Oh, the Roman was a rogue,
He erat, was, you bettum;
He ran his automobilis
And smoked his cigarettum;
He wore a diamond studibus
And elegant cravatum,
A maxima cum laude shirt
And such a stylish hattum.
He loved the luscious hic-haec-hoc,
And bet on games and equi:
At times he won: at others, though,
He got it in the nequi.
He winked (quousque tandem?)
At puellas on the Forum,
And sometimes even made
Those goo-goo oculorum!
He frequently was seen
At combats gladiatorial,
And ate enough to feed
Ten boarders at Memorial:
He often went on sprees,
And said on starting homus,
"Hic labor, opus est,
Oh, where's my hic-haec-domus?"
Although he lived in Rome--
Of all the arts the middle--
He was (excuse the phrase)
A horrid individ'l;
Ah, what a different thing
Was the homo (dative homini)
Of far away B.C.
From us of Anno Domini!
--_Harvard Lampoon_
_ICH BIN DEIN_
The _Journal of Education_ commends this ingenious poem, written
in seven languages--English, French, German, Greek, Latin, Spanish,
and Italian--as one of the best specimens of Macaronic verse in
existence, and worthy of preservation by all collectors.
_In tempus_ old a hero lived,
_Qui_ loved _puellas deux_;
He no _pouvait pas_ quite to say
Which one _amabat mieux_.
_Dit-il lui-meme un beau matin_,
"_Non possum_ both _avoir_,
_Sed si_ address Amanda Ann,
Then Kate _y yo_ have war.
Amanda _habet argent_ coin,
_Sed_ Kate has _aureas_ curls;
_Et_ both _sunt_ very _agathæ_
_Et_ quite _formosæ_ girls."
_Enfin_ the _joven anthropos_,
_Philoun_ the _duo_ maids,
Resolved _proponere ad_ Kate
_Devant cet_ evening's shades,
_Procedens_ then to Kate's _domo_,
_Il trouve_ Amanda there,
_Kai_ quite forgot his late resolves,
Both _sunt_ so goodly fair,
_Sed_ smiling on the new _tapis_,
Between _puellas_ twain,
_Coepit_ to tell _suo_ love _a_ Kate
_Dans un poetique_ strain.
_Mais_, glancing ever _et_ anon
At fair Amanda's eyes,
_Illæ non possunt dicere_
_Pro_ which he meant his sighs.
Each _virgo_ heard the demi-vow,
_Con_ cheeks as _rouge_ as wine,
_Ed_ offering, each, a milk-white hand,
Both whispered, "_Ich bin dein._"
_MALUM OPUS_
Prope ripam fluvii solus
A senex silently sat;
Super capitum ecce his wig,
Et wig super, ecce his hat.
Blew Zephyrus alte, acerbus,
Dum elderly gentleman sat;
Et a capite took up quite torve
Et in rivum projecit his hat.
Tunc soft maledixit the old man,
Tunc stooped from the bank where he sat,
Et cum scipio poked in the water,
Conatus servare his hat.
Blew Zephyrus alte, acerbus,
The moment it saw him at that;
Et whisked his novum scratch wig
In flumen, along with his hat.
Ab imo pectore damnavit,
In coeruleus eye dolor sat;
Tunc despairingly threw in his cane,
Nare cum his wig and his hat.
_L'Envoi_
Contra bonos mores, don't swear
It est wicked you know (verbum sat)
Si this tale habet no other moral
Mehercle! You're gratus to that.
--James A. Morgan
_FELIS_
A cat sedebat on our fence
As laeta as could be;
Her vox surgebat to the skies,
Canebat merrily.
My clamor was of no avail,
Tho' clare did I cry.
Conspexit me with mild reproof,
And winked her alter eye.
Quite vainly ieci boots, a lamp,
Some bottles and a book;
Ergo, I seized my pistol, et
My aim cum cura took.
I had six shots, dixi, "Ye gods,
May I that felis kill!"
Quamquam I took six of her lives
The other three sang still.
The felis sang with major vim,
Though man's aim was true,
Conatus sum, putare quid
In tonitru I'd do.
A scheme advenit in my head
Scivi, 'twould make her wince--
I sang! Et then the hostis fled
Non eam vidi since.
--_Tennessee University Magazine_
_AMANTIS RES ADVERSAE_
A homo ibat, one dark night
Puellas visitare
Et mansit there so very late
Ut illi constet cura.
Pueri walking by the house
Saw caput in fenestra,
Et sunt morati for a while
To see quis erat in there.
Soon caput turned its nasum round
In viam puerorum;
Agnoscunt there the pedagogue,
Oh! maximum pudorem!
Progressus puer to the door
Cum magna quietate,
Et turned the key to lock him in
Moratus satis ante.
Tum pedagogue arose to go
Est feeling hunky-dore:
Sed non potest to get out
Nam key's outside the fore.
Ascendit sweetheart now the stairs
Cum festinato pede,
Et roused puellas from their sleep
Sed habent non the door key.
Tum excitavit dominum
By her tumultuous voce
Insanus currit to the door
Et vidit puellam.
"Furenti place," the master roared,
"Why spoil you thus my somnum?
Exite from the other door
Si rogues have locked the front one."
Puella tristis hung her head
And took her lover's manum,
Et cite from the other door
His caput est impulsum.
Cum magno gradu redit domum
Retrorsum umquam peeping,
Et never ausus est again
Vexare people's sleeping.
_PUER EX JERSEY_
Puer ex Jersey
Iens ad school;
Vidit in meadow,
Infestum mule.
Ille approaches
O magnus sorrow!
Puer it skyward
Funus TOMORROW.
_Moral_
Qui vidit a thing
Non ei well-known
Est bene for him
Id relinqui alone.
--_Anonymous_
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