He wheeled, went back into the bedroom, and took the rifle from the pegs
where he had hung it. His brain was on fire, so that priming and loading
the weapon were mechanical functions which he knew nothing about but
which he did well because he had done them so often. Not seeing anything
else, aware only that destroyers had come to take that which rightly
belonged to Joe's family, he leaned against the door jamb and took
careful aim at the black steer. His finger tightened on the trigger when
Emma's voice cut through the red mists that seethed in his brain.
"No, Joe!"
She looked almost ill, but there was desperation in her words that was
far more effective than any physical barrier. She spoke again.
"It is not the way."
The red rage that flamed in his brain burned less hotly. He lowered the
gun so that its stock rested on the floor, and looked from her to the
destroying cattle. Then sanity reasserted itself. He put the rifle back
on its pegs and said dully,
"I'll drive them away."
Joe strode toward the cattle with Tad's dog at his heels. He was well
aware that it was futile to drive the raiders away for there was no more
damage to be done. Yet he knew that the cattle did not belong where they
were, and since there was no one else to chase them, he must.
The rangy black steer in the corn patch looked at him with mildly
surprised eyes as Joe approached. He caught up a fallen corn stalk,
slashed viciously at the animal's rump, and the steer galloped off to
join those in the oat field. A blocky white and black cow with a calf at
her heels bolted toward the end of the field and the rest followed. They
crowded clumsily through the hedge that marked the boundary of Joe's
land and went back into their pasture. There they all stopped to look,
as though telling him that they knew they'd done wrong but informing him
that they had a right to be where they were. When Joe did not pursue
them any farther, the cattle wandered toward their water hole and Joe
noted mechanically that there were many more than there had been. Pete
had several herds which he kept in different pastures. Probably, guided
by the mysterious senses which animals possess and which no man can
explain, one or more of the other herds had come to join the cattle Pete
kept here and together they had organized the raid.
Joe tossed his head furiously, and the veins in his head and neck were
so taut that they stood out and throbbed visibly. The old restlessness
returned with a force so overwhelming that it was almost impossible to
resist it. He felt himself grow huge, and it seemed that if he took a
step in one direction he would be right among the marauding cattle. A
step in the other direction would be sure to bring him face to face with
Elias Dorrance. There was no place to take his family where they would
not be hemmed in and preyed upon by something. Unaccountably he thought
of that night when he had walked to Tenney's store and looked at the
stars that never shouldered each other aside. Joe voiced his explosive
thoughts to the startled dog:
"This place is just too blasted small!"
The dog at his heels, Joe walked back to the house. Crushing
disappointment was a luxury, and he had never been able to afford
luxuries. And the past was forever lost, and now this belonged to the
past. The fields could be plowed and planted again, and with luck the
crops would mature before frost killed them.
Joe looked at Emma, still standing mutely in the doorway, and a hot
knife turned in his heart. She seemed, with her eyes, to be asking him
for forgiveness. If they'd gone west when he wanted to go, they
wouldn't be faced now with the destruction of the whole summer's work.
He could see in Emma's eyes the fear that things would get even worse
than they were, that the new crop that Joe would start to plant now
might be lost just as the present crop was already lost, and that they
would go into the winter with no money, no feed for the animals, no
provisions for the family.
He groped for words to comfort her, and could think of only,
"I chased them. Everything's all right now."
"I--I'm terribly sorry, Joe." Her voice trembled.
"Now don't you go fretting your head! I'll get new crops in!"