ACT I

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HE WHO GETS SLAPPED

[Illustration: _Setting by Lee Simonson_

_Photograph by Francis Bruguierre_

A SCENE FROM THE THEATRE GUILD PRODUCTION]

He Who Gets Slapped

A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS

BY LEONID ANDREYEV

TRANSLATED FROM THE RUSSIAN

WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY

GREGORY ZILBOORG

[Illustration: colophon]

NEW YORK

BRENTANO'S

Publishers

COPYRIGHT, 1922, BY

BRENTANO'S

COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY

THE DIAL PUBLISHING COMPANY

_All rights reserved_

_Printed in the United States of America_

The first regular production of HE in English was by The Theatre Guild

on January 9, 1922, at the Garrick Theatre, New York. The original cast

was as follows:

_Tilly_ } { Philip Leigh

_Polly_ } _Musical Clowns_ { Edgar Stehli

_Briquet, Manager of the Circus_ Ernest Cossart

_Mancini, Consuelo's Father_ Frank Reicher

_Zinida, a Lion Tamer_ Helen Westley

_Angelica_ } _Trapeze Performers_ { Martha Bryan Allen

_Estelle_ } { Helen Sheridan

_Francois_ Edwin R. Wolfe

_HE_ Richard Bennett

_Jackson, a Clown_ Henry Travers

_Consuelo, the Equestrian Tango Queen_ Margalo Gillmore

_Alfred Bezano, a Bareback Rider_ John Rutherford

_Baron Regnard_ Louis Calvert

_A Gentleman_ John Blair

_Wardrobe Lady_ Kathryn Wilson

_Usher_ Charles Cheltenham

_Conductor_ Edwin R. Wolfe

_Pierre_ Philip Loeb

_A Sword Dancer_ Renee Wilde

_Ballet Master_ Oliver Grymes

{ Vera Tompkins

{ Anne Tonnetti

_Ballet Girls_ { Marguerite Wernimont

{ Frances Ryan

_Actresses in Circus Pantomime_ { Adele St. Maur

{ Sara Enright

_Thomas, a Strong Man_ Dante Voltaire

_A Snake Charmer_ Joan Clement

_A Contortionist_ Richard Coolidge

_A Riding Master_ Kenneth Lawton

_A Juggler_ Francis G. Sadtler

_Acrobats_ { Sears Taylor

{ Luigi Belastro

_Stage Manager_, Philip Loeb _Ass't Stage Manager_, Oliver Grymes

_Produced under the direction of_ ROBERT MILTON

_Settings and Costumes by_ LEE SIMONSON

"Stage, screen, and amateur rights for the translation and the

original play in all English-speaking countries are owned and

controlled by The Theatre Guild, 65 West 35th St., New York City.

No public readings or performances may be given without their

written consent."

INTRODUCTION

Leonid Andreyev as a literary figure was born in the gloomy atmosphere

of depression of the 'nineties. He thus appeared upon the literary stage

at a period when the old and splendid generation of Turgenev and

Dostoevsky had already passed away and when Chekhov had begun to

demonstrate before the reader the gloom and colourlessness of Russia

life.

This was a period when the social forces of Russia were half destroyed

by the reaction under Alexander III, and when the young generation was

trying to rest and to get away from the strain of social hopes and

despair. This period, briefly speaking, was a period of melancholy, of

commonplace, every-day preoccupations, and of dull _terre a terre_

philosophy.

It must be borne in mind that literature was the only outlet for the

moral and intellectual forces of Russia. Political reaction, censorship,

complete absence of civil liberties, and the cult of popular ignorance

upon which Czardom based its power, all these made the written artistic

word almost the sole expression of Russian social longings and

idealistic expectations.

It is therefore only natural that Russian literature in its general

development is closely interwoven with the political and social

conditions of Russia at the given moment. The 'nineties were a period of

depression. After the assassination of Alexander II (1881) and the

subsequent tightening of the chain of reaction, combined with a general

_debacle_ in progressive and radical circles, the Russian intellectual

fell into a state of pessimism. His faith in an early liberation was

shattered, his hope of recovery was broken. Chekhov is the most

characteristic representative of that period; he himself called his

heroes "the dull-grey people."

Maxim Gorki and Leonid Andreyev appeared almost simultaneously at that

time. The former brought the message of a rebel spirit which forecast a

new moral upheaval, a new social protest; the latter appeared clad in

the gloom of his time, which he strangely combined with a spirit of

almost anarchistic revolt. From the point of view of historical

completeness Leonid Andreyev is more representative of the epoch,

demonstrating at once two contradictory elements of the Russia of the

'nineties: lack or even absence of faith interwoven with protest and

mutiny.

Andreyev is symbolic and romantic. Her Majesty Fate and His Excellency

Accident, these are the two dark, unknown, at times brutal forces which

dwelt ever before the mind's eye. His symbols are full of horror and at

times unbending atrocity. Beginning with his short stories, In Fog, The

Life of Basil of Thebes, through his dramas, The Life of Man, and

Anathema, until his last writings, he saw human beings in the form of

ghosts and ghosts in the form of human beings dominating every step,

every breath of life. Still his gruesome symbolism, despite his genius

for rendering his images in a clear-cut, almost crystalline manner, did

not appeal to many of his contemporaries because the dark shroud in

which Andreyev enveloped life was impenetrable and at times it was

impossible to discern in that gloom the few values which Andreyev still

found in life. Leo Tolstoy said once: "Leonid Andreyev tries to frighten

me, but I am not afraid."

Even in his splendid realistic dramas it is difficult for Andreyev to

rid himself of the habit of symbolizing and dimming the few rays of

light which try to filter through.

There was nevertheless a little corner in Andreyev's artistic heart

where there appeared some indefinite hope which never acquired a

specific artistic form, but which was alluded to many times in his

writings. In his short story, Thought, he makes fragmentary allusions to

his half-hope, half-idea: "If the lot of the Man be to become a God, his

throne will be the Book," says the hero.

But the red laugh of the Russo-Japanese war, the abortive revolution of

1905, the general ignorance and darkness of the masses, the strain of

the last war, the depreciation of human life as a value in itself,

brought Leonid Andreyev to the last step of the pessimistic ladder which

he was ever descending into the abyss of hopelessness. This state of

mind is best illustrated by his last dramatic work, HE, the One Who Gets

Slapped.

Here we see a man of high education, of great intellectual achievement,

who leaves life, willingly in appearance, but forcibly in fact. The

relations of man to man, of group to group, according to Andreyev are

such that the Man is forced to efface himself. Even Thought, or the

Book, could not help the Man to become a God. He becomes a clown. He

performs stunts, he gets slaps; the public laughs, being unaware that

this laughter is a mockery at itself, at its culture, at its thought, at

its achievement.

The characters of the play, as the reader will see, are depicted with a

bitter sarcasm and unfriendliness, for Andreyev seems to have lost his

last faith in the Man. The good, the innocent and clean heart is bound

to suffer and die. His Consuelo, Zinida, Bezano are only stray rays of

light out of place in the world and even in the world-circus which is

full of spiders, champagne, and human outcasts. Andreyev does not blame

these outcasts. On the contrary, he feels sympathy, if for anybody, for

just these clowns, jugglers, and bareback-riders; but life, this

strange combination of fate, accident, and cowardly slander, is

stronger, and they collapse under the burden of this combination.

HE is perhaps the best work of Andreyev, at any rate his best dramatic

work. It is more adapted to stage conditions than his previous plays and

is not overcrowded with symbolic ghosts. Furthermore, HE is a remarkable

summary of Andreyev's philosophy.

GREGORY ZILBOORG

HE WHO GETS SLAPPED

CAST OF CHARACTERS

CONSUELO--_a bareback rider in a circus_.

_Billed as "The Bareback Tango Queen."_

MANCINI--_Consuelo's father_.

HE--_a clown in Briquet's circus_. _Billed as "HE Who Gets Slapped."_

BRIQUET--_Manager of the circus_.

ZINIDA--_a lion tamer, Briquet's wife_.

ALFRED BEZANO--_a bareback rider_.

A GENTLEMAN.

BARON REGNARD.

JACKSON--_a clown_.

TILLY }

POLLY }--_musical clowns_.

THOMAS, ANGELICA, _and other actors and actresses

of Briquet's circus_.

_The action takes place in one of the large cities of France._

HE WHO GETS SLAPPED

ACT I

_A very large, rather dirty room, with whitewashed walls. To the left,

in a niche, is a window, the only outside window in the room, opening on

a court-yard. The light from it is so dim that even by day the

electricity has to be turned on._

_At the very top of the centre-back wall is a row of small dusty

windows. They open on the circus hall. At night, when the performance is

going on, a bright light shines through. By day they are dark. In the

same wall is a large white door, reached by two stone steps, and nailed

fast._

_On the right, almost in the corner, is a high, wide, arched doorway

which leads to the stables and the ring. By day it opens into pale

darkness, at night into pale light._

_The room is used for many purposes. It is the office of Papa Briquet,

manager of the circus; here he keeps his little desk. It is the

cloak-room of some of the actors. It is also the room where the cast

gathers between calls, during rehearsals or performances. Again, it is a

check-room for used circus property, such as gilt armchairs, scenery

for pantomimes, and other wares of the circus household. The walls are

covered with circus announcements and glaring posters._

_The time is morning. In the circus hall a rehearsal is going on, and

preparations are being made for the evening performance. As the curtain

goes up, the cracking whip and the shouts of the riding-master are heard

from the ring. The stage is empty for a few seconds, then enter Tilly

and Polly, the musical clowns, practising a new march. Playing on tiny

pipes, they step from the dark doorway to the window. Their music is

agreeable to the ear, but small, mincing, artificially clown-like, like

their mincing steps; they wear jackets and resemble each other; same

smooth-shaven face, same height; Tilly, the younger, has a scarf around

his neck; both have their derbies on the backs of their heads. Tilly

glances through the window, then they turn about, still marching._

POLLY

[_Interrupting the march_]: Stop, you're out again! Now, listen--[_He

stands close to Tilly and plays into his face. Tilly absent-mindedly

listens, scratching his nose._] There! Come on now! [_They resume their

music and marching. As they reach the door they meet the manager and_

MANCINI; _the latter walks behind the manager, and is gnawing at the

knob of his goldmounted cane_. COUNT MANCINI _is tall and slight. The

seams of his clothes are worn and he keeps his coat buttoned tight. He

assumes extremely graceful manners, takes affected poses, and has a

special fondness for toying with his cane, with aristocratic

stylishness. When he laughs, which happens often, his thin sharp face

takes on a marked resemblance to a satyr. The manager_, "PAPA" BRIQUET,

_is a stout quiet man of average height_. _His bearing is hesitant. The

clowns make room for the gentlemen. The manager looks questioningly at

the older man._]

POLLY

[_With an affected accent_]: Our moosic for the pantomime! The March of

the Ants!

BRIQUET

Ha! Yes!

[_The gentlemen walk in. The clowns resume their music_, POLLY

_marching on, then turning, the younger following._]

POLLY

Papa Briquet, Jack is working very badly to-day.

BRIQUET

What's the matter with him?

POLLY

He has a sore throat. You'd better take a look at him.

BRIQUET

All right. Come on, Jack. Open your mouth! Wider--wider. [_Turns clown's

face to the light near the window and examines him closely and

seriously._] Just smear it with iodine.

POLLY

I told him so. I said it was nothing! Oh! Come on. [_They go away

playing, marching, practising their funny mincing steps. The manager

sits down._ MANCINI _strikes a pose by the wall, smiling ironically._]

MANCINI

So. You give them medical treatment, too! Look out, Papa Briquet, you

have no licence.

BRIQUET

Just a little advice. They're all so afraid for their lives.

MANCINI

His throat is simply burnt with whiskey. These two fellows get drunk

every night. I am amazed, Papa Briquet, to see you pay so little

attention to their morals. [_He laughs._]

BRIQUET

You make me sick, Mancini.

MANCINI

Count Mancini is at your service!

BRIQUET

You make me sick, Count Mancini. You poke your nose into everything, you

disturb the artists in their work. Some day you'll get a thrashing, and

I warn you that I shan't interfere.

MANCINI

As a man of superior associations and education I cannot be expected to

treat your actors as my equals! What more can you ask, Briquet? You see

that I do you the honour of speaking with you quite familiarly, quite

simply.

BRIQUET

Ha! ha! ha! [_Slightly threatening_] Really!--

MANCINI

Never mind my joke. What if they did dare attack me--ever seen this,

Briquet? [_He draws a stiletto out of his cane and advances it

silently._] Useful little thing. By the way, you have no idea of the

discovery I made yesterday in a suburb. Such a girl! [_Laughs._] Oh,

well! all right, all right--I know you don't like that sort of sport.

But look here, you must give me a hundred francs!

BRIQUET

Not a sou.

MANCINI

Then I'll take away Consuelo--that's all----

BRIQUET

Your daily threat!

MANCINI

Yes, my threat! And you would do the same, if you were as shamefully

hard up as I am. Now look here, you know as well as I do that I have to

live up to my name somehow, keep up the family reputation. Just because

the tide of ill-fortune which struck my ancestors compelled me to make

my daughter, the Countess Veronica, a bareback rider--to keep us from

starving--do you understand--you heartless idiot!

BRIQUET

You chase the girls too much! Some day you'll land in jail, Mancini!

MANCINI

In jail? Oh, no! Why, I have to uphold our _name_, the splendour of my

family, [_laughs_] haven't I? The Mancinis are known all over Italy for

their love of girls--just girls! Is it my fault if I must pay such crazy

prices for what my ancestors got free of charge? You're nothing but an

ass, a _parvenu_ ass. How can you understand Family Traditions? I don't

drink--I stopped playing cards after that accident--no, you need not

smile. Now if I give up the girls, what will be left of Mancini? Only a

coat of arms, that's all---- In the name of family traditions,

give me a hundred francs!

BRIQUET

I told you no, I won't.

MANCINI

You know that I leave half of the salary for Consuelo--but--perhaps you

think I do not love my child--my only daughter, all that remains to me

as a memory of her sainted mother--what cruelty! [_Pretends to cry,

wipes his eyes with a small and dirty lace handkerchief, embroidered

with a coronet._]

BRIQUET

Why don't you say, rather, that she is foolish enough to give you half

her salary. You make me sick----

[_Enter Zinida, the lion tamer; burningly beautiful, her self-confident,

commanding gestures at first glance give an impression of languor. She

is_ BRIQUET'S _unmarried wife._]

ZINIDA

[_To_ MANCINI]: Good morning.

MANCINI

Madame Zinida! This barbarian, this brute may pierce me with his dagger,

but I cannot control the expression of my love! [_Kneels facetiously

before her_] Madame! Count Mancini has the honour of asking you to be

his wife....

ZINIDA

[_To_ BRIQUET]: Money?

BRIQUET

Yes.

ZINIDA

Don't give him any. [_Sits down wearily on a torn sofa, shuts her eyes.

MANCINI gets up and wipes his knees._]

MANCINI

Duchess! Don't be cruel. I am no lion, no tiger, no savage beast which

you are accustomed to tame. I am merely a poor domestic animal, who

wants, miaow, miaow, a little green grass.

ZINIDA

[_Without opening her eyes_]: Jim tells me you have a teacher for

Consuelo. What for?

MANCINI

The solicitude of a father, duchess, the solicitude and the tireless

anxiety of a loving heart. The extreme misfortunes of our family, when I

was a child, have left some flaws in her education. Friends, the

daughter of Count Mancini, Countess Veronica, can barely read! Is that

admissible? And you, Briquet, heartless brute, you still ask why I need

money!

ZINIDA

Artful!

BRIQUET

What are you teaching her?

MANCINI

Everything. A student had been giving her lessons, but I threw him out

yesterday. He had the nerve to fall in love with Consuelo and stood

there miaowing at the door like a cat. Everything, Briquet, that you

don't know--literature, mythology, orthography----

[_Two young actresses appear, with small fur coats thrown over their

light dresses. They are tired and sit down in the corner._]

MANCINI

I do not wish my daughter----

ZINIDA

Artful!

BRIQUET

You are stupid, Mancini. What do you do it for? [_In a didactic tone_]

You are fearfully stupid, Mancini. Why does she need to learn? Since she

is here she need never know anything about that life. Don't you

understand? What is geography? If I were the government I would forbid

artists to read books. Let them read the posters, that's enough.

[_During_ BRIQUET'S _speech, the two clowns and another actor

enter. They sit down wearily._]

BRIQUET

Right now, your Consuelo is an excellent artist, but just as soon as you

teach her mythology, and she begins to read, she'll become a nuisance,

she'll be corrupted, and then she'll go and poison herself. I know those

books, I've read 'em myself. All they teach is corruption, and how to

kill oneself.

FIRST ACTRESS

I love the novels that come out in the newspaper.

BRIQUET

That shows what a foolish girl you are. You'll be done for in no time.

Believe me, my friends, we must forget entirely what is happening out

there. How can we understand all that goes on there?

MANCINI

You are an enemy of enlightenment, you are an obscurantist, Briquet.

BRIQUET

And you are stupid. You are from out there. What has it taught you?

[_The actors laugh._] If you'd been born in a circus as I was, you'd

know something. Enlightenment is plain nonsense--nothing else. Ask

Zinida. She knows everything they teach out there--geography,

mythology---- Does it make her any happier? You tell them, dear.

ZINIDA

Leave me alone, Louis.

MANCINI

[_Angrily_]: Oh! Go to the devil! When I listen to your asinine

philosophy, I'd like to skin you for more than a paltry hundred

francs--for two hundred--for a thousand. Great God! What an ass of a

manager! Yes, right before every one of them I want to say that you are

a stingy old skinflint--that you pay starvation wages. I'll make you

give Consuelo a raise of a hundred francs. Listen, all you honest

vagabonds, tell me--who is it draws the crowd that fills the circus

every night? You? a couple of musical donkeys? Tigers, lions? Nobody

cares for those hungry cats!

ZINIDA

Leave the tigers alone.

MANCINI

Beg your pardon, Zinida. I did not mean to hurt your feelings--honestly.

I really marvel at your furious audacity--at your grace--you are a

heroine--I kiss your tiny hands. But what do they understand about

heroism? [_An orchestra softly plays the Tango in the circus. He

continues with enthusiasm._] Hear! hear! Now tell me, honest vagabonds,

who but Consuelo and Bezano draws the crowds! That Tango on

horseback--it is--it is---- Oh, the devil! Even his fatuousness

the Pope could not withstand its lure.

POLLY

True! It's a great trick--wasn't the idea Bezano's?

MANCINI

Idea! Idea! The lad's in love, like a cat--that's the idea. What's the

good of an idea without a woman! You wouldn't dance very far with your

idea alone, eh, Papa Briquet?

BRIQUET

We have a contract.

MANCINI

Such base formalities.

ZINIDA

Give him ten francs and let him go.

MANCINI

Ten! Never! _Fifteen!_ Don't be stubborn, Papa. For the traditions of my

house--twenty. I swear--on my honour--I can't do with less. [BRIQUET

_hands him twenty francs. Nonchalantly_] _Merci._ Thanks.

ZINIDA

Why don't you take it from your baron?

MANCINI

[_Raising his eyebrows haughtily, quite indignant_]: From the Baron?

Woman! who do you think I am that I should be beholden to a stranger?

ZINIDA

You're plotting something artful. I know you very little, but I guess

you're an awful scoundrel.

MANCINI

[_Laughs_]: Such an insult from such beautiful lips.

[_Enter an "artist," apparently an athlete._]

ATHLETE

Papa Briquet, there's a gentleman from beyond the grave asking for you.

ACTRESS

A ghost?

ATHLETE

No. He seems alive. Did you ever see a drunken ghost?

BRIQUET

If he's drunk, tell him I'm out, Thomas. Does he want to see me or the

Count?

ATHLETE

No, you. Maybe he's not drunk, but just a ghost.

MANCINI

[_Draws himself together, puffs up_]: A society man?

ATHLETE

Yes. I'll tell him to come in.

[_One hears the whip cracking in the ring. The Tango sounds very

low and distant--then comes nearer--louder. Silence._]

BRIQUET

[_Touching_ ZINIDA'S _arm_]: Tired?

ZINIDA

[_Drawing back a little_]: No.

POLLY

Your red lion is nervous to-day, Zinida!

ZINIDA

You shouldn't tease him.

POLLY

I played a melody from Traviata for him. And he sang with me. Wouldn't

that be a good trick to stage, Papa Briquet?

[THOMAS _brings in the gentleman, points out the manager, and goes

heavily away. The gentleman is not young, and he is ugly, but his

rather strange face is bold and lively. He wears an expensive

overcoat, with a fur collar, and holds his hat and gloves in his

hand._]

GENTLEMAN

[_Bowing and smiling_]: Have I the pleasure of addressing the manager?

BRIQUET

Yes. Won't you sit down, please? Tilly, bring a chair.

GENTLEMAN

Oh! Don't trouble. [_Looks around._] These are your artists? Very

glad----

MANCINI

[_Straightening and bowing slightly_]: Count Mancini.

GENTLEMAN

[_Surprised_]: Count?

BRIQUET

[_Indignantly_]: Yes, Count. And whom have I the honour of----

GENTLEMAN

I don't quite know myself--yet. As a rule you choose your own names,

don't you? I have not chosen yet. Later you might advise me about it. I

have an idea already, but I am afraid it sounds too much like

literature--you know.

BRIQUET

Literature?

GENTLEMAN

Yes! Too sophisticated. [_They all look surprised._] I presume these two

gentlemen are clowns? I am so glad. May I shake hands with them?

[_Stands up and shakes hands with clowns, who make silly faces._]

BRIQUET

Excuse me--but what can I do for you?

GENTLEMAN

[_With the same pleasant, confident smile_]: Oh. You do something for

me? No. I want to do something for you, Papa Briquet.

BRIQUET

_Papa_ Briquet? But you don't look like----

GENTLEMAN

[_Reassuringly_]: It's all right. I shall become "like." These two

gentlemen just made remarkable faces. Would you like to see me imitate

them? Look! [_He makes the same silly faces as the clowns._]

BRIQUET

Yes! [_Involuntarily_] You are not drunk, sir?

GENTLEMAN

No. I don't drink as a rule. Do I look drunk?

POLLY

A little.

GENTLEMAN

No--I don't drink. It is a peculiarity of my talent.

BRIQUET

[_Familiarly_]: Where did you work before? Juggler?

GENTLEMAN

No. But I am glad you feel in me a comrade, Papa Briquet. Unfortunately

I am not a juggler, and have worked nowhere--I am--just so.

MANCINI

But you look like a society man.

GENTLEMAN

Oh, you flatter me, Count. I am just so.

BRIQUET

Well, what do you want? You see I am obliged to tell you that everything

is taken.

GENTLEMAN

That's immaterial. I want to be a clown, if you will allow me. [_Some of

the actors smile_, BRIQUET _begins to grow angry_.]

BRIQUET

But what can you do? You're asking too much. What can you do?

GENTLEMAN

Why! Nothing! Isn't that funny! I can't do a thing.

BRIQUET

No, it's not funny. Any scoundrel knows that much.

GENTLEMAN

[_Rather helpless, but still smiling and looking around_]: We can invent

something----

BRIQUET

[_Ironically_]: From literature?

[_The clown Jackson enters slowly without being noticed by the others.

He stands behind the gentlemen._]

GENTLEMAN

Yes, one can find something literary, too. A nice little speech for

instance on, let's say, a religious topic. Something like a debate among

the clowns.

BRIQUET

A debate! The devil! This is no academy.

GENTLEMAN

[_Sadly_]: I am very sorry. Something else then. Perhaps a joke about

the creation of the world and its rulers?

BRIQUET

What about the police? No, no--nothing like that!

JACKSON

[_Coming forward_]: The rulers of the world? You don't like them? I

don't either. Shake.

BRIQUET

[_Introducing_]: Our chief clown, the famous Jackson.

GENTLEMAN

[_Enthusiastically_]: Great heavens--you! Allow me to shake hands with

you heartily! You, with your genius, you have given me so much joy!

JACKSON

I'm glad indeed!

BRIQUET

[_Shrugs his shoulders; to Jackson_]: He wants to be a clown! Look him

over, Jim.

[_Jackson makes a motion at which the gentleman hurriedly removes

his coat and throws it on a chair. He is ready for the examination.

Jackson turns him round, looking him over critically._]

JACKSON

Clown? Hm! Turn round then. Clown? Yes? Now smile. Wider--broader--do

you call that a smile? So--that's better. There is something, yes--but

for full developments---- [_Sadly_]: Probably you can't even turn a

somersault?

GENTLEMAN

[_Sighs_]: No.

JACKSON

How old are you?

GENTLEMAN

Thirty-nine. Too late? [_Jackson moves away with a whistle. There is a

silence._]

ZINIDA

[_Softly_]: Take him.

BRIQUET

[_Indignant_]: What the hell shall I do with him if he doesn't know a

thing? He's drunk!

GENTLEMAN

Honestly I am not. Thank you for your support, Madame. Are you not the

famous Zinida, the lion tamer, whose regal beauty and audacity----

ZINIDA

Yes. But I do not like flattery.

GENTLEMAN

It is not flattery.

MANCINI

You are evidently not accustomed to good society, my dear. Flattery?

This gentleman expresses his admiration in sincere and beautiful

words--and you--you are not educated, Zinida. As for myself----

[_Enter CONSUELO and BEZANO in circus costume._]

CONSUELO

You here, Daddy?

MANCINI

Yes, my child, you are not tired? [_Kisses her on the forehead._] My

daughter, sir, Countess Veronica. Known on the stage as Consuelo, The

Bareback Tango Queen. Did you ever see her?

GENTLEMAN

I have enjoyed her work. It is marvellous!

MANCINI

Yes! Of course. Everyone admits it. And how do you like the name,

Consuelo? I took it from the novel of George Sand. It means

"Consolation."

GENTLEMAN

What a wonderful knowledge of books!

MANCINI

A small thing. Despite your strange intention, I can see, sir, that you

are a gentleman. My peer! Let me explain to you, that only the strange

and fatal misfortunes of our ancient family--"_sic transit gloria

mundi_," sir.

CONSUELO

It's a bore, Daddy---- Where's my handkerchief, Alfred?

BEZANO

Here it is.

CONSUELO

[_Showing the handkerchief to the gentleman_]: Genuine Venetian. Do you

like it?

GENTLEMAN

[_Again bowing_]: My eyes are dazzled, how beautiful! Papa Briquet, the

more I look around me the more I want to stay with you. [_Makes the face

of a simpleton._] On the one hand a count, on the other----

JACKSON

[_Nods approval_]: That's not bad. Look here, think a bit--find

something. Everyone here thinks for himself.

[_Silence. The gentleman stands with a finger on his forehead,

thinking._]

GENTLEMAN

Find something--find something ... Eureka!

POLLY

That means _found_. Come!

GENTLEMAN

Eureka---- I shall be among you, he who gets slapped. [_General

laughter. Even_ BRIQUET _smiles_.]

GENTLEMAN

[Looks at them smiling]: You see I made even you laugh--is that easy?

[_All grow serious. Polly sighs._]

TILLY

No, it's not easy. Did you laugh, Polly?

POLLY

Sure, a lot. Did you?

TILLY

I did. [_Imitating an instrument, he plays with his lips a melody at

once sad and gay._]

JACKSON

"He Who Gets Slapped," that's not bad.

GENTLEMAN

It's not, is it? I rather like it myself. It suits my talent. And

comrades, I have even found a name--you'll call me "HE." Is that all

right?

JACKSON

[_Thinking_]: "HE"--Not bad.

CONSUELO

[_In a singing, melodic voice_]: "HE" is so funny--"HE"--like a dog.

Daddy, are there such dogs?

[_Jackson suddenly gives a circus slap to the gentleman. HE steps

back and grows pale._]

GENTLEMAN

What!--[_General laughter covers his exclamation._]

JACKSON

HE Who Gets Slapped. Or didn't you get it?

POLLY

[_Comically_]: He says he wants more---- [_The gentleman smiles, rubbing

his cheek._]

GENTLEMAN

So sudden.--Without waiting.--How funny--you didn't hurt me, and yet my

cheek burns.

[_Again there is loud laughter. The clowns cackle like ducks, hens,

cocks; they bark._ ZINIDA _says something to_ BRIQUET, _casts a

glance toward_ BEZANO, _and goes out_. MANCINI _assumes a bored air

and looks at his watch_. _The two actresses go out._]

JACKSON

Take him, Papa Briquet--he will push us.

MANCINI

[_Again looking at his watch_]: But bear in mind, that Papa Briquet is

as close as Harpagon. If you expect to get good money here you are

mistaken. [_HE laughs._] A slap? What's a slap? Worth only small change,

a franc and a half a dozen. Better go back to society; you will make

more money there. Why for one slap, just a light tap, you might say, my

friend, Marquis Justi, was paid fifty thousand lire!

BRIQUET

Shut up, Mancini. Will you take care of him, Jackson.

JACKSON

I can.

POLLY

Do you like music? A Beethoven sonata played on a broom, for instance,

or Mozart on a bottle?

HE

Alas! No. But I will be exceedingly grateful if you will teach me. A

clown! My childhood's dream. When all my school friends were thrilled by

Plutarch's heroes, or the light of science--I dreamed of clowns.

Beethoven on a broom, Mozart on bottles! Just what I have sought all my

life! Friends, I must have a costume!

JACKSON

I see you don't know much! A costume [_putting his finger on his

forehead_] is a thing which calls for deep thought. Have you seen my Sun

here? [_Strikes his posterior._] I looked for it two years.

HE

[_Enthusiastically_]: I shall think!

MANCINI

It is time for me to go. Consuelo, my child, you must get dressed. [_To

HE._] We are lunching with Baron Regnard, a friend of mine, a banker.

CONSUELO

But I don't want to go, Daddy. Alfred says I must rehearse to-day.

MANCINI

[_Horrified, holding up his hands_]: Child, think of me, and what a

situation you put me in! I promised the Baron, the Baron expects us.

Why, it is impossible! Oh, I am in a cold sweat.

CONSUELO

Alfred says----

BEZANO

[_Drily_]: She has to work. Are you rested? Then come on.

MANCINI

But--the devil take me if I know what to make of it. Hey, Bezano,

bareback rider! Are you crazy? I gave you permission for Art's sake, to

exercise my daughter's talent--and you----

CONSUELO

Go along, Papa, and don't be so silly. We've got to work, haven't we?

Have lunch along with your Baron. And Daddy, you forgot to take a clean

handkerchief again, and I washed two for you yesterday. Where did you

put them?

MANCINI

[_Ashamed, blushing_]: Why, my linen is washed by the laundress, and

you, Consuelo, are still playing with toys. It is stupid! You're a

chatter-box. You don't think. These gentlemen might imagine Heaven knows

what. How stupid. I'm off.

CONSUELO

Do you want me to write him a little note?

MANCINI

[_Angrily_]: A little note? Your little notes would make a horse laugh!

Good-bye.

[_He goes out toying angrily with his cane. The clowns follow him

respectfully, playing a funeral march. HE and_ JACKSON _laugh. The

actors disappear one by one._]

CONSUELO

[_Laughing_]: Do I really write so badly? And I love so to write. Did

you like my note, Alfred--or did you laugh, too?

BEZANO

[_Blushing_]: No, I did not. Come on, Consuelo.

[_They go, and meet_ ZINIDA, _entering. Consuelo passes on._]

ZINIDA

Are you going back to work, BEZANO?

BEZANO

[_Politely_]: Yes. To-day is a very bad day. How are your lions, Zinida?

I think the weather affects them.

CONSUELO

[_From the ring_]: Alfred!

ZINIDA

Yes. Some one is calling you. You'd better go. [_Alfred goes out. To_

BRIQUET] Are you finished?

BRIQUET

Right away.

JACKSON

Then good-bye till evening. Think about your costume, HE, and I shall

look for some idea, too. Be here at ten to-morrow. Don't be late, or

you'll get another slap. And I'll work with you.

HE

I shall not be late. [_He looks after_ JACKSON _who goes out._] Must be

a nice man. All the people about you are so nice, Papa Briquet. I

suppose that good-looking bareback rider is in love with Consuelo, isn't

he? [_Laughs._]

ZINIDA

It's none of your business. For a newcomer you go poking your nose too

far. How much does he want, Papa?

BRIQUET

Just a minute. See here HE. I don't want to make a contract with you.

HE

Just as you please. Do you know what? Don't let us talk about money. You

are an honest fellow, Briquet; you will see what my work is worth to

you, and then----

BRIQUET

[_Pleased_]: Now that's very nice of you. Zinida, the man really doesn't

know anything.

ZINIDA

Well, do as he suggests. Now we must write it down. Where's the book?

BRIQUET

Here. [_To HE_.] I don't like to write [_gives book to_ ZINIDA], but we

have to put down the names of the actors, you know--it's police

regulations. Then if anyone kills himself, or----

[_Again comes the sound of the Tango, and calls from the ring._]

ZINIDA

What is your name?

HE

[_Smiling_]: HE. I chose it, you know. Or don't you like it?

BRIQUET

We like it all right--but we have to have your real name. Have you a

passport?

HE

[_Confused_]: A passport? No, I have none. Or, rather, yes. I have

something of the kind, but I had no idea the rules were strictly

enforced here. What do you need papers for?

[ZINIDA _and_ BRIQUET _look at each other_. ZINIDA _pushes the book

aside_.]

ZINIDA

Then we can't take you. We cannot quarrel with the police, just on your

account.

BRIQUET

She is my wife. I hadn't told you. She's right. You might get hurt by a

horse, or hurt yourself--or do something. We don't know you, you see. I

personally don't care, but out there, it's different, you see. For me a

corpse is just a corpse--and I don't ask anything about him. It's up to

God or the Devil. But they--they're too curious. Well, I suppose it's

necessary for order. I don't know---- Got a card?

HE

[_Rubs his head, thinking_]: What shall I do? I have my card, but

[_smiles_] you understand that I don't want my name to be known.

BRIQUET

Some story, hey?

HE

Yes, something like that. Why can't you imagine that I have no name?

Can't I lose it as I might lose my hat? Or let someone else take it by

mistake? When a stray dog comes to you, you don't ask his name--you

simply give him another. Let me be that dog. [_Laughing_] HE--the Dog!

ZINIDA

Why don't you tell us your name, just the two of us. Nobody else need

know it. Unless you should break your neck----

HE

[_Hesitates_]: Honestly? [ZINIDA _shrugs her shoulders_.]

BRIQUET

Where people are honest, their word is good. One sees you come from _out

there_.

HE

All right. But please, don't be surprised. [_Gives_ ZINIDA _his card.

She looks at it, then hands it to_ BRIQUET, _then both look at HE_.]

BRIQUET

If it is true, sir, that you are really what is written here----

HE

For heaven's sake--for heaven's sake--this does not exist, but was lost

long ago; it is just a check for an old hat. I pray you to forget it, as

I have. I am HE Who Gets Slapped--nothing else. [_Silence._]

BRIQUET

I beg your pardon, sir, but I must ask you again, I must humbly ask

you--are you not drunk, sir? There is something in your

eye--something----

HE

No, no. I am He, Who Gets Slapped. Since when do you speak to me like

this, Papa Briquet? You offend me.

ZINIDA

After all, it's his business, Briquet. [_She hides the card._] Truly you

are a strange man. [_Smiles._] And you have already noticed that Bezano

is in love with the horse-girl? And that I love my Briquet, did you

notice that, too?

HE

[_Also smiling_]: Oh, yes. You adore him.

ZINIDA

I adore him. Now go with him, Briquet, show him the ring and the

stables--I have something to write.

HE

Yes, yes, please. I am so happy. At last you have taken me, haven't you?

It is true--you're not joking. The circus, the tan-bark, the ring in

which I shall run getting my slaps. Yes, yes, Briquet, let's go. Until I

feel the sawdust under my feet, I shall not believe it.

BRIQUET

All right then. [_Kisses_ ZINIDA.] Come on.

ZINIDA

Just a minute--HE! Answer me a question. I have a man who takes care of

the cages, a plain fellow whom nobody knows. He just cleans the cages

you know; he walks in and out whenever he wants to, without even looking

at the lions, as if he were perfectly at home. Why is that so? Nobody

knows him, everybody knows me, everyone is afraid for me, while---- And

he is such a silly man--you will see him. [_Laughs._] But don't you

think of entering the cage yourself! My red one would give you such a

slap!

BRIQUET

[_Displeased_]: There you are again, Zinida--stop it.

ZINIDA

[_Laughs_]: All right--go. Oh yes, Louis, send me Bezano. I have to

settle an account with him.

[HE _and the director go out_. ZINIDA _looks at the card once more,

then hides it. She gets up and walks quickly up and down the room.

She stops to listen to the Tango, which ends abruptly. Then she

stands motionless, looking straight at the dark opening of the door

through which_ BEZANO _comes_.]

BEZANO

[_Entering_]: You called me, Zinida? What do you want? Tell me quickly,

I have no time----

[ZINIDA _looks at him silently_. BEZANO _flushes with anger, and

knits his eyebrows. He turns to the door to go._]

ZINIDA

Bezano!

BEZANO

[_Stops, without looking up_]: What do you want? I have no time.

ZINIDA

Bezano! I keep hearing people say that you are in love with Consuelo. Is

it true?

BEZANO

[_Shrugging his shoulders_]: We work well together.

ZINIDA

[_Takes a step forward_]: No---- Tell me, Alfred, do you love her?

BEZANO

[_Flushes like a boy, but looks straight into_ ZINIDA'S _eyes.

Proudly_]: I do not love anybody. No, I love nobody. How can I?

Consuelo? She is here to-day, gone to-morrow, if her father should take

her away. And I? Who am I? An acrobat, the son of a Milanese

shoemaker---- She! I cannot even talk about it. Like my horses I have no

words. Who am I to love?

ZINIDA

Do you love me? A little?

BEZANO

No. I told you before.

ZINIDA

Still no? Not even a little?

BEZANO

[_After a silence_]: I am afraid of you.

ZINIDA

[_Wants to cry out, indignantly, but masters herself and lowers her

eyes, as if in an effort to shut out their light; turns pale_]: Am I ...

so terrifying a woman----

BEZANO

You are beautiful, like a queen. You are almost as beautiful as

Consuelo. But I don't like your eyes. Your eyes command me to love

you--and I don't like to be commanded. I am afraid of you.

ZINIDA

Do I command, Bezano? No--only implore.

BEZANO

Then why not look at me straight? Now I have it. You know yourself that

your eyes cannot implore. [_Laughs._] Your lions have spoiled you.

ZINIDA

My red lion loves me----

BEZANO

Never! If he loves you, why is he so sad?

ZINIDA

Yesterday he was licking my hands like a dog.

BEZANO

And this morning he was looking for you to devour you. He thrusts out

his muzzle and looks out, as if he sees only you. He is afraid of you,

and he hates you. Or do you want me to lick your hands too, like a dog?

ZINIDA

No, Alfred, but I--I want to kiss _your_ hand. [_With passion_]: Give it

to me!

BEZANO

[_Severely_]: I am ashamed to listen to you when you speak like that.

ZINIDA

[_Controlling herself_]: One should not torture another as you torture

me. Alfred, I love you. No, I do not command. Look into my eyes---- _I

love you._ [_Silence._]

BEZANO

[_Turns to go_]: Good-bye.

ZINIDA

Alfred----

[HE _appears in the doorway, and stops_.]

BEZANO

Please never tell me any more that you love me. I don't want it.

Otherwise I will quit. You pronounce the word love as if you were

cracking me with your whip. You know it is disgusting----

[_He turns brusquely and goes. Both notice HE_; BEZANO, _frowning,

passes out quickly_. ZINIDA _returns to her place at the desk, with

a proudly indifferent expression_.]

HE

[_Coming in_]: I beg your pardon, but I----

ZINIDA

There you are again, poking your nose into everything, HE. Do you really

want a slap?

HE

[_Laughing_]: No. I simply forgot my overcoat. I didn't hear anything.

ZINIDA

I don't care whether you did or not.

HE

May I take my coat?

ZINIDA

Take it if it's yours. Sit down, HE.

HE

I am sitting down.

ZINIDA

Now tell me HE, could you love me?

HE

[_Laughing_]: I? I and Love! Look at me, Zinida. Did you ever see a

lover with such a face?

ZINIDA

One can succeed with such a face----

HE

That's because I am happy--because I lost my hat--because I am drunk--or

perhaps I am not drunk. But I feel as dizzy as a young girl at her

first ball. It is so nice here--slap me, I want to play my part. Perhaps

it will awaken love in my heart, too. Love--[_as if listening to his own

heart with pretended terror_] do you know--I feel it!

[_In the circus the Tango is played again_.]

ZINIDA

[_Listening too_]: For me?

HE

No. I don't know. For everyone. [_Listens to the music._] Yes, they are

dancing--how beautiful Consuelo is--and how beautiful is the youth. He

has the body of a Greek God; he looks as if he had been modeled by

Praxiteles. Love! Love! [_Silence, music._.]

ZINIDA

Tell me, HE----

HE

At your service, Queen!

ZINIDA

HE, what shall I do, to make my lions love me?

CURTAIN

He Who Gets Slapped: A Play in Four Acts · 第 1 / 4 章