One of the richest things in the book is “A. Linkin’s Proclamashin
Concerning Majer Jack Downing’s Book.” This excellent “take-off” on a
President’s proclamation is dated Washington, July 15, 1864, and is as
follows:
“Whereas, my friend, Majer Jack Downing, of the Downingville millisha,
has issued a Book of Letters, containing his views on public affairs,
the war, etc., etc.
“Now, therefore, I do hereby issue this, my Proclamashin, enjoyning
upon every loyal, as well as disloyal, citizen, includin’ loyal
Leegers, Abolitionists, Republikans, War Dimmycrats, Copperheads,
Clay Banks, Charcoals, &c., to buy this book and to read the same,
under penalty of the confiscation of all their property, includin’
niggers of every descripshin. Furthermore, all officers under me,
whether civil, military, or otherwise, are hereby ordered, under
penalty of court marshal, to purchase the said book and read it.
This order applies to all Postmasters and their Clerks (who are
also ordered to assist in the sale of the book), to all Custom
House officials, Provo-Marshalls, to all Tax Collectors, Assessors,
Recruteing Officers, Runners, Brokers, Bounty Jumpers, and espeshully
to all Government Swindlers, Contractors, Defaulters, &c., to all
Furrin Ambassadors, Ministers, Penitentiaries, male and female, &c.
&c. Further more, Generals Grant, Sherman and all other Generals,
including Ginneral Banks, will see to it that the Majer’s letters are
widely circulated in the armies, as the menny good stories of mine,
as well as of the Majer’s, in the book, will keep the sojers in good
sperits.
“Further more, if eny disloyal editer shall presume to say enything
against this book, or advise eny person not to sell or circulate the
same, or aid or abet them in so doing, he shall at once be arrested
and his paper stopped.
“Further, if any person, in order to avoid the penalties mentioned
above, shall borrow said book, he shall, if it be proved, be fined
$1000 in gold. If there be no proof, he shall be sent to Fort
Lafayette.
“Finally every person perchasing a copy of the Majer’s Letter shall be
exempt from the draft. All others are at once to be seized and sent to
the front.
“Done, in this, my city of Washington, in the fourth year of my reign.