I had no need to look for a lodging in Paris. One of my friends, the
young Count de V----, who had just returned from his travels, was to
spend the winter and the following spring there, and had offered to
share with me a little _entresol_ that he occupied, over the rooms of
the concierge in the magnificent hotel (since pulled down) of the
Maréchal de Richelieu, in the Rue Neuve St. Augustin. The Count de
V----, with whom I was in almost daily correspondence, knew all. I had
given him a letter of introduction to Julie, that he might know the
soul of my soul, and that he might understand, if not my delirium, at
least my adoration for that woman. At first sight, he comprehended and
almost shared my enthusiasm. In his letters, he always alluded, with
tender pity and respect, to that fair vision of melancholy, which
seemed hovering between life and death, and only detained on earth, he
said, by the ineffable love she bore to me. He always spoke to me of
her as of a heavenly gift, sent to my eyes and heart, and which would
raise me above human nature as long as I remained enveloped in her
radiance. V----, who was persuaded of the holy and superhuman nature of
our attachment, considered it as a virtue, and felt no repugnance to
being the mediator and confidant of our love. Julie, on her part, spoke
of V---- as the only friend she considered worthy of me, and for whom
she would have wished to increase my friendship, instead of detracting
from it by a mean jealousy of the heart. Both urged me to come to
Paris, but V----, alone, knew the secret motives, and the strictly
material impossibility, which had detained me till then. Spite of his
devoted friendship, of which he gave me, until his death, so many
proofs during the troubles of my life, it was not in his power at that
time to remove the obstacles that arrested me. His mother had exhausted
her means to give him an education befitting his rank, and to allow him
to travel through Europe. He was himself deep in debt, and could only
offer me a corner in the apartment that his family provided for him. As
to all the rest, he was, at that time of his life, as poor and as much
enslaved as myself by the want so cruelly defined by Horace--_Res
angustæ domi_.
I left M---- in a little one-horse jaunting car, consisting of a wooden
seat on an axle-tree, and four poles which supported a tarpaulin to
shelter us against the rain. These cars changed horses every four or
five miles, and served to convey to Paris the masons from the
Bourbonnais and from Auvergne, the weary pedestrians they met on the
road, and soldiers lamed by their long marches who were glad to spare a
day's fatigue for a few sous. I felt no shame or annoyance at this
vulgar mode of conveyance; I would have travelled barefooted through
the snow, and not have felt less proud or less happy, for I was thus
saving one or two louis with which I could purchase some days of
happiness. I reached the barrier of Paris without having felt a pebble
of the road. The night was dark, and it was raining hard; I took up my
portmanteau, and soon after knocked at the door of the humble lodging
of the Count de V----.
He was waiting for me; he embraced me, and spoke of her. I was never
wearied of questioning and listening to him. That same evening I was to
see Julie. V---- was to announce my arrival, and prepare her for joy.
When every visitor had retired from Julie's drawing-room, V---- was to
leave last of all to join me at a little _café_ of the neighborhood
where I was to wait for him, and give me notice that she was alone, and
that I might throw myself at her feet. It was only after I had learned
all these particulars that I thought of drying my clothes and taking
some refreshment. I then took possession of the dark alcove of his
ante-room, which was lighted by one round window, and heated by a
stove. I dressed myself neatly and simply, so that she I loved might
not blush for me before her friends.
At eleven o'clock V---- and I went out on foot; we proceeded together
as far as the window which I knew so well. There were three carriages
at the door. V---- went up, and I retired to wait for him at the
appointed place. How long that hour seemed while I waited for him! How
I execrated those visitors who, involuntarily importunate, came in
their indifference to dispose of some idle hours, and delayed the
reunion of two fond hearts who counted each second of their martyrdom
by their palpitations! At last V---- appeared; I followed rapidly on
his steps, he left me at the door, and I went up.