Away out in the wilds of Wyoming Territory, in the fast growing city of
Laramie, dwells one of the most noted funny men of to-day. Bill Nye is
a modest looking name, and at first sight looks like a _nom de plume_;
yet Bill Nye is the “only and original” of that name. He is a young
man, and has been in the journalistic profession only three or four
years. He began work on the Laramie City Boomerang, and is at present
the managing editor of that publication. The Boomerang is a newspaper
of metropolitan proportions, and issues both daily and weekly editions.
Bill Nye has, during the past two years, written a larger quantity
and a better quality of first-class, genuine humor, than any other
funny man in America. He is widely quoted, and has issued one book
entitled, Bill Nye and his Mule Boomerang. This volume was issued in
Chicago in 1881, and had a tremendous sale. Like others of his class,
Nye is modest, and prefers to relate to the awaiting world his own
misfortunes, in his own peculiar style. He writes as follows:
“MY DEAR CLEMENS: I herein make a few brief statements, which you are
at liberty to enlarge upon in such a way as to give my life that odor
of holy calm and unblemished smirchlessness which will sound well in
history.
“I was born on the 25th day of August, A. D., 1850, somewhere in the
State of Maine. I do not remember where. It was either along the
Atlantic seaboard, or on the Kennebec river, and the exact spot has
escaped my memory. As soon as I could walk I left Maine and came west,
where I have been for about thirty years.
“Looking over my whole eventful career, I see nothing to regret,
except the fact that I was born in Maine. Probably the State of Maine
regrets it as much as I do.”
“My early childhood was spent in acquiring knowledge relative to the
habits and movements of the bumble-bee and the water-melon.
“There is nothing in particular, perhaps, to distinguish my youth from
that of other eminent men. I did not study the Greek grammar by the
light of a pine knot when I was a child. I did not think about it.
Had I supposed that I would ever rise to the proud pinnacle of fame,
I might have filled my system full of deceased languages, but as it
was, I thought I was in luck to acquire sufficient education to last
me from one meal to another.
“I did not do any smart things as a child. It remained for later
years to bring out the latent genius and digestive strength which I
now possess. I did not graduate first in my class. I did not rise to
distinction in two weeks. I did not dazzle the civilized world with
my sterling ability. I just plugged along from day to day, and when I
had an afternoon to myself it did not occur to me that I might read
Horace, or Cicero, or the dictionary. I fooled away those priceless
moments carrying water to the elephant, so that I could acquire
information at the circus.
“My journalistic career has been short, but full of interest. Though
only covering a space of three or four years, it has been rich in
amusement and gory personal encounter.
“The West is well known as the home of fearless and deadly journalism.
It brings out all there is in a man and throws him upon his own
resources. It also throws him down stairs if he is not constantly on
his guard.
“I am an attorney by profession and a newspaper man by force of
circumstances. I am married and have been for five years. I do not
regret this step.
“I am six feet high, of commanding appearance, and would be selected
in any audience as a man who would not rob an overland train while
there was anyone looking.
“I am in robust health, with the exception of a corn, which I
inherited from the old stock of Nyes, who first invaded the free lunch
counters of Skouhegan, Maine.
“To any one who is curious to investigate my career while in the West,
I would say that I cheerfully refer them to any vigilance committee of
this section.
“If I can throw any more light on this delicate topic, or should the
public care for a fuller diagnosis, I am always at your service.