_Tuesday, March 14th._--Ministers as they passed through Palace Yard on
their way to the House shuddered as they observed a long, black,
wicked-looking motor-car, shaped like a torpedo. In this machine Mr.
PEMBERTON-BILLING, the new Air-Member for East Herts, had done most of
his electioneering. Now he had arrived to take his seat and, rumour
said, to make his maiden speech. Would the Front Bench survive it?
If the new Member could have jumped straight from the steering-wheel
into the Chamber, and with his eloquence still at white-heat have got
his fulminating message off his chest, strange things might have
happened. But fortunately or unfortunately the procedure of the House
discourages these dramatic effects. For nearly an hour he had to wait
and listen to Ministerial replies to questions which he must have found
painfully trivial.
Even when the weary catechism was at last over there was a further
delay. With great lack of consideration for the dignity of East Herts
the PRIME MINISTER had been so careless as to catch a bad cold, and was
not in his place. On his behalf, therefore, Sir EDWARD GREY made a
statement regarding the entry of Portugal into the War. The gist of it
was that the most ancient of our Allies has acquired a good-sized Fleet
at no expense to herself, and that Germany is confronted by a new enemy
in Africa.
At last the new Member was called upon to take his seat. Belonging to no
party he could not, of course, enjoy the usual official escort to the
Table. But, like another young man in a hurry who in somewhat similar
circumstances preferred scorpions to whips, Mr. PEMBERTON-BILLING seemed
quite satisfied with the ministrations of Mr. RONALD MCNEILL and Sir
HENRY DALZIEL.
Dispensing with the usual period of rest and refreshment, he assumed his
seat immediately after shaking hands with the SPEAKER. Who knew but that
Mr. LOWTHER, recognising the anxiety of Members to hear the latest War
news from East Herts, might call him at once?
[Illustration: THE HUSTLER FROM EAST HERTS.
Mr. Pemberton-Billing introduces himself to Mr. Tennant and Mr.
Balfour.]
Routine, however, was too much for romance. For an hour or more Mr.
TENNANT rambled over the wide field provided for him, but without
stumbling upon anything very fresh or startling, unless indeed it was
the discovery that "Intelligence is a very delicate matter." This
occurred in the course of a protracted description of what was being
done to protect the country against air raids. The organisation of the
anti-aircraft defences was now complete for London and was approaching
completion for the country. But Mr. TENNANT hastened to add for Mr.
BILLING'S benefit--the standard would be still further raised when more
material was available.
When he was in the Government Mr. HOBHOUSE was not less economical of
information in his official utterances than any of his Ministerial
colleagues. Now that he is out of it he is all for full disclosure. Why
had Mr. TENNANT said nothing of Gallipoli or Salonika, Loos and Neuve
Chapelle? Why, if we were allowed to know that three million goatskins
had been provided for the Army, might we not know how many men were
going to wear them? In his view the result of the East Herts election
was due to the Government having kept Parliament in the dark.
At last the stage was clear for Mr. PEMBERTON-BILLING, who, considering
how long he had been kept waiting, made a creditable _début_. He had, it
is true, no startling revelations to make, or, at any rate, did not make
them. His principal point was that we must exterminate the Zeppelins,
and that we had aeroplanes enough and pilots enough to do it now. He
would be delighted to introduce Mr. TENNANT to the men and the machines,
while as for bombs he was prepared to lay them on the Table of the
House. For a first performance it was quite good, even if not entirely
equal to the advance-billing.
_Wednesday, March 15._--I am rather surprised that none of the evening
papers had the enterprise to come out to-night with a contents bill
bearing the words--
"Great Attack on Portsmouth,"
for the legend would have been not only startling but unusually
accurate. The House of Lords assembled this afternoon in the expectation
of hearing important statements from the Earl of DERBY and Earl
KITCHENER on the recruiting crisis. What it was at first compelled to
listen to was the Earl of PORTSMOUTH giving his views on the
Anglo-Danish Agreement. With dogmatic ponderosity he declared that the
Agreement was losing us the friendship of the other Scandinavian
countries, that it was not preventing goods getting into Germany, and
that it ought to be abrogated forthwith.
I doubt if any of the Peers present had ever heard anything like the
castigation which the Marquis of LANSDOWNE administered. Where did the
noble Earl collect the kind of information that he had seen fit to pour
forth? He seemed to have swallowed a lot of stories purveyed by people
who were no friends to this country. There was not a word of truth in
the suggestions he had made, and the Government, far from abrogating the
Agreement, intended to maintain and develop the policy on which it was
based. It was a great pity that the noble earl should have identified
himself with an agitation that was neither wise nor patriotic.
Lord PORTSMOUTH'S family name is WALLOP; this afternoon he lived up to
it.
At the present moment Lord DERBY is perhaps the most prominent man in
the country next to the Prime MINISTER. Yet he is not a member of the
Government. When to-day he rose from the Opposition benches to defend
his conduct as Director-General of Recruiting and inspirer of the PRIME
MINISTER'S famous pledge to married men, he illustrated the anomaly by
the remark that, while he was doing his best to get that pledge
fulfilled, Lord SELBORNE, who was a member of the Government, had been
telling the farmers that he (Lord DERBY) did not speak with authority.
Later he did a second turn--this time in his capacity as Chairman of the
Joint Air Committee. Quite the most satisfactory part of his reply was
the announcement that Lord MONTAGU himself had consented to become a
member of the Committee. It is, of course, contrary to all the
traditions of the British Government to give a man a job which he
understands already. But in war-time even the most sensational
experiments must not be ruled out.
_Thursday, March 16th._--The House of Commons is so constructed that no
matter how often the party-system is expelled it will always return. In
spite of the Coalition, or perhaps because of it, the old strife of
Whigs and Tories has revived, though the lines of cleavage are quite
different from what they were.
The new Tories are the men who believe that the War is going to be
decided by battles in Flanders and the North Sea, and would sacrifice
everything for victory, even the privilege of abusing the Government.
The new Whigs are the men who consider that the House of Commons is the
decisive arena, and that even the defeat of the Germans would be dearly
purchased at the cost of the individual's right to say and do what he
pleased.
Naturally these latter object to the shortening of the Parliamentary
week, and to-day they took a division on the subject. Into the "No"
Lobby flocked a motley crew--the champions of the single men who don't
want to fight at all, the upholders of the married men who protest
against being called upon to fulfil their engagement until every single
"_embusqué_" has been dragged out of his lair, and, paradoxically
enough, the universal conscriptionists who would force everyone to
serve, but are opposed to piecemeal compulsion. The Government carried
their point easily enough by 128 votes to 67, but evidently have to
reckon with a new concentration of forces which may be more dangerous in
the future.
When the House of Commons passed the Bill prohibiting duelling it ought
to have made an exception in favour of its own members. Nothing would
have done more to raise the tone of debate, for offenders against
decorum would gradually have eliminated one another. This afternoon, for
example, Sir HAMAR GREENWOOD twitted Mr. HOGGE with sheltering himself
under the patriotism of a soldier stepson, and Mr. HOGGE retaliated with
the suggestion that Sir HAMAR ought to be with his regiment. A hundred
years ago this would have meant a meeting in Hyde Park and a possible
vacancy at Sunderland or East Edinburgh. To-day it merely brought a
rebuke from the CHAIRMAN OF COMMITTEES.
Again, in the days of our rude fore-fathers Sir JOHN SIMON would have
felt constrained to send a challenge to Mr. WALTER LONG. The late HOME
SECRETARY had delivered an attack upon the Government which Mr. LONG
declared would be heartily welcomed in Berlin. For a much less serious
accusation than that the Duke of WELLINGTON called out Lord WINCHELSEA.
Sir JOHN SIMON has no such resource, and must continue to suffer under
the imputation--a little consoled, no doubt, by the companionship of Mr.
HOGGE.
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[Illustration: _Officer (handing despatches_). "Now, mind. If you're
captured with this you must eat it."]
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"Young Lady, competent, wishes drive taxi, commercial or private
car; preferably a doctor; advertiser has had three years'
surgical training."--_Provincial Paper._
She should be useful, whatever happens.
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