"They steeked doors,' they steeked yetts,
Close to the cheek and chin;
They steeked them a' but a little wicket,
And Lammikin crap in.
"Now quhere's the lady of this castle?"
_Old Ballad._
THE party were received with the loudest acclamations of joy by the good
old ladies; and even the Laird seemed to have forgotten that his son had
refused to breed black cattle, and that his daughter-in-law was above
the management of her household.
The usual salutations were scarcely over when Miss Grizzy, flying to
her little writing-box, pulled out a letter, and, with an air of
importance, having enjoined silence, she read as follows:--
"LOCMARLIE CASTLE, _March_ 27,17--.
"DEAR CHILD-Sir Sampson's stomach has been as bad as it could well be,
but not so bad as your roads. He was shook to a jelly. My petticoat will
never do. Mrs. M'Hall has had a girl. I wonder what makes people have
girls; they never come to good. Boys may go to the mischief, and be good
for something--if girls go, they're good for nothing I know of. I never
saw such roads. I suppose Glenfern means to bury you all in the highway;
there are holes enough to make you graves, and stones big enough for
coffins. You must all come and spend Tuesday here--not all, but some of
you--you, dear child, and your brother, and a sister, and your pretty
niece, and handsome nephew--I love handsome people. Miss M'Kraken has
bounced away with her father's footman--I hope he will clean his knives
on her. Come early, and come dressed, to your loving friend,
"ISABELLA MACLAUGHLAN."
The letter ended, a volley of applause ensued, which at length gave
place to consultation. "Of course we all go--at least as many as the
carriage will hold: we have no engagements, and there can be no
objections."
Lady Juliana had already frowned a contemptuous refusal, but in due
time it was changed to a sullen assent, at the pressing entreaties of
her husband, to whom any place was now preferable to home. In truth, the
mention of a party had more weight with her than either her husband's
wishes or her aunts' remonstrances; and they had assured her that she
should meet with a large assemblage of the very first company at
Lochmarlie Castle.
The day appointed for the important visit arrived; and it was arranged
that two of the elder ladies and one of the young ones should accompany
Lady Juliana in her barouche, which Henry was to drive.
At peep of dawn the ladies were astir, and at eight o'clock breakfast
was hurried over that they might begin the preparations necessary for
appearing with dignity at the shrine of this their patron saint. At
eleven they reappeared in all the majesty of sweeping silk trains and
well-powdered toupees. In outward show Miss Becky was not less
elaborate; the united strength and skill of her three aunts and four
sisters had evidently been exerted in forcing her hair into every
position but that for which nature had intended it; curls stood on end
around her forehead, and tresses were dragged up from the roots, and
formed into a club on the crown; her arms had been strapped back till
her elbows met, by means of a pink ribbon of no ordinary strength or
doubtful hue.
Three hours were past in all the anguish of full-dressed impatience; an
anguish in which every female breast must be ready to sympathise. But
Lady Juliana sympathised in no one's distresses but her own, and the
difference of waiting in high dress or in déshabille was a distinction
to her inconceivable. But those to whom _to be dressed _is an event will
readily enter into the feelings of the ladies in question as they sat,
walked, wondered, exclaimed, opened windows, wrung their hands, adjusted
their dress, etc. etc., during the three tedious hours they were doomed
to wait the appearance of their niece.
Two o'clock came, and with it Lady Juliana, as if purposely to testify
her contempt, in a loose morning dress and mob cap. The sisters looked
blank with disappointment; for having made themselves mistresses of the
contents of her ladyship's wardrobe, they had settled amongst themselves
that the most suitable dress for the occasion would be black velvet, and
accordingly many hints had been given the preceding evening on the
virtues of black velvet gowns. They were warm, and not too warm; they
were dressy, and not too dressy; Lady Maclaughlan was a great admirer of
black velvet gowns; she had one herself with long sleeves, and that
buttoned behind; black velvet gowns were very much wore; they knew
several ladies who had them; and they were certain there would be
nothing else wore amongst the matrons at Lady Maclaughlan's, etc. etc.
Time was, however, too precious to be given either to remonstrance or
lamentation. Miss Jacky could only give an angry look, and Miss Grizzy
a sorrowful one, as they hurried away to the carriage, uttering
exclamations of despair at the lateness of the hour, and the
impossibility that anybody could have time to dress after getting to
Lochmarlie Castle.
The consequence of the delay was that it was dark by the time they
reached the place of destination. The carriage drove up to the grand
entrance; but neither lights nor servants greeted their arrival; and no
answer was returned to the ringing of the bell.
"We had best get out and try the back. This is most alarming, I
declare!" cried Miss Grizzy.
"It is quite incomprehensible!" observed Miss Jacky. "We had best get
out and try the back door."
The party alighted, and another attack being made upon the rear, it met
with better success; for a little boy now presented himself at a narrow
opening of the door, and in a strong Highland accent demanded "wha ta
war seekin'?"
"Lady Maclaughlan, to be sure, Colin," was the reply.
"Weel, weel," still refusing admittance; "but te leddie's no to be
spoken wi' to-night."
"Not to be spoken with!" exclaimed Miss Grizzy, almost sinking to the
ground with apprehension. "Good gracious I--I hope I--I declare I--Sir
Sampson!----"
"OO ay, hur may see Lochmarlie hursel." Then opening the door, he led
the way, and ushered them into the presence of Sir Sampson, who was
reclining in an easy chair, arrayed in a _robe de chambre_ and nightcap.
The opening of the door seemed to have broken his slumber; for, gazing
around with a look of stupefaction, he demanded in a sleepy peevish
tone, "Who was there?"
"Bless me, Sir Sampson!" exclaimed both spinsters at once, darting
forward and seizing a hand; "bless me, don't you know us? And here is
our niece, Lady Juliana."
"My Lady Juliana Douglas!" cried he, with a shriek of horror, sinking
again upon his cushions. "I am betrayed--I--Where is my Lady
Maclaughlan?--Where is Philistine?-- Where is--the devil! This is not to
be borne! My Lady Juliana Douglas, the Earl of Courtland's daughter, to
be introduced to Lochmarlie Castle in so vile a manner, and myself
surprised in so indecorous a situation!" And, his lips quivering with
passion, he rang the bell.
The summons was answered by the same attendant that had acted as
gentleman usher.
"'Where are all my people?" demanded his incensed master.
"Hurs aw awa tull ta Sandy More's."
"Where is my Lady?"
"Hurs i' ta teach tap." [1]
[1] House top.
"'Where is Murdoch?"
"Hur's helpin' ta leddie i' ta teach tap."
"Oh, we'll all go upstairs, and see what Lady Maclaughlan and Philistine
are about in the laboratory," said Miss Grizzy. "So pray, just go on
with your nap, Sir Sampson; we shall find the way--don't stir;" and
taking Lady Juliana by the hand, away tripped the spinsters in search of
their friend. "I cannot conceive the meaning of all this," whispered
Miss Grizzy to her sister as they went along. "Something must be wrong;
but I said nothing to dear Sir Sampson, his nerves are so easily
agitated. But what can be the meaning of all this? I declare it's quite
a mystery."
After ascending several long dark stairs, and following divers windings
and turnings, the party at length reached the door of the _sanctum
sanctorum,_ and having gently tapped, the voice of the priestess was
heard in no very encouraging accents, demanding "Who was there?"
"It's only us," replied her trembling friend.
"Only us? humph! I wonder what fool is called _only us!_ Open the
door, Philistine, and see what _only us_ wants."
The door was opened and the party entered. The day was closing in,
but by the faint twilight that mingled with the gleams from a smoky
smouldering fire, Lady Maclaughlan was dimly discernible, as she stood
upon the hearth, watching the contents of an enormous kettle that
emitted both steam and odour. She regarded the invaders with her usual
marble aspect, and without moving either joint or muscle as they drew
near.
"I declare--I don't think you know us, Lady Maclaughlan," said Miss
Grizzy in a tone of affected vivacity, with which she strove to conceal
her agitation.
"Know you!" repeated her friend--"humph! Who you are, I know very well;
but what brings you here, I do _not_ know. Do you know yourselves?"
"I declare---I can't conceive----" began Miss Grizzy; but her
trepidation arrested her speech, and her sister therefore proceeded--
"Your ladyship's declaration is no less astonishing than
incomprehensible. We have waited upon you by your own express invitation
on the day appointed by yourself; and we have been received in a manner,
I must say, we did not expect, considering this is the first visit of
our niece Lady Juliana Douglas."
"I'll tell you what, girls," replied their friend, as she still stood
with her back to the fire, and her hands behind her; "I'll tell you
what,--you are not yourselves--you are all lost--quite mad--that's
all--humph!"
"If that's the case, we cannot be fit company for your ladyship,"
retorted Miss Jacky warmly; "and therefore the best thing we can do is
to return the way we came. Come, Lady Juliana--come, sister."
"I declare, Jacky, the impetuosity of your temper is--I really cannot
stand it--" and the gentle Grizzy gave way to a flood of tears.
"You used to be rational, intelligent creatures," resumed her ladyship;
"but what has come over you, I don't know. You come tumbling in here at
the middle of the night--and at the top of the house nobody knows
how--when I never was thinking of you; and because I don't tell a parcel
of lies, and pretend I expected you, you are for flying off again
--humph! Is this the behaviour of women in their senses? But since you
are here, you may as well sit down and say what brought you. Get down,
Gil Blas--go along, Tom Jones," addressing two huge cats, who occupied a
three-cornered leather chair by the fireside, and who relinquished it
with much reluctance.
"How do you do, pretty creature?" kissing Lady Juliana, as she seated
her in this cat's cradle. "Now, girls, sit down, and tell what brought
you here to-day--humph!"
"Can your Ladyship ask such a question, after having formally invited
us?" demanded the wrathful Jacky.
"I'll tell you what, girls; you were just as much invited by me to dine
here to-day as you were appointed to sup with the Grand
Seignior--humph!"
"What day of the week does your Ladyship call this?"
"I call it Tuesday; but I suppose the Glenfern calendar calls it
Thursday: Thursday was the day I invited you to come."
"I'm sure--I'm thankful we're got to the bottom of it at last," cried
Miss Grizzy; "I read it, because I'm sure you wrote it, Tuesday."
"How could you be such a fool, my love, as to read it any such thing?
Even if it had been written Tuesday, you might have had the sense to
know it meant Thursday. When did you know me invite anybody for a
Tuesday?"
"I declare it's very true; I certainly ought to have known better. I
am quite confounded at my own stupidity; for, as you observe, even
though you had said Tuesday, I might have known that you must have meant
Thursday."
"Well, well, no more about it. Since you are here you must stay here,
and you must have something to eat, I suppose. Sir Sampson and I have
dined two hours ago; but you shall have your dinner for all that. I must
shut shop for this day, it seems, and leave my resuscitating tincture
all in the deadthraw--Methusalem pills quite in their infancy. But
there's no help for it. Since you are here you must stay here, and you
must be fed and lodged; so get along, girls, get along. Here, Gil
Blas--come, Tom Jones." And, preceded by her cats, and followed by her
guests, she led the way to the parlour.