PRONOUNCED INSANE.
“Here is a poor girl who has been drugged,” explained the judge. “She
looks like my sister, and any one can see she is a good girl. I am
interested in the child, and I would do as much for her as if she were
my own. I want you to be kind to her,” he said to the ambulance surgeon.
Then, turning to Mrs. Stanard, he asked her if she could not keep me for
a few days until my case was inquired into. Fortunately, she said she
could not, because all the women at the Home were afraid of me, and
would leave if I were kept there. I was very much afraid she would keep
me if the pay was assured her, and so I said something about the bad
cooking and that I did not intend to go back to the Home. Then came the
examination; the doctor looked clever and I had not one hope of
deceiving him, but I determined to keep up the farce.
“Put out your tongue,” he ordered, briskly.
I gave an inward chuckle at the thought.
“Put out your tongue when I tell you,” he said.
“I don’t want to,” I answered, truthfully enough.
“You must. You are sick, and I am a doctor.”
“I am not sick and never was. I only want my trunks.”
But I put out my tongue, which he looked at in a sagacious manner. Then
he felt my pulse and listened to the beating of my heart. I had not the
least idea how the heart of an insane person beat, so I held my breath
all the while he listened, until, when he quit, I had to give a gasp to
regain it. Then he tried the effect of the light on the pupils of my
eyes. Holding his hand within a half inch of my face, he told me to look
at it, then, jerking it hastily away, he would examine my eyes. I was
puzzled to know what insanity was like in the eye, so I thought the best
thing under the circumstances was to stare. This I did. I held my eyes
riveted unblinkingly upon his hand, and when he removed it I exerted all
my strength to still keep my eyes from blinking.
[Illustration: AN INSANITY EXPERT AT WORK.]
“What drugs have you been taking?” he then asked me.
“Drugs!” I repeated, wonderingly. “I do not know what drugs are.”
“The pupils of her eyes have been enlarged ever since she came to the
Home. They have not changed once,” explained Mrs. Stanard. I wondered
how she knew whether they had or not, but I kept quiet.
“I believe she has been using belladonna,” said the doctor, and for the
first time I was thankful that I was a little near-sighted, which of
course answers for the enlargement of the pupils. I thought I might as
well be truthful when I could without injuring my case, so I told him I
was near-sighted, that I was not in the least ill, had never been sick,
and that no one had a right to detain me when I wanted to find my
trunks. I wanted to go home. He wrote a lot of things in a long, slender
book, and then said he was going to take me home. The judge told him to
take me and to be kind to me, and to tell the people at the hospital to
be kind to me, and to do all they could for me. If we only had more such
men as Judge Duffy, the poor unfortunates would not find life all
darkness.
I began to have more confidence in my own ability now, since one judge,
one doctor, and a mass of people had pronounced me insane, and I put on
my veil quite gladly when I was told that I was to be taken in a
carriage, and that afterward I could go home. “I am so glad to go with
you,” I said, and I meant it. I was very glad indeed. Once more, guarded
by Policeman Brockert, I walked through the little, crowded courtroom. I
felt quite proud of myself as I went out a side door into an alleyway,
where the ambulance was waiting. Near the closed and barred gates was a
small office occupied by several men and large books. We all went in
there, and when they began to ask me questions the doctor interposed and
said he had all the papers, and that it was useless to ask me anything
further, because I was unable to answer questions. This was a great
relief to me, for my nerves were already feeling the strain. A
rough-looking man wanted to put me into the ambulance, but I refused his
aid so decidedly that the doctor and policeman told him to desist, and
they performed that gallant office themselves. I did not enter the
ambulance without protest. I made the remark that I had never seen a
carriage of that make before, and that I did not want to ride in it, but
after awhile I let them persuade me, as I had right along intended to
do.
I shall never forget that ride. After I was put in flat on the yellow
blanket, the doctor got in and sat near the door. The large gates were
swung open, and the curious crowd which had collected swayed back to
make way for the ambulance as it backed out. How they tried to get a
glimpse at the supposed crazy girl! The doctor saw that I did not like
the people gazing at me, and considerately put down the curtains, after
asking my wishes in regard to it. Still that did not keep the people
away. The children raced after us, yelling all sorts of slang
expressions, and trying to get a peep under the curtains. It was quite
an interesting drive, but I must say that it was an excruciatingly rough
one. I held on, only there was not much to hold on to, and the driver
drove as if he feared some one would catch up with us.