_Salem_, June 9th, 1842--Afternoon
_Dearest wife_,
I love thee beyond all hope of expression--so do thou measure it by
thine own love for me, if indeed thou canst continue to love me, after
our parting. But never did I love thee better than then; and I am even
glad that this vapor of tobacco smoke did, for once, roll thus darkly
and densely between us, because it helps me to hate the practice
forevermore. Thou wast very sweet not to scold me fiercely, for
allowing myself to be so impregnated.
Sweetest, scarcely had I arrived here, when our mother came out of her
chamber, looking better and more cheerful than I have seen her this
some time, and enquired about the health and well-being of my Dove!
Very kindly too. Then was thy husband's heart much lightened; for I
knew that almost every agitating circumstance of her life had hitherto
cost her a fit of sickness; and I knew not but it might be so now.
Foolish me, to doubt that my mother's love would be wise, like all
other genuine love! And foolish again, to have doubted my Dove's
instinct--whom, henceforth--(if never before)--I take for my unerring
guide and counsellor in all matters of the heart and soul. Yet if,
sometimes, I should perversely follow mine own follies, do not thou be
discouraged. I shall always acknowledge thy superior wisdom in the
end; and, I trust, not too late for it to exert its good influence.
Now I am very happy--happier than my naughtiness deserves. It seems
that our mother had seen how things were, a long time ago. At first,
her heart was troubled, because she knew that much of outward as well
as inward fitness was requisite to secure thy foolish husband's peace;
but, gradually and quietly, God has taught her that all is good; and
so, thou dearest wife, we shall have her fullest blessing and
concurrence. My sisters, too, begin to sympathise as they ought; and
all is well. God be praised! I thank Him on my knees, and pray him to
make me worthy of thee, and of the happiness thou bringest me.
Mine ownest, I long for thee, yet bear our separation patiently,
because time and space, and all other finite obstructions, are so fast
flitting away from between us. We can already measure the interval
by days and hours. What bliss!--and what awe is intermingled with
it!--no fear nor doubt, but a holy awe, as when an immortal spirit is
drawing near to the gate of Heaven. I cannot tell what I feel; but
thou knowest it all.
Sweetest, it is my purpose to remain here till Friday, when, unless
thou forbiddest me, I shall be with thee at seven o'clock. God bless
thee! I have no more words, but a heart full of love.