"Faugh! how it stinks of brimstone!" said Jupiter, "we'll give poor
Cerberus a meal though, for he looks woefully thin; I should not think
Pluto gave him much from his appearance." So down they sat, Cerberus and
Jove's eagle being installed under the table, while Minerva's owl, Juno's
peacock, and the protegés of the other immortals were left to pick up what
they could outside. They had not sat long before the noise of a vast
contention was heard, and the cause being sought, it was discovered to be
a bone which Jupiter had thrown under the table, and which was violently
contested by Cerberus and the eagle. Peace was restored by the expulsion
of the offending eagle, as Jove said he ought to know better, having come
from Olympus, while Cerberus was brought up in Tartarus. All went on
quietly for a time, when Cerberus unfortunately squatted himself down on
Jupiter's thunderbolt, which its master had dropped under the table, and
giving a most terrific yell, rushed between the legs of Mercury's chair,
and upset him in a twinkling, while, almost before he could rise, poor
Cerberus was treading the "facilis descensus Averni," with his posteriors
sadly blackened by the accident; and roaring with pain as the gods were
with laughter. Dinner passed on without any more accidents, and when the
ladies retired, Vulcan and Mars sat down to écarté, at which the former
proved the winner. Apollo drily remarked, (having just finished his daily
journey and joined the gods) that Vulcan had netted Mars's cash as well as
himself. Mars rose in a great rage, when Jupiter recommended him not to be
nettled, which only made him ten times more so. A quarrel was the
consequence; and Jupiter thinking it best to return before bloodshed was
committed, asked Apollo to yoke his team again, and drive them home, which
he readily consented to do: that night seemed unusually light to the
inhabitants of the hemisphere, and many learned heads were puzzled to
discover the cause of the phenomenon, but though many explanations were
given, the real reason remained undiscovered to this day--in which I have
the pleasure of laying it before my readers.