["A notice has been received by parents whose sons are at Rugby
School that, owing to increased cost of living, an extra week's
holiday is to be given in the Easter vacation so that
boarding-house masters should not feel the strain."--_Letter to
"The Daily Mail."_]
Chapman major put down _The Daily Mail_ and looked round No. 11 study.
"Think of those Rugby blighters having all the luck," he protested.
"These prices will ruin old Dabs, and a jolly good job. The old beast
needs ruining." This from Dyson, occupied in writing out two hundred
Greek lines (with accents).
"The Head," said Chapman major, "may be a beast, but he's a bally
patriot. He swishes twice as hard on a day when the War news is bad. I
felt the fall of Namur more than anyone in England. What do you chaps
say to getting up a petition to him stating that under the distressing
circumstances we are ready to make sacrifices and give up two weeks'
school?"
"Rot," cried Dyson. "Hundred-and-seventy more to do before call-over.
I'd rather go on ruining Dabs."
But even Dyson, when once his lines were finished, caught the infectious
spirit of patriotism, and, like the rest, appended his signature to the
following prose composition from the laborious pen of Chapman major:--
"To the Rev. the Head Master,--Whereas the Great War for the liberties
of Europe involves sacrifices from all, and the rise in prices must
cause considerable difficulties, hitherto endured with noble
self-effacement, to house-masters, We, the undersigned, feel that a
corresponding sacrifice on our part is necessary, and respectfully pray
that we may be permitted to give up two weeks of the Easter term, thus
allowing ourselves more time for war-work in our respective homes and
relieving our house-masters from an overwhelming burden."
The petition was formally handed to the Head.
For two days he gave no sign. Then on the morning of the third day he
arose to address the school:
"In the dark days through which we are passing, when the liberties of
Europe tremble in the balance ("Hear, hear," from Chapman), it gratifies
me very much to receive a petition from the school suggesting that in
consequence of the financial strain there should be a prolongation of
the customary Easter vacation. It pleases me to see that the financial
responsibilities of the house-masters are appreciated by their charges.
Would that our _Government_ had the same patriotic horror of
extravagance! However we must consider the _post-bellum_ conditions. All
the intellect of England will be needed after the War ("Double holiday
task," prophesied Dyson). Yet I feel that steps must be taken on the
lines of your petition (an enthusiastic friend here patted Chapman on
the back). So, after consultation with the house-masters, I have
arranged that in future only two courses will be served at dinner, and
that there will be a reduction in the number of breakfast dishes. Thus
without your being handicapped in the intellectual contest your laudable
and patriotic desire to reduce expenses will be met. I may repeat that
your consideration for your house-masters, who perform useful and
necessary functions, has gratified me."
Number 11 study that night was barricaded against all comers. A howling
crowd in the corridor was demanding the blood of Chapman major.
"Didn't I tell you to keep on ruining Dabs?" said Dyson. "Now the old
beast will be wallowing in Exchequer Bonds bought out of our sausages
and suet."
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Engineer-Storekeeper (dictating)._ "Two gross fire
bricks."
_Stoker (writing)._ "Two gross fire b--r--i--x."
_Engineer-Storekeeper._ "'B--r--i--x' don't spell bricks."
_Stoker._ "Well, wot _do_ it spell?"]
* * * * *
Daylight-Saving.
"Cook-General Wanted ... Comfortable home ... No washing or
windows."
_Morning Paper._
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Irish Sentry (placed, to enforce an order, on road which
is shelled by enemy whenever used by a body of men)._ "Ye'll have to
wait, Sorr, for somewan else to go wid ye before ye can pass along
here."]
* * * * *