"Let me also put a question," said Aurelia. "I have looked at Ophelia's
part again: I am contented with it, and confident, that, under certain
circumstances, I could play it. But tell me, should not the poet have
furnished the insane maiden with another sort of songs? Could not some
fragments out of melancholy ballads be selected for this purpose? Why
put double meanings and lascivious insipidities in the mouth of this
noble-minded girl?"
"Dear friend," said Wilhelm, "even here I cannot yield you one iota. In
these singularities, in this apparent impropriety, a deep sense is hid.
Do we not understand from the very first what the mind of the good,
soft-hearted girl was busied with? Silently she lived within herself,
yet she scarce concealed her wishes, her longing: the tones of desire
were in secret ringing through her soul; and how often may she have
attempted, like an unskilful nurse, to lull her senses to repose with
songs which only kept them more awake? But at last, when her
self-command is altogether gone, when the secrets of her heart are
hovering on her tongue, that tongue betrays her; and in the innocence of
insanity she solaces herself, unmindful of king or queen, with the echo
of her loose and well-beloved songs,--'To-morrow is Saint Valentine's
Day,' and 'By Gis and by Saint Charity.'"
He had not finished speaking, when all at once an extraordinary scene
took place before him, which he could not in any way explain.
Serlo had walked once or twice up and down the room, without evincing
any special object. On a sudden, he stepped forward to Aurelia's
dressing-table, caught hastily at something that was lying there, and
hastened to the door with his booty. No sooner did Aurelia notice this,
than, springing up, she threw herself in his way, laid hold of him with
boundless vehemence, and had dexterity enough to clutch an end of the
article he was carrying off. They struggled and wrestled with great
obstinacy, twisted and threw each other sharply round; he laughed; she
exerted all her strength; and as Wilhelm hastened towards them, to
separate and soothe them, Aurelia sprang aside with a naked dagger in
her hand; while Serlo cast the scabbard, which had staid with him,
angrily upon the floor. Wilhelm started back astonished; and his dumb
wonder seemed to ask the cause why so violent a strife, about so
strange an implement, had taken place between them.
"You shall judge betwixt us," said the brother. "What business she with
sharp steel? Do but look at it. That dagger is unfit for any
actress,--point like a needle's, edge like a razor's! What good's the
farce? Passionate as she is, she will one day chance to do herself a
mischief. I have a heart's hatred at such singularities: a serious
thought of that sort is insane, and so dangerous a plaything is not in
taste."
"I have it back!" exclaimed Aurelia, and held the polished blade aloft:
"I will now keep my faithful friend more carefully. Pardon me," she
cried, and kissed the steel, "that I have so neglected thee."
Serlo was like to grow seriously angry. "Take it as thou wilt, brother,"
she continued: "how knowest thou but, under this form, a precious
talisman may have been given me, so that, in extreme need, I may find
help and counsel in it? Must all be hurtful that looks dangerous?"
"Such talk without a meaning might drive one mad," said Serlo, and left
the room with suppressed indignation. Aurelia put the dagger carefully
into its sheath, and placed it in her bosom. "Let us now resume the
conversation which our foolish brother has disturbed," said she, as
Wilhelm was beginning to put questions on the subject of this quarrel.
"I must admit your picture of Ophelia to be just," continued she; "I
cannot now misunderstand the object of the poet: I must pity; though, as
you paint her, I shall rather pity her than sympathize with her. But
allow me here to offer a remark, which in these few days you have
frequently suggested to me. I observe with admiration the correct, keen,
penetrating glance with which you judge of poetry, especially dramatic
poetry: the deepest abysses of invention are not hidden from you, the
finest touches of representation cannot escape you. Without ever having
viewed the objects in nature, you recognize the truth of their images:
there seems, as it were, a presentiment of all the universe to lie in
you, which by the harmonious touch of poetry is awakened and unfolded.
For in truth," continued she, "from without, you receive not much: I
have scarcely seen a person that so little knew, so totally misknew, the
people he lived with, as you do. Allow me to say it: in hearing you
expound the mysteries of Shakspeare, one would think you had just
descended from a synod of the gods, and had listened there while they
were taking counsel how to form men; in seeing you transact with your
fellows, I could imagine you to be the first large-born child of the
Creation, standing agape, and gazing with strange wonderment and
edifying good nature at lions and apes and sheep and elephants, and
true-heartedly addressing them as your equals, simply because they were
there, and in motion like yourself."
"The feeling of my ignorance in this respect," said Wilhelm, "often
gives me pain; and I should thank you, worthy friend, if you would help
me to get a little better insight into life. From youth, I have been
accustomed to direct the eyes of my spirit inwards rather than outwards;
and hence it is very natural, that, to a certain extent, I should be
acquainted with man, while of men I have not the smallest knowledge."
"In truth," said Aurelia, "I at first suspected, that, in giving such
accounts of the people whom you sent to my brother, you meant to make
sport of us: when I compared your letters with the merits of these
persons, it seemed very strange."
Aurelia's remarks, well founded as they might be, and willing as our
friend was to confess himself deficient in this matter, carried with
them something painful, nay, offensive, to him; so that he grew silent,
and retired within himself, partly to avoid showing any irritated
feeling, partly to search his mind for the truth or error of the charge.
"Let not this alarm you," said Aurelia: "the light of the understanding
it is always in our power to reach, but this fulness of the heart no one
can give us. If you are destined for an artist, you cannot long enough
retain the dim-sightedness and innocence of which I speak; it is the
beautiful hull upon the young bud; woe to us if we are forced too soon
to burst it! Surely it were well, if we never knew what the people are
for whom we work and study.
"Oh! I, too, was in that happy case, when I first betrod the stage, with
the loftiest opinion of myself and of my nation. What a people, in my
fancy, were the Germans! what a people might they yet become! I
addressed this people, raised above them by a little joinery, separated
from them by a row of lamps, whose glancing and vapor threw an
indistinctness over every thing before me. How welcome was the tumult of
applause which sounded to me from the crowd! how gratefully did I accept
the present offered me unanimously by so many hands! For a time I rocked
myself in these ideas: I affected the multitude, and was again affected
by them. With my public I was on the fairest footing: I imagined that I
felt a perfect harmony betwixt us, and that on each occasion I beheld
before me the best and noblest of the land.
"Unhappily it was not the actress alone that inspired these friends of
the stage with interest: they likewise made pretensions to the young and
lively girl. They gave me to understand, in terms distinct enough, that
my duty was, not only to excite emotion in them, but to share it with
them personally. This, unluckily, was not my business: I wished to
elevate their minds; but, to what they called their hearts, I had not
the slightest claim. Yet now men of all ranks, ages, and characters, by
turns afflicted me with their addresses; and it did seem hard that I
could not, like an honest young woman, shut my door, and spare myself
such a quantity of labor.
"The men appeared, for most part, much the same as I had been accustomed
to about my aunt; and here again I should have felt disgusted with them,
had not their peculiarities and insipidities amused me. As I was
compelled to see them, in the theatre, in open places, in my house, I
formed the project of spying out their follies; and my brother helped me
with alacrity to execute it. And if you reflect, that up from the
whisking shopman and the conceited merchant's son, to the polished,
calculating man of the world, the bold soldier, and the impetuous
prince, all in succession passed in review before me, each in his way
endeavoring to found his small romance, you will pardon me if I
conceived that I had gained some acquaintance with my nation.
"The fantastically dizened student; the awkward, humbly proud man of
letters; the sleek-fed, gouty canon; the solemn, heedful man of office;
the heavy country-baron; the smirking, vapid courtier; the young, erring
parson; the cool as well as the quick and sharply speculating
merchant,--all these I have seen in motion; and I swear to you, that
there were few among them fitted to inspire me even with a sentiment of
toleration: on the contrary, I felt it altogether irksome to collect,
with tedium and annoyance, the suffrages of fools; to pocket those
applauses in detail, which in their accumulated state had so delighted
me, which in the gross I had appropriated with such pleasure.
"If I expected a rational compliment upon my acting, if I hoped that
they would praise an author whom I valued, they were sure to make one
empty observation on the back of another, and to name some vapid play in
which they wished to see me act. If I listened in their company, to hear
if some noble, brilliant, witty thought had met with a response among
them, and would re-appear from some of them in proper season, it was
rare that I could catch an echo of it. An error that had happened, a
mispronunciation, a provincialism of some actor, such were the weighty
points by which they held fast, beyond which they could not pass. I knew
not, in the end, to what hand I should turn: themselves they thought too
clever to be entertained; and me they imagined they were well
entertaining, if they romped and made noise enough about me. I began
very cordially to despise them all: I felt as if the whole nation had,
on purpose, deputed these people to debase it in my eyes. They appeared
to me so clownish, so ill-bred, so wretchedly instructed, so void of
pleasing qualities, so tasteless, I frequently exclaimed, "No German can
buckle his shoes, till he has learned to do it of some foreign nation!"
"You perceive how blind, how unjust and splenetic, I was; and, the
longer it lasted, my spleen increased. I might have killed myself with
these things, but I fell into the contrary extreme: I married, or,
rather, let myself be married. My brother, who had undertaken to conduct
the theatre, wished much to have a helper. His choice lighted on a young
man, who was not offensive to me, who wanted all that my brother
had,--genius, vivacity, spirit, and impetuosity of mind; but who also in
return had all that my brother wanted,--love of order, diligence, and
precious gifts in housekeeping, and the management of money.
"He became my husband, I know not how: we lived together, I do not well
know why. Suffice it to say, our affairs went prosperously forward. We
drew a large income: of this my brother's activity was the cause. We
lived with a moderate expenditure, and that was the merit of my husband.
I thought no more about world or nation. With the world I had nothing to
participate: my idea of the nation had faded away. When I entered on the
scene, I did so that I might subsist: I opened my lips because I durst
not continue silent, because I had come out to speak.
"Yet let me do the matter justice. I had altogether given myself up to
the disposal of my brother. His objects were, applause and money; for,
between ourselves, he has no dislike to hear his own praises; and his
outlay is always great. I no longer played according to my own feeling,
to my own conviction, but as he directed me; and, if I did it to his
satisfaction, I was content. He steered entirely by the caprices of the
public. Money flowed upon us: he could live according to his humor, and
so we had good times with him.
"Thus had I fallen into a dull, handicraft routine. I spun out my days
without joy or sympathy. My marriage was childless, and not of long
continuance. My husband grew sick; his strength was visibly decaying;
anxiety for him interrupted my general indifference. It was at this time
that I formed an acquaintance which opened a new life for me,--a new and
quicker one, for it will soon be done."
She kept silence for a time, and then continued, "All at once my
prattling humor falters: I have not the courage to go on. Let me rest a
little. You shall not go, till you have learned the whole extent of my
misfortune. Meanwhile, call in Mignon, and ask her what she wants."
The child had more than once been in the room, while Aurelia and our
friend were talking. As they spoke lower on her entrance, she had glided
out again, and was now sitting quietly in the hall, and waiting. Being
bid return, she brought a book with her, which its form and binding
showed to be a small geographical atlas. She had seen some maps, for the
first time, at the parson's house, with great astonishment; had asked
him many questions, and informed herself so far as possible about them.
Her desire to learn seemed much excited by this new branch of knowledge.
She now earnestly requested Wilhelm to purchase her the book; saying she
had pawned her large silver buckle with the print-seller for it, and
wished to have back the pledge to-morrow morning, as this evening it was
late. Her request was granted; and she then began repeating several
things she had already learned; at the same time, in her own way, making
many very strange inquiries. Here again one might observe, that, with a
mighty effort, she could comprehend but little and laboriously. So
likewise was it with her writing, at which she still kept busied. She
yet spoke very broken German: it was only when she opened her mouth to
sing, when she touched her cithern, that she seemed to be employing an
organ by which, in some degree, the workings of her mind could be
disclosed and communicated.
Since we are at present on the subject, we may also mention the
perplexity which Wilhelm had of late experienced from certain parts of
her procedure, When she came or went, wished him good-morning or
good-night, she clasped him so firmly in her arms, and kissed him with
such ardor, that often the violence of this expanding nature gave him
serious fears. The spasmodic vivacity of her demeanor seemed daily to
increase: her whole being moved in a restless stillness. She would never
be without some piece of packthread to twist in her hands, some napkin
to tie in knots, some paper or wood to chew. All her sports seemed but
the channels which drained off some inward violent commotion. The only
thing that seemed to cause her any cheerfulness was being near the boy
Felix, with whom she could go on in a very dainty manner.
Aurelia, after a little rest, being now ready to explain to her friend a
matter which lay very near her heart, grew impatient at the little
girl's delay, and signified that she must go,--a hint, however, which
the latter did not take; and at last, when nothing else would do, they
sent her off expressly and against her will.
"Now or never," said Aurelia, "must I tell you the remainder of my
story. Were my tenderly beloved and unjust friend but a few miles
distant, I would say to you, 'Mount on horseback, seek by some means to
get acquainted with him: on returning, you will certainly forgive me,
and pity me with all your heart.' As it is, I can only tell you with
words how amiable he was, and how much I loved him.
"It was at the critical season, when care for the illness of my husband
had depressed my spirits, that I first became acquainted with this
stranger. He had just returned from America, where, in company with some
Frenchmen, he had served with much distinction under the colors of the
United States.
"He addressed me with an easy dignity, a frank kindliness: he spoke
about myself, my state, my acting, like an old acquaintance, so
affectionately and distinctly, that now for the first time I enjoyed the
pleasure of perceiving my existence reflected in the being of another.
His judgments were just, though not severe; penetrating, yet not void of
love. He showed no harshness: his pleasantry was courteous, with all his
humor. He seemed accustomed to success with women; this excited my
attention: he was never in the least importunate or flattering; this put
me off my guard.
"In the town, he had intercourse with few: he was often on horseback,
visiting his many friends in the neighborhood, and managing the business
of his house. On returning, he would frequently alight at my
apartments; he treated my ever-ailing husband with warm attention; he
procured him mitigation of his sickness by a good physician. And, taking
part in all that interested me, he allowed me to take part in all that
interested him. He told me the history of his campaigns: he spoke of his
invincible attachment to military life, of his family relations, of his
present business. He kept no secret from me; he displayed to me his
inmost thoughts, allowed me to behold the most secret corners of his
soul: I became acquainted with his passions and his capabilities. It was
the first time in my life that I enjoyed a cordial, intellectual
intercourse with any living creature. I was attracted by him, borne
along by him, before I thought about inquiring how it stood with me.
"Meanwhile I lost my husband, nearly just as I had taken him. The burden
of theatrical affairs now fell entirely on me. My brother, not to be
surpassed upon the stage, was never good for any thing in economical
concerns: I took the charge of all, at the same time studying my parts
with greater diligence than ever. I again played as of old,--nay, with
new life, with quite another force. It was by reason of my friend, it
was on his account, that I did so; yet my success was not always best
when I knew him to be present. Once or twice he listened to me
unobserved, and how pleasantly his unexpected applauses surprised me you
may conceive.
"Certainly I am a strange creature. In every part I played, it seemed as
if I had been speaking it in praise of him; for that was the temper of
my heart, the words might be any thing they pleased. Did I understand
him to be present in the audience, I durst not venture to speak out with
all my force; just as I would not press my love or praise on him to his
face: was he absent, I had then free scope; I did my best, with a
certain peacefulness, with a contentment not to be described. Applause
once more delighted me; and, when I charmed the people, I longed to call
down among them, 'This you owe to him!'
"Yes: my relation to the public, to the nation, had been altered by a
wonder. On a sudden they again appeared to me in the most favorable
light: I felt astonished at my former blindness.
"'How foolish,' said I often to myself, 'was it to revile a
nation,--foolish, simply because it was a nation. Is it necessary, is it
possible, that individual men should generally interest us much? Not at
all! The only question is, whether in the great mass there exists a
sufficient quantity of talent, force, and capability, which lucky
circumstances may develop, which men of lofty minds may direct upon a
common object.' I now rejoiced in discovering so little prominent
originality among my countrymen; I rejoiced that they disdained not to
accept of guidance from without; I rejoiced that they had found a
leader.
"Lothario,--allow me to designate my friend by this, his first name,
which I loved,--Lothario had always presented the Germans to my mind on
the side of valor, and shown me, that, when well commanded, there was no
braver nation on the face of the earth; and I felt ashamed that I had
never thought of this, the first quality of a people. History was known
to him: he was in connection and correspondence with the most
distinguished persons of the age. Young as he was, his eye was open to
the budding youthhood of his native country, to the silent labors of
active and busy men in so many provinces of art. He afforded me a
glimpse of Germany,--what it was and what it might be; and I blushed at
having formed my judgment of a nation from the motley crowd that squeeze
into the wardrobe of a theatre. He made me look upon it as a duty that I
too, in my own department, should be true, spirited, enlivening. I now
felt as if inspired every time I stepped upon the boards. Mediocre
passages grew golden in my mouth: had any poet been at hand to support
me adequately, I might have produced the most astonishing effects.
"So lived the young widow for a series of months. He could not do
without me, and I felt exceedingly unhappy when he staid away. He showed
me the letters he received from his relations, from his amiable sister.
He took an interest in the smallest circumstance that concerned me: more
complete, more intimate, no union ever was than ours. The name of love
was not mentioned. He went and came, came and went. And now, my friend,
it is high time that you, too, should go."