I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of the
various occurrences that came under my notice while we lay at Chelsea,
which was about five weeks: such as, the great difficulty we had in
obtaining a lodging; the many wonderful things to be seen about
London; the behaviour of the invalids; to what regiments they
belonged, &c. But there is one thing which I think it would certainly
be wrong to omit, because it is illustrative of the loving-kindness of
the Lord, whose glory we ought to have in view in all that we do.
While I was in this place I found one of my brothers working at
Vauxhall bridge, who was one of Mr. Fletcher of the Secession's
hearers. My wife and I, therefore, upon the first sabbath after we
went ashore, accompanied him to Miles's Lane Chapel, and heard a Mr.
M'Donald, I think, who was officiating in the absence of Mr. F. at
this time in Scotland. Upon entering the meeting house, a mixture of
unutterable reverence and joy thrilled through my soul, while I
thought of the solemnity of the place, and looked back on the long
dreary period during which I had been deprived of an opportunity of
"assembling with the people of God in his house of prayer." But how
was I struck with adoring wonder, when the preacher gave out the 63d
psalm,
"Lord, thee my God, I'll early seek:
My soul doth thirst for thee," &c.
which he prefaced in a very pathetic manner; and during the whole of
the explanation, set forth the Psalmist's condition, so exactly
applicable to the feelings and circumstances of my past life,
particularly in India and in my voyage home; and the next psalm which
he gave out was the 122d,
"I joyed when to the house of God,
Go up, they said to me," &c.
which was equally applicable to my now happy situation. I found it too
much for my feelings, for I thought my heart would have burst with
alternate joy and sorrow. Joy, when I saw in this the answer of many a
longing desire, "and my prayers returned into mine own bosom;" and
sorrow, because of the many unbelieving and ungrateful thoughts I had
formerly entertained, that "I should never again see the Lord, even
the Lord, in the land of the living," until a flood of concealed tears
gave me some relief; and a sweet believing tranquillity took the place
of these conflicting passions. The whole of the services of the day
corresponded with its commencement, and all had a tendency to refresh
and satisfy my thirsty soul, more than the vernal showers of the east
could cheer and invigorate the face of languishing nature; and I do
trust they "did not return to the Lord void, but prospered in that
thing whereunto they were sent." Surely the Psalmist's choice of
spending his time was mine, for I certainly esteemed "this day better
than a thousand," and found these comforts sweeter to my soul than
honey to my mouth. Surely on this happy day, if ever in my life, I
found out in a great measure the truth and emphasis of these gracious
words: "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after
righteousness, for they shall be filled." But, I trust, my dear
reader, you will excuse me, when I tell you that I am unable to
describe my emotions at this time. However, if you are one of those
persons spoken of by the apostle, who "have their senses exercised to
discern both good and evil," you can better enter into my state than I
am able to inform you; although you cannot be expected to feel to the
same degree as I have felt, unless you had suffered, to the same
extent, as I have suffered. But if you are really one "of Christ's
scholars, and taught by his Holy Spirit, that Spirit dwells in you,"
and "he will teach you in some measure his own language," and you will
know something of what is meant by "the soul being satisfied with
marrow and fatness," of the Lord lifting upon his people "the light of
his countenance," of "causing his face to shine upon them;" and of "his
loving kindness being better than life."--You will know something of
"the joy of the Lord," the "joy of God's salvation," and "the joy of
the Holy Ghost," "of being filled with all joy and peace in
believing;" &c. but if these, and the like passages, be to you an
unknown tongue, or a language which you do not understand, I am afraid
that you have the alphabet of Christianity to learn yet, and "have
need that one teach you over again, which be the first principles of
the oracles of God; and are indeed among such as have need of milk,
and not of strong meat." All that I shall say more upon this subject
is, that I found this place to be a Bethel, for surely the Lord was
there, for it was to me none other than the house of God, surely it
was to me the very gate of heaven.--O taste, and ye shall find also
that the Lord is good; and that the man is truly blessed which
trusteth in him.
You may be sure we did not remain long in Chelsea, after I passed the
board; for I went immediately to Millar's wharf, and found there a
vessel bound for Leith. I therefore took our passage in the steerage;
but I had cause afterwards to repent that I did not take a cabin
passage, for the steerage was so completely stowed with baggage, that
all the passengers were obliged to lie upon deck the whole way; this
was a mischievous bath, for us particularly, who had just come from
India, considering that it was in the month of September.
On landing at Leith we put our baggage into a cart, and went off to
Pennycuick immediately, where we were joyfully received; we remained
there with our friends a few days, after having been nearly eleven
years absent, and having only seen them once during that period, when
I visited them, on furlough, from Ireland.
After we had recruited ourselves, we were anxious to get the children
settled before I thought of settling myself; and we accordingly went
with them to Edinburgh, and took tickets on the outside of the Glasgow
coach. When we arrived at that place, we immediately went to
Anderston, and found out the dwelling of William Stevenson, the
grandfather, on the mother's side, of Serjeant Lee's child. The old
folks received us with great expressions of gratitude, on account of
what we had done for the poor, destitute orphans of their deceased
daughter. The neighbours also came flocking in, to behold the children
who were born in such a far distant land; and expressed their
astonishment at the way which the providence of God had taken to bring
them home, considering that we were in no wise related to any of them.
They wrote off to Serjeant Fleming's father, who lived at Kilmarnock,
and he no sooner received the intelligence, than he came off to
Anderston, accompanied by one of his sons, and when we were all
assembled, we spent a very happy day together.
After remaining some time in their company, giving and receiving
information, we bethought ourselves of returning home. So Mr. Fleming
took the child of his deceased son, and the little girl of the
deceased Serjeant Lee remained in Anderston: but Mr. Stevenson, and
his wife being old, and apparently very infirm, we told them, that if
it was the will of God to remove either of them by death, and in
consequence thereof the child should become burdensome to the
survivor, or might herself be neglected, that we would still consider
ourselves as parents to the child, and do for her in every respect as
if she were our own; and requested them, moreover, to be sure to keep
up a correspondence with us by letters.
It was not many months after this when I received the news of the old
man's death. According to promise, I therefore went from Peebles to
Anderston, to bring home the little girl, who still recollected me,
calling me _daddy_ when ever I entered the house, and attempted
to wash my feet, which were very sore by marching a good way that
morning. I stopped a day to rest myself, and during that time she
would not allow me to be out of her sight, neither could any of her
uncles or aunts induce her to go with them anywhere unless I desired
her. I thought it would be my best plan, both for expedition and on
account of the child, to take a ticket in the coach: so I acted
accordingly. When we reached Edinburgh, I went to a house, head of the
Candlemaker Row, and found there a return-chaise for Peebles, at which
I was very happy, and we set off as soon as the driver was ready, as I
was anxious to get home. We arrived safe at Peebles about eleven
o'clock at night; but, when I knocked at the door, which my wife had
just shut, preparing for bed, she could hardly believe that I could
have so soon returned. But, when she saw her poor little dear, as she
called her, she took her in her arms, and embraced her with all the
symptoms of an affectionate mother who had been robbed of her
innocent, that was now again restored to her arms, her bosom, and her
affections.
Now, my dear reader, this is what became of the orphans, and who knows
but God, whose "way is in the sea, and whose path is in the great
waters;" may intend this poor little Indian orphan to sooth our dying
bed, and to be our greatest earthly friend, when a true friend is
valuable.--While we were in Peebles, I tried my old occupation of
working at the loom; but I was compelled to leave it off, as this
employment would not agree with my constitution, being much afflicted
with a pain in the breast, and a giddiness in my head; which were
truly distressing.
We had not lived long in Peebles after the child came to us, when I
received a letter directed, Serjeant B----, Peebles, late of the Royal
Scots. When I looked at the back of the letter, I could not understand
who was the writer, yet I thought the hand familiar; but when I opened
it, to my great astonishment I found it to be from Colonel Stewart,
saying that he had just learned that I was returned from India in a
very bad state of health, which he was very sorry for; and said,
moreover, that if he could be of any service in procuring any
situation suitable for me, he would be happy to do it, and likewise
expressed a desire to see me. I accordingly went to his country seat
near Stirling, where he had just gone; and, after many kind inquiries
upon both sides, he asked me if I could point out any thing that he or
his interest could do for me. I expressed my gratitude in the best way
I could for his kind offer, but told him that I could think of nothing
but a drum-major's situation in a local militia corps, though at the
same time I said, that I was afraid that it would be difficult to be
obtained; but it did not appear so to him, and he hoped that he would
soon be able to procure it. He desired me to remain all night, and
gave his servants particular charge to pay all possible attention to
my comfort.
I had not returned to Peebles above three weeks, when I received a
letter from this kind friend, informing me that he had obtained a
situation for me in the Greenock Local Militia; and I accordingly went
and took the charge of that corps the following week: but there is
nothing in this world to be depended on; for I had not enjoyed my new
situation, in which I received half-a-guinea weekly, above six months,
when an order came for the staffs of these regiments to be broke. But
Colonel Stewart again voluntarily befriended me, for he recommended
me, previous to this taking place, to the notice of his brother, at
this time bailie of Greenock, who fell upon a plan for assisting me.
The gentlemen of Greenock had often expressed a wish for a
billiard-table, that they might amuse themselves at a vacant hour; and
Mr. Stewart having a room suitable for the purpose, agreed to fit it
up as a billiard-room, if I would take the situation of marker to the
billiard-table. I told him I would be very happy to do it, but that it
was an affair with which I was entirely unacquainted; but he said that
it was very easily learned, and that I would soon be master of the
business. I accordingly took the charge of this room; for which I
received a very equitable reward.
I had not been long in my new situation, when I understood my duty
pretty well; and observing that I would have much spare time, I wished
to turn it to some good account. I therefore made inquiry at a very
intelligent acquaintance, if he could inform me where I could get a
book that contained portions of Scripture, arranged under different
heads, as I wished to write them out, and thereby get better
acquainted with the contents of my Bible: and by this employment
might at once be both amused and instructed. So he recommended Dr.
Chalmers's "Scripture References," telling me, that it was the very
kind of book I was seeking. I went and procured it immediately; and I
did not let much time pass, until I commenced writing out, in full,
the passages referred to by the Doctor; but when I came to that head,
"Duties under Affliction," how agreeably was I surprised, when I
found, under it, that blessed passage which gave me so much relief and
comfort in the Prince of Wales' Island, "Call upon me in the day of
trouble; I will deliver thee: and thou shalt glorify me."
The reader may be rather surprised that I never before this hour had
seen these precious words, and may be apt to draw, not unfairly, this
conclusion, that "if I had read my Bible much, I certainly would have
seen this delightful promise before now." I do freely acknowledge that
I have not read my Bible with that attention and frequency I might
have done, and ought to have done, though I have, upon the whole,
endeavoured to make myself acquainted with it by frequent reading;
but, by not going regularly through it, I had never happened to meet
with the above passage, although it was now fully ten years since it
was a mean, in the hand of the spirit which dictated it, of "turning
for me my mourning into dancing, and girding me with gladness." After
I was finished, therefore, with the scripture references, and not
being yet tired with this pleasant labour, I added other three parts
to my intended Pocket Companion, _viz._ a Selection of Passages
from Mr. Henry's Method for Prayer; an Explanation of the Principal
Religious Terms from Mr. Brown's Dictionary of the Bible; and Extracts
from Mr. M'Ewan's Essays. When these four parts were finished, I had
the whole bound together into a pretty sizeable volume, the substance
of which I intended to commit to memory. But I had not finished this
work many days, when Mr. W----, our minister, came to see us, as he
frequently did, and asked me what I had been doing this long time,
that I had never given him a call. I told him how I had been employed.
He expressed a desire to see what I had been writing, and I showed him
the book. After he had examined it a little, he asked me if I would
allow him to peruse it for a few days? I said, he was perfectly
welcome to do that. When he had done so, he came back to our house
with the book, and expressed his satisfaction with regard to the
usefulness and conciseness of the compilation; and told me that it was
an excellent work, (if I could think of publishing it,) for the
instruction of servants, seamen, and even the greater part of the
labouring classes, who had little time to peruse, or money to purchase
books, where those useful subjects were set forth more at large, and
above all, that it might be unspeakably useful to assist or to prepare
people who were lately, or about to be married, in their family
devotions and instructions. I at first could upon no account think of
consenting to his request; but I told him that I would consider about
it a few days. He returned in a short time afterwards to know my
determination. I said that I would be very happy to publish the book,
if I really thought it would be useful to my fellow men, particularly
as I had as much money by me as would pay for printing a few hundred
copies; but I said also, that I was ashamed of my name being affixed
to a printed book, even though it was a compilation. This objection,
however, he obviated, by stating, that it might be published without a
name; and, in short, having brought matters thus far, he went and made
a bargain with a printer; and after the impression was thrown off, he
recommended it very warmly from the pulpit, and not only he, but two
other clergymen, also recommended it in strong language, particularly
to servants and seamen. In consequence of all this, I either sold or
gave away the whole impression in little more than a twelvemonth.
We remained in Greenock until the year 1820, at which time both duty
and inclination seemed to call us to Edinburgh, on account of my old
parents, who resided there, and were, at this period, in a very poor
state of health; that we might try if we could do any thing for the
comfort of them who could now scarcely do any thing for themselves;
while their other children were unable to afford them much relief, on
account of their numerous families. Another weighty motive for my
removal was, that I would there have an opportunity of consulting a
very able physician, with whom I was well acquainted, as he had been
assistant surgeon[23] in our regiment all the time I was in India, whom
I knew to understand perfectly my constitution, and the many and
severe attacks it had sustained, from different disorders, while in
that country, which had rendered a once healthy bodily frame, now
almost totally useless; for I had enjoyed a very indifferent state of
health ever since my sore illness in Trichinopoly. The person to whom
I allude was Dr. B----, a gentleman whose indefatigable and successful
labours, in ascertaining the nature and cure of the diseases of hot
climates, for the benefit of the men under his charge, are well known
to every man in the regiment.
[23] This medical officer left our regiment, being promoted
to the rank of head surgeon to his majesty's 33d regiment;
and, at this time, was practising for himself in Edinburgh.
I therefore left Greenock at the Whitsunday term, and finding myself
still in the same delicate state, I went to Dr. B----, who received me
with great expressions of kindness. He inquired very particularly into
every circumstance with regard to my health since I left India; which
gave me an opportunity of relating the various modes of treatment
which had been prescribed to me by different medical men to whom I had
applied without finding any permanent benefit. After having satisfied
all his inquiries as well as I could, he said that he was afraid that
their mode of treatment was calculated rather to do harm than good,
but that he would call at my lodgings in a day or two. He accordingly
came most punctually; and, after having made all due inquiry for
ascertaining the true nature of my complaint, he told me that my liver
was in a very bad state, and that he would strongly recommend me to
submit to a course of mercury, &c. With this proposal I readily
complied; and, having undergone that course of treatment which his
superior skill thought proper to administer, I derived unspeakable
benefit from it. A short time after I was able to go abroad with
safety, I went to his house, at his desire, and called upon him, to
let him know how well I was coming on. I was also, no doubt, anxious
by this time to know the amount of his bill, which, I thought must be
considerable, when I took into the account his own personal
attendance, for about nine weeks; but how was my astonishment excited,
when he told me that, as I was an old fellow-traveller, and brother
soldier, the amount of my bill was nothing; but that I was perfectly
welcome to all that he had done for me; and, moreover, that he would
be very happy to serve me, or my family, at any time when medical
attendance was necessary.
I confess I am unable, my dear reader, to express, in words, a proper
sense of this gentleman's kindness; I therefore think it the best way
of manifesting my gratitude, by being silent, and desiring that the
generous reader would place himself, as it were, in my situation, and
try what he would think or feel upon such an occasion: but this I will
say, that I have, since the time referred to, enjoyed a better state
of health than ever I have had these nine years past, and I trust I
will carry the grateful remembrance of Dr. B.'s beneficial benevolence
to my last hour.
There is just one other circumstance that I will mention, as it is
rather singular, and then come to a conclusion. After I settled in
Edinburgh, there was a meeting of our family, consisting of eight
children, all being present on this occasion but one, who was a mason
in England. Now it is somewhat remarkable, that of these now present,
four had been but a little time before scattered very widely all over
the world. My oldest brother at that time belonged to the artillery,
and was in America; I myself, who am next in the order of time, was in
India; the third was in Spain with the 94th, having been engaged in
all the actions to which that gallant regiment was called; the last
and youngest of the four, was in Ireland, with the Renfrewshire
militia; yet, by the kind providence of God, our aged parents saw us
now all under one roof; all out of the army, each rewarded according
to his various services, and all settled in a way of doing, in or near
Edinburgh, each of us according to our ability at this time engaging
to add to their future comfort, which you cannot doubt made them a
happy couple, and you need not wonder at them adopting language
similar to that of the ancient and venerable Patriarch, when his son
Joseph was restored to his embraces in safety, after he had long lost
all hope of his being in life: "Now Lord let us die in peace, since we
have seen our children's faces, and because that they are yet alive."
My wife has still retained an excellent state of health,
notwithstanding all her former hard marches, being blessed with one of
the best constitutions I have ever known any woman possessed of; and
the poor little invalid that cost her so much nursing, is also a very
fine healthy child. The other child, who went to Kilmarnock, we have
heard lately is also in perfect good health. My wife's daughter, who
came to us in Greenock, is also quite well, and still forms a part of
our little family. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his
benefits." And when I consider all the way that the Lord our God has
led us, for so many years in the wilderness, I am here disposed, with
Jacob, to set up my monument of gratitude with this inscription--
"HITHERTO THE LORD HATH HELPED US."
FINIS.
Printed by Balfour & Clarke,
Edinburgh, 1823.
* * * * * *
Transcriber's note:
Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note.
The book was printed with two Chapters numbered IV and no
Chapter X. The chapter numbers have been corrected to be
sequential.
Other irregularities and inconsistencies in the text have been
retained as printed.