TRUE SCIENCE.
For some years now, I had a quiet time, increasing in knowledge very
gradually, but as fast as my teachers thought needful. For the only true
way to get on in learning, is not to be in too much of a hurry, counting
every step, and losing breath, and panting into violence of
perspiration; but rather to take, as the will of the Lord, whatever gets
carried into us, allowing it to settle, and breed inside, with the help
of imagination. Under the steadfast care of _Grip_, and furtherance of
Dr. Rumbelow, I advanced pretty fairly in fine acquirements, which have
proved, once or twice, to be serviceable.
To me, and to all the school, and indeed a considerable number of the
houses around, it was a sad and bitter day, when William Chumps,
Esquire--for that was his proper style now, under stamp (as he showed
us) of several letters--was at last compelled to say farewell to the
_Partheneion_, and the whole of us. He had been elected to a
scholarship, founded for that purpose by his father at the
_Partheneion_, to the amount of five shillings a week for three years,
as a tribute to humane letters, and the many good contracts for meat Mr.
Chumps had performed. And Bill was to take it to Oxford, and perhaps
when the "Chumps Scholarship" became talked about, obtain some good
orders to supply his college; for a great deal of meat is consumed in
Hall.
"Tommy," said Bill, the very day he was to leave, when he saw me crying
about his departure, for he always had been so good to me, "keep up your
spirits, young fellow, and don't blub. The fault of your nature is,
being so soft. Now, why am I going to the grandest old place, and the
finest young fellows, on the face of the earth? Simply because I have
got so much pluck. I am not such a wonderfully clever cove, though
everybody seems to think so; and I have plenty to learn yet, I can
assure you. And of course I know well enough, that I am going among big
swells, who have a right to be swells, not snobs from the Poultry, and
Mincing Lane, such as used to try to snub me here. But do you think I
have a particle of funk? Feel the muscle in my arm, Tommy."
"Bill," I replied, "you could knock them all down; but when you had done
it, there would be fifty more."
"Tommy, my boy, I will not hurt one of them, unless he endeavours to
cock over me. If it comes to any fighting, at my time of life, it must
be done with pistols. But my mind is made up, not to meddle with any
man, unless he insults me, and then let him look out. They will very
soon discover that I mean to be a gentleman, although my father may be
called a butcher; and when they see that, if they are gentlemen
themselves, they will be very glad to show me the way. The great defect
of your character, Tommy, is that you have not got go enough."
"I should think I have heard enough of that," I said; "just because I
don't want to fly, to please you chaps that cock over me."
"You are putting the cart before the horse," replied Chumps, having
taken already six lessons in logic, from a man who came on purpose; "you
have an extraordinary gift of flying, which would make your fortune,
Tommy, and enable your father to leave off poisoning the public, if only
you would cultivate it. I can do very good Latin Elegiacs, and tidy
Greek Iambics, and run a mile in four minutes and three-quarters; but
how many years might I hammer at all that, and scarcely turn a sixpence?
But you--you have only to put on your wings, and astonish all the North
of London. If I had only got your turn for flying, with my own for the
classics, and for going to the top, I tell you what it is, Tommy
Upmore--in ten years I'd be the Prime Minister of England."
My own opinion was, that without any flying, Bill would arrive at the
top of the tree, in about five years, which was a long time yet for any
one to look forward to; and thinking so much of him now, and grieving so
deeply for the loss of him, I allowed his words to sink into my mind, as
they never had done before. Hitherto I had been inclined to think, if
ever I thought about it, that my want of proper adhesion to the ground
was a plague to me, and no benefit. My father treated it as a thing to
laugh at, and to disbelieve in; my mother was afraid that I never might
come down, within her reach, and the same as I went up; while the rest
of the world was content to take it entirely from a selfish point of
view, as a question of science, or of low curiosity.
But before we could say any more about that, "old Rum," as we called
him, came into the hall, where Chumps was waiting with his boxes, for
his father's meat-van to fetch them. The doctor had already said
farewell to Bill, before all the school, and as a public essay; but now
he came to say good-bye, and to give him a few kind words, with a
friendly heart. Bill was as tall as his master now, being an exceedingly
strapping fellow, and thoroughly thriven on the marrow of the ox; but
when the Doctor took his hand, and spoke to him in a low, soft voice,
without any Latin turn in it, the cup of Bill's feelings began to run
over, and I ran away, not to look at it.
Here in a passage, as facts would have it, with my eyes full of tears
and shadow, I ran into the arms, or legs, of a strong, hard man. Hard in
the matter of bones, I mean, and the absence of any fat about him, but
as soft and tender in heart, and vein, as anything he had ever
dissected.
"Why, Tommy! It is indeed our Tommy!" exclaimed Professor Megalow.
"Prolepsis of our race, what trouble is upon you?"
"Oh, sir," cried I, "if you could only stop Bill Chumps from going away
from us! The place will be nothing, after he is gone, and nobody will
want to stop here. Whatever you order is sure to be done."
"Well," said the Professor, as he lifted me up, and looked at me kindly
with his large, calm eyes, "I have come a long way to make that
discovery; and I wish it were so in Great Russell Street."
He was thinking of his labours, and forgetting a far more important
matter in our eyes--the two half-holidays procured for us, when he
thought that we seemed to require them. For now his vast knowledge, and
accuracy, simplicity, gentleness, and playful humour, had won the warm
friendship of our Dr. Rumbelow, who seldom caned any of us now, except
for lying. For my part, I loved this kind gentleman, and grieved that he
had not once asked me to fly for him.
"My friend, you are often in my thoughts," he said, as if he knew all
that was passing in my mind; "let us sit down a while in this quiet
corner, and consider a highly scientific case, which happens to be in my
pocket."
Smiling at the fright his words had caused, he drew forth a pretty
little globular box, yellow, pellucid, and inlaid with stars of gold;
and this he held so that the light of the sun glanced through it,
illuminating things inside, that danced with colour, purple, and orange,
and rosy red. I pulled out my handkerchief, and dried my eyes, and
pushed back my curls, for a hearty good stare.
"Tommy, your mind is of a wholesome type," said the great Professor
pleasantly; "brief should be the pangs of youthful woe. And they are all
good to eat, Tommy; and as you suck them, you can pull them out of your
mouth, and see the sun shine through, and then put them back, and find
them ever so much sweeter."
"Oh, but I can't get at them, sir! What good can they be, if I can't get
at them?"
"Your reasoning is wonderfully sound and good, from its own point of
view," he answered. "But get at them, Tommy, and they shall be yours;
you shall have box and all, if you open it."
This was very hard upon me; for I had no more chance of opening it, than
of flying in the air, as people say, and indeed, according to my gifts,
much less. In vain I pulled, and squeezed, and pressed, examined every
part of it, and then worked away again, screwing up my lips, and eyes,
so sternly that the Professor could not help laughing. And the worst of
it was, that the more I laboured, the greater the temptation of the
inside grew, everything dancing with a play of colours glorious to see,
and feel that all was good to eat.
"Oh, sir, I can't, I can't get at them; do please to show me the way,
sir," I cried; for truly it was enough to make me cry.
"My boy," said the Professor, looking gravely at me, and seeming to wink
with one large clear eye, though it was not a wink, but rather the
effect of a most sagacious and delightful nod; "I have long anticipated
that result. It is always agreeable to find one's prognosis confirmed by
events, though they often fail to do it. No one has found out the secret
of this box, though very clever men have striven at it, and among them
three noted puzzle-makers. Perfect simplicity is deeper than any depth
of complexity. Tommy, behold, and with good will devour. Ha, a
practical, rather than a theoretic mind!"
Perhaps he made that observation because, without stopping to ask how
the box came open, I fell to at once upon its choice contents. The
flavour was altogether new to me, and wonderfully fine and penetrating,
leaving no part of the mouth in idleness, and warming the entire length
of throat with hope. At the same time, these goodies had just enough
about them of roughness, to compel the tongue to stop, and invite it to
dwell upon their surface gently, equably, earnestly, and with much
delight refraining from speech, while thus better employed.
"Ah!" said the Professor, and one "ah" of his contained all the fulness
of three volumes; "Tommy, be just, and consider them fairly. They are
made from my own design, and stamped with cuneiform--ah, I see it now!
The young mind is plagued so with ancient tongues, that the young tongue
rejoices in demolishing their symbols. By taking a patent for this
design, I might get on better than by building dragons. But let us
return to our point, my good Tommy."
As he spoke, he was setting against one another the tips of his long
middle fingers, which I took for the point to be returned to, and said,
"Yes, sir, if you please, sir."
"My young friend, I take it that the point, from which we have allowed
our minds to be pleasantly diverted, is whether you will allow me just
to give you a lift in the air--a very gentle lift; not for any
scientific view whatever, but only for a little satisfaction to myself.
If from old experience of professors, you have any misgiving, say so,
Tommy, and I will not touch you."
"Oh, sir," said I, with my mouth running over; "don't be afraid, sir, to
lift me where you like."
At this good encouragement. Professor Megalow nodded, as if in pleasant
commune with himself; and then with one hand softly tossed me to his
shoulder, where I sate very nicely, as on a spring-cushion, rather than
a feather-bed, however. Then he handed me up the box, which I put
between my knees, and began to sing, according to my habit, when
contented with the world.
"Ah," said the Professor, as he walked about (having, now and then, a
little whistle to himself), and took me to look at a map of mountains
(placed at a mountainous height above my usual level of intelligence),
"Tommy, this is very good; this is quite delightful. Do you know, why
this is so delightful, little Tommy?"
"Yes, sir," I replied, for I was very clever then; "it is jolly, because
they are so capital to suck."
"Not only that, Tommy; although I am perfectly open to conviction upon
that point"--here he opened his mouth, and I popped a goody in, as if he
were the boy, and I the celebrated man--"but also because, my most
generous young friend, it confirms my opinion, or, in finer words, my
theory. Most of us, as we get older and older, grow more and more
interested in ourselves. Possibly you are too young, small Tommy, to
have any desire as yet to hear an empirical, rather than a scientific
opinion, about your peculiar, but not altogether unparalleled, case."
"If you please, sir, to say anything you like. And I won't be afraid,
and I won't tell my mother, unless you are sure that you would not be
afraid. And if you talk as plainly as you did just now, I will try to
make out what the meaning is."
Professor Megalow put me down, with a gentle clap on my back, as if he
had found me one too much for him. And then, with a jerk of his
prominent chin, and a rub of his nose, he considered me.
And while he was doing all this, such a smile of large good-will
illumined us, that I would have been glad to be dissected, if it would
please him, and not hurt much.
The only thing that saddened me was this--he did not appear to be at all
astonished, by anything discovered in me. And I now called to mind, that
he never had shown any special excitement about my case, as all the
other scientific men had done. And my mother had said that he could not
be half so clever as his reputation was, because of his letting me alone
so. Though perhaps he was paid by the year for his work, and the others
by the job; which would account for everything. That may have been so,
and I thought about it now, and concluded (from brief observation of his
hat) that he only got his money at the end of the year.
"The difference," said the Professor calmly, with a glance of affection
at his large-skulled hat, which was rolling on the floor without taking
any harm, "according to my very humble opinion, is not so much of kind
as of degree, my Tommy. It has long been well known that the various
families of the human race--as we may venture still to call it--differ
very greatly in specific gravity; the Celt, for instance, is especially
heavy in proportion to his size, and the Jute the opposite. There was, I
believe, an exceptionally light and buoyant race in North America,
aboriginal so far as we know; and the lightest member of that race,
Tommy, would probably have despised your highest flight. At the same
time, and although I have met with a case of almost equal levity--the
example being, I regret to say, feminine--you must not imagine that I am
endeavouring to disparage your exploits, my dear Tommy. Don't cry, my
dear child; I had no idea that you were so sensitive upon this matter.
Your admirable master has always told me, that your main desire is to
stop upon the ground, and that both your parents wish it. You nod your
head, as if I understood your feelings. Then why are your blue eyes full
of tears?"
"If you please, sir, I wasn't at all longing to go up. Only I didn't
know anybody else had done it. And I shan't care to go up any more,
after that."
"Well!" cried the Professor, with his great rich smile; "human nature
has no exceptions half so wonderful as its laws are. My good little
friend, allow me to comfort you, and to restore your self-respect. It is
not by any means a common thing for members of the English race to
fly--excuse me for using the popular, but incorrect word, to describe
your exploits. But there is a power that beats you, Tommy, in your own
province, and that is Time. At three o'clock I have a lecture to deliver
upon your antitype, the apteryx, a bird that has abdicated the rights,
which some of us desire to usurp."
"Oh, sir, do let me come and hear it, if old Rum will let me go. Bill
Chumps has heard you lecture, and he says----"
"I thank him heartily for his approval;" replied the Professor, at the
same time showing me his watch, which ticked with a bullet upon cat-gut;
"William Chumps is a fine young man, with a great spirit in a strong
body; and I would ask your kind master to let you come, if I thought the
subject good for you. But, my dear little fellow, I am sure that it is
not so. The less your mind runs upon the regions of the air, and the
more you endeavour to bring your body, by good feeding, exercise,
pleasant sports, and moderate labours, to the normal specific gravity,
the better it will be for yourself, and your parents, whose only child
you are. And I venture to differ from my learned brethren, Professors
Brachipod, and Jargoon, Chocolous, and Mullicles, in thinking that it
will be no worse for the interests of science. Good-bye, Tommy; you may
keep the box, as a souvenir of this long interview; be sure that you eat
all you can of good meat, solid bread, and glutinous material; and don't
swallow too much Latin and Greek, which tend to undue elation. If you
were a lazy boy, I should not tell you this; but I hear that you are an
ambitious boy, and eager to learn everything. I shall observe you, my
interesting friend, and from time to time hint to your learned master
any trifle that escapes the unmedical mind."
He lifted me up, and kissed my forehead; and as I picked up his hat--a
trifle which had escaped his universal mind--and by jumping on a chair
clapped it on his mighty head, I could not help paying him the usual
tribute paid at his departure--glistening eyes, that is to say, and a
smile of loving wonder.