I am glad of it, said I, settling the account with myself, as I walk’d
into _Lyons_----my chaise being all laid higgledy-piggledy with my
baggage in a cart, which was moving slowly before me ----I am heartily
glad, said I, that ’tis all broke to pieces; for now I can go directly
by water to _Avignon_, which will carry me on a hundred and twenty miles
of my journey, and not cost me seven livres----and from thence,
continued I, bringing forwards the account, I can hire a couple of
mules--or asses, if I like (for nobody knows me) and cross the plains of
_Languedoc_ for almost nothing ----I shall gain four hundred livres by
the misfortune clear into my purse: and pleasure! worth--worth double
the money by it. With what velocity, continued I, clapping my two hands
together, shall I fly down the rapid _Rhone_, with the VIVARES on my
right hand, and DAUPHINY on my left, scarce seeing the ancient cities of
VIENNE, _Valence_, and _Vivieres_. What a flame will it rekindle in the
lamp, to snatch a blushing grape from the _Hermitage_ and _Côte roti_,
as I shoot by the foot of them! and what a fresh spring in the blood! to
behold upon the banks advancing and retiring, the castles of romance,
whence courteous knights have whilome rescued the distress’d----and see
vertiginous, the rocks, the mountains, the cataracts, and all the hurry
which Nature is in with all her great works about her.
As I went on thus, methought my chaise, the wreck of which look’d
stately enough at the first, insensibly grew less and less in its size;
the freshness of the painting was no more--the gilding lost its
lustre--and the whole affair appeared so poor in my eyes--so sorry! --so
contemptible! and, in a word, so much worse than the abbess of
_Andoüillets’_ itself--that I was just opening my mouth to give it to
the devil--when a pert vamping chaise-undertaker, stepping nimbly across
the street, demanded if Monsieur would have his chaise refitted ----No,
no, said I, shaking my head sideways --Would Monsieur chuse to sell it?
rejoined the undertaker. --With all my soul, said I--the iron work is
worth forty livres--and the glasses worth forty more--and the leather
you may take to live on.
What a mine of wealth, quoth I, as he counted me the money, has this
post-chaise brought me in? And this is my usual method of book-keeping,
at least with the disasters of life--making a penny of every one of ’em
as they happen to me----
----Do, my dear _Jenny_, tell the world for me, how I behaved under one,
the most oppressive of its kind, which could befal me as a man, proud as
he ought to be of his manhood----
’Tis enough, saidst thou, coming close up to me, as I stood with my
garters in my hand, reflecting upon what had _not_ pass’d----’Tis
enough, _Tristram_, and I am satisfied, saidst thou, whispering these
words in my ear, **** ** **** *** ******; --**** ** **----any other man
would have sunk down to the center----
----Everything is good for something, quoth I.
----I’ll go into _Wales_ for six weeks, and drink goat’s whey--and I’ll
gain seven years longer life for the accident. For which reason I think
myself inexcusable, for blaming fortune so often as I have done, for
pelting me all my life long, like an ungracious duchess, as I call’d
her, with so many small evils: surely, if I have any cause to be angry
with her, ’tis that she has not sent me great ones--a score of good
cursed, bouncing losses, would have been as good as a pension to me.
----One of a hundred a year, or so, is all I wish --I would not be at
the plague of paying land-tax for a larger.