_Concord_, May 31st, 1844
_Ownest Phoebe_,
Thy two dearest letters have been received, and gave me infinite
comfort. Oh, keep thyself quiet, best wife, and do not think of coming
home till thou art quite cured, even though Una should grow to be
quite a large girl in the interim. As for me, I get along admirably,
and am at this moment superintending the corned beef, which has been
on the fire, as it appears to me, ever since the beginning of time,
and shows no symptom of being done before the crack of doom. Mrs. Hale
says it must boil till it becomes tender; and so it shall, if I can
find wood to keep the fire a-going. Meantime, I keep my station in the
dining-room, and read or write as composedly as in my own study. Just
now, there came a very important rap to the front door; and I threw
down a smoked herring which I had begun to eat (as there is no hope of
the corned beef to-day) and went to admit the visitor. Who should it
be but Ben, with a very peculiar and mysterious grin upon his face! He
put into my hands a missive directed to "Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne"; it
contained a little hit of card signifying that "Dr. Lemuel Fuller and
Miss Catherine Barrett receive their friends Thursday Eve, June 6th,
at 8 o'clock." I am afraid I shall be too busy washing my dishes, to
pay many visits during thy absence. This washing of dishes does seem
to me the most absurd and unsatisfactory business that I ever
undertook. If, when once washed, they would remain clean forever and
ever, (which they ought in all reason to do, considering how much
trouble it is,) there would be less occasion to grumble; but no sooner
is it done, than it requires to be done again. On the whole I have
come to the resolution not to use more than one dish at each meal.
However, I moralise deeply on this and other matters, and have
discovered that all the trouble and affliction in the world arises
from the necessity of cleansing away our earthly pollutions.
I ate the last morsel of bread, yesterday, and congratulated myself on
being now reduced to the fag-end of necessity. Nothing worse can
happen (according to ordinary modes of thinking) than to want bread;
but, like most afflictions, it is worse in prospect than reality. I
found one cracker in the tureen, and exulted over it as if it had been
so much gold. However, I have sent a petition to Mrs. Prescott,
stating my destitute condition, and imploring her succor; and till it
arrives, I shall keep myself alive on smoked herrings and apples,
together with part of a pint of milk, which I share with Leo. He is my
great trouble now, though an excellent companion too. But it is not
easy to find food for him, unless I give him what is fit for
Christians--though, for that matter, he appears to be as good a
Christian as most laymen, or even as some of the clergy. I fried some
pouts and eels, yesterday, on purpose for him; for he does not like
raw fish. They were very good; but I should hardly have taken the
trouble on my own account.
George Prescott has just come to say, that Mrs. Prescott has no bread
at present, and is gone away this afternoon, but that she will send me
some tomorrow. I mean to have a regular supply from the same
source--which thou shalt repay after thy return.
I go to bed at dusk, now-a-days, out of a tender consideration for the
oil-can, which does not possess the peculiar virtues of the Widow
Cruse's. [sic] Oh, dear little wife! Dost thou even think of me? I
think of thee continually, and of our darling Una, and long to see
both thee and her, yet not with an impatient and importunate longing.
I am too sure of my treasures not to be able to bear a little
separation of them, when it is for thine own good. Thou needest be
under no uneasiness for my sake. Everything goes on well, and I enjoy
my solitude, next to thy society. I suppose I shall write to Mr.
Farley tomorrow, but it would content me well to be quite alone till
thy return. Thou canst not imagine how much the presence of Leo
relieves the feeling of perfect loneliness. He insists upon being in
the room with me all the time, (except at night, when he sleeps in the
shed) and I do not find myself severe enough to drive him out. He
accompanies me, likewise, on all my walks, to the village and
elsewhere; and, in short, keeps at my heels all the time, except when
I go down cellar. Then he stands at the head of the stairs and howls,
as if he never expected to see me again. He is evidently impressed
with the present solitude of our old Abbey, both on his own account
and mine, and feels that he may assume a greater degree of intimacy
than would be otherwise allowable. He will easily be brought within
the old regulations, after thy return.
Ownest, I have written to-day, because I thought thou wouldst be
anxious to know what sort of a life I lead, now that my guest has
departed. Thou wilt see that I am fit to be trusted in my own keeping.
No ghost has haunted me, and no living thing has harmed me. God bless
thee and our little Una. I say to myself, when I feel lonely, "I am a
husband!--I am a father!"--and it makes me so happy!