessly, one's own happiness, one's own health, everything in the
world--one's future, one's very life--!
MRS. ALVING. No, no, my dear, darling boy; this is impossible! [Bends
over him.] Things are not so desperate as you think.
OSWALD. Oh, you don't know--[Springs up.] And then, mother, to cause
you all this sorrow! Many a time I have almost wished and hoped that at
bottom you didn't care so very much about me.
MRS. ALVING. I, Oswald? My only boy! You are all I have in the world!
The only thing I care about!
OSWALD. [Seizes both her hands and kisses them.] Yes, yes, I see it.
When I'm at home, I see it, of course; and that's almost the hardest
part for me.--But now you know the whole story and now we won't talk any
more about it to-day. I daren't think of it for long together. [Goes up
the room.] Get me something to drink, mother.
MRS. ALVING. To drink? What do you want to drink now?
OSWALD. Oh, anything you like. You have some cold punch in the house.