the steps leading from a small street at a lower level. It was not
certain that it was her, although the similarity was, of course, great.
But it did not matter to K. whether it was certainly her anyway, he
just became suddenly aware that there was no point in his resistance.
There would be nothing heroic about it if he resisted, if he now caused
trouble for these gentlemen, if in defending himself he sought to enjoy
his last glimmer of life. He started walking, which pleased the
gentlemen and some of their pleasure conveyed itself to him. Now they
permitted him to decide which direction they took, and he decided to
take the direction that followed the young woman in front of them, not
so much because he wanted to catch up with her, nor even because he
wanted to keep her in sight for as long as possible, but only so that
he would not forget the reproach she represented for him. "The only
thing I can do now," he said to himself, and his thought was confirmed
by the equal length of his own steps with the steps of the two others,
"the only thing I can do now is keep my common sense and do what's
needed right till the end. I always wanted to go at the world and try
and do too much, and even to do it for something that was not too
cheap. That was wrong of me. Should I now show them I learned nothing
from facing trial for a year? Should I go out like someone stupid?
Should I let anyone say, after I'm gone, that at the start of the
proceedings I wanted to end them, and that now that they've ended I want
to start them again? I don't want anyone to say that. I'm grateful they
sent these unspeaking, uncomprehending men to go with me on this
journey, and that it's been left up to me to say what's necessary."
Meanwhile, the young woman had turned off into a side street, but K.
could do without her now and let his companions lead him. All three of
them now, in complete agreement, went over a bridge in the light of the
moon, the two gentlemen were willing to yield to each little movement
made by K. as he moved slightly towards the edge and directed the group
in that direction as a single unit. The moonlight glittered and
quivered in the water, which divided itself around a small island
covered in a densely-piled mass of foliage and trees and bushes.
Beneath them, now invisible, there were gravel paths with comfortable
benches where K. had stretched himself out on many summer's days. "I
didn't actually want to stop here," he said to his companions, shamed by
their compliance with his wishes. Behind K.'s back one of them seemed
to quietly criticise the other for the misunderstanding about stopping,
and then they went on. They went on up through several streets where
policemen were walking or standing here and there; some in the distance
and then some very close. One of them with a bushy moustache, his hand
on the grip of his sword, seemed to have some purpose in approaching
the group, which was hardly unsuspicious. The two gentlemen stopped,
the policeman seemed about to open his mouth, and then K. drove his
group forcefully forward. Several times he looked back cautiously to see
if the policeman was following; but when they had a corner between
themselves and the policeman K. began to run, and the two gentlemen,
despite being seriously short of breath, had to run with him.
In this way they quickly left the built up area and found themselves in
the fields which, in this part of town, began almost without any
transition zone. There was a quarry, empty and abandoned, near a
building which was still like those in the city. Here the men stopped,
perhaps because this had always been their destination or perhaps
because they were too exhausted to run any further. Here they released
their hold on K., who just waited in silence, and took their top hats
off while they looked round the quarry and wiped the sweat off their
brows with their handkerchiefs. The moonlight lay everywhere with the
natural peace that is granted to no other light.
After exchanging a few courtesies about who was to carry out the next
tasks--the gentlemen did not seem to have been allocated specific
functions--one of them went to K. and took his coat, his waistcoat, and
finally his shirt off him. K. made an involuntary shiver, at which the
gentleman gave him a gentle, reassuring tap on the back. Then he
carefully folded the things up as if they would still be needed, even
if not in the near future. He did not want to expose K. to the chilly
night air without moving though, so he took him under the arm and
walked up and down with him a little way while the other gentleman
looked round the quarry for a suitable place. When he had found it he
made a sign and the other gentleman escorted him there. It was near the
rockface, there was a stone lying there that had broken loose. The
gentlemen sat K. down on the ground, leant him against the stone and
settled his head down on the top of it. Despite all the effort they
went to, and despite all the co-operation shown by K., his demeanour
seemed very forced and hard to believe. So one of the gentlemen asked
the other to grant him a short time while he put K. in position by
himself, but even that did nothing to make it better. In the end they
left K. in a position that was far from the best of the ones they had
tried so far. Then one of the gentlemen opened his frock coat and from a
sheath hanging on a belt stretched across his waistcoat he withdrew a
long, thin, double-edged butcher's knife which he held up in the light
to test its sharpness. The repulsive courtesies began once again, one of
them passed the knife over K. to the other, who then passed it back over
K. to the first. K. now knew it would be his duty to take the knife as
it passed from hand to hand above him and thrust it into himself. But
he did not do it, instead he twisted his neck, which was still free,
and looked around. He was not able to show his full worth, was not able
to take all the work from the official bodies, he lacked the rest of
the strength he needed and this final shortcoming was the fault of
whoever had denied it to him. As he looked round, he saw the top floor
of the building next to the quarry. He saw how a light flickered on and
the two halves of a window opened out, somebody, made weak and thin by
the height and the distance, leant suddenly far out from it and
stretched his arms out even further. Who was that? A friend? A good
person? Somebody who was taking part? Somebody who wanted to help? Was
he alone? Was it everyone? Would anyone help? Were there objections that
had been forgotten? There must have been some. The logic cannot be
refuted, but someone who wants to live will not resist it. Where was the
judge he'd never seen? Where was the high court he had never reached? He
raised both hands and spread out all his fingers.
But the hands of one of the gentleman were laid on K.'s throat, while
the other pushed the knife deep into his heart and twisted it there,
twice. As his eyesight failed, K. saw the two gentlemen cheek by cheek,
close in front of his face, watching the result. "Like a dog!" he said,
it was as if the shame of it should outlive him.