Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well
tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant
of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation. Let your heart feel for the
afflictions and distresses of every one, and let your hand give in
proportion to your purse; remembering always the estimation of the
widow’s mite, that it is not every one that asketh that deserveth
charity; all, however, are worthy of the inquiry, or the deserving may
suffer. Do not conceive that fine clothes make fine men, any more than
fine feathers make fine birds. A plain, genteel dress is more admired,
and obtains more credit, than lace and embroidery, in the eyes of the
judicious and sensible.—_From a Letter to His Nephew, Bushrod
Washington, 1783._