"There was in what is now known as the Via del Corno an ancient palace,
which a long time ago was inhabited only by a certain gentleman and a
goblin. {21}
"Nor had he any servants, because of all who came, none remained more
than one day for fear of the _folletto_. And as this spread far and
wide, people kept away from the Via del Corno after dark; but as this
also kept away thieves, and the goblin did all the house-work, the master
was all the better pleased. Only on one point did the two differ, and
that was the point of morality. Here the goblin was extremely strict,
and drew the line distinctly. Several times, as was the custom in those
wicked days, the Signore attempted to introduce a lady-friend to the
palazzo, but the goblin all night long, when not busied in pulling the
sheets from the fair sinner, was industriously occupied in strewing
nettles or burrs under her, or tickling the soles of her feet with a pen;
and then anon, when, sinking to sleep, she hoped for some remission of
the tease, he would begin to play interminable airs on a horn. It is
true that he played beautifully, like no earthly musician, but even
enchanting airs may be annoying when they prevent sleep.
"Nor did the lord fare the better, even when, inspired by higher motives,
he 'would a-wooing go.' For one lady or another had heard of the goblin,
and when they had not, it always happened that by some mysterious means
or other the match was broken off.
"Meantime the life led by the Signore was rather peculiar, as he slept
nearly all day, sallied forth for an hour or two to exercise, go to a
barber's, make his small purchases, or hear the news, supped at a
_trattoria_, and then returning home, sat all night listening to the
goblin as he played divinely on the horn, or blew it himself, which he
did extremely well, toped and hob-nobbed with his familiar, who was a
great critic of wine, and, as the proverb says, '_Buon vino fiaba
lunga_--Good wine, long tales'--they told one another no end of merry and
marvellous stories; and as _il vin fa cantare_, it makes man sing, they
also sang duets, solos, and glees. And when the weather was ill, or
chilly, or rainy, or too hot, they cured it with Chianti, according to a
medical prescription laid down in sundry rare old works:
"Nebbia, nebbia, mattutina,
Che ti levi la mattina?
Questa tazza di buon vino,
Fatta d'una marzamina,
Contra te sia medecina!'
"'Cloudy sky i' the morning early,
What will make you vanish fairly?
Ah! this goblet of good wine,
Essence of the blessed vine,
Shall be for thee a medicine!'
"Then they played chess, cards, cribbage, drole, ecarte, Pope Joan, bo,
brag, casino, thirty-one, put, snip-snap-snorem, lift-em-up,
tear-the-rag, smoke, blind-hookey, bless-your-grand-mother, Polish-bank,
seven-up, beggar-my-neighbour, patience, old-maid, fright, baccarat,
_belle-en-chemise_, bang-up, howling-Moses, bluff, swindle-Dick,
go-it-rags, ombre or keep-dark, morelles, go-bang, goose, dominoes, loto,
_morra_ or push-pin. And when extra hands were wanted they came, but all
that came were only fairy hands, short at the wrist, the goblin remarking
that it saved wine not to have mouths, _et cetera_. Then they had long
and curious and exceedingly weighty debates as to the laws of the games
and fair play, not forgetting meanwhile to sample all the various wines
ever sung by Redi. {23} So they got on, the Signore realising that one
near friend is worth a hundred distant relations.
"Now it befell one night that the goblin, having seen the Signore take
off a pint of good old strong Barolo very neatly and carefully, without
taking breath or winking, exclaimed with a long, deep sigh:
"'Thou art a gallant fellow, a right true boon companion, and it grieves
me to the heart to think that thou art doomed to be drowned to-morrow.'
"'Oh you be--doctored!' replied the Signore. 'There isn't water enough
in the Arno now to drown a duck, unless she held her head under in a
half-pint puddle.'
"The goblin went to the window, took a look at the stars, whistled and
said:
"'As I expected, it is written that you are to be drowned to-morrow,
unless you carry this horn of mine hung to your neck all day.
"'Quando ti trovi nel pericolo,
Suona questo corno piccolo,
E tu sarai salvato,
Non sarai affogato!'
"'If thou find'st thyself forlorn,
Blow aloud this little horn,
And thou wilt be safe and sound,
For with it thou'lt not be drowned.'
"Saying this, he solemnly handed the horn to the cavalier, drank off a
goblet of muscato, wiped his lips, bowed a ceremonious good-night, and,
as was his wont, vanished with dignity up the chimney.
"The gentleman was more troubled by this prediction than he liked to
admit. I need not say that the next day he did not go near the Arno,
though it was as dry as a bone; nay, he kept out of a bath, and was
almost afraid to wash his face.
"At last he got the fancy that some enemies or villains would burst into
his lonely house, bind him hand and foot carry him far away, and drown
him in some lonely stream, or perhaps in the sea. He remembered just
such a case. We all remember just such cases when we don't want to.
That was it, decidedly.
"Then he had a happy thought. There was a little hiding-chamber,
centuries old, in the palazzo, known only to himself, with a concealed
door. He would go and hide there. He shouted for joy, and when he
entered the room, he leaped with a great bound from the threshold of the
door, down and over three or four steps, into the middle of the little
room.
"Now he did not know that in the _cantina_ or cellar below this
hiding-place there was an immense _tino_, or vat, containing hundreds of
barrels of wine, such as are used to hold the rough wine ere it is drawn
off and 'made;' nor that the floor was extremely decayed, so that when he
came down on it with a bounce, it gave way, and he found himself in the
cellar over head and ears in wine.
"And, truly, for a minute he deemed that he was drowning in earnest. And
the sides of the vat were so high that he could not climb out. But while
swimming and struggling for life, he caught between his thumb and finger
at a nail in the side, and to this he held, crying as loud as he could
shout for aid. But no one came, and he was just beginning to despair,
when he thought of the horn!
"It still hung from his neck, and pouring out the wine, he blew on it,
and there came forth such a tremendous, appalling, and unearthly blast as
he of himself could never have blown. It rang far and wide all over
Florence, it was heard beyond Fiesole, it wakened the dead in old
Etrurian graves, for an instant, to think they had been called by Tinia
to meet the eleven gods; it caused all the _folletti_, _fate_, _diavoli_,
_strege_, and _maliardi_ to stop for an instant their deviltries or
delights. For it was the Great Blast of the Horn of the Fairies, which
only plays second fiddle to the last trump. {24}
"And at that sound all Florence came running to see what was the matter.
The Grand Duke and his household came; the Council of the Eight burst
their bonds, and left the Palazzo Vecchio; everybody came, and they
fished out the Signore, and listened with awe to his tale. The priests
said that the goblin was San Zenobio, the more liberal swore it was
Crescenzio, the people held to plain San Antonino. The Signore became a
great man.
"'My son,' said the goblin to him in confidence the following evening,
'as they sat over their wine,' (here I follow the text of Maddalena),
'this is our last night together. Thou art saved, and I have fulfilled
my duty to thee. Once I, too, was a man like thee, and in that life thou
didst save mine by rescuing me from assassins. And I swore to watch over
thee in every peril, and bring thee to a happy end.'
"'Il momenta e arrivato;
Addio, Via del Corno!
Addio, palazzo, addio!
Addio, padrone, nel altro mondo!'
"'The final hour has come for me;
Street of the Horn, farewell to thee!
Farewell, O palace, farewell, O street!
My lord, in another world we'll meet.'
"Then the goblin told the Signore that he would ere long contract a happy
marriage, and that it was for this that he had hitherto kept him from
forming alliances which would have prevented it; and that if in future he
should ever be in great need of assistance, to sound the horn, and he
would come to him, but that this must always be in the palace alone after
midnight. And having said this he vanished.
"The Signore grieved for a long time at the loss of his goblin friend,
but he married happily, as had been predicted, and his life was long and
prosperous. So he put the horn in his shield, and you may see it to this
day on the Church of Santa Maria Novella. And so it was that the Via del
Corno got its name."
* * * * *
"From which we may learn," saith Flaxius, "that wherever a man is
appointed to be on a certain day, there will the man be found. Therefore
do thou, O reader, so manage it that wherever thou art appointed to be,
thou canst _get well out of it_. For even Fate smiles when it desires to
do so."