It was not the design of Ellis to return any more to Lewes. The gross
treatment which she had experienced, and the daily menace of being
dismissed, were become utterly insupportable; and she determined, in a
letter from Brighthelmstone, to take a final leave of Mrs Maple.
From the high influence of Miss Arbe in what is called the polite world,
she hoped that to engage her favour, would almost secure prosperity to
her favourite wish and plan, of exchanging her helpless dependancy, for
an honourable, however fatiguing, exertion of the talents and
acquirements with which she had been endowed by her education; though
nothing short of the courage of distress could have stimulated her to
such an attempt.
As soon, therefore, as Miss Arbe renewed her eager invitations, Ellis
expressively said, 'Are you sure, Madam, that you will not repent your
goodness, when you know that I want, as well as that I value it?'
A carriage, which they just then met, stopt the chaise, and the voice of
Miss Bydel called out a lamentation, that she was obliged to go home,
because her brother wanted the coach; though she had earnest business at
Brighthelmstone, whither she entreated Miss Arbe to convey her. Miss
Arbe seemed much chagrined, both by the interruption and the intrusion,
yet was so obviously going that way, that she knew not how to form an
excuse; and Miss Bydel entered the chaise.
Extremely pleased by the sight of Ellis, 'What,' she cried, 'my sister
actress? Why this is what I did not expect indeed! I was told you would
go no where, Miss Ellis, but to Lady Aurora Granville, and the
Honourable Med: Howel. Pray is it true? I should not ask if it were a
secret, for I know nobody likes one's being curious; but as all the
servants must know it, it's not a thing to be kept long in the dark. And
I am told, too, since it's being found out that you are a young lady of
fashion, that it's the high talk that you've made a conquest of Lord
Melbury; and I can't but say but I should like to know if that's a
report that has got any foundation. Pray will you be so kind as to tell
me.'
Ellis assured her that it had not the least.
'Well, how people do like to make strange stories! One piece of
information, however, I should be really glad if you would give me; and
that is, whether you are come over to settle here, or only upon a visit
to Mrs Maple? And whether she has the care of your fortune, as a sort of
guardian; or whether it is all in your own hands?'
Ellis, disturbed by these most unseanable questions, answered, in a
dejected tone, that she was not happy enough to be able, at this moment,
to give any circumstantial account of herself.
Miss Arbe, who only imperfectly understood the speech which had been
made as the chaise was stopt, languished to hear it explained.
Privately, therefore, by arch winks, and encouraging taps, she urged on
the broad questions of Miss Bydel; though she was too expert an adept in
the rules, at least, of good breeding, not to hold back herself from
such interrogatories, as might level her elevated fame with that of the
gross and homely Miss Bydel; who to sordid friends owed a large fortune,
left her late in life, but neither education nor manners, that might
have taught her that its most hateful privilege is that of authorising
unfeeling liberties.
They had arrived, nevertheless, within half a mile of Brighthelmstone,
before any thing really explanatory had passed: Ellis, then, alarmed
with reflecting that, if again dragged to Lewes, she must again have to
quit it, with scarcely a chance of such another opportunity for
endeavouring to bring forward her project, conquered her reluctance to
opening upon her distress, and said, 'You little suspect, Miss Arbe, how
deep an obligation I owe to your kindness, in carrying me to day to
Brighthelmstone!'
'How so, Miss Ellis? How so, my dear?' cried Miss Bydel, before Miss
Arbe could answer.
'My situation,' she continued, 'which seems so pleasant, is perhaps
amongst the most painful that can be imagined. I feel myself, though in
my native country, like a helpless foreigner; unknown, unprotected, and
depending solely upon the benevolence of those by whom, accidentally, I
am seen, for kindness,--or even for support!--'
The amazement of the two ladies, at this declaration, was equally great,
though Miss Arbe, who never spoke and never acted, but through the
medium of what she believed the world would most approve to hear her
say, or to see her do, had no chance of manifesting her surprise as
promptly as Miss Bydel; who made her own judgment the sole arbitrator of
her speech and conduct, and who immediately called out, 'Well, nobody
shall ever try to persuade me I am in the wrong again! I said, the whole
time, there was certainly something quite out of the common way in this
young person. And it's plain I was right. For how, I said, can it be,
that, first of all, a young person is brought out as nothing, and then
is turned into a fine lady; when, all the time, nobody knows any thing
about her? But pray tell me this one thing, child; what was the first
motive of your going over the seas? And what might be the reason of your
coming back again in such an untowardly sort of manner? without any
money, or any one to be accountable for your character?'
Ellis made no answer. The obligations, however heavy of endurance, which
led her to bear similar, and still more offensive examinations from Mrs
Maple, existed not here; and the compulsion of debts of that nature,
could alone strengthen the patience, or harden the feelings of a
generous spirit, to sustain so rude and unfeeling an inquisition.
Miss Arbe, though anxious to understand, before she uttered even a word,
what sort of footing, independently of Mrs Maple, this young person was
upon in the world, failed not to remark, in her silence, a courage that
unavoidably spoke in her favour.
Ellis saw, but too plainly, how little she had to expect from
spontaneous pity, or liberality; and hesitated whether to plead more
humbly, or to relinquish at once her plan.
'You are still, then,' resumed Miss Bydel, 'at your secret-keeping, I
find, that we were told so much about at the beginning, before the
discovery of your being a lady of family and fashion; which came out so,
all of the sudden, at last, that I should never have believed a word of
it, but for knowing Mrs Maple to be so amazing particular as to those
points.--'
'And Mrs Howel!' here interrupted Miss Arbe, casting at Ellis, upon the
recollection of such a confirmation of her birth and connections, a look
of so much favour, that, again hoping for her aid, Ellis begged to
alight at Miss Matson's, the milliner.
Miss Arbe said that she would attend her thither with pleasure. 'And I,
my dear,' said Miss Bydel, 'will go in with you, too; for I want a few
odd matters for myself.'
Ellis, finding how little she was understood, was forced to add: 'It is
not for any purchases that I go to Miss Matson;--it is to lodge in her
house, till I can find some better asylum!--'
The first amazement of the two ladies sunk into nothing, when contrasted
with that which they experienced at this moment. That she should
acknowledge herself to be poor, was quite enough, be her other claims to
notice what they might, to excite immediate contempt in Miss Bydel:
while Miss Arbe, in that point, more liberal, but, in all that she
conceived to belong to fashion, a very slave, was embarrassed how to
treat her, till she could gain some information how she was likely to be
treated by the world: but neither of them had entertained the most
distant suspicion, that she was not settled under the roof, and the
patronage, of Mrs Maple. To hear, therefore, of her seeking a lodging,
and wanting an asylum, presented her in so new, so altered, and so
humiliated a point of view, that Miss Bydel herself was not immediately
able to speak; and the two ladies stared at each other, as if
reciprocally demanding how to behave.
Ellis perceived their dilemma, and again lost her hope.
'A lodging?' at length cried Miss Bydel. 'Well, I am less surprised than
any body else will be, for when things have an odd beginning, I always
expect them to have an odd end. But how comes it,--for that can be no
secret,--that you are looking out for a lodging? I should like to know
what all that means. Pray what may be the reason that Mrs Maple does not
find you a lodging herself? And who is to take care of you? Does she
lend you any of her own servants? These things, at least, can be no
secrets, or else I should not ask; but the servants must needs know
whether they are lent or not.'
Ellis made no reply; and still Miss Arbe held back.
'Well,' resumed Miss Bydel, 'I don't like to judge any body, but
certainly it is no good sign to be so close. Some things, however, must
be known whether people will or not: so I hope at least I may ask,
whether your friends are coming to you in your lodging?--and what you
intend to do there?--and how long you think to live there?--and what is
the true cause of your going there?--For there must certainly be some
reason.'
Ellis, who now found that she must either answer Miss Bydel or forego
her whole scheme, from the determined backwardness of Miss Arbe to take
any active part in her affairs, said, 'My past history, Madam, it would
be useless to hear--and impossible for me to relate: my present plan
must depend upon a charitable construction of my unavoidable,
indispensable silence; without which it would be madness to hope for
any favour, any recommendation, that may give the smallest chance of
success to my attempt.'
'And what is your attempt?' cried Miss Bydel; 'for if that's a secret
too, I can't find out how you're to do it.'
'On the contrary,' she answered, 'I am well aware that I must publish,
or relinquish it; and immediately I would make it known, if I dared hope
that I might appear qualified for the office I wish to undertake, in the
eyes of--'
She looked at Miss Arbe, but did not venture to proceed.
Miss Arbe, understanding, and feeling the compliment, yet uneasy to have
it equally understood by Miss Bydel, complacently broke her silence, by
saying, 'In whose eyes?--Lady Aurora Granville's?'
'Ah! Madam,--the condescending partiality of Lady Aurora, might
encourage every hope of the honour of her interest and zeal;--but she is
peculiarly situated;--and perhaps the weight that must be attached to a
recommendation of the sort which I require--'
She was going to say, might demand more experience than her ladyship's
extreme youth allowed to have yet fallen to her share; but she stopt.
She was aware that she stood upon dangerous ground. The vanity of Miss
Arbe was, at least, as glaring as her talents; and to celebrate even her
judgment in the fine arts, though it was the pride of her life, by an
insinuation that, at one-and-thirty she was not in the first budding
youth of fifteen, might offend, by an implication that added years
contributed to a superiority, which she wished to have considered as due
to brighter genius alone.
From what was said, Miss Arbe could not be without some suspicion of
what was held back; and she as little desired to hear, as Ellis could to
utter, a word that might derogate from the universal elevation and
distinction at which she aspired; she was perfectly ready, therefore, to
accept what would flatter, and to reject what would mortify her;
forgetting, in common with all vain characters, that to shrink from the
truth ourselves, saves one person only from hearing our defects.
'It is true,' said Miss Arbe, smiling, 'Lady Aurora cannot be supposed
to have much weight with the world, amiable as she is. The world is not
very easily led; and, certainly, only by those who acquire a certain
ascendance over it, by some qualifications not entirely of the most
common sort.--'
'But still I don't understand,' cried Miss Bydel, 'what it is Miss Ellis
means. What is it you want to be recommended about, child?--What is this
attempt you talk of?--Have you got your fortune with you?--or does Mrs
Maple keep it in her own hands?--or have not you got any left?--or
perhaps you've had none from the beginning?'
Ellis briefly explained, that her wish was to be placed in some family,
where there were children, as a governess.
Again, the two ladies were equally surprised, at the project of so
steady and elaborate an undertaking; and Miss Bydel broke forth into the
most abrupt enquiries, of how Mrs Maple came to agree to such a scheme;
whether it were approved of by Mrs Howel; and what Ellis could teach, or
do, if it took place.
Ellis, when compelled to speak, was compelled, also, to confess, that
she had not mentioned her design to either of those ladies.
Miss Bydel now, stiffly drawing up, declared that she could not help
taking the liberty to say, that for a young lady, who was under the care
of two persons of so much consideration and fortune, to resolve upon
disposing of herself, without consulting either of them, was a thing she
never should countenance; and which she was sure all the world would be
against.
These were alarming words for Miss Arbe, whose constant and predominant
thought, was ever upon public opinion. All, too, seemed, now, at an end,
that had led, or could lead, to conciliation, where there was so
peculiar a rivalry in talents; joined to a superiority of beauty,
visible even to her own eyes; for how, if the hours of Ellis were to be
consigned to the care and improvement of young ladies, could either time
or opportunity be found, to give, and in private, the musical
instructions, for the hope of which alone Miss Arbe had been so earnest
in her invitations, and so courteous in her manners?
Without offering, therefore, the smallest softening word to the bluff
questions, or gross censures of Miss Bydel, she was silent till they
entered Brighthelmstone; and then only spoke to order the postilion to
stop at Miss Matson's. There arrived, the two ladies let her alight
alone; Miss Bydel, with a proud nod, just uttering, 'Good bye!' and Miss
Arbe, with a forced smile, saying she was happy to have been of any use
to her.
Ellis remained so confounded, when thus unexpectedly abandoned, that she
stood still, a few minutes, at the door, unable to answer, or even to
understand, the civil inquiries of a young woman, from the shop, whether
she would not come in, to give her commands. When a little recovered,
she entered, and, in the meek tone of apprehension, asked whether she
could again hire, for a few nights, or a week, the little room in which
she had slept some time since.
Miss Matson, recollecting her voice, came now from the back parlour,
most courteously rejoicing at seeing her; and disguising her surprise,
that she should again enquire for so cheap and ordinary a little
lodging. For Miss Matson, and her family, had learnt, from various
reports, that she was the same young lady who had given so much pleasure
by her performance in the Provoked Husband; and who had, since, made a
long visit at the Honourable Mrs Howel's, near whose mansion was
situated the shop. But, whatever might be the motive of her return,
there could be none against her admission, since they knew her high
connections, and since, even now, she was set down at the shop by Miss
Arbe. The little room, therefore, was speedily prepared, and the first
use that Ellis made of it, was to write to Selina.
She desired leave to present her thanks to Mrs Maple, for the asylum
which had been afforded to her distress; without any hints at the
drawbacks to its comfort; and then briefly communicated her intention,
to pass the rest of the time of her suspence and difficulties, in
working at her needle; unless she could find means to place herself in
some respectable family, as a governess to its children. She finished
her letter by the warmest acknowledgments, for the kindness which she
had experienced from Selina.
The person who took this note was desired to apply to Mrs Fenn, for the
ready prepared baggage of Ellis.
This, which she thought a respect demanded by decency to Mrs Maple, was
her first action: she then opened, as a balm to her wounded feelings,
the letter of Lady Aurora Granville; but had the cruel disappointment to
find in it only these words:
'Hate me not, sweet Miss Ellis--but I am forbidden to write to
you!--forbidden to receive your letters!--
'A. G.'
Deeply hurt, and deeply offended, Ellis, now, was filled with the
heaviest grief; though neither offended nor hurt by Lady Aurora, whose
trembling hand-writing she kissed a thousand times; with a perfect
conviction, that their sufferings were nearly reciprocal, from this
terrible prohibition.
Her little baggage soon arrived, with a letter from Selina, containing a
permission from Mrs Maple, that Ellis might immediately return to
Lewes, lest, which Mrs Howel would never forgive, she should meet with
Lord Melbury.
Ellis wrote a cold excuse, declaring her firm purpose to endeavour to
depend, henceforth, upon her own exertions.
And, to strengthen this resolution, she re-read a passage in one of her
letters from abroad, to which she had frequent recourse, when her
spirits felt unequal to her embarrassments.
'Dans une position telle que la votre,--'
'In your present lonely, unprotected, unexampled situation, many
and severe may be your trials; let not any of them shake your
constancy, nor break your silence: while all is secret, all may be
safe; by a single surmise, all may be lost. But chiefly bear in
mind, what has been the principle of your education, and what I
wish to be that of your conduct and character through life: That
where occasion calls for female exertion, mental strength must
combat bodily weakness; and intellectual vigour must supply the
inherent deficiencies of personal courage; and that those, only,
are fitted for the vicissitudes of human fortune, who, whether
female or male, learn to suffice to themselves. Be this the motto
of your story.'