exhortation—“As we have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, but
especially to the household of faith;” and if to this household we sow
sparingly, we shall reap sparingly; and if we sow bountifully, we shall
reap bountifully; and on this subject of kindness to God’s children, _as
such_, our dear Lord declares—“He that receiveth a prophet, in the name
of a prophet, shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a
righteous man, in the name of a righteous man, shall receive a righteous
man’s reward; and whosoever shall give unto one of these little ones a
cup of cold water only, in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you,
he shall, in no wise, lose his reward.”—_Matthew_, x. 41, 42. And, very
frequently, such are rewarded in this world, in temporal mercies, for the
kindness they have shewn to the members of Christ. The widow of Sarepta,
nourished the Prophet Elijah in her house, during the whole time of
famine; and how did the Lord abundantly recompence her, by daily
increasing her oil and meal, whereby her family was preserved; by
restoring her son to life again, after his soul was departed; and by
causing the prophet to continue with her many months, to feed her soul
with spiritual, as she had his body with temporal food? How abundantly
did the Lord recompence the Shunamite’s kindness to Elisha, by the gift
of a child, after long barrenness; by restoring her son to life again; by
forewarning her of approaching famine; and by restoring all she had lost
by her long absence—her house and lands? God had blest Job with a
merciful heart; and he relates what the Lord had enabled him to do—chap.
xxix. and xxxi. And, although afterwards he was stripped of all he
possessed, to answer the wise and gracious ends of God towards him; yet,
we read, chap. xlii. that the Lord turned the captivity of Job, and gave
him twice as much as he had before, and blessed his latter end more than
his beginning. In the history of the apostle, Paul, we read of one
Publius, _Acts_, xxviii. the chief man of the island of Malta, (where the
apostle and many others were cast by shipwreck;) this kind man received
Paul and his companions, and lodged them courteously. We read, soon
afterwards, how the father of Publius, laying desperately sick of a fever
and bloody flux, was recovered by St. Paul, and restored to his former
health. So, likewise, the kindness which the barbarous people of that
island shewed unto Paul and his fellow travellers, was recompensed with
the cure of many of their sick bodies.
A thousand other instances might be produced, of ancient and of modern
date. And, supposing no reward is experienced in this world, the God of
truth has declared—“Thou shalt be recompensed in the resurrection of the
just.” This is evident in the close of _Matthew_, xxv.—“Inasmuch as ye
did it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye did it unto me.”—No doubt
the cruel tongue of fallen man may criticise and censure such conduct,
but, acting from a motive of Bible love, such persons will meet with
their reward: envy, detraction and cruelty is in the heart and conduct of
thousands, but woe unto him by whom the offence, _the slander_, cometh—it
had been better for him if he had never been born. But what are those
whose tongues are worlds of iniquity, and whose teeth are swords and
spears? As saith the Poet—
—“No, ’tis slander;
Whose edge is sharper than the sword; whose tongue
Outvenoms all the worms of Nile; whose breath
Rides on the posting winds, and doth belie
All corners of the world: kings, _queens_, and states,
Maids, matrons, nay, the secrets of the grave
This viperous slander enters.”
But the Redeemer saith—“And blessed is he that is not offended in me.”
Yours, J. C.
LETTER XXX.
“And thou shalt remember all the way the Lord thy God hath led thee
in the wilderness, these forty years, to prove thee and to humble
thee.”
To —
Having complied with your request, in stating the brief account of
myself, in infancy, youth, and manhood, a few of the _ups_ and _downs_,
_ins_ and _outs_, _turnings_ and _windings_, in a way of providence.—I
can but look back with gratitude to that Divine hand that has led me, and
kept, supported, upheld, and blest me. Having obtained needed but
undeserved help, I continue to this day. For all my errors in life I
take shame and confusion of face; and for all the mercies I have
experienced, which I am sensible of, and the unnumbered mercies which I
never apprehended; I bow my knees to the God of all grace, and say, “Not
unto me, not unto me, but to thy name be all the glory.” And what can I
say more? It well becometh the just to be thankful. Gratitude,
blessing, and praise is the sacrifice of the heart and lips, which is due
to God. The Lord be pleased to maintain this spirit in our minds.
Gratitude is sometimes excited and led out by the retrospect we take of
the Lord’s dealings with us, and discerning his love and wisdom in all
his dispensations, however gloomy for the time; yet we can see it was
right, uniform, though various. The blessed design towards us is to
humble, try, and prove us, that we may know what is in our hearts; both
to lament and to be thankful for, and that we may know the love of God’s
heart towards us.
I have stated but a few of the many great things the Lord hath done for
me; and no doubt many friends wish I had omitted some things which I have
related, and had been a little more explicit on others. I may also see
these improprieties myself, and correct them in my next edition.
I now proceed to give a short account of my spiritual experience, which I
trust, will be a little more edifying than the former part of this little
work. May the great Head of the Church make it so to his own children;
and, if they reap the least benefit by reading, God shall have the
praise. While I remain,
Yours, J. C.
* * * * *
END OF PART I.
* * * * *
PART II.
_Convictions_—_Strivings_—_Bondage_—_Liberty_—_Promises_—
_Encouragements_—_Success in
Ministry_—_Temptations_—_Deliverances_—_Answers to Prayer_—_Present
Situation and Experience_.
LETTER I.
“And all thy children shall be taught of God.”
To —
As God is determined to bring all his dear people home to glory, as the
objects of his everlasting love, the subjects of his eternal choice, as
the predestinated to the adoption of sons, as the purchase of his blood,
and as the preserved in Christ Jesus, so, the means for their preparation
for that glory is clearly specified in the Word—“Without holiness no man
shall see the Lord;”—and this holiness is the Lord Jesus, as the elect
Head of the Church. The wisdom, righteousness, and sanctification of
them; but there can be no supernatural knowledge or enjoyment of the
adorable Saviour, in this or in a coming world, till we are born again by
the Spirit. It is the high privilege of God’s elect to be saved in the
Lord with an everlasting salvation; but they must be born again to _know_
it. The elect people of God stand complete in Christ, before the Father;
they are one in him, and with him; they are eternally pardoned and
justified in Christ, and by Christ; but they must be born again to
apprehend, lay hold, and be spiritually acquainted with those things; for
Divine Truth has asserted—“Verily, I say unto you, except a man be born
again, he cannot see [enjoy] the kingdom of heaven.” Men may profess
much, talk well, write well, and preach well; but they are still in
nature’s darkness, except this change has passed on them. This is called
a new birth, a new creature, the good work, a translation, a calling, a
transforming, a renewing: but, let this work go by what name it may, it
is simply a change of _state_, and a change of _principles_, which
produces a change of _conduct_. It is not a change of nature, but of
state. Our sinful nature experiences no change; it is bridled,
restrained, ruled, and kept in, but it is nature still. Neither is it
any change on the body; only the members, through grace, are used in the
service of God. I once thought this divine change was a change of
nature. I once thought the body was the old man of sin; and no heart can
conceive the labour, toil, tears, fastings, fears, horrors, and pains I
have experienced, in consequence of these mistakes, which is nothing but
labour in vain; for this Ethiopian cannot change his skin, nor this
leopard his spots. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and will
remain so.
The dear people of God are viewed complete in Christ, and their salvation
is the joint work of the Most Holy Trinity: man has no hand in the
business. We had no hand in the first creation, and we have none in the
second. O, that I had known this at first; what bondage and distress it
would have saved me from! It is also a glorious truth, that Christ has
finished the work of salvation; that he has stood in our law-place; that
he has fulfilled the law, and that we have nothing to do with it as a
covenant of works. The Lord Jesus, as the surety of his church, has put
away sin by the sacrifice of himself, and is gone to heaven to plead our
cause before the Father. Had I known the everlasting virtue of his
blood, or the glory of his obedience, O, what soul distresses should I
have escaped! but when just wrought upon by the Spirit, sitting under a
blind ministry, and reading legal blind authors, it is not to be wondered
at that a soul should beheld in bondage. It was my case for some time;
and even after I had heard, and, in a measure, received the truth, still
the devil was permitted to deceive me with a sad snare, till the Lord led
me to see the difference between the work of the Spirit and the moving of
the natural passions; the difference between the love of God and those
inordinate affections which led me into error. I would to God I
possessed ability to point out to you these things clearly, that you and
all God’s dear people might see the snare, and be delivered from it: for,
truly in vain is the snare laid in the sight of any bird.
The want of the knowledge of the glorious plan of the gospel was the
occasion of much distress to my soul; and a want of the knowledge of the
devices of the devil, held me long in bondage and sorrow. Oh, what a
mercy to be made wise unto present and eternal salvation. But I beg
leave here to observe, the Holy Spirit is a sovereign in all his
dispensations of grace in the hearts of his dear people. He hath said,
“I will dwell in thee, and all thy children shall be taught of God;” but
there are very few, I humbly conceive, can possibly tell the precise time
when the Spirit enters the soul; this is known but by few, except in very
singular cases, such as Manasseh, Mary Magdalen, the converted thief, the
apostle Paul, the Philippian Jailor, and such persons whose conversion is
very conspicuous and remarkable. But, in general, the Lord, the holy and
condescending Spirit, seems (if I may be allowed the expression) to hover
over those he intends effectually to call out of darkness into marvellous
light, till that time is come, that his in-dwelling takes place, and the
work is manifest to the soul, and to others around. Many are impressed
in infancy; some by dreams; others by deep afflictions; and some have
actually received the Spirit of God in the womb, as Jeremiah and John the
Baptist.
The greatest part of God’s children in the church can, perhaps, remember
some very early impressions although they have not had the real work made
clear to them for many years afterwards. Hence the work on the heart is
called a birth—the soul is united to Christ in an everlasting covenant;
the seed is the word, the quickening is the life put forth; and there is
a longing to bring forth—that is, to see our interest in Christ—to see
our sins pardoned—to feel peace with God, and to be blest with the clear
witness of the Spirit, that we belong to God. Some labour long, some are
more quick and easy; some souls have had bad attendants, ministers,
books, and friends, who, as Job says, knew not the way to the
vineyard;—and Solomon says, “They know not the way to the city.” But the
Lord takes this work in his own hand, and he will perfect that which
concerneth us; he will not forsake this work of his own hands.
I beg you to observe, the soul is the seat of the new man; it is not the
creation of a new soul, but it is a divine in-dwelling of the Spirit; a
partaking of a divine nature. This is the new bottle which the Saviour
alludes to, which alone can hold the gracious manifestations of divine
love, and all the truth, as it is in Jesus. This is the new heart, and
the right spirit, and it consists in these five things—
1st.—Divine light in the understanding; this is secret and gradual.
2nd.—Divine life in the will; a quickening, powerful influence, which
begets holy desires that nothing can satisfy, but a covenant God in
Christ.—_Isaiah_, lxvi.
3rd.—Divine love, or holy affection for the Saviour, his person, work,
ways, word, and people.
4th.—A quickened conscience, made sensible of pardon, and favoured with
holy peace with God, through the atonement and righteousness of the
Mediator.
5th.—The witness of the Spirit, by the Word, to the heart, proving the
work on the soul to be genuine.
I do not say this witness of the Spirit is essential to_ constitute_ the
new man; but it is essential to the _knowledge_ of this blessed work on
the soul. These five capital blessings are the evidences of our union to
Christ, as the Head of the Church, and the Saviour of the body: and, as
God the Holy Spirit shall condescend to bring things to my remembrance,
and shed a radiance on the heavenly path, so I will relate it in as few
words as I can.
May he bless you with all that is implied in that sweet promise, and
thine age shall be clearer than the noon day; thou shalt shine forth;
thou shalt be as the morning.
Yours, truly, J. C.
LETTER II.
“Thou leddest thy people like a flock of sheep, by the hands of Moses
and Aaron.”
To —
From a very early period the Lord began to work on my mind. I was bred
up to the Church of England, to which I was so superstitiously attached,
that I held the two clergymen who officiated in that place in their
sacerdotals, as angels; and I do think, had they spoken to me, when I was
a boy, in their full robes, I should almost have swooned. But, alas! I
have since seen they were neither angels of God nor of the churches; for,
perhaps, there could not be two darker guides in the church than they
were.
I was, at times, most seriously imprest with thoughts of God, heaven, and
hell; and was, in some measure, convinced of the evil of external sin.
As long as I can remember, I punctually attended to the prayers of the
church, and read them with much seeming devotion, not only at church, but
at other times. As I grew up, I got more hardened in sin and folly, yet
natural conscience never let me alone; I was, at times, closely followed
up by legal convictions, which drove me to say many prayers, while the
thoughts of God’s anger, the hour of death, the day of judgment, the
horrors of hell, and the views of eternity, quite sunk my spirits. Nor
could I shake these thoughts of eternity off, which I often tried to do,
by youthful pastimes. Gloomy fears would often seize my mind, till I
dreaded to be alone; night was often a terror; but I endeavoured to patch
up a peace with God, by vows to be better, by dragging through duties,
such as reading prayers, saying the Belief, and keeping the Prayer Book
in my pocket by day, and under my pillow by night.
When I was about 14 years of age, there was to be a confirmation by the
bishop, at St. George’s church, Hanover-square: I was advised to go, and
was endeavouring to prepare myself for this solemn act—but having a
perpetual sense of some sins upon my mind, I could not, in conscience,
go. I attempted to satisfy conscience, and to please God by my constant
attendance on the church, and by my prayers and reading; but, alas! it
was all in vain. I found these insufficient. I bought the “Whole Duty
of Man,” {164} and sometimes laboured hard with that; the “Christian
Monitor,” and several other such wretched books; Allen and Baxter’s
“Alarm to the Unconverted;” which left me just as I was, as they have
thousands of the unconverted beside. But, as to the gospel plan of
salvation, I knew no more about it than the poor heathen in foreign
climes.
The family in which I lived were inimical to the gospel; they hated and
persecuted all that dissented from the church, or professed religion. I
had often heard them jeer the Methodists, for so religious people are
called, whether Churchmen or Dissenters, and represent them as enemies to
the church, to which I was so warmly attached. I also enquired what
these people believed, and gained a most frightful description of them:
as first, they prayed and preached without a book, except the Bible; that
the preachers were only common ignorant mechanics; that they believed God
had made some men to be saved, do what they would, and others to be
damned, if they were ever so good; that they believed in three Gods; and
that a man could not be saved, if he repented and did a thousand good
works; and, in short, that they were all hypocrites together.
These lies and misrepresentations were instilled into my mind, against
the true followers of Christ. For some years I felt my enmity in my
heart against them, and would have had them all banished the country, if
I could. I have stood at the door of the house, and been grieved to see
the people go to the meeting. My hatred rose against them in an awful
manner; nor would I, for all the world, go into any chapel belonging to
them; for I was told, if a person went in, they would catch their
infection directly.
Alas! how awfully blind is man, by nature! an enemy in his mind, by
wicked works. This is the true state of the case; and, a person dying in
this state, cannot see the face of God. However, the Lord had mercy on
me, and brought me acquainted with the _truths_ which I once hated; the
_God_ I had sinned against; and to love and esteem the _people_ I had
despised. This is, indeed, bringing a man out of darkness into
marvellous light; and it well may be called _marvellous_, _astonishing_,
_rich_, and _free_. And sure I am, that every man destitute of the
converting grace of God, is in just the same state which I was. Although
they know it not, a mere profession of the gospel does not alter the
secret enmity to God and his people. It is an awful thing to have such
enmity, but it is a special mercy to see it; and, above all, to feel it,
removed by the power of truth, and the sovereign love of God, in Christ
Jesus, to us:—this was my sad case. A slave to sin, an enemy to God,
plunged in darkness, no acquaintance with the gospel, and kept from
hearing it, by pride, prejudice, and carnal enmity. Yet I passed as a
very serous and devout youth, among many: it is true, I did not run into
particular excesses, but no thanks to me for neither my situation nor my
pocket would let me; yet my youthful follies and enmity would have damned
me, if I had died in that state: but the family in which I lived were at
this time taken up with the lying system of Swedenbourg, called the New
Jerusalem. I begged leave, one evening, to go to their chapel; this
pleased me highly, as there were written prayers and sermons, with good
music, and pretty singing. I read some of their books, and soon imbibed
their notions of the Trinity, which were as far from truth as heaven is
from hell. They denied the personality of the Father, and the adorable
Spirit, and Christ crucified, as the object of religious worship, only
Christ as glorified; alledging that Christ is the only divine person in
the Trinity, and that he is the Trinity itself. Hence their form of
baptism reads thus:—
“I baptize thee in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ; who is at once
both Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.”
This is holding a lie; and those who go down to the grave with this
falsehood, where God is they never can come. The Father teaches us out
of his law, clothes us with the righteousness of his dear Son, and draws
us to Christ, while the Holy Spirit shews us the excellency, glory, and
suitableness of Christ, and, in due time, bears his witness to our
consciences, that we are born of God; and those who are thus taught,
learn the doctrine of the Trinity experimentally. “For there are three
that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit,
and these three are one.” The Lord graciously communicates the
three-fold witness to the souls of his own dear people; the Spirit, the
water of eternal love, and the precious work of Christ, as the atonement,
and righteousness of the church.—And that believer who is thus favoured,
has the mark of heaven upon him, he is renewed into the image of Christ,
and will be owned by him in the last day.
What shall I render to the Lord for this teaching? A thousand notions of
the doctrine of the Trinity, however clear they may be, will never bring
a man to heaven; he must have the love of the Father in his heart, and
the blood of atonement in his conscience, by the operation of the Eternal
Spirit. This, and this only, is real heart-felt religion, which will
stand the test in life, death, judgment, and eternity.
Yours, J. C.
LETTER III.
“But all things that are reproved, are made manifest by the light:
for, whatsoever maketh manifest, is light.”
To —
The New Jerusalem folks leaving the neighbourhood, I was again obliged to
return to the church: this seemed heavy and dull to me; and convictions
abiding with me of my lost state, I could not satisfy conscience, nor
find peace with God, nor victory over my sins, by all my legal
performances. I was, at times, truly wretched; yet it appeared right to
me, that as I had offended God by sin, I should do some good works
{169}—though, alas! I found all my best works stained by falling into sin
again; still I strove to watch over my thoughts, words, and actions—yet,
often led captive by sin, I was made truly miserable.
About this time I fell in company with several pious persons; amongst
them was an aged disciple, a hearer of Mr. Romaine, who advised me, by
all means, to go and hear the gospel; but, as it was not preached in any
parish church or _chapel_ near me, but one, and I was forbidden to go to
a meeting, I knew not what to do; but the above person directed me where
I might hear Mr. Romaine, which I promised to do, the first Sunday I
could get out: but, alas! before that time came, dear Mr. Romaine was
gone to glory. I sought, however, for an opportunity of hearing the
gospel, for I was tired with hearing sermons read on mere morality at the
church.
It was during the hard and severe winter of 1795, that I first heard the
words of this life. I was sent on an errand, one Lord’s-day evening, in
the month of March, and passing by Mr. Huntington’s chapel, it being the
only chapel in the neighbourhood where the gospel was preached, I heard
the congregation singing; and as it was night, I thought I should not be
seen by any one who knew me, and I therefore ventured in. The good man
arose, and took his text, which was in the 3rd chapter of _Zephaniah_,
18, 19, 20. The minister began his sermon about light, I suppose, from
the context. What he said I know not; but this I know, I felt as though
a ray of light entered into my mind, in a most sensible manner. The
scales fell off from my eyes, and I was dissolved into tears: although
the text, I believe, was not to be fully accomplished in my experience
for many years after. I dumbly apprehend this light was the beginning of
my spiritual birth; all convictions, before this period, were attended
with bondage, and much legal striving, to obtain the favor of God, by
working hard for it; ignorance of the way of salvation; and enmity of the
heart against the truth and people of God: but, from this period, I am
able to date a change—for, instead of the hatred I had, for some years to
the Lord’s people, truth, and ways, I lost my prejudice, and was indeed
most warmly attached to the few whom I knew professed the gospel. I read
the Word, and what evangelical books were lent me, with new eyes; I saw
the minister and people, whom I had despised, in a very different light,
and would have given ten thousand worlds to be like them; I saw the
excellency, suitableness, and beauty of the Saviour; the importance of
the knowledge of God, and the value of pardoning mercy so clearly, that I
think I could have died a martyr to see my interest in Christ. I was
brought on, gradually, to understand the plan of salvation; the doctrines
of the gospel began to open to my wondering view; I found the truth in my
mind, like the rising of the light of the day, it shone more and
more—and, as I saw it, I loved it, prayed to feel its power, and ran to
hear it when I could—though this was chiefly by stealth, for fear of
persecution: but, although we ought never to court persecution, yet it is
folly to run from it.
The change I had experienced in my mind and views, was soon discovered,
and no small trouble I gained by it; I was strictly forbidden to hear the
Word, and was frequently horsewhipped for going to the meeting, with
innumerable jeers and scoffs: this tried me a little; I waxed more bold
in the ways of God, and endeavoured to avoid giving any just cause of
offence; but I found their carnal hearts, as mine was, at enmity with
God; and I must confess, that persecution for the truth sake is often
attended with a peace that the world knows nothing of. The Lord carried
on his own work, and gave me to see, Christ crucified was the only way to
God, to holiness, and heaven. It was not long after I had heard the
Word, that I stole away at times to Tottenham-court Chapel, and heard a
very solemn sermon, I believe by Mr. Durant, on _Isaiah_, xxvi. and last
verses; also, soon after, by Mr. Groves, on the second coming of the
Saviour. These were awful subjects, and were attended with stirring me
up, to plead hard that I might see my sins pardoned, and my interest
clear in the love of God.
There is one particular circumstance I shall never forget, which I cannot
suppress, as it is warm in my mind, being previously tinctured with
Swedenbourgian notions—the Lord not only began to open my mind, to
receive the truth, but gave me a most affecting sight of the Saviour, in
open vision, in suffering circumstances. I had run to the above place of
worship, and Mr. Parsons had delivered a very affecting sermon on, “He,
bearing his cross, went forth to a place called Golgotha;” but, alas! I
was hard as a stone, during the sermon. At the close, this hymn of (Mr.
Whitfield’s Collection) was given out—
“When I survey the wond’rous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died”—