At the beginning of the New Year Wyndham hastened back to town, and was
soon at his post striving to adapt himself to the outlook of his life.
He had tried to steel himself to confess the miserable truth to Alice,
to lay it before her with a fidelity as unswerving as Nature, merciless
both to him and to her. But her letters continued to shake him, and he
had not the strength to face the inevitable wreckage. To break was to
punish her: to continue was only to punish himself. His course was
obvious: he must play the game _a outrance_. Yet he sought temporarily
to escape the actuality by immersing himself desperately in routine.
So, for the present, his days were mapped out simply enough. He was up
early, for the winter hours of light were precious. Braced for a great
effort, he found himself drawing on unexpected stores of vitality; he
flung himself on his masterpiece like a Viking into the melee of battle,
and had the reward of splendid conquest. This sense of power, this
subjugation of his material, made his old foiled strivings and strivings
incomprehensible, incredible!
Meanwhile the domesticity of the house at the corner invaded his studio,
and surrounded him with comforts and attentions that but threw up the
more vividly the issues he sought to preclude. But he kept stifling down
his rebellion; struggling to accept the position unreservedly, though
sick with the sense of hypocrisy. He laughingly surrendered to Alice a
duplicate key of the studio in token of their good-fellowship, and she
and her mother devoted themselves to the loving task of smoothing his
path, letting no point that might ruffle his inspiration elude their
vigilance. Their whole life and activities seemed to converge to the
studio. Mrs. Robinson kept discreetly in the background, though her
brain planned and her tongue discussed, and she often went joyfully
a-purchasing. Shortly before one o'clock Alice would march across,
attended by a servant carrying his lunch, of temptations compact,
imprisoned in shining caskets; and by the time Wyndham was ready to sit
down, his table would be nicely set out, and the temptations spread to
his view.
Many precious minutes were thus saved for him, and his train of ideas
was luxuriously unbroken. This tact and thoughtfulness was
characteristic of all the devotion that was cherished on him. Wyndham
deeply appreciated its quality, and despite the pressure--with
sending-in day looming barely three months ahead--gratitude no less than
conscience drove him to acknowledgement, to contrive that the artist
should not entirely swallow up Miss Robinson's future husband; though
her expectations were considerately of the slightest. Thus his negative
policy was answering effectively. With the passage of the days, he found
himself sliding into a lethargy of acquiescence in the position. The
mere physical fatigues of his labours dulled the unrest within him, and
his brain fermented incessantly with the problems of masses and values
which his great canvas still pressed upon him. He was glad he found it
possible at last to be accepting all outer things so calmly. He told
himself repeatedly: "Your revolt is over. You have decided there can be
no break. So be as decent and affectionate as you can."
Thus his attentions seemed to her gallant and charming, to hold their
touch of poetry. Flowers and bonbons, a book of verses or a novel were
frequent tributes: after his work was done they went into town
occasionally to a concert or a theatre, and if his conversation was of
the theme with which his mind was most saturated, she did not regard
that as otherwise than a compliment.
And so these winter days sped, and January was running its course. And
out of this not unsuccessful routine there came to him the sense that
his life was very full and singularly complete. Of perturbation or
unforeseen excitement there was never a thrill. The only moment that
held a flutter for him was when Mr. Shanner descended on the Robinsons,
grey, decorous, and austere; congratulated the pair with an ashen smile,
in the honeyed accents that had charmed so many diplomatists; and
bestowed solemn formal attentions on the engaged lady throughout the
evening.
The whole plot of his drama had in verity been revealed, was Wyndham's
frequent reflection; and with that final comedy-scene the curtain had
seemed to fall, and he knew all that there was to know.
But his own wretched money affairs were soon to give him food for
pondering. Alice's portrait had gone home in a splendid frame to find a
temporary resting-place before being tossed to the Academy; and Mr.
Robinson, though seeing him face to face almost daily, delicately sent
his cheque by post. Wyndham grasped it with relief: but it proved merely
the illumination that accentuated the darkness. For overdue rent and
many other calls made it melt away with terrifying swiftness; and
Wyndham had indebted himself to the family jeweller for presents to Miss
Robinson. Impecuniosity approached him again with no vague menace;
kicked him brutally out of his ostrich-like attitude. Nevertheless he
shrank in terror from the definite thought of pressing forward the
marriage; though, in the clear light of these latter self-communings,
money was the sole reason why he had sought it. Not only did he fear
that life of simulation with a sickness immeasurable: but he foresaw
endless money humiliations at the very outset.
He would fulfil his promise honourably, whatever the spiritual cost of
it! But he could not face money humiliations in the eyes of his
inferiors! A thousand times "no"! He must trust, despite all, to his own
strength and performance!--he would do brilliantly with his pictures in
the spring!--he would follow up the success and conquer London! He waved
aside all his past disasters: he saw his good star in the ascendant,
shining--he fixed his eyes on it fanatically. It was an irony of ironies
that, after his great surrender, his pride should still flame up
unconquered. Before the moral tragedy of love yoked to mockery, he might
bow his head in resignation; but Miss Robinson's fortune loomed up as a
ridiculous and contemptible complication in a situation already nigh
impossible.
The metaphor of the vulture was often back in his mind now! The heap of
carrion!--he had stooped for the sake of it, and it was now even more
loathsome than his former morbid perception of it. His poverty seemed
suddenly unbearable. In the past he had endured it. Now, for the first
time, he was ashamed of it.
So he spoke to the Robinsons of a six months' engagement or
thereabouts--which, to their ideas, was reputable and in order; and then
felt he had time before him to fling down the gauntlet to fortune again.
But in estimating his resources he had counted without his new allies.
Alice whispered into her father's ears her conviction that he might
easily influence commissions for her _fiance_; and, after thinking about
it, Mr. Robinson felt he would like to have a try.
A rich, powerful Insurance Corporation had voted a portrait of its
retiring president for the adornment of its board-room. Mr. Robinson set
to work astutely, and the commission came to Wyndham. Item, three
hundred guineas. But, before this new portrait had progressed very far,
Wyndham had fascinated his subject--a tall, white-bearded merchant
prince who sat to him with mysterious insignia, and resplendent chains
and emblems. "A marvellous young fellow," he confided to Mr. Robinson.
"I must really congratulate you on him--it's a treat to be in his
society. And gifted! That great picture of Hyde Park Corner is worthy of
Raphael." And for the pleasure of his company, and out of admiration for
his talent, this bluff, good-natured president had at once arranged for
paintings of himself and his wife for his own dining-room.
He generously and spontaneously made the fee seven hundred guineas.
"There are two of us this time, and why should I get off cheaper than
the Insurance Company?" he asked genially; in a spirit rare enough in
the twentieth century, but nothing out of the way in the days of the
grand patrons. "Besides, you're worth it," he roared out bluffly. "And
the privilege of going down to posterity in your society can hardly be
appraised at all."
Wyndham relished the compliment, though wincing inwardly at the thought
that the wind that blew him good came always from the same quarter: yet
in view of other important sitters he began to think of a more
accessible studio.
"Why not a house with the studio?" suggested the Robinsons. "You could
move in now, and furnish the rooms at your leisure, so as to have them
ready for the marriage."
Wyndham fell in with the idea. He thought the locality had better be
Chelsea, somewhere near the Embankment; a long distance from Hampstead,
it was true, but an ideal situation for an artist. Somehow the sense of
the distance, as he lingered on it, was not unacceptable. Alice
flinched. "We could still look after you," she murmured bravely.
"Besides, I could easily cut to and fro in a hansom," put in Wyndham.
So off the old pair started at once on the quest, drawing some renewal
of zestful youth from its absorbing interest. One day they reported a
stroke of fortune; they had come upon the ideal thing. The rent was not
impossible, and the tenant could have the option of purchasing the
freehold. The next evening they took Wyndham to see it--a charming
artist's house in Tite Street, with a broad frontage and a luxurious and
unconventional interior. On the entrance floor--an unusual hall and
three fine rooms. Above--a great studio and another excellent room.
Below were the domestic regions with many household refinements, and
bedrooms for the servants. Wyndham and Alice were enchanted.
Mr. Robinson was anxious to purchase this property outright as his
promised wedding-gift; but Wyndham, again shrinking inwardly,
diplomatically deferred the project. So the lease was signed, and the
removal at once effected. Wyndham's belongings were swiftly installed on
the upper floor of the house, at the loss of only a single day to him;
and, leaving him to his labours, the others, in the enjoyment of their
unlimited leisure, saw that the hall and stairway were made presentable
for callers.
But at this point Wyndham came to a dead stop with his labour-canvas, to
which he had of late devoted his mornings entirely, keeping the
afternoons for his sitters. He saw that it was imperative he should now
make some fresh sketches on the spot. But to regain his exact vision he
must have access to the old window in Grosvenor Place. Yet the very
thought of the house and the memory of those former visits had a
strange shattering effect on him. And some warning voice rose sternly,
bade him not renew these old associations.
He reasoned the matter out, and hesitation seemed absurd. For the sake
of his picture, it was essential he should occupy a certain point of
view. Though he had let the acquaintanceship lapse entirely ever since
Lady Betty's marriage, access to that point of view was no doubt a
simple matter. A mere letter of request, and the old earl would readily
give his permission. This time he would probably come and go without
seeing anybody at all.
Wyndham sat down to write the letter, the interest of the composition
ousting for the time his irrational misgivings. He recalled himself to
the earl's recollection, explained that the picture for which he had
made the former sketches had unavoidably been put aside; but now that he
was at last able to take it up again he desired to make some fresh
sketches, and begged the use of his old post of vantage for a few
mornings. He concluded with the hope that the earl was in the best of
health, and sent his respects and remembrances to his daughter, should
the earl be seeing her just then.
It was the merest courtesy on his part to show he had not forgotten Lady
Betty! After all, their lives were so entirely alien now!
He addressed and stamped the letter; then his strong instinct against
the whole proceeding reasserted itself. He rose and paced about. The
warning voice said, "Keep away from Grosvenor Place. No good will come
of it." "But it's absurd," he said aloud. "The thing's an absolute
necessity--I can't throw over the picture at this stage. My whole
artistic future depends upon it. What harm can possibly arise from my
going there? Lady Betty? Why, she's a matron by now! And probably not
even in England. And if she were, what is she to me now? And at any rate
I am certainly nothing to her. If I stumbled up against her the very
first morning I went there, we should still be far as the poles asunder.
She was certainly a wonderful girl, and I of course fell headlong in
love with her. Put any impressionable fellow with poetic ideals in the
way of a lovely, clever girl and I suppose he's bound to feel cut up
when somebody else marries her. But it's all as dead as King John now.
I'll go there and do my work and wind up with a letter of thanks."
He put on his hat and coat, and took up the letter. "Don't go there,"
repeated the voice. "No good will come of it."
"Rubbish!" he said. "I can't chuck up the picture. It's all right."
He went downstairs and out into Tite Street, a little confused by all
this current of doubt and reasoning, and by no means absolutely sure of
himself. But, annoyed at realising this, he began to go forward
sturdily, and flung the letter into the first pillar-box he
encountered.