A DEAD SURE THING.

The only persons that are real sure that their calling and election is

sure, and that they are going to heaven across lots, are the men who are

hung for murder. They always announce that they have got a dead thing on

it, just before the drop falls. How encouraging it must be to children to

listen to the prayers of our ministers in churches, who admit that they

are miserable sinners living on God's charity, and doubtful if they would

be allowed to sit at His right hand, and as they tell the story of their

unworthiness the tears trickle down their cheeks. Then let the children

read an account of a hanging bee, and see how happy the condemned man is,

how he shouts glory hallelujah, and confesses that, though he killed his

man, he is going to heaven. A child will naturally ask why don't the

ministers murder somebody and make a dead sure thing of it?

Peck's Compendium of Fun Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite Humorist · 第 31 / 191 题