FOOLING MR. FOX
It was fully ten minutes before Mr. Bunny brought the conversation
with his wife to a close, and then she hopped away as if very angry,
looking over her shoulder now and then at him as he jumped up on the
log again.
"Yes, that is Mrs. Bunny," he said with a sigh, as he stroked his
whiskers thoughtfully. "Do you know, that foolish rabbit thinks I'm
wasting my time, sitting here telling you stories about the club
members, because she wanted me to run over to Mr. Man's farm for more
young carrots. Upon my word I'm almost ashamed to call on him so
often; it really seems as if I, and other members of the Rabbit
family, had gathered more than half his crop already, and surely he
ought to have a few after he has spent so much time planting them for
us and his boy Tommy has very nearly broken his back at the weeding.
"There isn't the least little bit of danger in running over there,
especially if he has gone out with Towser, as she said, and I asked
why it was that a big fellow like Sonny Bunny couldn't go after a few
carrots when his father had other business on hand. Then, if you'll
believe it, she almost the same as accused me of being willing to send
Sonny into danger because I was afraid to go myself, and I the very
rabbit who killed Grandfather Fox!
"Well, I didn't really put him out of the world with my own paws; but
I led him into a trap where Mr. Man found him later, and if that isn't
the same as killing him I'd like to know what it is? Mrs. Bunny is
forever wanting carrots; if her head aches, there's nothing to be done
but get young carrots, when they're in season, I mean. If she gets
nervous about Sonny Bunny, then the only thing to straighten her out
is a bunch of carrots, and so it goes on all the time, till I'm
actually worn down to skin and bones ministering to her whims.
"How did I kill Grandfather Fox? That's a long story; but I'll tell it
to you as soon as I finish with Jimmy Hedgehog's narrow escape, and
surely he did have the slimmest squeak for his life that ever any
animal had! When Mr. Man's gun went off at the very minute Jimmy
jumped, I thought for certain he was a gone hedgehog, and was
wondering whether I couldn't get Mr. Crow to go and break the news to
his family; but a minute later I saw the bushes waving furiously over
by the stone wall. Then I looked around for the dead body, and so did
Mr. Man, but it wasn't there. 'Cause why? 'Cause Jimmy wasn't anywhere
near dead.
"How Mr. Man did scold because he didn't find any hedgehog lying
around loose! He blamed it on the gun; then he declared that it was
all owing to old Mr. Crow, and vowed he'd spend the rest of the week
hunting for the president of the club, just because he had warned
Jimmy. Well, he might hunt two weeks for Mr. Crow, and unless he came
upon him when the old fellow was asleep, I'll answer for it he
couldn't kill him, for the president of our club is always wide awake.
"Do you know, I've seen Mr. Man, his boy Tommy, and two of the
servants, out looking for that same old crow, and shooting off their
guns till you'd thought it was Fourth of July, and yet never a single
tail feather belonging to Mr. Crow was rumpled. When you catch Mr.
Weasel asleep you may kill that bird; but not before.
"Of course, when I saw that Jimmy had got away I started off after
him, for it wasn't pleasant to stay there while Mr. Man was in such a
rage, because he might try to get even with me on account of the
carrots, so off I toddled, taking precious good care to keep under
cover all the while, till I came to the big oak, and there was Jimmy,
washing his face. I can't make out how he succeeds in doing it without
nearly killing himself with the quills that stick up all over his
body.
"'He never touched me!' Jimmy said with a grin, when he saw me, and I
thought that was a good time to read him a lecture on the wicked folly
of being so careless when he knew as well as I do that everybody on
the farm is ready to kill one of the Hedgehog family, though why
people should be so down on Jimmy's folks I can't make out, for they
mind their business as a general rule.
"'You needn't talk to me,' Jimmy said before I'd more than half spoken
what was in my mind. 'After that jump of mine I'll back myself against
the whole farm gang.'
"'But you'd have stood there like a silly till your head was shot off
if it hadn't been for Mr. Crow,' I said, just a bit provoked because
Jimmy seemed to take all the credit of the escape to himself.
"'How do you know?' he asked, speaking as pert as ever did Cheeko.
'You can't tell, but I was getting ready to jump at the very minute
Mr. Crow came sailing around, as if he'd gone crazy.'
"Now what do you think of such talk as that from a fellow who had
barely pulled through by the skin of his teeth? I didn't waste any
more time on him, but walked off, and then was the time that I killed
Grandfather Fox. You see the old fellow had been after my scalp more
times than I've got claws on my paws, and it so happened that I always
gave him the slip without trying very hard; but Mrs. Bunny had said to
me over and over again:
"'Don't crow, Bunny; at least, don't crow so loud. Don't you know that
pride goeth before a fall? Some day you'll meet Grandfather Fox where
he'll have the best of it, and then Sonny will be without a father.'
"I made believe laugh, when Mrs. Bunny said such things, but 'way
down in my heart I was frightened, for it stood to reason that I
couldn't always expect to come off best when I ran up against an old
villain like him. But what could I do? You wouldn't expect that I'd
stay at home every minute just because of being scared. Why, everybody
in the big woods would be laughing at me worse than ever; they say now
that I'm afraid of my own shadow, but it isn't true, as any one who
ever saw me dancing in the moonlight can testify. Besides, it is my
business as the head of the family to do the marketing, and if I laid
at home snug Mrs. Bunny and Sonny would stand a chance of starving to
death.
"You can put it down in your hat that I was mighty cautious, however,
whenever I went out, for I said to myself that if Grandfather Fox ever
got his teeth into my back it wouldn't be owing to my own
carelessness.
"Well, as I was saying, I walked away when Jimmy Hedgehog began to
make so much foolish talk, and just for the moment had forgotten all
about that miserable fox, when whom should I see staring straight at
me but the old fellow himself, and by the way he was licking his
chops I knew he felt certain I was his meat at last. But the matter
wasn't settled by considerable, for he was on one side of a
barbed-wire fence and I on the other, so there was something to be
done before he could put me into a pie.
"You can make up your mind that I did a power of thinking in a few
seconds, and even if I am just the least little bit cowardly when it
comes to fighting, I'm a master hand at finding my way out of a bad
scrape. That very morning I had seen Mr. Man and his boy Tommy setting
a big steel trap down at the edge of the swamp on the very side of the
fence I then was, and it seemed to me as if it might do me a world of
good just at that time.
"'Good-morning, Grandfather,' I said, mild as milk, and staring at the
wicked old fellow as if he were the best friend a lone rabbit could
possibly have.
"'How well you look, Bunny,' he said, opening his mouth till I could
see every tooth he had, and knew he was longing to stick them into me.
'I don't believe I ever saw a prettier coat than the one you have on.
There was a time, after you had met the 'Squire, when it was rather
ragged.'
"'I've had it mended since then,' and I laughed as if believing he had
said something terribly funny, for, even if I'm not the bravest animal
in the world, I wouldn't let a mangy old fox think I was afraid of
him, no matter how scared I might be.
"'You and I haven't been very good friends in the past; but it isn't
too late to change all that,' and he came close up to the fence as he
spoke, while I looked over my shoulder to see that the way was clear
for running, as I said:
"'I've always been busy when you wanted a chat; but now that we're on
the opposite sides of a fence, and the barbs on the wires are mighty
sharp, there's no reason why we shouldn't get better acquainted.'
"'That's what I would like,' and he grinned till I could see half-way
down his throat. 'The only trouble is that I've got a dreadful cold,
and it tears me all to pieces to speak loudly enough for you to hear.
Why not come on this side, or wait till I can get over on that, and
then we can talk at our leisure?'
"'That's what I'd like to do,' and I shook my ears in a way such as I
knew provoked him; 'but Mrs. Bunny says that colds are catching, and
I wouldn't like to run the chances of taking yours.'
"Then he wrinkled up his nose as he looked around to find a way to
jump at me without taking the risk of getting torn pretty near to
pieces on the barbs, and don't forget that I kept my ears moving
mighty fast, for there was no telling when my legs would be needed to
save my skin. It wasn't many seconds before I saw his tail begin to
swing from one side to the other, and I knew he'd made up some plan in
his mind, so I said free and easy like, but keeping my eye on the path
all the while:
"'I know you'd like to have me stay with you longer, Grandfather Fox,
but we're expecting company at our house to-night, and I must be
moving, else Mrs. Bunny will begin to think I've fallen in with
rogues. Perhaps when we meet again I'll have more time.'
"Then I started off limperty, limperty, limp, as if I weren't in any
very great hurry, and the old fellow trotted along on the other side
of the fence, watching out sharp for a chance to get through.
"It wasn't a great while before we came to where one of the wires had
been broken, and I knew that it was up to me to show how fast we
rabbits could run, for he came through with a rush, as he snarled:
"'I reckon you'd better go home with me this time, Bunny. It so
happens that my wife is expecting company, too, and she is needing a
fat rabbit like you for dinner.'
"It would really have done your heart good if you could have seen how
I skipped over the ground, with that red-mouthed old fellow so close
behind that his breath actually ruffled the fur on my back. Just for a
minute I began to think that I had taken too many chances, and would
really go home with the villain, for one of his strides was equal to
three or four of mine, and he was putting in his best licks, as I knew
only too well, having been chased by him many a time before.
"Then, and it wasn't any too soon, I can tell you, we came to the
clump of bushes where I knew Mr. Man and his boy Tommy had hidden the
trap, and you'd better believe I gathered my legs under me for the
jump of my life, for if I made a mistake then I was done for, sure.
"You'd thought I had wings by the way I went up into the air, counting
on striking the bushes near the top so's not to get caught, and as
luck would have it, I hit the mark just right. Over I went quick as a
shot, and in a jiffy I'd doubled back, getting under cover at the very
moment when Grandfather Fox tried the jump.
"The old fellow wasn't as spry on his feet as he had been the last
time we had a race, and when he came down, instead of clearing the
bushes as I had done, he flopped right down into the middle of them. I
heard a sharp click, and then such a howl as never was in the big
woods before. Grandfather Fox had landed exactly where I counted he
would!" and Bunny Rabbit rocked to and fro on the log, hugging his
knees with his fore paws, laughing until it was absolutely impossible
for him to continue his story for several minutes.