_House of Commons, Monday, November 27._--Another night with Parish
Councils Bill, dull as usual, save for one thrilling moment. Happened
just before dinner. HENRY FOWLER accepted Amendment making responsible
for expenses or damage those who had summoned meetings in Parish
School. Sudden tumult below Gangway in Radical camp; Question put from
Chair that Amendment be added to Bill. LOGAN raised stentorian shout
of "No!" Chairman repeated Question; hubbub increased; amid it LOGAN
seen waving arms aloft like windmill that had suddenly remembered an
appointment. MELLOR'S face grew a shade mellerer, not to say paler.
Set his lips, and there was a gleam in his eye reminiscent of BEERBOHM
TREE'S when seated on the gargoyle of Canterbury Cathedral. On
memorable night in summer-time LOGAN had taken him at disadvantage.
Had executed flank movement, and so almost come down on CARSON'S knee
on Chairman's left rear. Now, if he meant business, he would catch the
Chairman's eye; and probably something else.
During interval when House cleared for division ACLAND, who, having a
holiday, has been out helping FOWLER, left Treasury bench; cautiously
but nimbly crossed gangway; amid buzz of admiration from assembly that
ever admires personal courage, entered the LOGAN'S den. Sat down in
very midst of excited Radicals; proposed to argue matter out. Effect
upon LOGAN maddening. Windmill remembered another appointment more
pressing than the last. Members, anxious for ACLAND'S safety, looked
round for HAYES FISHER. The LOGAN Tamer not in his place; sand rapidly
running out of glass on table; another minute question would be put
again; if LOGAN insisted division must be taken, split manifested in
Ministerial ranks, and a quarter of an hour wasted. ACLAND, undaunted,
pegged away persuasively; windmill still went round, but less
furiously; half a minute and last sands would run out.
LOGAN glanced towards table; Chairman's glittering eye fixed upon
him. Effect magical. LOGAN slowly rose and walked towards Bar; crowd
thronging in at sound of division bell respectfully opened their ranks
as he approached. Like accomplished husband in case that recently
occupied attention of Sir FRANCIS JEUNE, LOGAN "can use 'em a bit."
Suppose he were to begin promiscuously with the crowd at the Bar! Had
no such intention. At other side of the Bar he was technically out of
the House. What others did whilst he stood there would leave no sear
on his conscience. When question was put again, and Chairman declared
"The Ayes have it," there was no responsive angry shout of "No!" The
crisis was passed, but what it cost the Chairman, and how it would
have been but for ACLAND'S fearless foray, who can tell?
_Business done._--Reached Clause VI. Parish Councils Bill.
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[Illustration: AN INFLUENZIAL HOUSE OF COMMONS.]
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_Tuesday._--The MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE in great form to-day. Original
_Mr. Gridley_ was, according to records of Court of Chancery,
accustomed to haunt the Court, and, at close of day's proceedings,
address the Chancellor. STANLEY LEIGHTON knows no such limitation.
'Tis true he is generally found on his legs at moment of adjournment,
shouting and gesticulating, whilst suborned and iniquitous
Ministerialists (answering to tipstaves in Court of Chancery) howl him
down. That only an incident in day's proceedings. Our MAN FROM
SHROPSHIRE begins as soon as his Lordship--I mean the Chairman--takes
his seat. At brief intervals, which make openings for TOMLINSON, our
_Mr. Gridley_ is at it all through the sitting of the Court.
To-night HENRY FOWLER took mean advantage of the suitor. That person
had amendment on paper which if added to Bill meant nothing worse than
surplusage. Rising from his usual place at back of Court, he began
prodigious speech in support of amendment. Expected, in accordance
with usage, to go on for quarter of an hour or twenty minutes; FOWLER
would say couldn't accept Amendment; TOMLINSON would talk for quarter
of an hour; perhaps Cap'en TOMMY BOWLES, having clapped the pilot in
irons, would put in an oar; and HANBURY might say a few words. Then
WALTER LONG or HICKS-BEACH would rise from Front Opposition Bench,
protest fullest appreciation of Amendment, declare it indispensable
to success of Bill, but in circumstances, observing obstinacy of
Minister, and impatience of gentlemen below Gangway opposite, advise
hon. friend not to press it. THE MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE would make
another speech, thanking right hon. friend for his remarks, in
deference to which he will withdraw, although----
Here another speech, about as long as the distance from Shrewsbury
to Wem. Thus an hour pleasantly and agreeably disposed of, MAN FROM
SHROPSHIRE takes breath, not that he wants it; a little later, comes
up frowning with another Amendment, or a rambling speech in support of
one moved by TOMLINSON.
[Illustration: The Persuasive Acland and the Pugilistic Logan.]
FOWLER'S strategy deprived him of this accustomed round of luxury. But
if President of Local Government Board thought he had circumvented THE
MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE he was as mistaken as the Chancellor in another
court who used to stare at the ruined chancery suitor and blandly
protest that, legally, he was unaware of his existence. Charm of
speeches by Member for Oswestry division of Shropshire is their
illimitable adaptability. Will suit any purpose, any opportunity. If
not delivered at opening of sitting upon his own Amendment, will come
in admirably on somebody else's Amendment to another line of
Clause dealt with at later hour by another member. Thus, when
GRIFFITH-BOSCAWEN delivered prodigious oration in presenting Amendment
standing in the name of HULSE, THE MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE, bounding to
his feet, waved his arms, and in them caught the Chairman's eye. A
priceless opportunity this. To deliver your own speech prepared for
your own Amendment a commonplace performance. To deliver it either for
or against (doesn't matter which) an Amendment moved by another man,
on behalf of a third man, is a luxury to be appreciated only by a
_gourmet_.
THE MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE audibly smacks his lips over it. The other
noise you hear is baffled HENRY FOWLER grinding his teeth.
_Business done._--Reached Clause VII. Parish Councils Bill.
[Illustration: The Shropshire Windmill.]
_Thursday._--Some people inclined to regard as sufficient an
arrangement that keeps them sitting day after day from three o'clock
in afternoon to midnight listening to talk about Parish Councils.
Others want a little more. CHANNING suggests House shall sit on
Saturdays, and, on four days a week, shall commence business at noon,
putting in a twelve hour day. BARROW assents to that, but thinks
twelve o'clock Rule should be suspended, so that, for fuller luxury,
House meeting at noon may, an' it please, sit all night. No one yet
proposed to sit on Sunday and Christmas Day; that will follow as
natural consequence. THE MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE, breaking out in fresh
place, joins in conversation. Asks Mr. G. if he is aware that
scores of Members are ill through overwork, and whether, instead of
lengthening sittings, he will not rather shorten them.
Expected when Mr. G. rose he would make obvious retort that since Bill
has been in Committee there is not single sitting that might not have
been shortened by at least an hour if THE MAN FROM SHROPSHIRE had
restrained his tendency to irrelevant babble. Mr. G. leaves that
unsaid; is very firm about sitting till all necessary business is
done; conditionally promises Saturday sitting; announces meeting of
Cabinet to consider measures for expediting Bill. After this go into
Committee, and succeed in not expediting progress. Night unspeakably
dull.
_Business done._--Reached Clause IX. Parish Councils Bill. Disposed of
eight Clauses in eleven sittings. This leaves sixty-three more, not
to mention new Clauses. If it takes eleven sittings to clear off eight
Clauses, at what date, assuming same rate of progress, shall we be
through a Bill that contains seventy-one? Small boys thinking of
coming home for Christmas holidays please do this sum.
_Friday._--Pretty to see Mr. G. just now explaining to Opposition that
if they weren't good boys they'd be kept in to-morrow. Not that he
put it in that coarse way. STOREY, coming to his assistance in task
of directing business of House, had, as Mr. G. put it with a positive
pang of pain in his voice, invited him to assume attitude of censor of
proceedings in Committee on Parish Councils Bill.
"That," said Mr. G., with an effort recovering himself, "I am not
entitled to do." All he had to say was that under present Standing
Orders a Saturday Sitting would naturally follow unless a Minister
interposed with Motion preventing it. MARJORIBANKS sitting by his side
was looking forward anxiously to pleasure of making such a Motion. It
would be cruel disappointment to an amiable man if circumstances so
shaped themselves as to forbid him the pleasure and gratification of
rising on stroke of midnight and moving that House do adjourn till
Monday. But--here Mr. G. shook his head and his voice thrilled with
infinite pathos--business must be done. If, in short, Committee passed
9th and 10th Clauses of Bill, MARJORIBANKS would move adjournment till
Monday. "If unfortunately," he added, "any miscarriage should occur he
would not be in a position to make the motion." SQUIRE OF MALWOOD half
rose from his seat as if to catch the drooping figure of his right
hon. friend overcome with emotion. But Mr. G., waving him off, sank
slowly back into his seat and shudderingly closed his eyes, as if to
shut out picture of gentlemen opposite spending Saturday in further
consideration of Parish Councils Bill. GOSCHEN said it was too large
an order. Couldn't possibly be done in the time. But it was.
_Business done._--Got up to Clause X. and nearly finished it.
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Transcriber's Note:
Page 265: 'advertisment' corrected to 'advertisement'.
"... a picture which seems to be an advertisement of somebody's
shirts?"
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