Portugal is now officially at war with Germany, and the dogs of
frightfulness are already toasting "_der Tagus_."
***
At first the report that ENVER PASHA had gone to pay a visit to the tomb
of the PROPHET at Medina caused a feeling of profound depression in
Constantinople; but it is now recognised that there was no other course
open to him, as MAHOMET was not in a position to visit the Pasha.
***
SVEN HEDIN is reported to be at Constantinople, on his way to the
Turkish Front. It is supposed that he will undertake the writing of the
official despatches, a duty to which the innate modesty of the Osmanli
prevents him from doing full justice.
***
A salmon containing a label marked "U 100" was recently caught in the
Avon. No trace of the crew has been found.
***
It has been discovered in Germany that General HINDENBERG is descended
from CHARLEMAGNE, and an attempt by certain admirers of the Prussian
General to visit the scenes of his ancestor's exploits has only been
abandoned as the result of an unaccountable opposition on the part of
the French.
***
"Bigamy," declares Mr. Justice Low, "is as low a form of crime as
drunkenness." On the other hand there is this to be said for it, that it
is seldom found, like drunkenness, to develop into a habit.
***
A large number of German barbers, it is said, have become naturalized
since the commencement of the War, and are now engaged in capturing the
trade from the British barbers, many of whom have been taken for
military service. Not for nothing, it seems, did the KAISER in one of
his famous speeches, "The razor must be in our fist."
***
Mr. TENNANT told the House of Commons last week that the War Office had
3,000,000 goat skins. As the statement has given rise to a certain
uneasiness it should be explained that all the goats have been safely
extracted.
***
Notwithstanding reports to the contrary, says an official German
telegram, the new submarine warfare is in full swing. It should only be
a matter of time before those responsible for it find themselves in a
similar situation.
***
A draughtsman of Babylonian and Assyrian antiquities has been discharged
by the British Museum in the interests of economy. The artist, it is
reported, has already had several attractive offers of employment as a
Parliamentary cartoonist.
***
Onions, we are told, have reached the unprecedented price of thirty
shillings a hundredweight, and several of the old established onion bars
in the City may have to close their doors.
***
It is useless, Mr. HUGHES warns his English admirers, to defeat Germany
in the field unless adequate steps are also taken to stop her inroads
upon the Empire's trade. What is wanted is, of course, a counter-stroke.
***
A well-informed neutral states that the Grand Admiral TIRPITZ'S
unexpected retirement was caused by a rush of blood to the hands.
* * * * *
Another Bulgarian Atrocity.
"The position in Monastir is intolerable, owing to the orgies of
the Bulgarian comitadjis. The Greek refugees are in a pitiable
plight, especially now the Greek consul has 1 ft."--_Balkan
News._
Thus crippled he cannot, of course, display his usual activity.
* * * * *