Matters did not improve at Great Ormond Street as the months rolled on.
There was evidently a serious estrangement between Linny and Stephen
Hallett; and in my frequent visits I saw that she was as wilful as she
was pettish, and that she was setting her brother at defiance. Mrs
Hallett was more piteous and complaining than ever, and her son grew
haggard and worn with care.
Once or twice, when Linny went out, Hallett had insisted upon going with
her, when she had snatched off her hat and jacket, exclaiming:
"It does not matter; I can go when you are away. I am not a child,
Stephen, to be treated in such a way as this."
He stood looking down at her, more in sorrow than in anger, and
beckoning me to follow, he went up to his attic and turned to his model,
but sat down thinking, with his head upon his hand.
"Can I do anything to help you, Hallett?" I said anxiously; and he
roused himself directly, and smiled in my face.
"No, Antony," he said, "nothing. I could only ask you to follow her,
and be a spy upon her actions, and that would degrade us both. Poor
child! I cannot win her confidence. It is my misfortune, not my fault.
I am no ladies' man, Antony," he continued bitterly. "Here, let us try
the model. I meant to have finished to-night; let us see how my
mistress behaves."
He often used to speak in a laughing way of the model as his mistress,
after Mrs Hallett telling him one day that it was the only thing he
loved.
It was then about nine o'clock, and putting aside reading for that
evening, I helped him to fit together the various parts. The framework
had been set up and taken down and altered a score of times, for, as may
be supposed in such a contrivance as this, with all its complications,
it was impossible to make every part at first in its right proportions.
In fact, I found out that for quite a couple of years past Hallett had
been slowly and painfully toiling on, altering, re-making, and
re-modelling his plans. It was always the same. No sooner had he by
patient enterprise nearly finished, as he thought, than he would find
out that some trifle spoiled the unity of the whole machine, and he had
had to begin nearly all over again.
"There, Antony," he said, on the night in question, as he laid down the
last wheel, one that he had had specially made for the purpose, "I have
got to the end of my thinking to-night. I have looked at the model in
every direction; I have tried it from every point of view, and if it is
not a success now, and will not work, I shall throw it aside and try no
more. What are you smiling at, boy?"
"Only at you," I said, laughing outright, for we were now, when at his
house, on the most familiar terms.
"And why?" he said, half amused, half annoyed.
"I was thinking of what you so often say to me when I am discouraged and
can't get on."
"What do you mean?"
"`Never say die!'" I replied, laughing. "I know you'll try again, and
again, till you get the thing right and make it go."
"Should you?" he said, looking at me curiously.
"Of course I would," I cried, with my cheeks flushing. "I never would
give up with a puzzle at home, and this is only a big puzzle. It seems,
too, as if we always get a little bit nearer to success."
"Yes," he said, nipping his lips together; "that's what makes it so
enticing. It seems to lure me on and on, like a will-o'-the-wisp in a
marsh. You're right, Antony, my lad; never say die! I must and will
succeed."
"Hurray!" I cried, pretending to throw up my cap. "Success to
Hallett's great invention! Patent, of course?"
"Yes," he said, with a sigh; "but where is the money to come from for
the patent?"
"Suppose we finish it first," I said, laughing.
"Right, my young wisepate," he cried; "but, good heavens! it's eleven
o'clock. Come, sir, pack off home to your lodging."
"Why, I thought we were to set the model going to-night?" I said, in a
disappointed tone.
"Yes, I did mean it," he said, fitting a couple of cog-wheels one into
the other. "But it is too late now."
"Let's try for another hour," I said eagerly.
"No, no, my boy. I don't like you to be out so late. Mr Revitts will
be annoyed."
"He's away on duty," I said. "Just another hour, and then you can walk
part of the way home with me."
"Well, just an hour," he said, with his pale face flushing with
pleasure; and we set to at once, he fitting together, while I polished
and oiled wheels and spindles, and handed them and the various screws to
him to fit in their places.
The model was as intricate as a clock, and there were endless little
difficulties to combat; but there was something so fascinating in the
task as the bright brass wheels were placed in order, and it begat such
an intense longing to see it in motion, executing in miniature the great
desire of Hallett's life, that we forgot all about time, and kept
steadily on till there were only a few screws to insert and nuts to
tighten, and the task would be done.
Hallett looked up at me as he re-trimmed the lamp by which we worked,
and I across the table at him, laughing at his puzzled face, for we had
unconsciously been at work over three hours, and it was past two.
"This is dreadful, Antony," he exclaimed, with a comical look of chagrin
on his face. "I seem fated to lead you into all sorts of dissipation.
What are we to do? I cannot let you go home so late as this. You must
lie down here."
"I'm not a bit sleepy," I said, "but I am hungry."
"Then you shall have some supper," he said dreamily, and with his eyes
fixed upon his model, forgetting me the next moment, as with his
dexterous fingers he tried the action of one or other of the wheels.
"It's a pity to leave it now," I cried.
"Yes, yes," he said with a sigh; "it is a pity: but it must be left. I
dare--"
He ceased talking, becoming completely abstracted in his task of
screwing on a nut, and without speaking I helped and watched and helped
until quite an hour and a half more had glided by, when with a look of
triumph he stood erect, for the task was done.
"She's finished, Antony," he cried, and in the elate eager face before
me I seemed to see some one quite different to the stern, quiet
compositor I met daily at the great printing-office by Fetter Lane.
I was as delighted as he, and together we stood gazing down at the
bright, beautiful bit of mechanism--the fruit of years of toil and
endless thought; but as I gazed at it a strange dull feeling of anxiety
came over me, and I glanced timorously at Hallett, for the thought
flashed across my mind:
"What will he say now if it fails?"
I literally trembled with dread as this thought forced its way home, and
with a choking sensation at my throat I watched his eager, elated face
each moment becoming more joyous and full of pride; and the more I
witnessed his pleasure, the more I feared lest his hopes should be
dashed.
"Why, it's daybreak, Antony," he said, drawing up the blind. "My poor
boy, what a thoughtless wretch I am. It is cruel to you. Come and lie
down directly."
"No," I said eagerly, "I want to see the model going."
"And so do I, Antony," he cried passionately; "but now the time has
come, my boy, I dare not try. I feel a horrible dread of failure, and I
must cover it over with a cloth, and leave it till I feel more calm."
He took up the large black cloth with which he had been in the habit of
covering it from the dust, and stood gazing down at the bright brass
model which had begun to glisten in the soft pure morning light now
stealing in from amidst the London chimney-pots, while a couple of
sparrows seated upon the parapet set up a cheery chirp.
I felt that I dared not speak, but as if I should have liked to lead him
away from the infatuation of his life. Somehow I knew that it would
break down, and the anguish he must feel would be something I could not
bear to see; and yet, combined with this, I shared his longing to see
the model at work--the beautiful little piece of mechanism that was to
produce a revolution in printing--turning easily, smoothly, and well.
As I gazed at his eager, anxious face, the pale light in the sky changed
to a soft warm flush; bright flecks of orange and gold sent their
reflections into the dingy garret, and seemed to illumine Hallett's
countenance, as with straining eyes and parted lips he stood there cloth
in hand.
"Antony," he said, in a low hoarse voice, "I am a coward. I feel like a
gambler who risks his all upon a stake, and dare not look upon the
numbers--upon the newly cast dice. No, no, I dare not try it now; let
it rest till to-night."
As he spoke he covered it carefully with the black cloth, but only to
snatch it away, apostrophising it the while.
"No, no," he cried; "it is like covering you with a pall and saying you
are dead, when, you, the birth of my brains, are ready to leap into new
life--new life indeed--the life of that which has had no existence
before. Antony, boy," he said exultingly, "what time could be more
fitting than the birth of a new day for my invention to see the light?
Throw open the window and let in the glow of sunshine and sweet fresh
air. It is unsullied yet, and it will give us strength for our--for
our--"
He hesitated, and his exulting tone changed to one of calm resignation.
It was as if he had felt the shadow of failure coming on, and he said
softly:
"Our triumph, Antony; or, God help me, fortitude to bear our failure!"
I had opened the window, and the soft, refreshing morning air floated
into the room, seeming to bring with it a suggestion of the scents of
the sweet, pure country; and now, in the midst of the silence, broken
only by the chirping of the sparrows, and the distant rattle of the
wheels of some market-cart, I saw Hallett's countenance grow stern as he
placed a little reel of thin paper, narrow as a ribbon, upon a spindle,
and then, motioning to me to go to the handle which was to set the model
in motion, he stood there with set teeth, and I turned.
There was a clicking, humming noise, the whirring of wheels, and the
rattle of the little cogs; the ribbon of paper began to run off its
spool, and pass round a tiny cylinder; and at that moment the little
model seemed illumined by a brilliant ray of sunshine, which darted in
at the open window. Then the light seemed to be glorifying Hallett's
face, and I was about to utter a cheer, when I felt a jar, and a shock
from the fingers that held the handle run right up my arm. There was a
sharp, grating noise, a tiny, piercing shriek as of tortured metal; and
in place of the busy glistening, whirring wheels an utter stillness. A
cloud crossed the rising sun, and with a bitter sigh Hallett stooped
down and picked up the black cloth, which he softly and reverently drew
over the wreck of his work, as I stood with dilated eyes looking at him
aghast.
"Poor model," he said softly, "dead so soon!" and with a sad, weary air
of resignation as he smiled at me: "it was a very short life, Antony.
Let us go down, my boy. You must be wearied out."
I followed him on to the landing without a word, and after he had locked
up the attic he led the way softly to the sitting-room, where he lit a
fire and we had some breakfast, for it was too late to think of bed.
Shortly afterwards we walked down together to the office, and I saw him
no more till the day's work was done.