PARIS, Monday, Dec. 15, 1670.
I am going to tell you a thing the most astonishing, the most
surprising, the most marvelous, the most miraculous, the most
magnificent, the most confounding, the most unheard of, the most
singular, the most extraordinary, the most incredible, the most
unforeseen, the greatest, the least, the rarest, the most common, the
most public, the most private till to-day, the most brilliant, the
most enviable; in short, a thing of which there is but one example in
past ages, and that not an exact one either; a thing that we can not
believe at Paris; how then will it gain credit at Lyons? a thing which
makes everybody cry, “Lord have mercy upon us!” a thing which causes
the greatest joy to Madame de Rohan and Madame de Hauterive; a thing,
in fine, which is to happen on Sunday next, when those who are present
will doubt the evidence of their senses; a thing which, though it is to
be done on Sunday, yet perhaps will not be finished on Monday. I can
not bring myself to tell it you; guess what it is. I give you three
times to do it in. What, not a word to throw at a dog? Well then, I
find I must tell you. Monsieur de Lauzun[309] is to be married next
Sunday at the Louvre, to ---- pray guess to whom! I give you four
times to do it in, I give you six, I give you a hundred. Says Madame
de Coulanges, “It is really very hard to guess; perhaps it is Madame
de la Vallière.” Indeed, madam, it is not. “It is Mademoiselle de
Retz, then.” No, nor she neither; you are extremely provincial. “Lord
bless me,” say you, “what stupid wretches we are! it is Mademoiselle
de Colbert all the while.” Nay, now you are still further from the
mark. “Why then it must certainly be Mademoiselle de Crequy.” You have
it not yet. Well, I find I must tell you at last. He is to be married
next Sunday, at the Louvre, with the king’s leave, to Mademoiselle,
Mademoiselle de ---- Mademoiselle--guess, pray guess her name; he is
to be married to Mademoiselle, the great Mademoiselle; Mademoiselle,
daughter to the late Monsieur;[310] Mademoiselle, grand-daughter of
Henry the IVth; Mademoiselle d’Eu, Mademoiselle de Dombes, Mademoiselle
de Montpensier, Mademoiselle d’Orleans, Mademoiselle, the king’s
cousin-german, Mademoiselle, destined to the throne, Mademoiselle, the
only match in France that was worthy of Monsieur. What glorious matter
for talk! If you should burst forth like a bedlamite, say we have told
you a lie, that it is false, that we are making a jest of you, and
that a pretty jest it is, without wit or invention; in short, if you
abuse us, we shall think you quite in the right; for we have done just
the same things ourselves. Farewell, you will find by the letters you
receive this post, whether we tell you truth or not.
[309] Antonius Nompar de Caumont, Marquis de Puiguilhem,
afterward Duke de Lauzun.
[310] Gaston of France, Duke of Orleans, brother to Louis XIII.