BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH
For three days Count Leonardo di Marioni abode in his sitting-room at
the Hotel Continental, living the life of a man in a dream. So far as
the outside world was concerned, it was a complete case of suspended
animation. Of all that passed around him he was only dimly conscious.
The faces of his fellow creatures were strange to him. He had lost touch
with the world, and the light of his reason was flickering; almost it
seemed as though it would go out indeed, and leave him groping in the
chaos of insanity. Mechanically he rose late in the morning, ate what
was brought to him, or ordered what was suggested. All day long he sat
in a sort of dreamless apathy, living still the life of the last
five-and-twenty years, and finding no change, save that the chair in
which he sat was softer, and the fire over which he stretched his
withered palms was a new experience to him. There were things even which
he missed in the freedom--if freedom it could be called. He missed the
warm dancing sunlight which, day by day, had filled the shabby
sitting-room of his confinement. He missed that patch of deep blue sky
seen through his high, barred window, and the fragrant scents of the
outside world which, day by day, had floated through it. He missed the
kindly greeting of his pitying gaoler, and the simple food--the
macaroni, the black coffee, and the fruit--which had been served to him;
and above all, there was something else which he missed.
For through all his apathy he was conscious of a great sickening
disappointment, something gone out of his life which had helped him, day
by day, through all that weary imprisonment. Dear to his heart had grown
that hope of standing one day before the masters of his Order, and
claiming, as his rightful due, vengeance upon those whose word had sent
him into captivity. Dear to his memory and treasured among his thoughts
had grown that hope. In his prison house he had grown narrower; other
thoughts and purposes had faded away. That one only remained, growing
stronger and stronger day by day, until it had seized hold of his whole
being. He lived only through it and with it.
Given some soul-absorbing purpose, some cherished end, however dimly
seen through the mists of futurity, and a man may preserve his reason
through the longest captivity; while, day by day, his narrowing life
contracts till all conscience, all hope, all sentiment, become the
slaves of that one passionate desire. Day by day, it looms larger before
him; day by day, all doubts concerning it grow weaker, and the justice
of it becomes clearer and more unquestioned. Right and wrong, justice
and injustice, according to other men's standards, have no power over it
in his own thoughts. His moral sense slumbers. So deeply has it become
grafted into his life, that he no more questions its right to exist than
he does the presence of the limbs upon his body. As surely as the night
follows day, so surely does his whole being gravitate toward the
accomplishment of his desire. It is a part of what is left of his life,
and if it is smitten, his life is smitten. They are at once sympathetic
and identical, so closely entwined that to sever them is death to both.
Thus it was with Count Marioni, and thus it was that, day by day, he sat
in his sitting-room slowly pining to death. Rude feet had trampled upon
the desire of his life, and the wound was open and bleeding. Only a
little while longer and he would have turned upon his side with a sigh,
and yielded up his last breath; and, so far as his numbed faculties
could have conceived a thought, death would have seemed very pleasant to
him. He was dying of loneliness, of disappointment and despair.
The people at the hotel had made several attempts to rouse him, but in
vain. He answered no questions, and in his quiet way resented intrusion.
He paid whatever was demanded, and he gave no trouble. The manager, who
knew his history from a short cutting in a newspaper which had
chronicled his arrival in London, was at his wits' end to know how to
save him. He had once endeavored to reason gently with his eccentric
visitor, and he had been bidden quietly to leave the room. On his
endeavoring to make one more appeal, the Count had risen quietly and
pointed to the door.
"I wish only to be left in peace," he said, with a touch of dignity in
his sad, calm manner. "If you cannot do that I will go away to another
hotel. Choose!"
The manager had bowed and withdrawn in silence. But he was a
kind-hearted man, and he was still troubled about the matter. Day by day
the Count was growing weaker; before long he would doubtless die from
sheer distaste of living as much as from any actual disease. Something
ought to be done toward communicating with his friends, if he had any.
With a certain amount of reluctance, the manager, as a last resource,
penned the following advertisement and sent it to the principal London
papers:
"If there are any friends or relatives still alive of Count
Leonardo di Marioni, who has recently been set free by the
Italian Government after a long term of imprisonment, they are
requested to communicate, personally, if possible, with the
manager of the Hotel Continental, where the Count is now lying
dangerously ill."