Of all the men the world has seen
Since Time his rounds began,
There’s one I pity every day—
Earth’s first and foremost man;
Just think of all the fun he missed
By failing to enjoy
The dear delights of youthtime,
For—he never was a boy.
He never stubbed his naked toe
Against a root or stone,
He never with a pin-hook fished
For minnows all alone;
He never sought the bumblebee
Among the daisies coy,
Nor felt its business end,
Because—he never was a boy.
He never hookey played, nor tied
A bright and shining pail,
Down in the alley all alone,
To a trusting poodle’s tail.
And when he home from swimmin’ came,
His pleasure to destroy
No slipper interfered,
Because—he never was a boy.
He might remember splendid times
In Eden’s bowers—yet
He never acted _Romeo_
To a six-year _Juliet_.
He never sent a valentine
Intended to annoy
His good but maiden aunt,
Because—he never was a boy.
He never cut a kite string, no,
Nor hid an Easter egg;
He never spoiled his pantaloons
A playin’ mumbley-peg.
He never from the attic stole
A ‘coon-hunt to enjoy,
Nor found the “old man” waiting,
For—he never was a boy.
I pity him, why should I not?
I even drop a tear;
He never knew how much he missed;
He never will, I fear.
And always when those dear old days
My memories employ,
I pity him, earth’s only man
Who—never was a boy.
_Pittsburgh Dispatch._
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