The New K.G.
Early in June had died the Marquis of Mount Fidgett. In all England
there was no older family than that of the Fichy Fidgetts, whose
baronial castle of Fichy Fellows is still kept up, the glory of
archaeologists and the charm of tourists. Some people declare it to
be the most perfect castle residence in the country. It is admitted
to have been completed in the time of Edward VI, and is thought to
have been commenced in the days of Edward I. It has always belonged
to the Fichy Fidgett family, who with a persistence that is becoming
rarer every day, has clung to every acre that it ever owned, and has
added acre to acre in every age. The consequence has been that the
existing Marquis of Mount Fidgett has always been possessed of great
territorial influence, and has been flattered, cajoled, and revered
by one Prime Minister after another. Now the late Marquis had been,
as was the custom with the Fichy Fidgetts, a man of pleasure. If the
truth may be spoken openly, it should be admitted that he had been
a man of sin. The duty of keeping together the family property he
had performed with a perfect zeal. It had always been acknowledged
on behalf of the existing Marquis, that in whatever manner he might
spend his money, however base might be the gullies into which his
wealth descended, he never spent more than he had to spend. Perhaps
there was but little praise in this, as he could hardly have
got beyond his enormous income unless he had thrown it away on
race-courses and roulette tables. But it had long been remarked of
the Mount Fidgett marquises that they were too wise to gamble. The
family had not been an honour to the country, but had nevertheless
been honoured by the country. The man who had just died had perhaps
been as selfish and as sensual a brute as had ever disgraced
humanity;--but nevertheless he had been a Knight of the Garter. He
had been possessed of considerable parliamentary interest, and the
Prime Minister of the day had not dared not to make him a Knight of
the Garter. All the Marquises of Mount Fidgett had for many years
past been Knights of the Garter. On the last occasion a good deal had
been said about it. A feeling had even then begun to prevail that
the highest personal honour in the gift of the Crown should not be
bestowed upon a man whose whole life was a disgrace, and who did
indeed seem to deserve every punishment which human or divine wrath
could inflict. He had a large family, but they were all illegitimate.
Wives generally he liked, but of his own wife he very soon broke
the heart. Of all the companies with which he consorted he was the
admitted king, but his subjects could do no man any honour. The
Castle of Fichy Fellows was visited by the world at large, but no
man or woman with a character to lose went into any house really
inhabited by the Marquis. And yet he had become a Knight of the
Garter, and was therefore, presumably, one of those noble Englishmen
to whom the majesty of the day was willing to confide the honour,
and glory, and safety of the Crown. There were many who disliked
this. That a base reprobate should become a Marquis and a peer of
Parliament was in accordance with the constitution of the country.
Marquises and peers are not as a rule reprobates, and the misfortune
was one which could not be avoided. He might have ill-used his own
wife and other wives' husbands without special remark, had he not
been made a Knight of the Garter. The Minister of the day, however,
had known the value of the man's support, and, being thick-skinned,
had lived through the reproaches uttered without much damage to
himself. Now the wicked Marquis was dead, and it was the privilege
and the duty of the Duke of Omnium to select another Knight.
There was a good deal said about it at the time. There was a
rumour,--no doubt a false rumour,--that the Crown insisted in this
instance on dictating a choice to the Duke of Omnium. But even were
it so, the Duke could not have been very much aggrieved, as the
choice dictated was supposed to be that of himself. The late Duke
had been a Knight, and when he had died, it was thought that his
successor would succeed also to the ribbon. The new Duke had been at
that time in the Cabinet, and had remained there, but had accepted
an office inferior in rank to that which he had formerly filled.
The whole history of these things has been written, and may be read
by the curious. The Duchess, newly a duchess then and very keen in
reference to her husband's rank, had instigated him to demand the
ribbon as his right. This he had not only declined to do, but had
gone out of the way to say that he thought it should be bestowed
elsewhere. It had been bestowed elsewhere, and there had been a
very general feeling that he had been passed over because his easy
temperament in such matters had been seen and utilised. Now, whether
the Crown interfered or not,--a matter on which no one short of
a writer of newspaper articles dares to make a suggestion till
time shall have made mellow the doings of sovereigns and their
ministers,--the suggestion was made. The Duke of St. Bungay ventured
to say to his friend that no other selection was possible.
"Recommend her Majesty to give it to myself!" said the Prime
Minister.
"You will find it to be her Majesty's wish. It has been very common.
Sir Robert Walpole had it."
"I am not Sir Robert Walpole." The Duke named other examples of Prime
Ministers who had been gartered by themselves. But our Prime Minister
declared it to be out of the question. No honour of that description
should be conferred upon him as long as he held his present position.
The old Duke was much in earnest, and there was a great deal said on
the subject,--but at last it became clear, not only to him, but to
the members of the Cabinet generally, and then to the outside world,
that the Prime Minister would not consent to accept the vacant
honour.
For nearly a month after this the question subsided. A Minister is
not bound to bestow a Garter the day after it becomes vacant. There
are other Knights to guard the throne, and one may be spared for
a short interval. But during that interval many eyes were turned
towards the stall in St. George's Chapel. A good thing should be
given away like a clap of thunder if envy, hatred, and malice are
to be avoided. A broad blue ribbon across the chest is of all
decorations the most becoming, or, at any rate, the most desired. And
there was, I fear, an impression on the minds of some men that the
Duke in such matters was weak and might be persuaded. Then there came
to him an application in the form of a letter from the new Marquis
of Mount Fidgett,--a man whom he had never seen, and of whom he had
never heard. The new Marquis had hitherto resided in Italy, and
men only knew of him that he was odious to his uncle. But he had
inherited all the Fichy Fidgett estates, and was now possessed of
immense wealth and great honour. He ventured, he said, to represent
to the Prime Minister that for generations past the Marquises of
Mount Fidgett had been honoured by the Garter. His political status
in the country was exactly that enjoyed by his late uncle; but he
intended that his political career should be very different. He was
quite prepared to support the Coalition. "What is he that he should
expect to be made a Knight of the Garter?" said our Duke to the old
Duke.
"He is the Marquis of Mount Fidgett, and next to yourself, perhaps,
the richest peer of Great Britain."
"Have riches anything to do with it?"
"Something certainly. You would not name a pauper peer."
"Yes;--if he was a man whose career had been highly honourable to
the country. Such a man, of course, could not be a pauper, but I do
not think his want of wealth should stand in the way of his being
honoured by the Garter."
"Wealth, rank, and territorial influence have been generally thought
to have something to do with it."
"And character nothing!"
"My dear Duke, I have not said so."
"Something very much like it, my friend, if you advocate the claim of
the Marquis of Mount Fidgett. Did you approve of the selection of the
late Marquis?"
"I was in the Cabinet at the time, and will therefore say nothing
against it. But I have never heard anything against this man's
character."
"Nor in favour of it. To my thinking he has as much claim, and no
more, as that man who just opened the door. He was never seen in the
Lower House."
"Surely that cannot signify."
"You think, then, that he should have it?"
"You know what I think," said the elder statesman thoughtfully.
"In my opinion there is no doubt that you would best consult the
honour of the country by allowing her Majesty to bestow this act of
grace upon a subject who has deserved so well from her Majesty as
yourself."
"It is quite impossible."
"It seems to me," said the Duke, not appearing to notice the refusal
of his friend, "that in this peculiar position you should allow
yourself to be persuaded to lay aside your own feeling. No man of
high character is desirous of securing to himself decorations which
he may bestow upon others."
"Just so."
"But here the decoration bestowed upon the chief whom we all follow,
would confer a wider honour upon many than it could do if given to
any one else."
"The same may be said of any Prime Minister."
"Not so. A commoner, without high permanent rank or large fortune, is
not lowered in the world's esteem by not being of the Order. You will
permit me to say--that a Duke of Omnium has not reached that position
which he ought to enjoy unless he be a Knight of the Garter." It
must be borne in mind that the old Duke, who used this argument, had
himself worn the ribbon for the last thirty years. "But if--"
"Well;--well."
"But if you are,--I must call it obstinate."
"I am obstinate in that respect."
"Then," said the Duke of St. Bungay, "I should recommend her Majesty
to give it to the Marquis."
"Never," said the Prime Minister, with very unaccustomed energy. "I
will never sanction the payment of such a price for services which
should never be bought or sold."
"It would give no offence."
"That is not enough, my friend. Here is a man of whom I only know
that he has bought a great many marble statues. He has done nothing
for his country, and nothing for his sovereign."
"If you are determined to look to what you call desert alone, I would
name Lord Drummond." The Prime Minister frowned and looked unhappy.
It was quite true that Lord Drummond had contradicted him, and that
he had felt the injury grievously. "Lord Drummond has been very true
to us."
"Yes;--true to us! What is that?"
"He is in every respect a man of character, and well looked upon
in the country. There would be some enmity and a good deal of
envy--which might be avoided by either of the courses I have
proposed; but those courses you will not take. I take it for granted
that you are anxious to secure the support of those who generally act
with Lord Drummond."
"I don't know that I am." The old Duke shrugged his shoulders. "What
I mean is, that I do not think that we ought to pay an increased
price for their support. His lordship is very well as the Head of
an Office; but he is not nearly so great a man as my friend Lord
Cantrip."
"Cantrip would not join us. There is no evil in politics so great
as that of seeming to buy the men who will not come without buying.
These rewards are fairly given for political support."
"I had not, in truth, thought of Lord Cantrip."
"He does not expect it any more than my butler."
"I only named him as having a claim stronger than any that Lord
Drummond can put forward. I have a man in my mind to whom I think
such an honour is fairly due. What do you say to Lord Earlybird?"
The old Duke opened his mouth and lifted up his hands in unaffected
surprise.
The Earl of Earlybird was an old man of a very peculiar character. He
had never opened his mouth in the House of Lords and had never sat
in the House of Commons. The political world knew him not at all. He
had a house in town, but very rarely lived there. Early Park, in the
parish of Bird, had been his residence since he first came to the
title forty years ago, and had been the scene of all his labours.
He was a nobleman possessed of a moderate fortune, and, as men said
of him, of a moderate intellect. He had married early in life and
was blessed with a large family. But he had certainly not been an
idle man. For nearly half a century he had devoted himself to the
improvement of the labouring classes, especially in reference to
their abodes and education, and had gradually, without any desire on
his own part, worked himself up into public notice. He was not an
eloquent man, but he would take the chair at meeting after meeting,
and sit with admirable patience for long hours to hear the eloquence
of others. He was a man very simple in his tastes, and had brought up
his family to follow his habits. He had therefore been able to do
munificent things with moderate means, and in the long course of
years had failed in hiding his munificence from the public. Lord
Earlybird, till after middle life, had not been much considered, but
gradually there had grown up a feeling that there were not very many
better men in the country. He was a fat, bald-headed old man, who was
always pulling his spectacles on and off, nearly blind, very awkward,
and altogether indifferent to appearance. Probably he had no more
idea of the Garter in his own mind than he had of a Cardinal's hat.
But he had grown into fame, and had not escaped the notice of the
Prime Minister.
"Do you know anything against Lord Earlybird?" asked the Prime
Minister.
"Certainly nothing against him, Duke."
"Nor anything in his favour?"
"I know him very well,--I think I may say intimately. There isn't a
better man breathing."
"An honour to the peerage!" said the Prime Minister.
"An honour to humanity rather," said the other, "as being of all men
the least selfish and most philanthropical."
"What more can be said of a man?"
"But according to my view he is not the sort of person whom one would
wish to see made a Knight of the Garter. If he had the ribbon he
would never wear it."
"The honour surely does not consist in its outward sign. I am
entitled to wear some kind of coronet, but I do not walk about with
it on my head. He is a man of a great heart and of many virtues.
Surely the country, and her Majesty on behalf of the country, should
delight to honour such a man."
"I really doubt whether you look at the matter in the right light,"
said the ancient statesman, who was in truth frightened at what was
being proposed. "You must not be angry with me if I speak plainly."
"My friend, I do not think that it is within your power to make me
angry."
"Well then,--I will get you for a moment to listen to my view on
the matter. There are certain great prizes in the gift of the Crown
and of the Ministers of the Crown,--the greatest of which are now
traditionally at the disposal of the Prime Minister. These are always
given to party friends. I may perhaps agree with you that party
support should not be looked to alone. Let us acknowledge that
character and services should be taken into account. But the very
theory of our Government will be overset by a reversal of the rule
which I have attempted to describe. You will offend all your own
friends, and only incur the ridicule of your opponents. It is no
doubt desirable that the high seats of the country should be filled
by men of both parties. I would not wish to see every Lord-Lieutenant
of a county a Whig." In his enthusiasm the old Duke went back to his
old phraseology. "But I know that my opponents when their turn comes
will appoint their friends to the Lieutenancies, and that so the
balance will be maintained. If you or I appoint their friends, they
won't appoint ours. Lord Earlybird's proxy has been in the hands of
the Conservative Leader of the House of Lords ever since he succeeded
his father." Then the old man paused, but his friend waited to listen
whether the lecture were finished before he spoke, and the Duke of
St. Bungay continued. "And, moreover, though Lord Earlybird is a very
good man,--so much so that many of us may well envy him,--he is not
just the man fitted for this destination. A Knight of the Garter
should be a man prone to show himself, a public man, one whose work
in the country has brought him face to face with his fellows. There
is an aptness, a propriety, a fitness in these things which one can
understand perhaps better than explain."
"Those fitnesses and aptnesses change, I think, from day to day.
There was a time when a knight should be a fighting man."
"That has gone by."
"And the aptnesses and fitnesses in accordance with which the
sovereign of the day was induced to grace with the Garter such a man
as the late Marquis of Mount Fidgett have, I hope, gone by. You will
admit that?"
"There is no such man proposed."
"And other fitnesses and aptnesses will go by, till the time will
come when the man to be selected as Lieutenant of a county will be
the man whose selection will be most beneficial to the county, and
Knights of the Garter will be chosen for their real virtues."
"I think you are Quixotic. A Prime Minister is of all men bound to
follow the traditions of his country, or, when he leaves them, to
leave them with very gradual steps."
"And if he break that law and throw over all that thraldom;--what
then?"
"He will lose the confidence which has made him what he is."
"It is well that I know the penalty. It is hardly heavy enough to
enforce strict obedience. As for the matter in dispute, it had better
stand over yet for a few days." When the Prime Minister said this the
old Duke knew very well that he intended to have his own way.
And so it was. A week passed by, and then the younger Duke wrote
to the elder Duke saying that he had given to the matter all the
consideration in his power, and that he had at last resolved to
recommend her Majesty to bestow the ribbon on Lord Earlybird. He
would not, however, take any step for a few days so that his friend
might have an opportunity of making further remonstrance if he
pleased. No further remonstrance was made, and Lord Earlybird, much
to his own amazement, was nominated to the vacant Garter.
The appointment was one certainly not popular with any of the Prime
Minister's friends. With some, such as Lord Drummond, it indicated
a determination on the part of the Duke to declare his freedom from
all those bonds which had hitherto been binding on the Heads of
Government. Had the Duke selected himself, certainly no offence would
have been given. Had the Marquis of Mount Fidgett been the happy
man, excuses would have been made. But it was unpardonable to Lord
Drummond that he should have been passed over and that the Garter
should have been given to Lord Earlybird. To the poor old Duke the
offence was of a different nature. He had intended to use a very
strong word when he told his friend that his proposed conduct would
be Quixotic. The Duke of Omnium would surely know that the Duke of
St. Bungay could not support a Quixotic Prime Minister. And yet the
younger Duke, the Telemachus of the last two years,--after hearing
that word,--had rebelled against his Mentor, and had obstinately
adhered to his Quixotism! The greed of power had fallen upon the
man,--so said the dear old Duke to himself,--and the man's fall was
certain. Alas, alas; had he been allowed to go before the poison had
entered his veins, how much less would have been his suffering!