"Well," said Dahlia, giving up the tiller with a sigh, "if this is
all that you and Joe can do in the way of a breeze, you needn't have
worried."
"Don't blame the crew," said Archie nobly, "he did his best. He sat
up all night whistling."
"ARE we moving?" asked Myra, from a horizontal position on the shady
side of the mainsail.
"We are not," I said, from a similar position on the sunny side.
"Let's get out."
Simpson took off his yachting cap and fanned himself with a nautical
almanac. "How far are we from anywhere?" he asked cheerfully.
"Miles," said Archie. "To be more accurate, we are five miles from a
public-house, six from a church, four from a post-office, and three
from the spacious walled-in kitchen-garden and tennis-court. On the
other hand, we are quite close to the sea."
"You will never see your friends again, Simpson. They will miss you
... at first ... perhaps; but they will soon forget. The circulation
of the papers that you wrote for will go up, the brindled bull-pup
will be fed by another and a smaller hand, but otherwise all will be
as it was before."
My voice choked, and at the same moment something whizzed past me
into the sea.
"Yachting cap overboard! Help!" cried Myra.
"You aren't in The Spectator office now, Simpson," said Archie
severely, as he fished with the boat-hook. "There is a time for
ballyragging. By the way, I suppose you do want it back again?"
"It's my fault," I confessed remorsefully; "I told him yesterday I
didn't like it."
"Myra and I do like it, Mr Simpson. Please save it, Archie."
Archie let it drip from the end of the boat-hook for a minute, and
then brought it in.
"Morning, Sir Thomas," I said, saluting it as it came on board.
"Lovely day for a sail. We've got the new topmast up, but Her Grace
had the last of the potted-meat for lunch yesterday."
Simpson took his cap and stroked it tenderly. "Thirteen and
ninepence in the Buckingham Palace Road," he murmured. "Thanks, old
chap."
Quiet settled down upon the good ship Armadillo again. There was no
cloud in the sky, no ripple on the water, no sound along the deck.
The land was hazy in the distance; hazy in the distance was
public-house, church, post-office, walled-in kitchen-garden and
tennis-court. But in the little cabin Joe was making a pleasant
noise with plates....
"Splendid," said Archie, putting down his glass and taking out his
pipe. "Now what shall we do? I feel full of energy."
"Then you and Simpson can get the dinghy out and tow," I suggested.
"I'll coach from the Armadillo."
"We might go for a long bicycle ride," said Myra; "or call on the
Vicarage girls."
"There isn't really very much to do, is there?" said Dahlia, gently.
"I'm sorry."
Simpson leapt excitedly into the breach.
"I'll tell you what I'll do--I'll teach you all the different knots
and things. I learnt them coming down in the train. Everybody ought
to know them. Archie, old man, can you let me have a piece of rope?"
"Certainly. Take any piece you like. Only spare the main-sheet."
Simpson went forward to consult Joe, and came back with enough to
hang himself with. He sat down opposite to us, wrapped the rope once
round his waist, and then beamed at us over his spectacles.
"Now supposing you had fallen down a well," he began, "and I let
this rope down to you, what would you do with YOUR end?"
We thought deeply for a moment.
"I should wait until you were looking over the edge, and then give
it a sharp jerk," said Archie.
"One MUST have company in a well," I agreed.
"They're being silly again," apologized Myra. "Tell ME, Mr Simpson!
I should love to know--I'm always falling down wells."
"Well, you tie it round you like this. Through there--and over
there--and then back under there. You see, it simply CAN'T slip.
Then I should pull you up."
"But how nice of you. Let me try. ... Oh, yes, that's easy."
"Well, then there's the hangman's knot."
Archie and I looked at each other.
"The predicaments in which Simpson finds himself are extraordinarily
varied," I said.
"One of these days he'll be in a well, and we shall let down a rope
to him, and he'll hang himself by mistake."
"That would look very determined. On the other hand there must be
annoying occasions when he starts out to strangle somebody and finds
that he's pulling him out of the cistern."
"Why, how delightful, Mr Simpson," said Myra. "Do show us some
more."
"Those are the most important ones. Then there are one or two fancy
ones. Do you know the Monkey's Claw?"
"Don't touch it," said Archie solemnly. "It's poison."
"Oh, I must show you that."
Joe showed me the Monkey's Claw afterwards, and it is a beautiful
thing, but it was not a bit like Simpson's. Simpson must have
started badly, and I think he used too much rope. After about twenty
minutes there was hardly any of him visible at all.
"Take your time, Houdini," said Archie, "take your time. Just let us
know when you're ready to be put into the safe, that's all."
"You would hardly think, to look at him now," I said a minute later,
"that one day he'll be a dear little butterfly."
"Where's the sealing-wax, Maria? You know, I'm certain he'll never
go for threepence."
"What I say is, it's simply hypnotic suggestion. There's no rope
there at all, really."
An anxious silence followed.
"No," said Simpson suddenly, "I'm doing it wrong."
"From to-night," said Archie, after tea, "you will be put on
rations. One cobnut and a thimbleful of sherry wine per diem. I hope
somebody's brought a thimble."
"There really isn't so very much left," said Dahlia.
"Then we shall have to draw lots who is to be eaten."
"Don't we eat our boots and things first?" asked Myra.
"The doctor says I mustn't have anything more solid than a
lightly-boiled shoe-lace the last thing at night."
"After all, there's always the dinghy," said Archie. "If we put in a
tin of corned beef and a compass and a keg of gunpowder, somebody
might easily row in and post the letters. Personally, as captain, I
must stick to my ship."
"There's another way I've just thought of," I said. "Let's sail in."
I pointed out to sea, and there, unmistakably, was the least little
breeze coming over the waters. A minute later and our pennant napped
once Simpson moistened a finger and held it up.
The sprint for home had begun.