And maybe she would write me, down at Marietta that way, and the
letter would come back, and stamped on the front of it by the U.S.A.
“there ain’t any such guy,” or something like that, whatever they
stamp on a letter that way.
And me trying to pass myself off for a bigbug and a swell--to her, as
decent a little body as God ever made. Craps amighty. A swell chance
I got.
And then the train come in and she got on, and Wilbur Wessen come and
shook hands with me and that Miss Woodbury was nice and bowed to me
and I at her and the train went and I busted out and cried like a kid.
Gee, I could have run after that train and made Dan Patch look like a
freight train after a wreck, but socks amighty, what was the use? Did
you ever see such a fool?
I’ll bet you what--if I had an arm broke right now or a train had run
over my foot--I wouldn’t go to no doctor at all. I’d go set down and
let her hurt and hurt--that’s what I’d do.
I’ll bet you what--if I hadn’t a drunk that booze I’d a never been
such a boob as to go tell such a lie--that couldn’t never be made
straight to a lady like her.
I wish I had that fellow right here that had on a Windsor tie and
carried a cane. I’d smash him for fair. Gosh darn his eyes. He’s a
big fool--that’s what he is.
And if I’m not another you just go find me one and I’ll quit working
and be a bum and give him my job. I don’t care nothing for working
and earning money and saving it for no such boob as myself.
[3] Copyright, 1922, by The Dial Publishing Company, Inc.
Copyright, 1923, by Sherwood Anderson.