We arrived at Belfast, and lay there about six months, nothing
extraordinary taking place; only I was truly happy and thankful in
having been excused from the disagreeable duty of punishing the men.
The very sight of this, for some time, made me ready to faint, until
its frequency rendered it easier to my mind. From Belfast we were
marched to Athlone, the centre of Ireland, by severe marches. This was
in June, 1804. At this place I was appointed leading fifer to the
grenadier company of the regiment. We had not been six weeks at
Athlone, when an order was issued for forming an army on the plains of
Kildare, and our regiment, (the 26th, or Scots Cameronians,) was among
the number that assembled at the formation of this camp. When all
collected, there were three regiments of horse, sixteen of foot, and a
brigade of light infantry, the whole under the command of Lord
Cathcart. Here, truly, I began to _peel my wands_, or, to speak
more plainly, to know something of the inconveniences of a soldier's
life.
The country being in a very troubled state, we were ordered to encamp
on the Curragh, to be ready if wanted, and also to inure us to the
hardships of the field. As I said before, I belonged to the
grenadiers, and there were twenty of us in a small bell tent; and you
may easier conceive than I can describe how such a number could take
repose during the night on so small a space, with nothing but straw on
the ground, and our camp blankets. We were so jammed together that it
was impossible for any one to change his posture, at least without
disturbing the whole tent. Our field-days also were very frequent and
severe, the men being out from five or six o'clock in the morning
until four or five in the afternoon, without tasting a morsel of
victuals, so that many of the men fainted daily in the ranks from want
and fatigue.
After remaining on the Curragh for six weeks, the country became
quiet, and we were ordered back to our old stations; and heartily glad
we were again to see the barracks of Athlone. After doing the duty
here a few months longer, we received a route to Dublin, at which news
I was very greatly delighted, for there I expected to get my musical
mind much better entertained than at Athlone. On my arrival at Dublin
I went to a music teacher, to whom I paid half-a-guinea a month for
getting instructions on the violin and clarionet; but having already
acquired considerable execution on the German flute, I was encouraged
myself to give instructions on that instrument; and the money I
received in this way enabled me to defray the expense of my own
teacher, and of buying instruments, music, &c. Here I breathed my
native air, I may say; for what with regimental practice, teaching my
pupils, attending my own instructions, writing my own music, &c. I
certainly had enough of it, yet hardly could I ever say I was
satiated. Even in the night the music was passing before me in review;
and when I did not perfectly comprehend my master's lessons during the
day, they were sure to be cleared up to me when I awoke during the
night. There was no time here allowed for the service of God;
no--something of more importance, as I thought, engrossed my mind, but
I little thought that this course was preparing me apace for falling a
victim before a temptation which was not far distant. It may seem
strange to my readers, that I who seemed to show so much piety, during
my apprenticeship, and for some time afterwards, should now live so
careless a life; but I had my lashes of conscience sometimes, I assure
you, and endeavoured to hush its clamours by saying, I had no
opportunity in a barrack-room for prayer, reading my Bible, or serious
reflection, and I tried to believe that God would take this for an
excuse, particularly as I promised to become a good Christian, when
the Lord should deliver me from this confusion. Truly, the heart is
deceitful and desperately wicked. The truth is, my mind was constantly
going after its vanities; I found pleasure in nothing but music and
musicians.
Windham's plan, as it was called, now came into action. This was for
Militia and Army of Reserve men, to volunteer into the line for seven
years, and great numbers in our regiment were taking the bounty every
day. There was nothing but drumming and fifeing to be heard in the
very passages of the barracks, and our commanding officer gave five
pounds to drink, night after night, at the mess-house, in order to
encourage our men to extend[1] their service, and enter into the first
battalion of the regiment, which consisted of what are called
regulars; and to add to the intoxicating effect of the liquor, the
whole corps of fifes and drums were ordered to attend, and continued
there nightly, till we were all worn out with fatigue. In spite of
these temptations, I never once thought of volunteering, though the
commanding officer laboured hard to induce me to go with him into the
first battalion. I told him freely that my mind did not lead me to the
army; and when he saw he could not prevail, he said, "Very well, my
man, if your heart does not lie in the right bit, never volunteer."
But, alas! the value of the Apostle's admonition, "Let him that
standeth take heed lest he fall," was soon after exemplified in my
experience. Shortly after this, upwards of one hundred of our men
volunteered into the 2d battalion of the Scots Royals, which was also
a marching regiment. Some of them were asked by Lieutenant-Colonel
Stewart if there was any young man of the 26th corps of fifes, that
was qualified for fife-major. They all answered, there was one B----.
The Colonel hearing so much of me, sent a Serjeant to request me to
call upon him. This I promised to do next day, but I had truly a
miserable conflict in my mind that night, considering whether I ought
to accept or refuse this offer. Sleep I could get none, but walked
about the passages of the barracks all night, looking anxiously at
both sides of the question. My principal objection was the wickedness
of the army, for I easily got over that of the hardships to which I
would be exposed in a marching regiment, either in the field or in a
foreign country. On the other hand, if I could obtain the situation of
serjeant and fife-major, the pay would be very comfortable, and I
would have an opportunity of seeing the world, which would gratify an
inclination I had long entertained. I therefore came to the resolution
of going, if I received the above situation. To be short, I went to
Colonel Stewart, and after a few words passing on both sides, he asked
me if I would take the ten guineas of bounty, and fife-major, with the
_rank_ of serjeant, and go with him into the 2d Battalion of the
Royals. I told him, if I received the _pay_, with the rank of
serjeant and fife-major, I would, but not otherwise, for that I did
not care for the rank without the pay.--So he was honest enough to
tell me, that he did not know if the Duke of Kent would allow a
fife-major the pay of serjeant, besides his perquisites as fife-major,
but if I would take his offer, he would give me five guineas over and
above my bounty, as he had received a good character of me, and liked
my appearance, and, moreover, that I would find a friend in him, and
that he would write the Duke of Kent, who was our Colonel, for
authority to give me the serjeant's pay; but as he could not assure me
of its being done, he would promise nothing but what he could perform.
This was very honest plain dealing, and was truly attractive in my
eyes, but it would not do: so I thanked him for his friendly offers,
and so bade him farewell, and walked away; but he followed me to the
foot of the stair, where the major of the regiment meeting us, said,
"Well Stewart, have you agreed with this young man?" He answered in
the negative, and stated to him the reason as above mentioned; but the
major soon removed that obstacle, by saying, "we can easily give him
the difference of pay out of the fund of the regiment, if the duke
will not allow it; and to give me all satisfaction that the serjeant's
pay would be sure to me from that date, he offered me his letter to
that effect." To this proposal I could no longer object, and in short
I received the letter, passed the Doctor, got my bounty, and a
furlough of two months to see my friends in Scotland, before I
returned to my barracks. A few days after, along with other
volunteers, who had also obtained furloughs, we sailed in a vessel for
Saltcoats, and, after a very pleasant passage of two days, were safely
landed there, and my comrades each took his own road. One young lad
only went with me to Edinburgh; and we were on the top of the coach on
the 7th day of August, 1806; that dreadful day of thunder, lightning,
and rain, by which so much mischief was done to men, beasts, and the
fruits of the earth. We were the only outside passengers, and the
company inside were willing to incommode themselves considerably, to
give us shelter, which was kind on their part, and tempting upon ours;
and my comrade gave me the motion to that effect; but I refused,
saying, that as we had joined a marching regiment of the line, we must
lay our account with being exposed frequently to such weather and
worse, and that I could not brook this sort of effeminateness, but no
doubt we got a very complete ducking.
[1] The Reserve were enlisted for five years, or during the
war, and were not obliged to go out of the three kingdoms.
I arrived safe at Peebles amongst my old friends, where I was warmly
received after an absence of three years; but I did not long remain
there till I formed an intimacy with a young woman; and our courtship,
like that of many soldiers, was not long; but I would not marry till I
returned to the regiment and obtained my Colonel's liberty, that so I
might have a better chance of getting her abroad with me, should the
regiment, as we expected, be ordered on foreign service. My attachment
to this young woman was very sincere; and I gave instructions to the
person with whom I had left my bounty money, as formerly mentioned, to
give her ten pounds to bear her expenses to the regiment, then in
England, when, after obtaining the Colonel's leave to marry her, I
should send him a letter to that effect. All being thus settled
between us, the time drew nigh when I was to leave my native spot,
which was now doubly dear to me. I left Peebles about two o'clock in
the morning, in fine moonlight, in the month of September; but it is
easier for you, my dear reader, to conceive than for me to describe my
situation. I cast many a longing lingering look behind me, and dragged
myself by main force out of the view. I was little short of being
angry at my preciseness, that I did not marry off hand, and bring the
girl with me, whose situation was still more pitiable than my own. We
were only two days in Edinburgh, then sailed from Leith Roads for the
regiment, which was lying at Horsham, and I was not long there when I
had all settled in our favour, and immediately wrote for the young
woman; but, as I afterwards discovered, or at least had great reason
to suspect, a certain evil-designing person kept up the letters. I
waited in anxious suspense for "the girl I left behind me," but I
waited in vain. Days were as months, and brought me no relief. At
last, to crown my misery, I received a letter from a friend in
Peebles, who knew of our agreement, stating, that Jean had almost gone
out of her mind about me, and thinking, like too many of my coat, that
I was going to prove unfaithful, she went to Edinburgh to inquire
about me. There she got no relief to her distracted mind, but only the
satisfaction that I had sailed for the regiment at such and such a
time. She was now put to her wits end, and in a kind of derangement
she wandered to Dumfries, where she had a brother residing, and
remained with him for some time. She saw herself like a castaway, for
she was ashamed to go back to her place at Peebles, and it being
between terms, she could not get into service in a country where she
was a stranger: so, in a word, the serjeant of a Highland regiment, an
acquaintance of her brother's, paid his addresses to her, and she
married him; but scarcely was the festival over when the contents
of my letter, through the same channel probably by which it was
intercepted originally, reached her ears; and if she was to be pitied
before that time, she was not less so then. This was, I may say, my
first courtship, (and I then thought it would be my last,) for, during
the three years I was in Ireland, I never spent an hour in a woman's
company, good or bad, although some of my companions often tried to
lead me astray. But I was always so much taken up with my music, that
I had no time to spend in such courses: Providence by this means
preserving me from at least a worse evil; for these strange women (as
Solomon calls them) were the occasion of hundreds of the regiment
getting themselves confined and flogged, besides the other dreadful
effects produced by their company.
Nothing extraordinary happened till we came to Hastings, which we left
on the 15th March, 1807, (on our route to Portsmouth to be embarked
for India,) and reached Lewes on that day, where I, and thirty others
of our regiment, were billeted at the White Hart. Shoreham is the
next stage for soldiers, and here, intending to write my friends in
Scotland, I felt for my watch, (which cast up the day of the month,)
that I might put the right date to my letter, but, to my great
mortification, my watch was gone. After a little reflection, I
remembered that I had, very stupidly indeed, left it in my quarters at
Lewes: so I immediately went to Colonel Stewart to ask his permission
to return there, which he readily granted. I left Shoreham about four
o'clock at night, and reached the inn at Lewes about eleven. Happy was
I to find my watch safe in the possession of Boots, and I immediately
took the road again, and was in Shoreham in good time to march with
the regiment in the morning. When Colonel Stewart saw me, he inquired
why I had not gone for my watch; and when I told him I had already
been at Lewes, he would scarcely believe me, until I showed her to
him. He then desired me to get on one of the baggage waggons; but I
said I was able enough for the march; but you may believe I was
terribly tired before we reached the next stage.
When we arrived at Portsmouth, the Duke of Kent came in person to make
arrangements for the embarkation of the regiment; but now came the tug
of war for the married people. There were between two and three
hundred women in the 2d Battalion of the Royals, and there were only
six women for every hundred men permitted to go; so that sixty women
(our battalion being 1000 strong) were the whole number who could
embark with their husbands. The selection of these was made by
casting lots. Amongst the married people, all was suspense and anxiety
to know their destiny; and you may conceive what barrack-rooms we had
after it was over. I went into one of them, as I was passing to the
Colonel's quarters, to see one of my musical friends, who had a worthy
woman to his wife, and to inquire if she had got a prize, but all was
_dool_ and sorrow. I thought with myself that I would try what my
interest with the Colonel could do for this sorrowful couple, but
durst not speak my mind lest I should raise hopes that would never be
realized, and thus make things worse; for "hope deferred maketh the
heart sick." So I opened my mind freely to the Colonel, and spoke much
in favour of Mrs. Allan, (for that was her name,) but nothing more
than she justly deserved. His answer to me was, "Indeed B---- I wish
the Duke of Kent had stopped where he was. We would have managed
matters better without him; but I will try what I can do for her on
your account. Tell Mrs. Allan to come to me." So I left him quite
overjoyed that I should have it in my power to bring comfort to the
disconsolate mourners. I returned to his quarters immediately along
with Mrs. Allan. The Colonel said, smiling, "Well, Mrs. Allan, are you
not afraid of your husband being jealous of you and the Fife Major?"
She answered in the negative. "He speaks in very high terms of your
character." "I am very much obliged to him, Sir, for his good
opinion." "Is he any relation to you?" "No, Sir, but he has always
been a very good friend." "That is right; give my compliments to
Captain Glover, and desire him from me to put down your name to go
with his company."--Take notice of this circumstance, for I will have
occasion to mention it again.