----The nature of our people,
Our city's institutions, and the terms
Of common justice, y'are as pregnant in
As art and practice hath enriched any
That we remember. There is our commission!
MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
Fully resolved justly and conscientiously to discharge with unremitting
and unceasing attention the responsible duties of his high office, the
Duke now commenced his vice-regal career. He arose at an early hour, and
whatever public business was to be transacted, he constantly despatched
before the hour of breakfast. He was polite, courteous, and accessible
to all; his was the _suaviter in modo_, but it was also accompanied with
the _fortiter in re_.
The first day for holding a vice-regal levee, as specified by public
notice from the Chamberlain's office, having arrived, it commenced
exactly at one o'clock, and was most numerously attended. Among the vast
assemblage were noticed the Lord Mayor, the Lord High Chancellor Sir
Alexander Fitton Lord Baron of Gausworth; the judges and great officers
of state; a long train of gentry, numerous members of the lower and
upper houses of parliament attended; many a grave and reverend prelate,
and many a baron bold--"_Post alios_; _fortemque Gyan_, _fortemque
Cloanthum_," &c.
The company appeared arrayed in full and appropriate court costume.
There were likewise present the different staff officers, besides those
of the garrison; and a large body of ecclesiastics, Protestant and
Catholic, attended. The ceremonies of the day were throughout conducted
with great decorum and propriety.
Among the notable personages that were this day presented to the Duke,
we must not omit to notice the Honourable Mr. Berenger, M. P. for the
County of----, of an ancient and ennobled family, whose ancestor came
to Ireland in the time of the second Henry. He wore a very large black
curled peruke, which flowed like a lion's mane adown his shoulders; his
coat and small-clothes were of light blue velvet, richly embroidered; a
waistcoat richly worked, and adorned with foliations formed of various
precious stones. He wore, too, a superb diamond-hilted sword; diamond
shoe and knee buckles; silk stockings, with gold embroidered clokes; and
the heels of his shoes were of red Morocco leather. He was indeed,
beyond all dispute, the unparalleled dandy of his day! Mr. Berenger had
been in his youth a very handsome man; but his face now was deadly pale;
and his eyes, which had been once brilliant as the diamonds which
adorned him, reposed, dim and shorn of their beams, within their hollow
and shrivelled sockets. Time, too, had left his stern impress in the
indented furrows of the cheek and the care-scored wrinkles of his brow:
he looked the languid voluptuary, while surfeit and satiety seemed to
seal up his lips. His figure, notwithstanding, was yet even still fine
and commanding. His countenance, however, spoke more plainly of the
preterpluperfect than either of the present or future tense. His eyes
reposed on the carpet or upon vacancy; they had in them "no speculation,
that they did glare withal." When attending the gay and dissipated court
of the second Charles he had often revelled with Rochester, and jested
with Killigrew and, moreover, had the high distinction paid him of
being called "a very finished gentleman indeed" by the witty monarch,
"whose word no man relied on!"
The eccentric Mr. Berenger had severally proposed at three different
times a matrimonial alliance with Lady Lucy, the Duke's youngest sister,
who politely, but positively refused him; and upon some overtures to
renew his solicitations, Lady Lucy observed, that as she had so long
delayed to marry for love, she was now resolved not to marry in the
capacity of a nurse-tender! This was so home an _argumentum ad
superbiam_ a cut and thrust at the pride of the Honourable Member, that
he now seemed to have no intention of becoming a Benedict. Lady Letitia
found great fault with her sister, complained of her cruelty, and
sturdily maintained "that the Honourable M. P. having shewn such a
confirmed constancy, ought not to have met with this sharp repulse; for
it was evident and manifest that Mr. Berenger did not indeed belong to
the shabby class of '_perhaps_' suitors.
But it is now time that we should return from this digression. Sir John
Caldwell was at the levee, and his _protegè_, our quondam acquaintance
Doctor Dismal Drew, a newly-appointed chaplain, in a gown and cassock
spick and span, who having fully acceded to the rules and stipulations
of address, costume, and conduct, appeared indeed to have been moulded
into quite a different personage. However his strange absence of mind
and defect of judgment fully remained unaltered, as was fully
exemplified on the ensuing Sunday, when he preached a sermon at the
castle chapel before the Duke and his vice-regal suite. The text was
chosen in bad tact, however, and still worse policy: it was selected
from the xxvth chapter of Proverbs, 5th verse: "Take away the wicked
from before the king, and his throne shall be established in
righteousness!" This was unquestionably an uncalled for attack upon the
ministry, upon the noble viceroy, and on his patron; and his name was
struck out of the list of chaplains, never to be again restored. So much
for Doctor Drew! whose head seemed to be obtuse albeit--certainly,
however, it was never destined to be encircled with that ornament with
which Sancho crowned the head of his favourite Dapple.
Early on the succeeding day her Grace the Duchess of Tyrconnel, the
lovely Lady Adelaide, Ladies Letitia and Lucy, escorted by the polite
and facetious Sir Patricius Placebo, arrived safely at Dublin Castle,
and were most warmly and affectionately received by the Duke and
viceroy.
The vice-regal party sat down to dinner at their usual and not
irrational hour of four o'clock, which, in these our modern days of
dissipation and late hours, would be considered as an hour for dinner
quite gothic and _à la Bourgeois_; for in these our polished days of
finished taste and refinement, late hours seem to be the very _acme_ of
fashion; late dinners necessarily being succeeded by late suppers, and,
_par consèquence_, afternoon breakfasts, in consequatory succession,
bringing up the rere of fashionable high-life to the great practice and
benefit of the College of Physicians.
The conversation after dinner was lively and agreeable. The Duchess
described their journey, and gave many traits of the good feeling and
humour of the lower classes, as witnessed in their journey from
Tyrconnel Castle. When the ladies had retired, Lord Glandarah, who was
of the party, speaking of the eccentric Mr. Berenger, who had been at
the levee on the preceding day, turning to Sir Patricius, inquired of
him if he knew that eccentric personage? and the following reply, aided
by the effects of brisk Champaign, thus effervesced and flowed from his
lips: "Oh, yes, my Lord, I have before these days met with Count
Berenger, as he was called; I have too heard him converse with the
Windsor beauties, whose similitudes Sir Peter Lely, of pictorial fame,
----'On animated canvass stole
Their sleepy eye that speaks the melting soul.'
Ay, my Lord, and often have I met him at the carousals of old King
Carolus, now defunct, but of blessed memory! He is _certes_ the
completely finished gentleman. He was once gay, and airy, and agreeable;
but now in sooth I must say that he looks as sombre and demure as a
solemn gentleman of the long robe extending his silken train, and
dancing down a paven![17] In the sublime art of eating he is not a
professor, but an artist, only munches the sunny side of a peach or a
nectarine; when he wishes to be helped to fowl or chicken, he is always
sure to bespeak the liver wing; knows all the nice cuts in a haunch of
venison, and he can carve you twenty nice _morceaux_ from the head of a
cod-fish; he knows too how turtle should be cooked, and how duly to
appreciate callipash and callipe; a glass of liqueur or genuine Coniac
he knows as well as I do to be a safe, salutary, and no unpleasant
condiment to his fish. In a word, his is the true art of _sçavoir
vivre_; and 'fore Jove or great Apollo, if this were a writing or a
printing age, I should incontinently like and admire to have 'Culinary
Lucubrations, or the whole divine Art of Cookery,' from the pen of the
honourable and polished Mr. Berenger! But it was a sad omission of mine,
my Lord, not to include among his various accomplishments, that he is an
excellent judge of wines, and an excellent taster too, to boot; for he
would never mistake Port wine for Tokay, Chambertin for Chateau-Margut,
nor Vin de Grave for Hock! I think there is no going beyond these. Here,
then, I sum up the climax of his character, 'not to know him argues
one's self unknown!'--My Lord Glandarah, your Lordship's very good
health."
[17] The _paven_ (from _pavo_, a peacock) is a grave, majestic
dance. The method of dancing it was anciently by gentlemen dressed
with a cap and sword; by those of the long robe in their gowns; by
the princes in their mantles; and by ladies in gowns with long
trains, the motion whereof in the dance resembled that of a
_peacock's tail_. This dance is supposed to have been invented by
the Spaniards, and its figure is given, with the characters for
the steps, in the _Orchesographia_ of Thoinet Arbeau.--See Note to
"_The Mad Lover_." Beaumont and Fletcher's Works, vol. IV. p. 186.
Here the noble Duke, concluding from the foregoing symptoms that the
Doctor had not omitted taking his _quantum sufficit_ of Burgundy,
proposed another flask to Lord Glandarah, or some coffee with the
ladies. The ladies had the preference given them; and the Duke retiring
to the drawing-room, was followed by his guests.
"I have," whispered Sir Patricius to Lord Glandarah, "observed, in
divers companies and upon several occasions, that His Grace in these
matters always leaves the discussion to the _liberum arbitrium_ of his
guests."
"And," replied the Peer, "Gad save my soul, I laud his discreet
resolution!"
The Duchess appointed her first drawing-room for the succeeding
evening. It may not be amiss here to acquaint the reader, that at the
period of which we now write, court dresses were universally worn by
both sexes at evening routes and balls: the gentlemen appeared in full
court costume, with bags, swords, and buckles; and the ladies with
monstrous bell-hoops, and portentous stomachers of an ell in longitude!
and withal incased in the cumbrous accoutrement of a heavy stiffened
silk mantua; while their false and elevated tetes reminded one of Pelion
piled up on Ossa.
The above remarks will be sufficient to account for the short notice
given for the intended drawing-room. We would also observe upon the
hours at which the worthy folks of these days assembled at their evening
parties. At this period of time the fashionable hour of paying visits
was not, as it is now, in the morning, or rather mid-day, when every
body is abroad, but it was in the evening, when every one almost was at
home; and the visiting hour commenced at so early an hour as seven
o'clock. In the autumnal and winter months the saloons and
drawings-rooms of the noblesse and gentry in Dublin were at that hour,
or at the first visitor's knock at the door, immediately brilliantly
lighted up, and if both parties were perfectly disengaged, the guests
remained; each room displaying richly cut glass lustres and glass
chandeliers illuminated with wax; there was a numerous display of
card-tables; the servants attending in rich liveries; while lords and
knights, and commoners, and stately dames, and ladies gay, came attired
in their court costume. The company partook of tea, coffee, &c.; in the
course of the evening lemonade, orgeat, cake, wine, negus, jellies,
sweetmeats, and confections, (for the luxury of ice was then unknown,)
were handed around to the company, many of whom had meantime sat down to
the card-table, some playing whist, cribbage, or tredrille; some at
ombre, and others at loo. And as the clock struck ten the company
separated, and all retired.
Ladies of high rank usually visited in their state sedan-chairs, which
were stuffed, and lined with white and pink satin, and externally
decorated with different rich ornaments; large silk tassels dangled at
the four angular points of the roof, and the highest top, or pinnacle,
was surmounted by a gilt coronet reposing on a crimson cushion; three,
sometimes four, footmen, according to the rank of the individual,
habited in splendid liveries, and arranged in single files, preceded the
sedan-chair, each bearing a lighted flambeau. And sooth to say, some of
the old dowagers, when the doubtful light of the flambeau flashed upon
their withered visages, incontinently reminded the spectator of the
waxen figure of queen Elizabeth in the glass-case at Westminster-Abbey!
The drawing-room night arrived, and was crowded by numbers of the
nobility and gentry of both sexes, when the old and the young were
assembled together. It was indeed a splendid scene--a galaxy of beauty
and magnificence; the dresses were superb; and bright and brilliant were
the blaze of gems and jewels that adorned the brows, ears, and encircled
the lovely necks of the young, and sparkled on those of a more matronly
description. The youthful and lovely fair presenting no unfavourable
specimen of the beauty of the daughters of Erin; their cheeks rivalling
the rose, and blushing in graceful adolescence; while their lovely
bosoms, glowing in healthful bloom, reflected a pearly radiance around
the diamonds which sparkled upon and adorned them.
Several ladies of the nobility and gentry, amounting to many hundreds,
were presented, and all of whom were most graciously received by the
truly kind and agreeable Duchess.
The amusements of the evening commenced. Several grave minuets were
danced in a most marvellous solemn pace; to these succeeded the _minùet
de là Cour_, which was danced by Sir Patricius Placebo and Lady Letitia
Raymond, to the great entertainment of the Duke and Duchess, whose
gravity, in sooth to say, was upon this occasion quite borne down and
vanquished. Then followed cotillions, which were succeeded
by contre-dances, which ended the amusements of the night. Numerous
card-tables were placed, and were not unoccupied by the elder part of
the assemblage, many of whom went away with their purses many a _minus_
diminished, when they at solemn leisure reckoned their losses on the
said night or ensuing morning. But the fun and the drollery of the
evening seemed to concentrate in the ridicule attached to Sir Philip
Fumbally, a civic knight and alderman, who somewhat resembled, in
corporal shape and form, the paunch of Falstaff, with all the stiffness
of mine ancient Pistol--aye, and the very nose of renowned Bardolph!
However we must take up the brush and finish our portrait. Sir Philip
was in stature about four feet five, a perfect rotundity in corpulence,
fat short hands, fat short legs; and his face--oh, ye gods, such a face
was his! Forehead, he had none! his hair was red, his small ferret eyes
were grey, if eyes they could be called, which were indeed to him _no
windows of the soul_! but closed as if under the awful influence of
Somnus! His nose was flat, and in colour ruddy red, his chubby cheeks
the same; and his mouth opened and grinned with all the agreeability of
a cayman or crocodile! His laugh and look were horrid, the former the
diapason of a demon, and the latter the very outline of Memistopheles.
Leaning upon his unwieldy arm was seen his long-necked, long-armed, and
long-legged ugly lady. The Irish, who are somewhat "both the great,
vulgar, and the small," too much given liberally to bestow
_soubriquets_, nicknamed this unparalleled pair _flesh and bone_! And
Sir Patricius Placebo somewhat wittily observed, upon his word of
honour, as a true knight, that Lady Fumbally always reminded him of an
undertaker's horse, a Rosinante covered with a compound of velvet
trappings and nodding plumage, withal to cover the skeleton which they
adorned!
When the presentations commenced, Sir Philip, "like a doating mallard,"
waddled after the unfurled train of "his darling duckie," (by which
endearing name he familiarly styled my Lady Fumbally,) it so happened
that in discharging this uxorious task he tripped up fairly, or rather
foully, his lady's train, and by which losing his equipoise, the worthy
knight was very nearly tripped up himself. The courtiers all tittered,
and some indeed extended it to a most uncourtly loud laugh. The lady,
like unto Lot's wife, would fain turn around in defiance of all courtly
etiquette, and her visage seemed deeply to participate in the
_bouleversement_ of her velvet train. Here the amiable knight,
compassionating her trodden down vanity, fairly took up the said
portentous train, which was soon somewhat incontinently snatched by a
chamberlain in waiting from the grasp of the knight, and again permitted
to perform its meanders on the carpet _ad libitum_. The laugh and
titters were again renewed. Mr. Berenger, who was standing close to Sir
Patricius Placebo, seemed to be quite roused from his usual
_nonchalance_, and whispered Sir Patricius, "this is too bad, _risu
ineptu nulla res ineptior est_; (nothing is so foolish as the laugh of
fools!) however, we courtiers are always too fond of a laugh, that is to
say, (_crede experto_,) provided that it be never directed against
ourselves! Sir Patricius, we (with his fore-finger touching the facial
nerve of his nose) _have been_ at the court of good old Carolus!"
The worthy Baronet, to whom these observations were addressed, did not
commit himself by one single comment, but silently nodded, and was
meantime taking snuff with immoderate rapidity, and in no stinted
quantities; and when these piquant remarks were made by the ornament of
the old court, Sir Patricius politely and gently as possible laughed
(_voce depresso_) his heh, heh, heh, and his ahem! "Yes, yes, Mr.
Berenger, _indeed we_ have seen the world!--ahem!
DOSS MOI, TANE STIGMEN!"
Sir Philip Fumbally was the renowned and recorded alderman who at a
civic feast loudly proclaimed that Marshal Turenne had taken GREAT
UMBRAGE, and proposed as a right gallant toast--"Health to the mighty
and glorious conqueror of GREAT UMBRAGE, the valiant Turenne!" The toast
was drank with great enthusiasm; but soon each civic guest asked
significantly his neighbour the geographical position of GREAT UMBRAGE;
was it in France, in Flanders, Utopia, or the Lord knows where? The
Gazetteer was put in requisition, and the general atlas (such as the
times afforded) were called for, and were conned over. But alas!
UMBRAGE--the proud, the great, and mighty, could no where be found; its
place was a blank amid the nations!
What conduced to the mistake or blunder was, that a pique had arisen at
that time between General Konigsmark and General Geis (subsequent to the
passage of the river Neckar in Germany,) against the Duc d'Enghien, (by
whose valour that pass was won, and also Wimpfen was taken;) declaring
that the two former would quit the army, &c. At this declaration the
Field Marshal Viscount Turenne, it was rumoured, had _taken_ UMBRAGE! It
was upon this _datum_ that the worthy alderman had built his _el
dorado_, his airy citadel, his undiscoverable principality and victory!
But Turenne soared above the impetuosity of Konigsmark, and the
obstinacy of the other two. Turenne was a hero! and one who would scorn
to the city achievement of _taking_ UMBRAGE from friend or foe!
For about the space of an hour the lovely Lady Adelaide was permitted to
remain at the drawing-room, the delight of every eye, and the theme of
every tongue.
The Duke sat down to play at tredrille with the Countess Dowager of
Ossory and Lord Glandarah. This game, as the name implies, was played by
three persons at a small triangular table, which in these our degenerate
days, are shown only as curiosities in the cabinets of the curious; and
the Duke, when they left off play, arose a winner of about twenty
pounds; for in their quiet, snug way the good folks of those days often
lost or won fourteen or fifteen pounds of the current coin of the realm
at a pool of tredrille, which was then considered _most moderate_ play!
About the hour of eleven o'clock the Duke and Duchess, who had been much
gratified and amused during the course of the evening, arose, and bowing
most gracefully and courteously to their guests, broke up the
drawing-room, and retired.
The company soon departed for their homes, highly pleased and
gratified with the courteous deportment of the noble pair; charmed alike
by their affable manners and fascinating attentions equally bestowed on
all. It would be tedious at this time of day to detail the names, and it
might seem invidious to record the particular beauties that graced the
brilliant circle, which upon that memorable evening crowded and adorned
the splendid suite of rooms at Dublin Castle.