Now I hate to hear a person, especially if he be a traveller, complain
that we do not get on so fast in _France_ as we do in _England_; whereas
we get on much faster, _consideratis considerandis_; thereby always
meaning, that if you weigh their vehicles with the mountains of baggage
which you lay both before and behind upon them--and then consider their
puny horses, with the very little they give them--’tis a wonder they get
on at all: their suffering is most unchristian, and ’tis evident
thereupon to me, that a _French_ post-horse would not know what in the
world to do, was it not for the two words ****** and ****** in which
there is as much sustenance, as if you gave him a peck of corn: now as
these words cost nothing, I long from my soul to tell the reader what
they are; but here is the question--they must be told him plainly, and
with the most distinct articulation, or it will answer no end--and yet
to do it in that plain way--though their reverences may laugh at it in
the bed-chamber--fell well I wot, they will abuse it in the parlour: for
which cause, I have been volving and revolving in my fancy some time,
but to no purpose, by what clean device or facette contrivance I might
so modulate them, that whilst I satisfy _that ear_ which the reader
chuses to _lend_ me --I might not dissatisfy the other which he keeps to
himself.
----My ink burns my finger to try----and when I have----’twill have a
worse consequence----it will burn (I fear) my paper.
----No; ----I dare not----
But if you wish to know how the _abbess_ of _Andoüillets_ and a novice
of her convent got over the difficulty (only first wishing myself all
imaginable success) --I’ll tell you without the least scruple.