While all these occurrences went on in every-day life, I continued my
studies in Swedenborg--that is to say, his works, which are hard to
procure, fell into my hands one after the other, at very long intervals.
In the _Arcana Coelestia_, hell is represented as everlasting,
without any hope of an end, and bare of every word of comfort. The
_Apocalypses Revelata_ expounds a method of systematic penance, and the
result was that I lived under its spell till the spring. Sometimes I
shook it off while I entertained the hope that the Prophet was deceived
in details, and that the Lord of Life and Death would show Himself
more merciful. But what cannot be denied is the startling coincidence
between Swedenborg's visions, and all events great or small which have
happened to me and my friends during this year of terror.
It was not till March that I found in an antiquarian bookseller's shop
_The Wonders of Heaven and Hell_ and _Conjugal Love_. Not till then was
I freed from the spiritual burden that had secretly oppressed me ever
since I first became aware of the Invisible. In them I learned that
God is Love. He does not reign over slaves, and has therefore bestowed
on mortals the gift of free will. Evil has no independent power, but
is a servant of God, fulfilling the functions of a disciplinary force.
Punishments are not endless; every one is free to expiate by patience
the wrongs which he has done. The sufferings which are, imposed upon us
are intended to improve our character. The operations which constitute
the preparation for a spiritual life begin with "Devastation"
(vastatio), and consist in constriction of the chest, difficulty of
breathing, symptoms of suffocation, heart affections, terrible attacks
of fear, sleeplessness, nightmare. This process, which Swedenborg
underwent in the years 1744 and 1745, is described in his book Dreams.
The diagnosis of this kind of illness corresponds in every point to
the ailments which are just now so common, so that I do not shrink
from drawing the conclusion that we are approaching a new era in which
there will be spiritual awakening, and it will be a joy to live. Angina
pectoris, sleeplessness, nightly terrors, all these symptoms which
doctors wish to class as epidemic, are nothing else but the work of
unseen powers. For how can the systematic persecution of healthy men
by unprecedented bizarre occurrences, disturbances and annoyances be
regarded as an epidemic sickness? An epidemic of coincidences? That is
certainly absurd.
* * * * *
Swedenborg has become my Virgil, who guides me through hell, and I
follow him blindly. He certainly is a terrible chastiser, but he knows
also how to comfort, and he seems to me less severe than the Protestant
theologians. "A man may amass riches, if he does so honestly and
uses them honestly; he may clothe himself and live according to his
means; he may hold intercourse with people of the same social standing
as himself, enjoy the innocent pleasures of life, look joyful and
contented, and not morose. He can, in a word, live and act like a rich
man in this world, and after he dies go straight to heaven, if only in
his heart he has faith in God and love to Him, and behaves as he should
towards his neighbour."
"I have met several of those who, before they died, had renounced the
world and retired into solitude, in order to devote themselves to
the contemplation of heavenly things, and thereby to make themselves
a surer path to heaven. They nearly all had a gloomy and depressed
appearance, seemed to be annoyed that others were not like them, and
that they themselves were not rewarded with greater honour and a
happier lot. They live in hidden places, like hermits, almost in the
same way as they had lived in our world. Man is created to live in
harmony with others; in society and not in solitude he finds numerous
opportunities of exercising Christian mildness towards his neighbours."
In solitude one only contemplates oneself, forgetting all others.
Consequently one thinks only of oneself, or of the world, in order to
avoid it or to feel the want of it, which is the opposite of Christian
love.
As regards the so-called everlasting punishments, at the last moment,
the seer appears as a deliverer, and allows a ray of hope to dawn on
us. He says, "Those among them, for whose deliverance one may hope, are
set in waste places, which only afford a picture of desolation. They
are left there till their sorrow has darkened into despair, because
this is the only means to conquer the evil and falsehood which rule
them. Arrived at this point, they cry out that they are no better than
animals, that they are full of hate and all kinds of abomination, and
that they are damned. These exclamations are pardoned them, as being
cries of despair, and God softens their mood, so that their expressions
of reproach and abuse do not transgress the assigned limits. When
they have suffered all that can be suffered, so that their bodies
are also dead, they are troubled no more about it, and are prepared
for deliverance. I have seen some of them taken to heaven after they
have been visited with all the sufferings of which I have spoken.
When they were admitted, they displayed such great joy that I was
moved to tears." What the Catholics call "_conscientia scrupulosa_,"
a tender conscience, is caused by malicious spirits, who induce pangs
of conscience for nothing at all. They delight in laying a load on
the conscience, and this state has nothing to do with the improvement
of the sinner. In a similar way there are unwholesome temptations.
Evil spirits evoke in the depth of the soul all the evil it has
committed since childhood, and bring its worst side uppermost. But the
angels discover all the good and true which they can in the exhausted
soul. That is the strife which is revealed under the name, "pangs of
conscience."
I stop here, because I do my Master an injustice by tearing asunder
the web which he has so well woven together, and by exhibiting the
fragments as samples. Swedenborg's work is one of enormous compass, and
he has answered all my questions, however presumptuous they may have
been. Disquiet soul, suffering heart, "_Take up and read_."