THE grandmother thought, the next morning,
that she had not passed such a pleasant
evening, or such a comfortable and restful night,
for a long time. “Dear me!” she said, after Bruin
had departed, with many thanks and at least ten
profound bows,—“dear me! what a difference it
makes, having a bear in the house! one feels so
secure; and one does not think of waking up to
listen, every time a branch snaps outside, or a
door creaks in the house. I wonder—” But the
grandmother did not tell Toto what she wondered.
The next fine afternoon, the animals all came to
the cottage in good season, for they were to have
a story from their kind hostess herself this time,
and it was to be about a giant.
“And if you will believe it,” said the raccoon,
“our poor Chucky here does not—ha! ha!—actually
does not know what a giant is! Will
you kindly explain to him, dear madam?”
“Ugh!” grunted the woodchuck. “I don’t believe
you know yourself, Coon, for all your airs!
You said this morning it was a kind of vegetable,
and now—”
“Stop quarrelling, and listen to the story, will
you?” said Bruin. “Wow!”
When the bear said “Wow” in that manner, all
the others knew it meant business; and as he lay
down at the grandmother’s feet, they all drew
nearer, and were silent in expectation.
“A giant,” said the grandmother, “is like a
man, only very much bigger; very, _very_ much
bigger. The giant about whom I am going to
tell you was one of the largest of his kind, being
no less than fourteen miles high.”
There was a general murmur of amazement.
“Fourteen miles high!” the old lady repeated.
“His name was as short as he himself was long,
for it was neither more nor less than _Crump_; and
he fell in love with the Lady Moon. He fell so
deeply in love with her that it was quite impossible
for him to get out again; so he informed her
of the fact, and begged her to marry him.
‘Come and share my mammoth lot,
And shine in my gigantic cot!’
That was what he said, or words to that effect.
“But the Lady Moon replied, ‘Dear Crump, I
would gladly do as you suggest, but the thing is
not possible. I have no body, but only a head;
and I could not think of going into church to
be married without any body, to say nothing of
legs and feet.’
“‘Is that your only objection?’ asked Giant
Crump.
“‘The only one, upon my lunar honor!’ replied
the Lady Moon.
“‘Then I think I can manage it,’ said the giant.
Accordingly he went and gathered together all
the silver there was in the world at that time, and
out of it he made a beautiful silver body, with
arms and legs all complete. And when it was
finished he made a silver dress, and silver slippers,
and a silver moonshade, and dressed the body up
in the most fashionable and delightful manner.
Then, when all was ready, he called to the Lady
Moon, and told her that her body was ready, and
that she had only to come down and put it on.
“‘But I cannot come down,’ said the Lady
Moon. ‘Nothing would induce me to come down
without a body. You must bring it up here.’
“Now that was not an easy thing to do; for
though Crump was very big, he was not nearly
big enough. What are fourteen miles, compared
with two hundred and forty thousand? However,
he was a very persevering giant, and had no idea
of giving up; and he was very clever too. So he
sat down on the ground and reflected for the
space of seven years, and at the end of that time
a thought struck him.
“He rose at once, and went to work and made a
pair of stilts, high enough to reach to the moon.
That was quite a piece of work, as you may
imagine; but when they were finished, a new
difficulty arose: how was he to get up on them?
This required more reflection, and Crump sat and
thought about it for six weeks more. Then
another thought struck him, which was really an
extremely clever one. He made a long ladder,
as long as the stilts. He set this up against one
of the stilts, and climbed up and put one foot on
it; and then he set the ladder against the other
stilt, and climbed up and put the other foot on
that; this was very difficult, but it was also very
clever. I forgot to say that he took the silver
body up with him. Then he called out to the
Lady Moon, ‘Here I am, dear Lady Moon, and
here is your silver body. Stop now, stop your
rolling, and let me fasten it on for you, and then
come down and be my beautiful silver bride.’
And he held up the silver body, which shone and
sparkled in the most enchanting manner.
“Here I am, dear Lady Moon.”
“But the Lady Moon replied, ‘Stop rolling,
indeed! that is quite out of the question, I assure
you. I have never done such a thing, and I am
not going to begin at my time of life. No, no,
Giant Crump; if you want me, you must catch
me!’ and she went rolling on in the most heartless
and unfeeling way.
“There was nothing for the poor giant to do but
follow; so, tucking the silver body under his arm,
he set off on his tall stilts, and walked after the
Lady Moon. Round and round the world went
she, and round and round went the giant after
her; and as I have never heard of his catching
up with her, he is very likely walking round and
round still.”
“Is that all?” inquired the insatiable Toto.
“What a very short story, Granny!”
“It is rather short,” said the grandmother;
“but I don’t see how it could be made any longer.
I will, however, if you wish, tell you another
short story, and that will be equal to one long
one. Listen, therefore, and you shall hear the
story of Hokey Pokey.”
So they listened, and heard it.
“Hokey Pokey was the youngest of a large
family of children. His elder brothers, as they
grew up, all became either butchers or bakers
or makers of candlesticks, for such was the custom
of the family. But Hokey Pokey would be
none of these things; so when he was grown to
be a tall youth he went to his father and said,
‘Give me my fortune.’
“‘Will you be a butcher?’ asked his father.
“‘No,’ said Hokey Pokey.
“‘Will you be a baker?’
“‘No, again.’
“‘Will you make candlesticks?’
“‘Nor that either.’
“‘Then,’ said his father, ‘this is the only fortune
I can give you;’ and with that he took up
his cudgel and gave the youth a stout beating.
‘Now you cannot complain that I gave you nothing,’
said he.
“‘That is true,’ said Hokey Pokey. ‘But give
me also the wooden mallet which lies on the shelf,
and I will make my way through the world.’
“His father gave him the mallet, glad to be
so easily rid of him, and Hokey Pokey went out
into the world to seek his fortune. He walked
all day, and at nightfall he came to a small village.
Feeling hungry, he went into a baker’s
shop, intending to buy a loaf of bread for his
supper. There was a great noise and confusion
in the back part of the shop; and on going to
see what was the matter, he found the baker on
his knees beside a large box or chest, which he
was trying with might and main to keep shut.
But there was something inside the box which
was trying just as hard to get out, and it screamed
and kicked, and pushed the lid up as often as the
baker shut it down.
“‘What have you there in the box?’ asked
Hokey Pokey.
“‘I have my wife,’ replied the baker. ‘She
is so frightfully ill-tempered that whenever I am
going to bake bread I am obliged to shut her up
in this box, lest she push me into the oven and
bake me with the bread, as she has often threatened
to do. But to-day she has broken the lock of
the box, and I know not how to keep her down.’
“‘That is easily managed,’ said Hokey Pokey.
‘Do you but tell her, when she asks who I am,
that I am a giant with three heads, and all will
be well.’ So saying, he took his wooden mallet
and dealt three tremendous blows on the box,
saying in a loud voice,—
‘Hickory Hox!
I sit by the box,
Waiting to give you a few of my knocks.
“‘Husband, husband! whom have you there?’
cried the wife in terror.
“‘Alas!’ said the baker; ‘it is a frightful giant
with three heads. He is sitting by the box, and
if you open it so much as the width of your little
finger, he will pull you out and beat you to
powder.’
“When the wife heard that she crouched down
in the box, and said never a word, for she was
afraid of her life.
“The baker then took Hokey Pokey into the
other part of the shop, thanked him warmly, and
gave him a good supper and a bed. The next
morning he gave him for a present the finest loaf
of bread in his shop, which was shaped like a large
round ball; and Hokey Pokey, after knocking
once more on the lid of the box, continued his
travels.
“He had not gone far before he came to another
village, and wishing to inquire his way he entered
the first shop he came to, which proved to be that
of a confectioner. The shop was full of the most
beautiful sweetmeats imaginable, and everything
was bright and gay; but the confectioner himself
sat upon a bench, weeping bitterly.
“‘What ails you, friend?’ asked Hokey-Pokey;
‘and why do you weep, when you are surrounded
by the most delightful things in the world?’
“‘Alas!’ replied the confectioner. ‘That is just
the cause of my trouble. The sweetmeats that I
make are so good that their fame has spread far
and wide, and the Rat King, hearing of them, has
taken up his abode in my cellar. Every night he
comes up and eats all the sweetmeats I have made
the day before. There is no comfort in my life,
and I am thinking of becoming a rope-maker and
hanging myself with the first rope I make.’
“‘Why don’t you set a trap for him?’ asked
Hokey Pokey.
“‘I have set fifty-nine traps,’ replied the confectioner,
‘but he is so strong that he breaks
them all.’
“‘Poison him,’ suggested Hokey Pokey.
“‘He dislikes poison,’ said the confectioner,
‘and will not take it in any form.’
“‘In that case,’ said Hokey Pokey, ‘leave him
to me. Go away, and hide yourself for a few
minutes, and all will be well.’
“The confectioner thanked him warmly.”
“The confectioner retired behind a large screen,
having first showed Hokey Pokey the hole of the
Rat King, which was certainly a very large one.
Hokey Pokey sat down by the hole, with his mallet
in his hand, and said in a squeaking voice,—
‘Ratly King! Kingly Rat!
Here your mate comes pit-a-pat.
Come and see; the way is free;
Hear my signal: one! two! three!’
And he scratched three times on the floor. Almost
immediately the head of a rat popped up through
the hole. He was a huge rat, quite as large as a
cat; but his size was no help to him, for as soon
as he appeared, Hokey Pokey dealt him such a
blow with his mallet that he fell down dead without
even a squeak. Then Hokey Pokey called
the confectioner, who came out from behind the
screen and thanked him warmly; he also bade
him choose anything he liked in the shop, in payment
for his services.
“‘Can you match this?’ asked Hokey Pokey,
showing his round ball of bread.
“‘That can I!’ said the confectioner; and he
brought out a most beautiful ball, twice as large
as the loaf, composed of the finest sweetmeats in
the world, red and yellow and white. Hokey
Pokey took it with many thanks, and then went
on his way.
“The next day he came to a third village, in
the streets of which the people were all running
to and fro in the wildest confusion.
“‘What is the matter?’ asked Hokey Pokey,
as one man ran directly into his arms.
“‘Alas!’ replied the man. ‘A wild bull has
got into the principal china-shop, and is breaking
all the beautiful dishes.’
“‘Why do you not drive him out?’ asked
Hokey Pokey.
“‘We are afraid to do that,’ said the man; ‘but
we are running up and down to express our emotion
and sympathy, and that is something.’
“‘Show me the china-shop,’ said Hokey Pokey.
“So the man showed him the china-shop; and
there, sure enough, was a furious bull, making
most terrible havoc. He was dancing up and
down on a Dresden dinner set, and butting at the
Chinese mandarins, and switching down finger-bowls
and teapots with his tail, bellowing meanwhile
in the most outrageous manner. The floor
was covered with broken crockery, and the whole
scene was melancholy to behold.
“Now when Hokey Pokey saw this, he said
to the owner of the china-shop, who was tearing
his hair in a frenzy of despair, ‘Stop tearing
your hair, which is indeed a senseless occupation,
and I will manage this matter for you. Bring
me a red cotton umbrella, and all will yet be
well.’
“So the china-shop man brought him a red cotton
umbrella, and Hokey Pokey began to open
and shut it violently in front of the door. When
the bull saw that, he stopped dancing on the Dresden
dinner set and came charging out of the shop,
straight towards the red umbrella. When he
came near enough, Hokey Pokey dropped the
umbrella, and raising his wooden mallet hit the
bull such a blow on the muzzle that he fell down
dead, and never bellowed again.
“The people all flung up their hats, and cheered,
and ran up and down all the more, to express their
gratification. As for the china-shop man, he threw
his arms round Hokey Pokey’s neck, called him
his cherished preserver, and bade him choose anything
that was left in his shop in payment for his
services.
“‘Can you match these?’ asked Hokey Pokey,
holding up the loaf of bread and the ball of sweetmeats.
“‘That can I,’ said the shop-man; and he
brought out a huge ball of solid ivory, inlaid with
gold and silver, and truly lovely to behold. It
was very heavy, being twice as large as the ball
of sweetmeats; but Hokey Pokey took it, and,
after thanking the shop-man and receiving his
thanks in return, he proceeded on his way.
“After walking for several days, he came to a
fair, large castle, in front of which sat a man on
horseback. When the man saw Hokey Pokey,
he called out,—
“‘Who are you, and what do you bring to the
mighty Dragon, lord of this castle?’
“‘Hokey Pokey is my name,’ replied the youth,
‘and strange things do I bring. But what does
the mighty Dragon want, for example?’
“‘He wants something new to eat,’ said the
man on horseback. ‘He has eaten of everything
that is known in the world, and pines for something
new. He who brings him a new dish, never
before tasted by him, shall have a thousand
crowns and a new jacket; but he who fails, after
three trials, shall have his jacket taken away from
him, and his head cut off besides.’
“‘I bring strange food,’ said Hokey Pokey.
‘Let me pass in, that I may serve the mighty
Dragon.’
“Then the man on horseback lowered his lance,
and let him pass in, and in short space he came
before the mighty Dragon. The Dragon sat on
a silver throne, with a golden knife in one hand,
and a golden fork in the other. Around him were
many people, who offered him dishes of every description;
but he would none of them, for he had
tasted them all before; and he howled with hunger
on his silver throne. Then came forward
Hokey Pokey, and said boldly,—
“‘Here come I, Hokey Pokey, bringing strange
food for the mighty Dragon.’
“The Dragon howled again, and waving his
knife and fork, bade Hokey Pokey give the food
to the attendants, that they might serve him.
“‘Not so,’ said Hokey Pokey. ‘I must serve
you myself, most mighty Dragon, else you shall
not taste of my food. Therefore put down your
knife and fork, and open your mouth, and you
shall see what you shall see.’
“So the Dragon, after summoning the man-with-the-thousand-crowns
and the man-with-the-new-jacket
to one side of his throne, and the man-to-take-away-the-old-jacket
and the executioner
to the other, laid down his knife and fork and
opened his mouth. Hokey Pokey stepped lightly
forward, and dropped the round loaf down the
great red throat. The Dragon shut his jaws together
with a snap, and swallowed the loaf in two
gulps.
“‘That is good,’ he said; ‘but it is not new. I
have eaten much bread, though never before in a
round loaf. Have you anything more? Or shall
the man take away your jacket?’
“‘I have this, an it please you,’ said Hokey
Pokey; and he dropped the ball of sweetmeats
into the Dragon’s mouth.
“When the Dragon tasted this, he rolled his
eyes round and round, and was speechless with
delight for some time. At length he said, ‘Worthy
youth, this is very good; it is extremely good; it
is better than anything I ever tasted. Nevertheless,
it is not new; for I have tasted the same
kind of thing before, only not nearly so good.
And now, unless you are positively sure that you
have something new for your third trial, you really
might as well take off your jacket; and the executioner
shall take off your head at the same
time, as it is getting rather late. Executioner, do
your—’
“People,” he said, “I am Hokey Pokey.”
“‘Craving your pardon, most mighty Dragon,’
said Hokey Pokey, ‘I will first make my third
trial;’ and with that he dropped the ivory ball
into the Dragon’s mouth.
“‘Gug-wugg-gllll-grrr!’ said the Dragon, for
the ball had stuck fast, being too big for him to
swallow.
“Then Hokey Pokey lifted his mallet and struck
one tremendous blow upon the ball, driving it
far down the throat of the monster, and killing
him most fatally dead. He rolled off the throne
like a scaly log, and his crown fell off and rolled
to Hokey Pokey’s feet. The youth picked it up
and put it on his own head, and then called the
people about him and addressed them.
“‘People,’ he said, ‘I am Hokey Pokey, and
I have come from a far land to rule over you.
Your Dragon have I slain, and now I am your
king; and if you will always do exactly what I
tell you to do, you will have no further trouble.’
“So the people threw up their caps and cried,
‘Long live Hokey Pokey!’ and they always
did exactly as he told them, and had no further
trouble.
“And Hokey Pokey sent for his three brothers,
and made them Chief Butcher, Chief Baker, and
Chief Candlestick-maker of his kingdom. But to
his father he sent a large cudgel made of pure
gold, with these words engraved on it: ‘Now
you cannot complain that I have given you
nothing!’”