An American visiting Dublin told some startling stories about the height
of some of the New York buildings. An Irishman who was listening stood
it as long as he could, and then queried:
“Ye haven’t seen our newest hotel, have ye?”
The American thought not.
“Well,” said the Irishman, “it’s so tall that we had to put the two top
stories on hinges.”
“What for?” asked the American.
“So we could let ’em down till the moon went by,” said Pat.—_Exchange._
A piece ov satire, tew be beneficial, should be so rendered that every
man who reads it or hears it shall say to himself, “That iz just,
bekause it hits every boddy but me.”—=Josh Billings.=
? ? ? WHY ? ? ?
=WHY= was the sandwich so called?
=BECAUSE= the Earl of Sandwich (1718—1792) on one occasion, not wishing
to leave his place at the gaming-table, called a waiter and ordered some
slices of bread with ham between them to be brought to him, so that he
could go on playing without interruption. To this combination his
friends gave his name.
* * * * *
=WHY= is a certain kind of paper called “foolscap”?
=BECAUSE= Oliver Cromwell substituted a fool’s cap and bells in
water-mark for the royal arms granted by Charles I with certain
privileges in manufacturing paper. When the “Rump” Parliament was
prorogued this water-mark was removed, but the paper of the size of the
Parliamentary Journal, seventeen by fourteen inches, still bears the
name.
* * * * *
=WHY= are elephants afraid of mice?
=BECAUSE= mice strongly resemble a little animal known as the chacana,
which feeds on a small berry especially liked by the elephant. Chacanas
live in the ground after the manner of prairie-dogs, under the bushes,
and are often trampled upon by elephants. In their fright the little
animals run up the tubes of the elephants’ trunks, their long, sharp
claws catch in the flesh, and they cannot be ejected. An agonizing death
is almost invariably the consequence to the elephant.
* * * * *
=WHY= is noon the traditional and fashionable hour for wedding
ceremonies?
=BECAUSE= the hour became the customary one in England many years since,
for the reason that the bridegroom could not be relied upon to be sober
any later in the day than twelve o’clock. It was naturally desirable
that he should be responsible for his promises, and unless he was in a
state of perfect sobriety this could not be. Hence the precaution of a
noonday wedding.
* * * * *
=WHY= is the first period of married life known as “the honeymoon”?
=BECAUSE= of an ancient custom in the northern nations of Europe. The
bride and bridegroom, for a month after the wedding, drank a wine made
from honey as their principal form of nourishment. It was called the
honey-month or moon.
* * * * *
=WHY= is the fee given to a servant called a “tip”?
=BECAUSE= the letters which compose the word are the initials of “to
insure promptness,” an inscription on the money boxes which used to be
in every tavern. Into these the traveler dropped his coin, and the
staff, as a whole, shared the benefit. This custom still prevails in
some places, but in the United States we give the fee to the particular
individual who serves us.
* * * * *
=WHY= do we say “Uncle Sam” when referring to the United States?
=BECAUSE= the initials “U. S.” were once believed by a few workmen to
refer to “Uncle Sam” Wilson who was government inspector, at Troy, in
1812. When the war began, Elbert Anderson, a New York contractor, bought
a large quantity of beef, pork, and pickles for the army. These were
inspected by Wilson and marked E. A., U. S., meaning Elbert Anderson,
for the United States. After discovering that the letters did not apply
to Wilson, the men still kept up the “Uncle Sam” as a joke. These same
men carried it into the army and from there it got into print. From that
time the term has been used for the United States.
* * * * *
=WHY= do we speak of the “near” and “off” horse?
=BECAUSE= in the days when the driver walked beside the horses his
position was always at the left, with his right arm next the team.
Therefore, in driving a pair, the horse on the left was nearer than the
one on the right. The “near” horse is always the one on the left.
* * * * *
=WHY= do the stars twinkle?
=BECAUSE= their light passes through variously heated and moving
currents of air which act as a refractor. Much twinkling foretells bad
weather, because it denotes that these aerial currents are more
disturbed than usual.