proclaiming the name and fame of the dear God-man, I found the truth was
blessed to several, and the Lord led me on. I was presently invited to
speak before the Westminster Society very often, and to preach at good
Mr. Burnham’s, the Baptist Meeting, in Grafton-street, at seven o’clock
in the morning; from thence to Edward-street, Soho; and, it was at this
time I was providentially brought to Mrs. Bar’s, in Orange street. I had
been in the ministry a considerable time before I went there; and the
occasion of my going there was simply this: a Mr. Weston, whom I had
heard with pleasure, at the Adelphi Chapel, was engaged to preach at Mrs.
Bar’s: I ran from my work, with my apron on, to the house, and when I
came there, I found Mrs. B. had heard I was coming to hear the Word, and
was asking all who came in, if their names were Church, “for” she said,
“if he comes, he must speak to night, as Mr. Weston is not able to come.”
She, of course, intreated me to give an exhortation; this I did, as the
people were destitute that night. I spoke on my favorite subject, the
love of Christ, _John_ xi. 36. The congregation being satisfied, I was
invited to visit them every fortnight, which I did, being disengaged on
Monday evenings. Here I often found it good to be, and the Lord gave
frequent testimonies to the Word of his Grace. I preached several times
at Dudley-court, for a Mr. Garniss; and soon after I was invited to
Paddington, where I preached in a small room, till it was so crowded they
thought it necessary to build a meeting, which was soon accomplished, in
Bell-street, Edgeware Road, where I continued my labours as often as
possible. When I first went to Paddington, there was no gospel preached
there, except by the worthy and useful philanthropic Rev. Basil Wood,
whose full value will never be known in this lower world. While thus
fully employed, I was called, in providence, to Barrett’s-court, to
preach in a house, where an elderly gentleman, Mr. Dunhall, had preached
for some years. I generally preached on Fridays and Sunday evenings,
till the concourse of people became so great, I was sometimes alarmed for
the safety of the house; it was at this place good Mr. Baker, the long
and invariable friend of Mr. Huntington, heard me, as he said, with
sacred pleasure, and informed Mr. H. of it. Shortly after this, the
lease being out, the preaching was given up, which I much regretted; as I
had enjoyed many blessed seasons there. I continued at my daily
employment, thought over my subjects at my shop bench, and preached
wherever I was invited; occasionally for the Itinerants, at Ealing, Mill
Hill, Hendon, and other places, but particularly at the Hyde. Thus my
head, my heart, my tongue, feet, and hands, were perpetually employed;
and I think they were the happiest moments of my life, when, like the
apostle, I went forth among the Gentiles, “taking nothing of them, for
his name sake.”—3 _John_, 7. Having lost my favorite spot, another door
opened to me. (But more of this presently.) I often regretted I could
not hear my favorite, Mr. L. at all, as all my time was taken up, as I
have just related; and having been in the ministry about two years, I was
speaking one morning, at Mr. Burnham’s Meeting, upon _Song_ iii. 4, “Saw
ye him whom my soul loveth?” When I had concluded, Mr. Jesson, who is
now in heaven, came to me, and observed, I had been speaking much of the
love of Christ, but the question was, had I ever kept his commandments; I
told him I hoped I had, at least some of them; to which he replied, that
there was one he feared I had not kept, and that was the ordinance of
Baptism. I told him I was, in a measure, convinced that adult baptism
was right, but I wanted a better understanding of it, that I might see it
my duty and privilege to attend to it. This ordinance was that day to be
administered, and a sermon to be preached previous to it. I attended,
and Mr. B. spoke from this text, “We use great plainness of speech.”
This was a plain sermon, on some very plain truths, and which plainly
proved the doctrine was from heaven: and what was I, that I could resist
the truth? I had, before this period, seen the ordinance of believers
baptism was scriptural; but I was now fully persuaded it was of Divine
appointment—a sacred institution, and ought to be obeyed as a Divine
command. I had heard good Mr. Keeble, in Blandford-street, with pleasure
and profit. I knew several of the members, who were pious, discreet
persons. It was but shortly after I had heard Mr. B. as above, I
proposed myself to Mr. K. as a candidate for baptism: I gave in my
experience at the church-meeting, and was received without a dissenting
voice, but there was a condition to be performed, to which I hastily gave
my consent, which was, to decline preaching entirely, as it was not
agreeable to the order of the particular Baptists, to baptize any
preacher, as a preacher, without first resigning that office, submitting
to baptism, and, after a period, to have his gifts tried at the
church-meetings, and then, either going forward, or keeping back, as that
church directed. At first, this appeared to be right, and to this I
agreed, as soon as I had taken leave of my many little congregations, I
would then agree to such orders, and to this I most solemnly agreed
before the deacons. I went to all my little places, and bid them
farewell, and my mind seemed a little at ease. As I had many doubts
rising in my mind, about my call to the work, I thought, in the multitude
of counsellors, there would be safety if I ever was called out again;
but, after a few weeks rolled away, I was deeply convinced the Lord had
called me to the work of the ministry. I constantly kept looking up to
God for direction, and it came to me with great power: that as the Lord
had blessed my labours to many, and as he had called me himself,
qualified me, and opened doors for me, I did not think I was acting right
to give it up. Besides, the many pressing invitations on every hand, I
concluded that my public work was of much greater importance than my act
of baptism. I still considered it of importance to be baptized, that it
was a Divine command, and ought to be obeyed; but, why one ordinance was
to jostle out another, I could not tell. One Sunday morning, my mind was
much distressed about it, and this was attended with prayer, and many
tears; my wife seeing my uneasiness, reasoned with me, and told me, as
God had called me to the ministry, I ought to go on; and if I saw baptism
right, I could submit to that also; and, being thus fully persuaded in my
own mind, that both were right, I waited on Mr. K. and opened my mind
fully to him; but the good man could not alter the plan, and therefore, I
gave up every idea of uniting myself to that body of Christians, and went
on preaching the gospel, agreeable to the apostle’s advice, “Let every
man _abide_ in the place to which God has called him.” I must confess I
do not see the exact propriety of this method, adopted by particular
Baptists. I beg pardon if I err; but I will suppose a case: that the
Lord should call forth a man to preach his word, and that man have
scriptural reasons, with the testimony of God in his soul, and proof of
his success, but, through some prejudice, the church disapproves of
him—is that man to decline the work, because the voice of the church is
not unanimous to the call? I leave this subject for wiser heads to
determine. The apostle Paul was first converted, then he was baptized,
and then he preached the gospel; and, _after_ these things, he assayed to
join himself to the church; but, this is no more rule for believers now
than the manner of his conversion was for ours. Some are gently led
along, others are deeply exercised with the bondage of the law; some have
had a drop of the wrath of God, on the spirit, as David, Job, Heman, and,
perhaps, Paul; but, others, only have a slight apprehension of it, yet
enough to shew them their need of Christ, as a surety, righteousness,
atonement, and complete Saviour. This was my case.—Grace be with you.
I remain yours, J. C.
How harsh soe’er the way,
Dear Saviour, still lead on,
Nor leave us till we say,
Father, thy will be done.
Finish, dear Lord, what is begun;
Choose thou the way, and still lead on.
LETTER X.
“And the Lord shall go before thee.”
To —
How dear are the saints to their Lord; and they are dear to us. The
memory of some of them is precious, especially those who have been useful
to our souls. The remembrance of our late pastor, Mr. Burnham, will ever
be dear to our hearts; it was under his ministry we first met, and with
him we hope to spend a blessed eternity, through the grace of our dear
Lord. The reasons for my first joining the church, under that good man’s
ministry, were this; Mr. Keeble refused baptism to me, because it was
disorderly to baptize a preacher without first becoming a member of that
church, and being called out by that church; and having occasionally
heard Mr. B. I waited on him, and related the whole business, as in my
last letter. Mr. B. was as zealous for strict order as Mr. K. but with
this difference, that although I might still exercise in the sacred work
constantly, yet, till I had passed the regular orders, I should not have
the sanction and approbation of the church. This sanction I doubtless
considered important; and as I was privileged still to go on in the
ministry, my mind was at ease on that subject. After conversation and
prayer with Mr. B. I was proposed as member to the church. I attended,
gave an account of the Lord’s dealings with me, was strictly examined by
Mr. B. as to soul matters, my motives and views in joining the church,
and going on in the ministry; and being satisfied himself, and the church
likewise, the day was appointed for the ordinance of Baptism to be
administered, I spoke, as usual, on the same Lord’s-day morning, and
previous to the Baptism, chose that fine passage, 90th _Psalm_, “And let
the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us.” In the forenoon Mr. B.
preached on, “For by one spirit are we all baptized into one body.” It
was an excellent sermon. When I came to the water, I was permitted to
address the audience, in which I gave my views of the ordinance, and my
motives for thus obeying the command. You remember the time, the place,
and the circumstances. I was just 28 years of age, and had been above
three years in the public ministry. The Lord, I hope, was with us. On
the following Lord’s Day, I was admitted to the Lord’s Supper with the
brethren who were baptized with me—and shortly after this, I had the
painful task to signify to the church my wish to have my talents tried
before them, previous to their sanctioning my going out as a preacher. I
knew I had the Lord’s approbation; at least, when in a good frame of mind
I both saw it and felt it; but if I had the church’s likewise, I should
of course be well pleased. Every Tuesday evening was appointed for that
purpose. The church met, and the first time I was to choose my own
subject, which was _John_, xvi. 14. This met with general approbation.
The next Tuesday the minister was to appoint the text, which he did,
_Rom._ viii. 16. This was not so much to his mind, though he approved of
the truths I uttered. The last time was by the church’s request, _Rom._
viii. 29, 30. These were all approved of, but none like the first. It
was then proposed to the church, whether they considered me as called and
qualified for the ministry; which was carried without a dissenting voice.
Our pastor then gave me a most solemn charge on the subject, and I
believe he acted as became a Christian, a gospel minister, and a
circumspect man. I felt some sacred pleasure in this approbation, and
went forth teaching and preaching. The Lord was with me most sensibly,
and many souls were edified, comforted, and built up on their most holy
faith. The Scriptures were opened to them, and God gave them light,
life, love and liberty. This I have frequently been informed of, from
various quarters. I was exceedingly partial to village preaching, and
have many times regretted ever leaving it, to be settled over any people;
but the Lord had ordained it otherwise before I had an existence: for
_He_ worketh all things after the counsel of his own will, and you and I
know _He_ is too wise to be mistaken.
God bless and shine upon you; and remember, they that turn many to
Christ, shall shine as the stars in the firmament of heaven for ever.
Yours, J. C.
LETTER XI.
“And I will direct their work in truth.”
To —
I think the first time the Lord led you under my poor feeble ministry,
was at Lant-street, Borough. I think it necessary to inform you of the
leadings of Divine Providence in that business. While a member of the
church at Grafton-street, under the ministry of Mr. B. yet continually
preaching, I became acquainted with a good man, a minister of the gospel,
who had received an invitation to preach at Lant-street, but being
engaged elsewhere, he requested I would go in his stead, to which I
consented, without asking my pastor’s opinion, or the opinion of any
other discreet man: here began my popularity, and here, alas! began my
misery also. I went, and soon strutted into the pulpit with long robes,
in which, at first, I felt very awkward, but it exactly met the native
vanity of my heart: the chapel had been sadly deserted before, but I
being a stranger, the place was crowded. After I had preached a few
times here, I continued morning and evening for some time. No one in the
Borough knew me, and it was so much the better in one sense, though not
in another; for, preaching the early lecture at Mr. B’s. then coming into
the Borough, preaching again, destitute of a shilling, and acquainted
with no one in the neighbourhood, I was obliged to walk, perhaps in the
afternoon, to Redcross-street, in the City, and back to Lant-street, to
preach my fourth sermon for the day; yet, no one invited me to partake a
dinner with them for some weeks; this made me faint and weary, till my
circumstances were better known, and then I found the people in the
Borough, and St. George’s Fields, the most generous and friendly I ever
met with in my travels; but I must make you smile. A good man, who is an
excellent preacher now, and who has long known me, one day, about this
time of my preaching at Lant-street, said to me, “C. I think you play
the hypocrite the best I ever knew one in my life.” This startled me at
first, till he explained himself thus: “I was hearing you at Lant-street,
last Sunday, and saw you dressed in your full robes, and yet I knew you
had not a shoe to your feet, and in the most indigent circumstances.” I
only replied, that I thought being poor, and seeming so, was of no use to
me. Mr. G. returned from his travels, so that my services were then
wanted no more there. Mr. G. did not know me at that time. I knew him,
having heard him once only, some years before I was in the ministry; but,
hearing much of me, he sent for me, to preach, one Lord’s-day evening.
The gentleman alluded to in the beginning of this letter, was asked for
some one to go into Oxfordshire; his mind ran directly to me, and he
advised me to go there; and, as usual, I soon gave my consent, and went
down to the place, the day before Christmas Day: the journey was long,
but I arrived safe, was cordially received, and preached there on the
Christmas Day; I was well received, and abode a month; the people and the
managers treated me with every mark of affection, and I returned to
London, loaded with their kindness. Never having experienced such
treatment before, and meeting with some experimental Christians, and many
who loved the truth, the people became very dear to me; it was shortly
proposed to me to settle with them, and I gave my consent. Here I acted
just as self willed as I had done before, and advised with no godly
minister, or experienced people upon the subject. It is the wisdom of
the wise to understand his way, but, alas! I did not; which I see the
folly of now it is too late to mend, but the Lord has borne long with my
manners in the wilderness.
Yours, truly, J. C.
And while upon the earth I live,
I want the Saviour’s love in view,
And say, my God, my sins forgive,
And pardon all my virtues too.
LETTER XII.
“Behold, the day is come,” saith the Lord, “that the ploughman shall
overtake the reaper.”
To —
It was the sin of Rehoboam, that he regarded the counsel of the young
men, and forsook the advice of the aged; and had I listened to you, I
might have escaped a thousand trials. I am speaking after the manner of
men. If we have no native prudence it must be learnt by heavy stripes.
An imprudent man is sure to make crooked paths for his own feet; this,
alas, has been my case. You, perhaps, will remember the time when you
acted as a mother to me and mine, and gave us advice respecting our
removal to Banbury. My intentions, I hope, were pure: there was a large
congregation in the town, and many who loved the truth; they were a
destitute people: there were about twenty villages around, where the
truth was wanted. I longed for an opportunity to give myself to study,
and to be wholly devoted to the ministry: these were certainly important
considerations. The people chose me without a negative, and promised to
make me comfortable. The income was small, and having just began to be
popular in London, I had, of course, many little sacrifices to make, to
quit my own business, which, though the profits were small, yet, the
employment was constant; my wife had to give up her’s also, which helped
sometimes to render us comfortable: but money was no idol of mine, had it
been, I should have looked better to my ways, and escaped a few of the
many troubles I have so deeply experienced. We were obliged to part from
the little furniture we had, and to borrow twenty pounds, in order to
procure what we needed, with some useful books, which I wanted, as I
fully intended to devote myself to intense reading; but, I found the way
of man is not in himself; it is not in man that walketh, to direct his
steps. Myself and family, five of us, arrived, through mercy, safe, and
I commenced my ministerial career; was well attend at the chapel, and
invited to many villages around, which I constantly visited. I had been
almost four months before I received one quarter’s salary, so that we
were obliged to go in debt for every article of life; this was most
distressing to us, especially as we did not receive our due, only by
piece-meal; besides, several gentlemen had ordered furniture into the
house, whom I, of course, concluded intended to pay for it, but we were
sadly mistaken. I laboured in many villages, travelled many tedious
miles, and scarcely any one offered me a shilling, or sent me any
necessary article, although their houses were loaded with bacon, their
gardens with vegetables, and their trees with fruits: the only apology I
can make for them is, that they did not know I wanted it, or else, I
think they would have acted more kindly. Having continued a while, and
never administered the ordinance of baptism, although many were Baptists
in heart, yet they did not like to take up the cross; and I, being so
self-conceited, supposed, before I came among them, I should soon have
the pleasure of seeing them all Baptists, and form a Baptist church in
that place; but, in this I was mistaken, for God resisteth the proud;
and, although many confessed it was right, there was but two who wished
to obey the command. Being, however, successful in some other way, in
regard to truth, it was proposed I should be ordained among them; this
was a hasty act of mine, as I was extremely uncomfortable in my
situation, on account of my circumstances, but hoping the next quarter
would be better, the ordination was appointed, the ministers invited;
half of whom were Baptists, and half Independents: the gentlemen who
officiated acted very kindly to me, gave me good private advice, and
conducted the business of the day with good order and solemnity. I never
so sensibly felt the importance of my call as I did on that day, in the
month of July, 1807; the ministers were the following: Mr. Reid, of
Warwick, Mr. Franklin, of Coventry, Baptists; Mr. Scraggs, of Buckingham,
and Mr. Taylor, of Witney, Independents. I gave no account of my
principles, and desired to say something about the Lord’s dealings with
me, and my motives for going into the ministry; but, this was objected to
on this occasion. I think I shall never forget the solemnity of the day,
the account of which was published in the Evangelical Magazine. Nothing
particular transpired, from the ordination in July to the following
March; only that I found I should never accomplish my wish in settling
the church, so that I was obligated to administer the Lord’s Supper to
Independents, and the very few Baptists that were among them; my
circumstances I found, got rather worse than better; this gave me much
secret distress, and I often begged the Lord to let me return to London,
to my old business, and friends. I found also, that although I had an
opportunity of close reading, the heart was not given me, and my active
busy mind was always upon the wing, unstable and unsettled. Constant
exercise in preaching took me from home, and buried reflections. I
remember a piece of advice that was given me by a good man, whose name I
have already mentioned—“Preach less, and read more.” A number of
villages welcomed me, and I was kept in perpetual exercise. The Lord
blessed the word, but I was puffed up with vanity and pride, which would,
no doubt, have been my ruin; but that bladder was soon pricked with
reproach, and some disgrace. I had some scandal while at Banbury, but
this was chiefly on account of my principles; except in one case, a poor
spiteful Socinian asserted, that I came from the pulpit to the Lord’s
table, and took the cup, and drank a health to the lovely Jesus. This
report spread far and wide, and many were much hurt about it; but, that
was soon suppressed. If it had been true, there was no such great crime
in the act, as the ordinance of the Lord’s supper is designed to
commemorate that spiritual and eternal health which the Saviour brought
to us; and believers, drinking the same cup together, is drinking
spiritual health to each other, and prosperity to the Redeemer’s kingdom.
The dear Saviour, having put away sin, and brought health and cure to his
people, came to his disciples, when they were assembled, and the first
kind word he said, was—“All hail!”—that is, all health. Thus, this holy
Dove appeared, with the olive branch of peace in his mouth, after the
awful flood of vindictive wrath was over; and every believer, either in a
greater or lesser degree, has this testimony in his own soul—that, after
a season of much bondage, hardness, distress of mind, sense of divine
displeasure, fears of death, and an humbling sense of guilt, vileness and
distance from God, the Saviour has graciously appeared, in some way or
other to them, and brought power, health, peace, and joy. Although this
seldom lasts long, yet such visits are the dealings of the spirit,
demonstrating our interest in his love. May the dear Redeemer pay you
many such visits.
Yours, truly, J. C.
Oh, teach my sinful soul, to soar,
Confess the Saviour, and his steps adore;
Devoted let me live, submissive die,
And hope a glorious Paradise on high.
LETTER XIII.
“Thence will I command the serpent, and he shall bite them.”
TO THE SAME.